CHAPTER 9
Amy
I was coming, so hard, but his final words shocked me into silence. Phil wanted to meet me? I didn’t do that. It was against the rules. There were so many reasons that it couldn’t happen but as the waves washed over me, I knew that I wanted Phil inside of me and I let the idea sink in as I jerked on my bed. Could I do that? Would it stop at one night or would we both want more? Could he keep my identity secret? Would I be surprised at his?
I never wanted to take this to a physical level. I liked the anonymity of phone sex, conversations in which I could lie about who I was. I hung up, and it was all over, at last until Phil called me that first night. That changed everything just as Brett started to change everything in my real life. What a combination and I smiled bitterly as a tear slid down my cheek.
I waited until my body was still, taking in the sounds of him on the other end. “I can’t meet clients, Phil.”
“Why not? This is more and you know it,” he argued as I pressed my lips together. I couldn’t have either man, and that made me sad.
“This is work,” I told him, waiting for the pain to set in. “You’re a great man, and I love these chats, but I don’t want more.” I was lying to both of us now, and I felt the tears in my eyes, I fell for Phil early on, close to the same way that I did for Brett. “I want you to find your real, Phil. Some woman deserves all of this from you, but it isn’t me. This is just a job for me, and I never think about meeting the clients. I talk to more men than just you the same way.” Ouch, I just hurt myself.
“I see. I was foolish to feel more for you. Just a job,” he repeated as I heard him sigh. “I can fuck any woman that I want, Cherie and I will. I’ll fuck them all and think of you,” he promised me in a cruel voice as tears slid down my cheek. “What will you do? Keep talking to strange men and getting yourself off, when you can have the real thing?”
“Stop it,” I said as my voice shook with tears.
“Are you crying, Cherie?” His voice softened, and I rested my head in my hands.
“I have to stick to the plan, Phil. I should work for my future, and I can’t let feelings get in the way of that. I can’t just meet you without thinking of the repercussions,” I told him as I drew my knees to my chest. “It’s a risk to both of us.”
“We’ve been talking for a couple of months, Cherie. I know that I feel something and I’d like to examine it. I already lost one girl, and I am not losing another.” I thought back to the woman that he worked with and smiled ruefully. “Hell, I’ve lost more than that, and I want to dive into this and feel you in the flesh.”
“I’m still not sure,” I replied as he sighed. This was going so much further than I ever expected it to, so much faster than it ever should have. I was scared, excited and nervous all in the same breath and I didn’t know if I wanted to step off my safe, sheltered little ledge. I knew that everything that I built was falling apart around me whether I stayed here in my bubble, that I wanted more than to be the girl on the other end of the phone. I pushed Brett away already, and I wasn’t certain that I wanted to do that same thing in this case. “It could change everything, Phil.”
“It could be great. It will be between us in a private place. Nobody will know about this,” he assured me, sweetening the package even further. I imagined us in a hotel room together, acting out every fantasy that we’d discussed and my hand slipped between my legs again. I was wet and ready for him, and I slid my fingers over my clit as I let out a low breath. “Baby, we could stay up all night getting to know each other intimately, personally. I could taste that sweet pussy for hours.” I let out a moan, and he laughed wickedly on the other end. “Are you touching yourself?”
“You make me want to for hours, Phil. I always feel turned on thinking about you,” I told him as I slipped two fingers inside. “I do it away from these calls. I think I’m addicted.”
“I am just as addicted. Meet me. I’ll get the best room for you and pleasure you for hours. I want to see your face when you come, Cherie.” Phil murmured more words to draw me in further and make me explode against my hand, longing for so much more. He came right after me, and I fell weakly against my pillows as I took a deep breath. I wanted him.
“Fine. I will.” I gasped at my words and closed my eyes.
“You will?” He asked as I frowned.
“Yes, in a couple of weeks. I need time,” I replied, knowing that I wouldn’t sleep for weeks now. I needed to go to a salon, get waxed, lose a few pounds…the list was endless.
“I am going to use that time to make it the night of your life,” Phil promised me as I laughed nervously. “Can we still talk before then?”
“Yes. I couldn’t live without that,” I said, smiling as he agreed.
What was I planning for myself?
We talked late into the night. With it being Friday, why not? He drank beer, and I drank wine, leading to more sex as we talked about our night together. I knew that we didn’t have any rules from our conversations, and things were bound to get a little crazy. I’d discussed being tied up, spanked, fucked in every way possible and giving him complete control. I didn’t even know what Phil looked like. What if he was old and ugly? There was no way. There was a huskiness to his voice that seemed familiar to me, that promised sin in the best of ways, and I knew that he wasn’t ugly.
I spent every moment talking to Phil when I wasn’t working. We planned our night repeatedly, giving into different fantasies every night. I grew more knotted with anticipation as the days passed, tired and edgy every single day at work. I worked through it, but I know that it didn’t go unnoticed. In fact, Brett seemed to be the same way when I looked closely at him.
I was working on something at my desk, sipping another cup of coffee as he paused one day. “Are you all right, Amy? You seem a bit…jumpy. Is something going on?”
“I’m working a lot. I have a freelance job on the side,” I told him, going on to tell him that I was a writer of short stories and blogs for a few clients. He asked me if I didn’t overdo it working so much and I shrugged, admitting that I liked the extra income so I could get ahead of the game while I was still young. I didn’t see the want in his eyes as he looked at me and nodded, telling me that he appreciated a woman that worked hard. He mentioned that he knew someone like that with warmth in his eyes, making me realize that he’d fallen in love. I was happy and envious all at once as he looked at me with genuine respect before telling me to take care of myself. That was all there was now; respect.
I started with my pampering the second week of what I termed as the wait. I had my curly hair trimmed and highlighted with shared of honey and caramel, loving the way the colors bounced around my shoulders with the layers as I looked into the mirror after the cut. I had shopped a bit, changing up my style just a little bit with the prospect of a new life and I picked a special dress for the night at the hotel. It was a slip of a plum silk dress, with tiny straps and a short skirt that was going to be covered with a long black cardigan for reasons of my own, at least until I stripped it off and gave myself to Phil. I was going to pair it with black heels that matched the black of my mascara that I was planning to wear that night.
I also got a Brazilian wax one night after work, gritting my teeth through the pain as the layers of wax were ripped off my most sensitive area. I knew that Phil liked bare skin and I was going to give that to him.
Brett gave me a double take when he saw me for the first time with my cut and color, pausing to smile at me. “Very pretty,” he complimented me as I blush, still aware that he got to me even in my Phil fog. He was a handsome man that wanted me once, and I’d always be proud of that. Phil, while I didn’t know what he looked like yet, reminded me of Brett somehow in the way he spoke though the voice wasn’t spot on. How lucky could a girl get?
“Thanks,” I told him as I smiled at him.
“You seem so happy,” Brett observed as I shrugged.
“I hope it ends up that way. It’s new, you know.” He nodded, and I could see the same look in his eyes.
“I understand. I hope your dreams work out for you, Amy. You deserve it.” Brett headed into his office, and I turned my attention back to the report open on my computer, appreciating the way we worked so well together. I loved my job, feeling good about it as I risked my night job meeting Phil. I didn’t know how that would end, but it was risking my job as an operator on some level. That was the first thing that I thought about when he asked me to meet him, but why couldn’t I do something else instead?
It was an option, something that I was comfortable with as the days passed by.