CHAPTER 10
I slept with him a few more times before I insisted on leaving Sunday. I was a hot mess as I drove away, weak with tears and want as I stared forward and thought about school. Mom seemed sad enough that I was leaving and I hugged her, so upset that we were doing this to her even as I wondered how she thought that she and Brett were okay.
I listened to Pandora as I drove home and cried. Every time with Brett felt better, but I also thought back to how good it felt to be in Cole’s arms. I never admitted that to him or Brett, but they both made me feel good. If I let myself think about it hard enough, I’d recognize that they fucked alike. That would make me a slut, though.
I pulled into my apartment complex a few hours later and turned off my car as I took a deep breath. I was home where things had a chance of being normal. I got my bag out and walked up to the door, unlocking it before I pushed it open.
It was so quiet here, and I carried my bag to my bedroom to set it down on the floor. This was a place where I hadn’t slept with Brett. This was a place that was only spoiled by the memory of Cole, making me shudder as I ran a hand through my hair.
I took a shower before anything else, needing to clean up and soothe my muscles before I worried about anything else. I longed to spray it inside of me and soothe myself there, but only time would dull those pains. I cleaned myself off and swore a new life before I dried off and brushed my hair.
I was making some toast and heard the knock at the door as I tightened my robe. I padded across the floor in my bare feet and peered through the door to see Cole standing there. I knew that he still had his key so he’d get in if he wanted to. I unlocked it and swung the door open, looking up into his face as he pushed his way inside and stomped into my living room. “What are you doing here?”
“You’re finally home,” Cole said as he looked at me and I frowned.
“Yeah, I stayed a few more days. Unlike you. What happened?” I asked him as he stepped forward and took hold of my arms while he stared at me.
“It all came back to me, what happened here. It was too much to deal with along with everything else going on, Ris. I was angry, jealous and all around hurt over everything.” Cole shook his head and raised his hands to my face. “Tell me that you feel something for me. Tell me that we were more than just drunk sex. Tell me that you don’t want to fuck my dad ever again.”
Cole pressed his forehead against mine as he stared into my eyes. Part of me wanted to tell him that wasn’t true, that it could happen again and I would wreck my mother’s life. But I didn’t and nodded instead as he lowered his lips to mine. I was practically fresh from being in bed with Brett, but I kissed him back as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
What was I doing? I felt his tongue tease my lips open as he kissed her harder and I moaned as he ripped open my robe. Fuck, his hands were on my hips as he pulled me closer and kissed down my neck. I remembered the mark from Brett’s teeth that he’d left the last time we were together and I hoped that I wouldn’t have to explain it.
Cole moved down to kiss my nipples before he sucked one into his mouth and pushed me down onto the couch. I felt his fingers sliding down to enter me, hitting me where I still hurt as I closed my eyes. I wouldn’t admit that as I bit my lip and arched my back to offer him more of everything.
We ended up in my room as he took me from behind, hard and deep as I asked him for more. Cole groaned my name as he filled the condom that covered him and made me release with him. I buried my face into my comforter as I felt shame wash over me. We rested together against the pillows as he pulled me close and kissed my hair. I had to admit that it felt good, safe and warm in his arms. In a perfect world, we could be a couple, and I closed my eyes and breathed our scent in. “What about our new situation?” I whispered as he kissed my neck.
“We’re adults who have parents that got married. We’re not blood-related and have little to do with them. I think our lives are relatively separate,” Cole replied as I frowned. I wish it were that simple.
I fell asleep with him. We woke up together and made breakfast with an ease that would be hard to find with anyone else. My feelings for Cole overruled anything else as we laughed together and sipped coffee. This would be a good thing for me, a comfortable situation.
Cole stayed the next night, and we both started back at school within a few days. I felt like I was miles away from Brett and Mom with each passing day as I got closer to Cole.
It all came crashing down around me when Brett sent me a text in class. He told me that he was in town at a nearby hotel and needed to see me. We needed to talk. I tried to ignore it, knowing that I was with Cole now, but Brett had a pull over me that I couldn’t control. I agreed to meet him at the Hilton and made my way to his room on the sixth floor slowly as I looked at my phone. Cole was at practice and had plans tonight, not that I planned on being here late. I was going to see what Brett needed and leave.
I tapped on the door, and he opened it with a towel around his waist as he dried his hair. “Really?” I asked as I have him a raised eyebrow.
“I just finished in a meeting. Come in,” Brett said as he moved for me to walk inside.
“What did you need to see me about?” I asked as I felt him behind me, my body tense as I felt his hands on my arms.
“I missed you, Larisa,” Brett told me as he kissed my neck gently. “Have you missed me?” His hand cupped my breast through the lace of my bra and squeezed as I let out a small moan. I was weak, and I reached behind me to tug the towel off of his body before I turned and moved to my knees on the carpet. Brett slipped his hands into my hair as I took him in my mouth and moaned helplessly. I cared for Cole so much, but Brett made me want to please him every time I was in a room with him.
He came inside of my throat as I swallowed and closed my eyes. I knew that I was past the point of no return as he lifted me and carried me to the bed, spreading my thighs open as he buried his face inside of me. I came for him, oh God how hard I came for him. I begged him to take me as he covered himself and pushed me onto my knees, reminding me of the day that I bonded again with Cole.
I stayed late, eating dinner in the room with Brett as we stared at each other over the table. “So is this one of those things where you pop into town, and we meet up?” I asked him as he let out a sigh.
“What do you want, Larisa? Do you expect me to beg you to quit school and run away with me?” Brett asked as I stared at him. “I’d love that, but you’re getting ready for your future.” I’d noticed the ring on his left hand when I got there and knew that he was still with Mom, probably fucking her every night. Jesus, what was I thinking? I was with Cole nearly every night. “Can’t we have this for a time?”
“I suppose it will have to do,” I replied as I sipped my water and picked at my fries.
“Have you seen Cole?” Brett asked as I lifted my eyes to his and nodded. “How is he?”
“Doing well, I think. We have a class together,” I replied vaguely as Brett nodded. I could see that he loved his son and I also knew that I did as well. Cole was good for me, right for me. Brett was with someone else and older, a fact that would make a life together difficult. At this point, I didn’t even know if he wanted that since we agreed to meet up when we could.
I left late that night and hoped that Cole was at home. Sometimes he let himself into the apartment to sleep with me, but I was almost sure that his plans involved him sleeping at his place. I let myself inside of the door and checked quickly to see that I was alone as I sighed in relief. I showered and climbed under the covers, ignoring the vibration of my phone on the nightstand. Brett wanted me to stay the night, and I was sure that it was him.
I made my way to class in the morning and found Cole waiting for me with a smile on his face. “Have fun?” I asked as I slid into my seat and looked forward.
“I sent you a text after I was drunk. You didn’t respond,” he said as I realized that my phone died when I left it on mute on the nightstand.
“It died. I fell asleep before I charged it,” I admitted with a smile as he shook his head at me. We ate lunch after our classes, and he glanced down at his phone right when we finished.
“It’s Dad. He wants to have dinner with us,” Cole said as I kept my face neutral. “I guess he pops into town once in a while.”
“I have a test I have to study for,” I said with a frown as he typed something back. There was no way that I was going to join them for dinner. I sensed that one would find out about the other at some point, but I didn’t want to be there when it happened.
I’d avoid that as long as I possibly could.