Chapter seven
I hadn’t told anybody about my stupid trick of seducing him when he was drunk. They would’ve seen me as desperate and most likely would have ridiculed me mercilessly. It had been a few days and I had denied him his just deserts.
I stand here in the bathroom and look at the stick and I can’t believe this is happening. It was not my intention to get pregnant, but going in there without any kind of protection was only asking for it. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I felt he needed all the information before I made a decision one way or the other.
I waited for another day and then I couldn’t take it anymore. I barged into his room to see him pumping new life into his manhood. He stared at me with disbelief that I would actually interrupt his me time. “I hope that you have a good reason for coming in here like this. I was just about to bend you over my bend.” I was stunned by his attempt to embarrass me.
I think he saw the angst on my face and his teasing gesture had changed. I sat on his bed with my palms down on my knees. I couldn’t look at him and I felt his hand on my shoulder in a comforting gesture. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but I may as well just come out and say it. I’m pregnant and it is yours. I’ve never been with anybody else, so you don’t have to ask me any of those stupid questions running around in your head. I know this was unconscionable, but I feel trapped and I need you to say something.” It was a lot to absorb. He was obviously in a state of shock. The hand on my shoulder had gripped my trapeze just a little bit tighter than before.
“We have a lot to discuss. What we need to do right away is to get an appointment with a real Dr. I’m guessing that you used one of those home pregnancy tests. Let’s be sure before we go off half cocked. I never thought about being a father, but it does make me happy. I know this was a mistake, but I think I would love to have a child to raise in my image. I see the way I’ve been treating women and I wonder if it’s too late to say that I’m sorry.” I wasn’t sure if he meant anything of what he was saying, but he did sound like he was on the level.
“I hope you didn’t think I did this to get my hands on your trust fund. I know all about the millions you’re going to inherit upon your 25th birthday. I’m not asking for anything, but I certainly wasn’t expecting you to be over the moon. Do you think we should tell my father and your mother?” I turned and saw the worried look on his face.
“I’m not ashamed of what we did, but I don’t think people would understand. We should keep the secret between us. I don’t want to give you any kind of reputation and have people looking at us differently in school. People can be cruel when they don’t understand. I think you know I’ve always wanted you, but what you don’t know is that I’ve had feelings that went beyond just the sexual kind.” This was something that made my whole body shiver with excitement.
“I never hated you, Anthony. I was just jealous of all the attention you were giving to those other women. Why would you do that to me when you felt the way that you felt?” I didn’t know what was going on in his head and I certainly couldn’t read it like a cheap novel.
“It’s going to sound really stupid, but I wanted you to hear me with them. I wanted you to be desperate to be with me. I never thought you would take it that far. I was hoping, but I would’ve liked to be a part of it, instead of an empty shell.” He grazed my cheek with his fingertips and I laid my face into the palm of his hand. I closed my eyes and being this close and intimate was not what I was expecting from this conversation.
“Anthony, I don’t feel right about keeping this a secret, but I understand where you’re coming from. I think it’s foolish of us to think we can keep this a secret forever. Eventually, I’m going to begin showing and not even frumpy clothing and loose fitting attire are going to be able to hide that for long. We might have six months, but that is not a foregone conclusion. I’ve no idea how my body is going to react or how big I’m going to get. Are you still going to want me when I am fat?” I lost control and I wept into his arms with him holding me by the small of the back.
“I don’t know if I’m in love with you, but I do have deep feelings that go beyond just friendship. I don’t know what love is. I have no idea if I would even recognize it if it slapped me across the face. I do want to tell you that I will always be there for you. Six months is more than enough time. I just got word the Vikings are looking to sign me to a multiyear contract deal. That team has always been the one that I wanted to play for and this will give us the opportunity to get some distance between us and our parents.
“Nobody will know us in Minnesota and we can begin our life with a family of our own. We’re not related, so there is no stigma, but I don’t think our parents are going to see it that way. We’re just going to have to break it to them when they come to visit. In the meantime, we will make sure to keep this on the down low. This is for our ears only and maybe a doctor. I’m not going to go to my regular Dr. I just have to find some referral and then we can take it from there.
He was holding my hands lovingly and this was not the same ego driven football star with no morals or scruples to speak of. He was showing me real kindness and not dismissing me out of hand. “I don’t know where we go from here, Jessica. We have a plan, but plans are made to be broken. Let’s hope the secret doesn’t get out some other way, until we are ready to tell everybody.
“I know that you can’t say that you’re in love, but I can. I’ve been in love with you for a very long time and I never knew how to tell you without sounding completely around the bend. I shouldn’t have done what I did, but I can’t take it back. You have crippled my heart and I metaphorically bleed any time that you show any other girl any attention. Are you sure that this is what you want? I would hate to wake up several years from now and know that I was not what you wanted.”
“I have this protective need to keep you close. I’m glad you can say the words so easily, but for me it’s more complicated. I’ve seen my mother toss that word around too many times to count and never once did it last. I don’t know if your father is different, but I hope for our case they will be able to make it work.”
“I want you to come along with me and don’t be scared. I’m going to set you free from having to give out your affections freely to anybody that is looking to trap you in some sort of loveless marriage.” He kissed me and this was not the kind that made me feel that he was doing it just because of sex. He really did have this devotion for me and the child. I couldn’t hope for a better result to this bombshell I was laying at his feet.
“I’m not scared. Who am I kidding, I’m terrified of what kind of parents we’re going to make. I’m guessing a lot of people go through these emotions when they are expecting.” I held him for as long as possible, but we needed to separate and make it look like nothing was amiss. “I don’t know how I’m going to be able to look at you, Jessica without smiling all the time. You’re carrying my baby. A little life is growing inside you at this very moment.” I just wanted him to put his arms around me and never let me go.
“Believe me; I’m just as shocked as you are. If you’re holding my hand, I know that I can endure anything. I expect you to be in the delivery room when this little bundle of joy is ready to come out to the real world.” I was not going to be some old fashioned wife that was barefoot and pregnant and cooking in the kitchen. I had designs on becoming a veterinarian and I was not going to allow this little hiccup to cause me to change my choice of profession. I was not going to get caught in a waitress job or wile away at home with the child while Anthony was putting food on the table.
“I want you to walk on your own. I will be there to support you in whatever way you need. I want all of your dreams to come true, Jessica. I want us to have a life. I never thought the feeling of being all alone would be replaced by an instant family. This is everything that I’ve wanted and more. I don’t think I could be any happier.” He lifted me by my armpits and twirled me around. I was bigger than most girls and I was going to get even bigger. It appeared that he was quite happy with more to love.
While he was wringing his hands and pacing back and forth on the floor, I called around and finally found a Dr. that was willing to see me on such short notice. He drove me to the clinic in the next town over and we waited to be seen by this old fashioned doctor with grey in his hair and beard.
“It’s very refreshing to see young people like yourself taking your responsibilities seriously. If you were wondering, you are pregnant and I believe it has been less than a few days. I’m guessing this doesn’t come as any big shock, but now the real work begins. You’re going to have to come in for regular checkups and eventually I am going to have to prescribe prenatal vitamins. I’m guessing in this day that you want a natural childbirth. May I suggest taking classes? I can help you with that and I have a few cards I’m going to give you.” He was a kind father figure, but I wondered what he would do if his baby girl was pregnant.
“You have made this very easy for us, Dr. Colton. I appreciate that you’re not looking at me with judgment or condemnation. Accidents happen all the time, but I never thought I would be part of one. We didn’t plan this, but we are very excited and scared to be parents.” Anthony was looking at his phone and I could tell from his expression that he was not happy.
“I hate to do this, but the coach has the head of that organization waiting to meet me. I don’t want to leave you, but this is important for our future. This meeting is either going to take my career to the next level or not. I have to prove to them that I’m a team player. I’ve been known to hog the ball. Before I forget and I know it’s a touchy subject, but… damn… I don’t know how to say this without sounding crass or perverted. It’s just that…” For the first time in his life, I noticed that Anthony was having a hard time putting something into words. It was kind of refreshing to see that he didn’t have a silver tongue all the time.
“I’ve been doing this a long time and I already know the question on your mind. There’s no reason why you can’t continue conjugal activities in the bedroom. In layman’s terms, you can still have sex like wild animals.” I blushed and I looked at the both of them and then turned my body away with embarrassment.