CHAPTER 10
“Dawson?” Her raspy voice, nearly a whisper, woke him from his sleep like a 4-alarm bell. It was well after midnight. Granny and Ellie had left hours ago, and Everly had been called out on the chopper. Regardless of his feelings the day before, he couldn’t leave her. Not sure he was really seeing Sam awake and talking or if he was dreaming, he hesitated, afraid to be disappointed, before responding.
“You’re awake. How do you feel? Here, I’ll call the nurse.”
“Nurse? What’s going on? What time is it?”
Although awake and looking around and at him, it was clear that she wasn’t entirely aware of her surroundings. With tired eyes resting on him, she gave a subtle grin, waiting for his response. They had not prepared for this, even after her brief awakening the day before. How in the hell would he answer that question? Was he even the best person to answer? His instincts to protect and take care of those he cared about kicked in. He just wanted to protect her, but how could he from this. What he was about to tell her was going to turn her world upside down?
“Well, I don’t know how to answer that. Shit, uh, what do you remember?”
She began to grin and coughed when what he thought was a giggle tried to erupt. She lifted her arms to her face, obviously embarrassed by what came to mind, and he had a clue as to what those thoughts might have been, given her reaction. Her light, dreamlike, mood quickly turned to panic when her arms didn’t reach her face without the pull of IV lines and wires. Staring at her arm, where a cast once was and now a splint, tears began to well as she searched her entire body, absolutely petrified.
“What…what the hell? What is this? Dawson?”
Sam quickly jerked up, cringing with obvious pain as she studied her surroundings, hunting for answers. He moved to the edge of her bed, holding both of her hands so she wouldn’t hurt herself, and pulling her close to comfort her. His heart shattered at the sound of her fear-stricken sobs; he held her close and spoke softly, trying to comfort her.
“Shh, it’s okay, baby. You’re okay. I promise I’ve got you. I’ve got you, honey.”
“What…what happened, why am I here? Oh, my God! Where is she, where’s…”
He held her tighter, knowing who she was looking for and feeling every ounce of her fear as she stiffened, trying to pry her way from his arms to search for her daughter. He owned her fear, absorbed it as thoughts of her hurting herself again flashed through his mind. Reaching near panic, he held her tight, rushing to find the words to bring her back to him, to this moment, so he could help her.
Overwhelmed with his own emotions, realizing that she was so much more to him than he had realized before this moment, he dug deep, searching for the strength he needed for both of them. All he wanted to do was help her, take her pain away, her fears and confusion; he would take it all for her without hesitation.
“Ellie is fine, honey. She’s at home with Lou. Everyone is okay. I want you to calm down, baby, please. I don’t want you to hurt yourself. Now that you’re back, I don’t want to lose you again.”
He was as unprepared for his declaration as she clearly was. He knew it was true, however, now that she was awake and talking, seemingly fine. Given the circumstances, he was scared she would go away again. Seeing her wide-eyed, uncertainty and fear washing across her face, he worried those emotions were about his words, more than her current state.
“You met Ellie.” Not a question, but a statement. “Dawson, what happened to me? Please…”
As timing would have it, the nurse decided to walk in at that moment. Her surprise was obvious when she saw Sam sitting up, awake.
“Well, hello, Sam! How are you feeling dear?”
“I…I don’t know. Good? Tired? Confused? A little nauseous? How am I supposed to feel? What happened; why do I have a splint on my arm, and all…this?” Sam waved her arms about, defining this
as the bandages, splints, and paraphernalia that surrounded her. The nurse wrestled with the machines and wires that began to beep, noting bits of information on Sam’s chart, before resting a gentle hand on Dawson’s shoulder.
“You didn’t tell her yet?”
“No, she had just woken up when I hit the call button. She was upset, frightened, when she saw all this around her. I was trying to calm her down before…”
“Okay, well let me check a few things sweetie, and then I’ll go call the doc. You want to wait for the doc or do you want…”
“Dawson. I want him to tell me, please? No more waiting. This doesn’t feel real; this doesn’t feel right.”
“It will be a bit before the doctor makes it in; we’re close to morning rounds anyway. Your vitals look great, considering. Take your time; a lot has happened, and it’s a lot to take in. I’m going to call this in. I’m right outside that door if you need me.”
The nurse exited the room with a sympathetic look and nod to Dawson. The air thickened as emotions brewed, anxieties stirred, and a heaviness settled; both of them just looking at each other at a loss for words. He couldn’t help but reach for her, to hold her, to comfort her as he felt her pain. He raised her hospital bed to a more upright position, fluffed her pillow, and gently leaned her back, always the caretaker. She pulled his already held hands toward her, until he sat right beside her, and wouldn’t let go of him.
“Are you comfortable? Do you need anything?”
“Just answers, Dawson. I feel like I was hit by a train and I’m exhausted. What happened; why am I here?”
“Tell me what you remember last. Do you remember our date?”
“Yes, very well, in fact it might have crept into my dream a little bit.”
Instant mortification crossed her face as she realized what she just revealed, obviously struggling with the whole ‘think before one speaks’ rule. Dawson gave her a surprised look that he quickly replaced with what looked like satisfaction and a proud grin. He pulled her closer until she was leaning into him, helping her through the embarrassment that now laced her emotions.
“I can’t believe I just said that out loud. What the hell?”
“It’s probably the meds. If it makes you feel any better, I think about it a lot too. Look, I really don’t know where to start, a lot has happened since that night.”
“Since that night? Since last night? Dawson?
“Sam, you were in an accident. It was bad, real bad.”
He hesitated as images of that horrific night flashed through his mind, a chill coming over him as he pictured the wreckage and seeing her body pinned, nearly lifeless, inside. Her body mangled, bloody, and limp as they extracted her from the twisted metal and laid her on his gurney. The sense of helplessness from that night returned as he remembered going through the motions to save her and get her to help. His heart ached at the memories; they carried more weight now for some reason as he pictured not just Sam, but Ellie, Lou, and Everly. He cared for all of them, especially Sam, and the thought of her not making it that night stung to his core.
“Dawson?”
“Sorry. Um, it was a bad wreck. You were on your way here, on the back road, and somehow hit a big Ponderosa off the road a ways. Do you remember any of that? How you ended up off the road? Did a deer or something jump out in front of you?”
“A tree? I hit a tree? I don’t…I don’t remember. I remember being with you. You brought me home. I don’t remember going to work or seeing Ellie…nothing.”
“You took a bad hit to the head; that was the worst of it. I suppose that’s why you don’t remember. Your arm was broken, this one fractured. Your legs were pinned under the steering wheel, this one broke, so was the ankle. You have fractured ribs on this side, one broke on this side. Your seatbelt saved you but not without messing up those ribs.” He paused, considering how he was to deliver the final blow. Deciding there wasn’t any easy way, he went straight to the point. “You are lucky to be alive, Sam, damn lucky. You were in a coma.”
She just stared at him, expressionless, emotionless, and lost for words. All of those injuries and lucky to be alive; all she could think of was Ellie in that moment. Her poor baby, she must have been terrified. They all must have. A coma? Her body hurt, and there was evidence of her injuries, but to that extent, she should be in more pain, unless…
“You said I was in a coma? How long?”
“For a while, your body needed time to…”
“How long, Dawson? How long? I feel like shit, but this isn’t a broken arm, and my ribs don’t feel broken, although they hurt like hell. How long
?”
Her voice had reduced to a whisper as her tears returned, and she realized that her scars were fresh, but lacked stitches, and her broken limbs were no longer in casts. As a nurse, she was well aware of how long injuries of that magnitude need to heal. Nausea set in and the room began to spin when she realized how much time she must have lost with her daughter, how much of her life she would never get back.
“Sam, you have been asleep for seven weeks, almost eight.”
“I’ve been just laying here for two months? Why can’t I remember? It feels like I was just with you last night, not two months ago!”
“You were just with me last night, and nearly every night since the accident. When I wasn’t working, I was here. With you, with your family, waiting for you.”
Waiting for her…he was here waiting for her. Her heart swelled with his words, but the sadness that came with knowledge of what happened to her won the battle, and she wept. He laid next to her, pulled her close, and let her cry on his chest. He would be strong for both of them.