Over the next few months, Matt and I saw each other on a regular basis. I was continually invited to rich, upscale parties where I didn't fit in at all, and I knew I was only invited because of a sense of obligation. My stepfather never gave me so much as the time of day, and I didn't really see any windfall from his massive wealth. Mom was living the luxury life, spending her days in his gigantic mansion, catered by his staff of chefs, and using his money to buy herself an expansive wardrobe. She invited me to come live in the mansion with them, promising me my own wing, but I couldn't deal with living that sort of life. I could barely deal with being connected with it.
I escaped a lot of my obligations to my mother and stepfather by slipping away with Matt to go have some real fun. When they hosted a cocktail party as their first gathering as a new couple, Matt took me to see a rock concert. When we were invited to a big time actress's birthday party, I showed up long enough to have a few pictures taken with the birthday girl, then Matt and I rode off to a beach bonfire party down at the shore. We became such a regular thing that on my birthday, he bought me a leather biker jacket. I refused to think about how much it might have cost him and just focused on how badass it make me look.
The first time I succumbed to temptation was on New Year's Eve. My stepfather brought us to a big gala filled with people wearing custom-tailored tuxedos and colorful dresses that probably cost more money than I made in a month. I wandered the room for the first half hour of the party, helping myself to free food and expensive champagne, while I looked around for my stepbrother. I knew he'd be there; he always at least put in a brief appearance at these things, even if he was planning to duck out halfway through.
I was about to give up looking when I heard his voice coming from behind me. “You look like a woman who wants something.”
I turned to face him, my face heating up. I wasn't ready to admit what I wanted, though when I looked up at him and saw the possessive look in his eyes, it made my knees weak.
“Just looking for a chance to blow this lame party,” I said.
“Is that all you're looking for?” He reached out and ran his fingers through my hair. I whimpered and leaned my face into his hand, then pulled away when I realized what I was doing.
“Well, a place to see the fireworks would be nice, too,” I said, trying to cover my reaction to his presence. I downed the rest of my champagne, turning away from Matt so he wouldn't see my blush.
“I know just the place,” he said.
He took my hand and led me across the room, then out into the hall. We got into an elevator and went all the way up to the top floor of the high-rise building. I thought we were stopping there, but then he led me down the hall and to the stairs that led up to the roof.
“Are we allowed to go up there?” I asked.
“Do you care?” He smirked at me.
I smiled as well. “I guess not.”
The door was locked, but he found a way to force it open. He led me up the stairs and out onto the rooftop. We walked past air conditioning units and a satellite dish, then sat on a metal box that covered some kind of electrical equipment.
“It's beautiful up here,” I said.
“I'll say.”
I looked over at Matt and saw that he wasn't looking at the view. I blushed and turned away. I felt his eyes still on me.
“You're making me uncomfortable,” I whispered.
“Maybe you like being uncomfortable.” He put an arm around my waist and pulled me closer.
I closed my eyes, not wanting to admit that he was right. His touch made me tremble. I was scared of being caught up here, but I liked the idea of being caught with him. I wondered what my mother would think if she saw me up here with my stepbrother.
Matt started rubbing my back. His fingers felt amazing. I let out a soft sigh and leaned against him. He leaned closer, his warm breath tickling my neck. I caught him looking down the front of my dress. Had I worn such a low-cut dress on purpose? Did I like the way it drew his eye? I wasn't sure, but deep down, I suspected that I'd done it to lure him in.
“You're a beautiful woman,” he whispered.
I didn't hear those kinds of words often. Not from men. Not from wealthy, dangerous men like Matt. “You're just saying that,” I said.
“I never lie about such things.” His hand slid lower, straying below my waistline. I stiffened, but I couldn't bring myself to make him stop.
His hand slid even lower as his lips brushed my neck. I held myself perfectly still, craving more of his touch, but refusing to let myself indulge. It felt so wrong. Maybe that was why I wanted it.
When his other hand slid up my leg and tried to move under my skirt, I jumped and pulled away. “No.”
“Why not?” He looked me up and down, licking his lips. “You want it. I know you want it. You know you want it. So why not?”
“Because we're related.”
“Not by blood.”
I shook my head. I couldn't let myself cross that line. I imagined what it would be like if I got pregnant by my stepbrother. The humiliation. The scandal. If I still lived a normal, carefree, middle-class life, it might be different. But ever since my mother married one of the richest men in the country, my life had become anything but normal. I wasn't even really attached to the Partridges or their media empire, but I was still hounded from time to time by paparazzi, and I wasn't sure how much privacy I had anymore. I'd been photographed by a few tabloids, which had called me a “wild child” who was allegedly “living off her stepfather's fortune.” That couldn't be further from the truth. I hadn't seen a dime of my stepfather's money, and I doubted I ever would. But the media didn't care. And they wouldn't care about my privacy or my feelings if it were discovered that I'd slept with my stepbrother.
Matt studied the look in my eyes, a wicked grin on his face. “Come on, baby,” he said, unzipping his pants. “You got me all worked up. Are you really going to leave me like this?”
He exposed himself to me and I licked my lips. It had been a long time since I'd been with a man. Most men were shallower than Matt, and didn't want to get involved with a heavier girl. Oh, I'd had a few boyfriends in the past, but it had never worked out. And I'd never been one for casual dating.
I'd also never been the kind of girl who would fool around with a man on a windy rooftop on New Year's Eve. Maybe it was the champagne in me. Maybe it was the height, the way the city spread out beneath us. Maybe it was the fireworks that started erupting in the air overhead.
I moved closer, lowering myself to my knees. “I'm not sleeping with you,” I said.
Matt slid a hand into my hair and wrapped his fingers around the back of my head. “Whatever you say, baby doll.”
He pulled my head closer and I submitted, taking him into my mouth. He was hard and he was eager, pulling me down and forcing it in until I choked. I moaned, savoring the taste of him. He was warm and I could just taste the saltiness of his sweat. It spurred me on. I wrapped my hand around him and started giving him what he wanted. What I wanted.
I looked up at him as I savored the taste of him. He had a smug, dominant grin, and he kept his hand firmly on the back of my head to keep me from pulling away. I used my tongue on his most sensitive spots, making him moan and pull my head down harder with each thrust. When I had to come up for air, I let my fingers work the magic, while I whispered naughty things to him to egg him on.
“God,” he said as he smiled down at me. “You really are a naughty little thing, aren't you?”
I grinned, but before I could reply my mouth was full again. I closed my eyes and pretended that this was okay, that there was nothing wrong with it, that I wouldn't be humiliated if anyone found out. In the moment, all I cared about was embracing my lust. My free hand strayed between my own legs, sending sparks of electricity flying throughout my body.
Matt started pulling my head up and down with more force, and I knew he was close. I wanted his seed inside of me. I was nearly willing to spread my legs and take him in the most forbidden way, but before I worked up the nerve, he reached his climax. I swallowed as much as I could, though I still ended up with an embarrassing mess all over my face.
“God, that was amazing,” Matt said as I wiped my face on his pant legs. “Hey, those are Italian!”
“You're complaining?” I smirked at him.
He snorted and shook his head. “Hell no. That was the best time I've ever had with a girl.”
I got up and straightened my clothes and hair. I didn't want to go back down to the party looking like I'd just been down on my knees. Setting aside how embarrassing that would be, it would raise questions that I would never be able to answer. I supposed that I could maybe make up a story about meeting a guy at the party, but there was too much chance that someone, anyone, might have seen me and Matt leaving the party together. That could lead to scandal.
Matt zipped his pants. “You're amazing, babe,” he whispered. He leaned in to kiss me.
I pulled away and turned my face from him. “Don't.”
“What?” He laughed and shook his head. “Don't go telling me that you're getting all shy now. Not after what you just did.”
“I gave you what you wanted,” I said, refusing to look at him. “It...it's not going to happen again.”
My chest felt tight. I'd wanted this to happen. Deep down, I knew I had. But I was ashamed of myself. For wanting him. For giving in to temptation. For letting my defenses down. But most of all, I was ashamed that I still wanted more.
“Anne...”
“Don't.” I stepped away from him, heading for the stairs. “Please, just don't.”
He followed, but kept his distance. We headed back down to the party, entering through separate doors. I avoided him for the rest of the night.
When it was almost time to leave, my mother found me. “Anne! There you are. Where have you been? And why is your dress all dirty?”
I looked down at my skirt and saw black stains from where I'd knelt on the rooftop. “I...I fell. But I'm fine.”
“Dear, what's wrong?” She cupped my face with her hand, as if checking for a fever. “You're all red. Is everything okay?”
I caught Matt's eyes from across the room. “Yeah, Mom. Everything's fine.”
* * *