PART 2
CHAPTER 1
Declan blinked as a voice asked him for some money before he handed a bill to the cashier. She looked closely at him before she counted out his change and he could see the question in her eyes as much as the useless attraction. He thanked her in a monotone voice as he took the coffee and left the cafeteria. Doctors and nurses rushed the halls of the local hospital as he went to the elevator and pressed the button. Nothing registered except the thoughts racing through his mind.
Six months.
That was how long ago Mal had changed his life by telling him that she was pregnant. It had been fast for both of them, so fast. He was the player and Mal the girl that had never seen herself as someone in a relationship such as theirs. What the fuck happened to all of that?
He stepped into the elevator as it dinged loudly and pressed the button to go to labor and delivery. He pictured her face, bruised and soft in sleep just like he’d left her. Declan sighed and closed his eyes as he forced his hand not to crush the hot coffee that was probably the only thing that was keeping him alert at this point. He just wanted to crawl into her bed and hold her until he made all of this go away. He got off and went down the hallway to be let into the one section of the hospital that was supposed to be happy and full of hope.
He pushed the door of the room open to see Mary and Rayna sitting in the chairs beside Mallory as they whispered softly to each other. Rayna looked up with red eyes and stood when she saw him. “I’m so sorry, Deck.”
He shrugged as they took turns hugging him before he took the seat to her left without even asking. Declan needed to see the door and needed to know everything that was happening around them. “He just ran the light. Didn’t even stop and she didn’t see him coming,” he mumbled almost incoherently before taking a long sip of the coffee. Mallory had been in his SUV driving home from school when she ‘d been hit and pushed into a pole. Emergency crews had been on the scene quickly and taken her here, but the baby had not survived. Their daughter Lindsay was dead and he felt tears roll down his cheeks. Mallory had a broken arm and some other injuries that she’d survive but the impact had just been too much for their baby. “I should have been driving her. Things might have been different.” He normally did, but there had been a late practice and he’d tossed her the keys to the car before kissing her lips and her stomach goodbye.
“Don’t, Deck. Don’t go back like that.” Mary urged him as she wiped her own tears away. “This isn’t your fault. It isn’t Mal’s fault. It just is.” She wept as she spoke, dropping into the other chair as she took Mal’s hand gently.
They had all been in the room when she delivered their stillborn baby hours ago. Mallory was hysterical and it had taken Mary’s voice and Deck’s hand holding hers tight to get her through the ordeal. Her screams still filled his ears as he felt the room spin and Declan shook his head slowly to try and stop it. Both of the women started to cry again and he rested his head in his hands slowly to try to shut it out. He wished that he’d been sedated like Mallory. She needed to rest and heal and he’d agreed to it along with Mary. It was the best idea and she wasn’t living this hell right now.
Not yet anyway.
“Deck?” He heard his gram at the door and looked up as she stared sadly at him. “Oh, baby. I’m sorry.” She came to where he was and hugged him tightly as he cried brokenly in her arms. “He’ll be in. He’s parking the car outside.” She sat down in the chair that Rayna brought over and cupped his face in her hands gently to look at him. “How is Mallory?”
“She’s hurt but she’ll be okay. They want to keep her here for about a week and just have an eye on her.” He looked at his gram and took a deep breath. “She’ll never get past this. She was so worried when we first found out about…the baby that we wouldn’t make it. She thought we weren’t enough. Mal had just started to relax because she was doing so well with the pregnancy and we were going to finally move in together. Now that’s all gone.” He pulled his gram close and cried again. “It’s all gone.”
His grandfather joined them which was when Mary and Rayna left the room to give them some privacy. “How are you holding up?” His grandfather shifted his gaze from Mallory to his grandson as he took in his appearance with a frown.
“I don’t know. It’s still so fresh and I can’t believe it.” Declan replied dimly as he blinked slowly. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and clicked on the pictures that he’d shot of the baby before they took her lifeless body away. The parents had been offered more time and they’d denied it though it might be something that they regret later. “Here she is.”
His gram burst into fresh tears as she looked at the images of the baby wrapped in a blanket and being held by her grieving parents. “I see a lot of you in her face, Deck. I’m so sorry. She’s beautiful.”
“I think she looked a lot like Mal.” His voice was cold as he spoke and the older couple looked at each other slowly. “That’s all we have of her and the urn when we get her…” He shook his head. “That’s all I will have to remind me of the life that I wanted so much.”
“You and Mallory still have each other. Don’t ever forget that.” Gram told him as he looked blankly at her. “You two can make it through this…you love each other so much.”
He didn’t know anything as he looked at his sleeping fiancée, her diamond ring on her left hand the only reminder of what they once shared. It was even dull in the light of the hospital room, which was glaring and artificial.
Declan had to balance his time the rest of the week between the hospital and school. Everyone was understanding of his circumstances and willing to give him some time off, teachers and the team both, but he needed to stay busy. He needed to distract.
Every time he was in that room looking at the shell of the girl that had been so passionate, Declan only felt guilt and sadness. She was sleeping a lot due to the heavy sedatives they had given her, so he was spared of conversation with Mallory which was both a relief and a curse. Nobody would understand their loss quite like Mallory, which was causing him to hold a lot of feelings in. Had he been talking to her, Declan would face reality.