CHAPTER 5
Sadly, getting through that time meant a lot of drinking for me. Mom gave me a generous amount of money every month, and I bought a lot of wine and even a few bottles of sweet hard alcohol. I’d go to class and then home, where I’d drink, study and watch anything that I could on television.
Cole didn’t call me, and I saw him around school with a new blonde girl. He had his pick of ladies being athletic and handsome and it didn’t come as a shock to me at all. It just hurt a lot more than ever before. I’d see him look at me before turning his head away, punishing myself with the inner shame and hatred all over again. I used to be more important than his flings and even some of his football buddies, but now I was nothing.
I was just a fling to him. Ouch…that stung a lot.
I left my last class and drove back to my apartment to finish packing. My mom lived close by and it was an easy drive, but there were times that it felt like a separate country to me. I threw some clothes into my backpack and heard my phone chime from the kitchen counter. “Geez, Mom. I’m leaving soon.” I rolled my eyes as I grumbled out loud and walked across the room.
To my surprise, it was a text from Cole.
Cole: Are you headed home for the holiday?
Me: I am leaving now. How about you?
There was so much more that I wanted to ask him but I merely waited for his response.
Cole: I am going to see my dad over the weekend. He wants to fix things and have me meet his new wife.
I knew that Cole had been on the outs for years since his parents divorced when he was fifteen. I’d never met either parent and knew very little about them since he stayed quiet about the subject. Something big must’ve happened for him to go see him since Cole chose his mother’s side from the beginning. Maybe he was just tired of the distance.
Me: I hope it goes better than meeting my new stepdad.
Cole: I don’t think I’ve slept with any older woman lately, so I’m not worried. Have a good week, Larisa.
Was that a dig at me? Asshole! I took a deep breath and decided what to write back.
Me: You, too. I’m sorry, Cole.
I took the phone and shoved it into the pocket of my jeans as I took one last look around the house. I had everything I needed to make the one-hour trek, and I slung my backpack over my shoulder as I slipped my purse the other way. I made my way to the car, listening too closely for a text that didn’t arrive. I turned on some loud music to play over the speakers while I drove and sang along as I forced my mind to go numb. My mom could be tough to deal with on a normal basis much less with a new guy. I wanted to be happy for her, but it was just weird right now.
I pulled up to the big house with the tall turret and parked near the garage where I wouldn’t block anybody. I gathered my things and headed to the front door, opening it as I smelled something good inside. Mom didn’t cook so maybe she had a chef. I set my bags down on the couch and walked towards the kitchen to find Brett standing at the stove as he stirred something. My eyes roamed over his body, remembering how tight his ass was as I pulled him inside of me and begged for more. I knew what he felt like inside of me, but I had no idea that he was a cook. I found that sad. “Where’s Mom?” I asked as he turned around to look at me with a smile.
“She’s out of town for the night. Work stuff.” I frowned and pressed my lips together as I realized what an uncomfortable night this was going to be. “I hope that you like beef. I made a roast with some veggies for dinner.”
“It’s fine,” I answered dismissively as he looked me over for a moment, seeming to be unsure of something. “I’m going to put my stuff away.”
“Larisa? I think we need to break this iceberg between us,” Brett said as I paused in my spin and frowned. “I recognized you at the restaurant, but I didn’t know who you were before that. I hadn’t seen any photos yet since I was still living in an apartment.”
I knew that there wasn’t a lot of family photos here, to begin with. Mom preferred art to real life, it seemed. “If you had, would it change anything?” I asked as I slowly looked at him. I saw the way his eyes darkened and felt the heat in the room as I cursed myself.
“I…I wanted to contact you after that night, Larisa. I know we left it with no way to do so, but I enjoyed myself. A lot,” Brett told me as I frowned at him. “It was more than just a one-night thing to me, despite meeting in a bar. I think that if I knew that she was your mom, I might not have rushed into this. I don’t know.” He seemed confused and leaned against the counter.
“It doesn’t matter now, right? That was a long time ago, and you’re here now.” I waved my hand around and shrugged. “We just have to find a way to move past that.”
“Do you ever think about it?” Brett asked as I looked at him. “I could tell that night that you’re not the kind of girl to just sleep around, though I sensed that you were hurting inside.”
“God, it was a one-night stand. Aren’t those supposed to be epic?” I had asked before my face flushed pink. “Shit. I didn’t mean to say that.” I started to leave the room as I heard him chuckle.
“I got my answer. Dinner is at six, Larisa. I’ll see you then.” God, he had a sexy voice, and I snatched my bags from the living room and hurried upstairs to my room.
I was in hell, the worst kind of hell. I was still suffering from the loss of my best friend, and now I had to sleep here tonight with someone else that I slept with. “Drinking is bad. Drinking is atrocious,” I murmured to myself as I entered my room and put everything on my bed. It looked the same as when I left for college, with all of the same knick-knacks and pictures in the cork board near my door.
I looked at pictures of Brenna, my best friend from high school as I took a deep breath. If she were here, I’d discuss this with her, and we might laugh about it; but she’d been killed in an accident driving home from school in our senior year. That was a lot of why I shut down, and Cole was the only person that managed to break down my walls since then. I sighed and unpacked my stuff to put it in my closet and drawers, letting some music play from my phone. I rested against my many pillows and pulled out my Kindle to try and read a book, but the past kept flashing through my mind as I watched the screen blur through my tears.
I woke up when there was a tap at my door and blinked in the dim room. My room. “Yeah?” I croaked as I pushed my hair back and blinked a few times.
“Dinner’s ready,” Brett called through the door as I licked my lips. I was starving, and I decided that I needed to move past what happened with him as well as Cole.
“I’ll be right down,” I said as I stood and walked into the attached bathroom. I looked a mess, and I splashed some cold water on my face and shoved my hair into a messy bun. The fact was that Brett had seen me drunk and naked and nothing would probably surprise him at this point. I pulled on a flannel over my tank top and wandered down the stairs to the kitchen, where Brett had set up the small table by the window overlooking the lavish backyard.
“There you are. I didn’t know if you wanted a drink, given the last time that I saw you.” His face turned up in a smirk as I stared at him and felt my cheeks heat up.
“Do you mean the first time or dinner a few weeks back?” I asked in a sarcastic tone as I walked to the fridge and opened it.
“You were drinking both times, weren’t you?” He asked as I pulled out some wine and went to grab a big glass.
“You know I was,” I replied as I poured a generous amount and walked over to the table. He brought over something in a glass and joined me as I looked over the spread. “This looks good.”
“I hope so. It’s my mom’s recipe,” Brett told me as I looked at him in surprise. He didn’t seem like a mama’s boy to me. He sliced a few thin slices of the meat and loaded it onto my plate before I helped myself to the vegetables and picked up my fork. I tasted a potato and tried to determine what the spices were as I frowned. I took a bit of the meat and ate the same thing and chewed carefully as he looked at me in amusement. “Like it?”
“It’s unique. Delicious. What am I tasting?” I asked him as our eyes locked across the table for a long moment before he sipped his drink.
“It’s a family secret,” Brett teased me as I raised an eyebrow and picked up a carrot with my fork. I had a memory of his face between my legs, tasting me with his tongue deep inside of me as I gripped his hair and stammered his name, making me blink as the silverware clattered on the table. My hands were shaking, and I grabbed the wine and drank a large sip. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying.” Brett observed as I pressed my lips together.
A tear slid down my cheek as I sniffled and he leaned forward. “I…seeing you brought back memories of that night, something that started as a way to forget about my asshole ex and turned into everything I didn’t think it would be. I’d let it go until dinner that night and the way that I dealt with it was sleeping with my best friend at my apartment that night.”
“You’re bi?” Brett asked with a dark look in his eyes as I laughed and shook my head.
“Guy best friend,” I corrected as he nodded. “It was pretty good, and I knew that I fucked up the following morning. I crossed a line that I shouldn’t have.”
“So why not see him as more than a friend?” Brett asked as I looked at him.
“I was just confused that night. I was a hot mess,” I confessed as I took another drink of wine and wiped at my tears. “I still am, I suppose.”
Brett stepped up and walked over as he offered me his hand. I stared at him as I took it and felt him pull me into his arms. I sensed a sweet concern in this gesture, but there was an underlying heat that was hard to deny for me as I let out my breath and wrapped my arms around his neck. “You’re not a mess, you’re beautiful.” His voice was low in my ear, and I shivered as his hand moved down my back. “This is so fucking wrong, Larisa but I can’t help but to want you.”