CHAPTER 10
It was a good twenty minutes down the ridge and across town from Morgan’s ranch to the hospital. Lights and sirens were in full blast as they took advantage of being in the police vehicles. Anything to get there quickly and safely.
Beck sat behind Blake with his back to the door, Morgan leaning against him for support. Carly had taken to the opposite end, facing Morgan, just in case. It was a good thing they were so prepared because they were barely off the property when Morgan said something was wrong.
“I…I think I need to push! Why is this happening so fast?” she exclaimed.
“Oh, no. You are not
doing that
in here,” Jessie scolded.
“I…have…to…puuuuush,” Morgan shouted back in obvious discomfort.
“Shit!” Jessie said, looking over her shoulder. “Cross your legs! Blake, drive faster!”
“She can’t Jessie. This is all up to Mother Nature, and she decided that this baby is coming now
,” Carly added in a soft comforting tone. “Pushing can take hours, though, so let’s not panic.”
“Hours?” Morgan cried.
“Perfect! Take your time, Morgie. No rush, you’ve got this. We’ll be at McKenzie General in like fifteen minutes, then do whatever Mother Nature wants after that, okay?” Jessie was pleased with her team spirit
.
Morgan turned an evil glance Jessie’s way, “Shut…your…face, NOW
! Turn around!
Turn around!”
Jessie was quick to oblige, given the frightening look on Morgan’s face.
“Jesus, this is brutal. I’m not sure I’m going to make it to the hospital,” Jessie said as if that was priority one.
“You’re doing good, Morgan. This one’s just a little anxious to meet mama, and…whoa…has a lot of hair!” Carly said with enthusiasm, trying to maintain a sense of calm. “Jessie, hon? Can you take off your sweatshirt?”
“Say what? And how do you know it has a lot of…” Jessie chose that moment to turn back around, regretfully so. “Holy shit!
Is that? That’s the…it has hair, Morgie. Shit-tons of hair. Oh, my God, and that’s your…”
Jessie turned back to face forward, feeling as though she was imposing and catching sight of things she probably shouldn’t, making her stomach flip. “Sorry. Sorry, I didn’t mean to look and see your…sorry.”
“Your sweatshirt?” Carly reminded, “This little one will need to be bundled up in something, and your sweatshirt
is our best option.”
Carly was as sweet as they came and obviously good at her job. She was mellow, comforting, and even her evil, gritted teeth when Jessie didn’t follow through sounded sweet.
“You’ve got to be kidding me…” Jessie tossed her head back in disbelief before disrobing the sweatshirt.
“Not at all,” Carly said, her tone still soft and sweet, though Jessie sensed a little menace in it.
“It’s…it’s probably not even clean back there,” Jessie inserted, handing the sweatshirt back. “I should have ridden in the other car.”
“You really aren’t helping,” Blake said in a low tone.
“She’s about to have a baby all over your
backseat,” Jessie whispered back. “Are you seriously okay with that?”
“Should I pull over and make her have two
babies on the sidewalk?” he replied.
“There aren’t any sidewalks along here. We’d have to find a shady tree or grassy patch,” she said, looking out the window for such places.
“I’m not stopping. Are you out of your mind?” he asked in disbelief. “It’s a baby – babies – not a litter of puppies or something.”
“Well, there are
two.”
“Jessie…I…”
“Okay, okay! Stop making this about you. Jesus, Blake!” Jessie said in a huff.
“About me?” Blake questioned, “You realize you’re telling a woman in labor – our friend
– to stop
having her baby because you
don’t want to see it.”
Still whispering, Jessie fired back, “Wow, Blake, way to make me look shallow.”
“Will you two please
shut up? Better yet, get a room and get it over with! But not until after you drop me off at the hospital because this one is…coming
...” Morgan asserted, ending in a long drawn out grunt.
“Morgan?” Jessie looked back, concerned by the sounds coming from her friend, sorry she had upset her. “Oh, my God…that’s...you’re having…”
“Yes, Jessie. That’s her baby,” Carly said softly while giving Jessie a shut the hell up
look. “One more good push, honey, and you’re going to meet your little one.”
Jessie froze, overcome with emotion. Beck was encouraging his wife, full of excitement, repeating how strong she was and how much he loved her. Morgan, with tears streaming, had a look of both determination and joy as she brought her baby into the world in the backseat of a police SUV.
Facing forward, Jessie closed her eyes at the sound of the new life coming from behind her. The joy, the excitement, and the instant love that filled the space overcame her, though she fought it. That sweet sound of a precious life overwhelmed her in a way she didn’t entirely understand.
Suddenly, she craved it, the bliss and overwhelming elation that followed a sense of fierce unconditional love. It was as haunting as it was desirable. Something she thought she had convinced herself she could never have again, even convinced herself that she didn’t
want it. But, in that moment, she did so badly it hurt.
It wasn’t in the cards for her, though. She never got to hear that
cry. Never would. Knowing that, as her truth, was as painful as witnessing the birth of her dear friend’s baby was joyful.
Jessie was brought back to present by a painful cry – Morgan.
“Looks like baby two is right on sister’s heels, Jessie. I’ll need you to hold this sweet little girl. Her mama’s busy right now,” Carly said with a sense of thrill.
“Ho-hold it? Her? It’s a…girl?” That pain and matched joy coursed through her once again, and she wondered if knowing it had been a boy would have been easier in that moment.
“Jessie, we’re a little busy back here – you need
to hold her…now,
” Carly said.
“Oh…yeah. Sure,” Jessie said, accepting the bundled-up sweatshirt full of baby.
Staring at the baby in her arms, that odd flood of emotions returned, and Jessie couldn’t control it. Holding her left Jessie with a sense of wonder and euphoria, something she didn’t get to experience before
– before, all she got to experience was a sense of loss. Time stood still for a brief moment as Jessie looked at the tiny person she was holding – she was awestruck with both an ache and revelry.
The idea that such a small beautiful thing could represent both loss and life bewildered her. The sense of elation, however, overshadowed the sorrow from nearly a decade before that tried to rear its ugly head. She wouldn’t let it though. Her demon didn’t’ get to ruin this.
“Jessie?” Blake whispered, sliding a hand over her thigh. Concerned by her quick change in mood, he was offering support and comfort, sensing her need.
With a quick swipe of her eyes, she found her way back behind the tough girl façade.
“Do you see this kid? She’s giving me the side-eye and holding her fist up? Who does she think she is?” Jessie teased as the tightly bundled baby had her tiny fist up to her cheek, peeking from only one eye. “I might like this one.”
Blake continued to silently comfort her with a gentle smile and nod. Without a single word, she just knew that he was telling her it would be okay, that she
was okay. That it was okay to feel so torn between emotions that she didn’t understand because he was there to help her through it. And she believed him.
“Something’s…wrong…” Morgan cried.
“It’s okay, just like last time, the baby’s ready…” Carly started before Morgan interrupted her with panic.
“No…not the same…” was all she got out before Morgan started falling in and out of consciousness.
“Morgan? Morgan, stay with me, honey.” Carly’s soft tone was more stern, now. “Tell me what’s going on. What do you feel, sweetie?”
Morgan sat up to push, and by the time she got to the magic number ten and was able to rest, she lost consciousness.
“Blake! I need you to radio ahead to McKenzie Gen – tell them we’re two minutes out and coming in hot with…”
Carly’s words trailed off. Jessie could no longer hear them when she turned around and learned everything she needed to know in that moment. Her dear friend was drained of color, her head being held by her weeping husband asking her to come back to him while Carly had one hand on baby’s partially delivered head and Morgan’s belly, trying to keep her from delivering her equally pale baby.
When they pulled up to the ER, they were met by a large group of hospital staff, rushing out of the automatic doors to deal with them. Morgan was quickly rushed in on a gurney, and left was a small handful of people for the baby. They wanted Jessie to put her in a clear plastic cart that they called a bassinet
– but she wouldn’t put her in it.
Blake attempted to intervene, knowing her response was two sided – part was driven by what was happening around them in that moment; the other was Jessie’s past not letting her put that baby down.
Beck stood in limbo with a tear-stained face as the other cars arrived with the other women. “I-I don’t know who to go with. I don’t know where to go, or what to do.”
Jessie held the baby tighter, her eyes swelling with emotion and her voice shaken, “Go. You go with Morgie and make sure she comes back to us. You hear me? You make
her come back to us and deliver that baby…a healthy
baby. I will stay with this little one. I won’t leave her until you
come for her. Now, go!”
With that, Beck ran through the door, Carly meeting him half way to take him to his wife.
Jessie nodded toward the door at the nurses standing around her. “Go ahead. I’ll carry her in. Lead the way, please.”
“Ma’am,” a young nurse started, “we have protocol. Can you please…”
“Call me ma’am again, and you will be as unhappy about it as I am. Please, don’t make me say bad words…little ears
,” Jessie said with a fake smile and unnatural sugary voice as she nodded to the baby. “I will carry her – I promised to take care of her – so lead the effing way.”