CHAPTER 8
Everly woke up in a semi-dark room in a bed to the right of Granny Lou. She looked around, not yet fully awake, trying to recall all that had happened. She noticed the wild flowers on the table between her and Gran. They were new and much like those that had been delivered before. Again, no card. The thought of someone walking in and her having no recollection sent a chill down her spine. She must have been exhausted, just like Doc said.
A large plastic hospital mug full of what looked like ice water sat on the table too. When she reached for it, the tug in her arm drew her attention to the I.V. in her arm. She traced the line up the pole to the bag it was all attached to – a saline bag – she was being treated for dehydration. She could have drunk and ate more, but between the stress and not feeling well, she hadn’t.
Now she was stuck in a hospital bed, the patient, not the nurse, and the I.V. hurt like a bitch. Lesson learned. Thinking back to what happened, she closed her eyes and let out an annoyed sigh. She had made a complete ass of herself in front of Doc. First by refusing to grab a quick meal with him, something that likely could have prevented all of this. Then by blacking out for the second time in not more than a week’s time. She couldn’t keep up the charade.
“So, when were you going to tell me?” Looking out of the window on the other side of the room, Doc didn’t even turn while addressing her.
“Wha-what do you mean?”
He turned slowly, his hands in his pocket and wearing a long drawn face that told a story of sadness. He knew her secret and that scared the shit out of her. Would he go, or would he stay. She hoped it was stay.
“Ev, stop it. You know what I’m talking about. I ordered labs, but the one test I didn’t think
to run had already been run. I found it in your chart when I was looking for answers from the labs pulled today. Ev…a baby?”
A lone tear drifted down her cheek as she looked down at her fidgeting hands unsure how to answer. “I…I just found out. I needed time to process it. Decide what to do. Then Gran…”
“Decide what to do? Was I going to be a part of that? You aren’t just a little pregnant, Ev – you are well into your second trimester. You’re keeping it…right, Ev? We aren’t talking about…”
“I am. I am keeping it and I was going to tell you. It’s just…”
From sadness to anger, his tone took a sharp turn and it had her on edge. She knew this conversation was going to be hard, but not this hard. Fear had managed to interfere with even this for her, and rather than doing what she knew in her gut was right…she listened to that fear. Regret seemed to be her favorite company when it came to relationships.
“You just what? Say it!”
“I don’t know! Alright? I just…you know what I’ve been through and I was scared!”
“Everly, if you don’t know me by now, and know that I would do anything, anything
for you, then I don’t know why we’re even doing this!”
Everly was speechless. She knew everything he was saying was true. Doc was the kindest most honest man she knew, he was upstanding and she could count on him. She also knew that no matter how much you love someone, or want to love someone, it’s a gamble, and forevers aren’t always real.
“This explains so much. Shit, even in Portland…you didn’t eat much. You were tired. You even got sick! How did I not see this coming?” He raked his hand through his hair in frustration. “I thought you fainted the other day because you were in shock. You were getting sick! I’m not a very good doctor, shit, I missed all the signs. Fuck, this is why you’ve been pushing me away! I thought it was just how you were dealing with Lou being sick, but no…it was me.”
He turned away, his focus back on whatever was outside that window, shaking his head slightly, frustration rolling off of him while he collected himself. This was a side of Doc Everly had yet to see, and it worried her.
“Look, I know losing your parents as a kid, the way you did, had to be awful. Those are wounds that never heal, but you are going to have to find a way to live with them. You’re missing out, Ev…missing out on everything I’m sure they would have wanted for you.”
His words stung. After all, that’s how the truth worked, right? It was full of jagged edges and always hard to swallow, but it was what it was…truth. Somehow she needed to own hers.
“Those tragedies are once in a life time – it’s okay to take a chance. You can love, Ev. You can love me, you can love the baby.”
Doc turned to leave, but not before he finished what he needed
to say, “Nothing bad will happen, I won’t let it. I love our baby already. Nothing could make me happier except you – getting all of you. I love you Ev, I think I’ve loved you since that very first day.”
Turning to the door so he could get some much needed air and a chance to get his head together, he saw that they had an audience in the doorway. Their friends were awkwardly standing there, straight faced and probably shocked. He stopped halfway to the door, turned and walked back to Everly and kissed her on the forehead before he walked out the door.
Of course there was one person willing to crack the awkward moment of deafening silence. Good, bad, or indifferent, you could always count on Jessie for honesty, hard truths, and bad timing.
“Holy shit! Someone’s been playing doctor and got knocked up!”
Divide and conquer was the unspoken mission of the evening. The men, Blake, Colton, and Dawson, followed Doc at a safe distance so he could get it together privately. But, they were nearby if he needed an ear to bend. Filing in around Everly’s bed, Jessie, Sam, and Meg huddled in to congratulate their friend and offer their support. This is what this group did for each other.
Sitting in a waiting room row of chairs while Doc paced the adjacent glass corridor, Blake questioned the men, “Did you smell that back there?”
A couple side-eye glances met his before he clarified the question, “The smell in the room, assholes. I’ve smelled it before, not just in there, but somewhere.”
“It just smells like bleach and hospital to me,” Dawson added, Colton nodding in agreement beside him.
“No, its…something. I can’t put my finger on it.”
Carly, the night nurse in the cardiac unit, walked through the corridor, her arms full of what looked like a lunch cooler, and a bin of baked goods.
Concern and with perhaps a little panic in her voice, she stopped and talked to Doc. “What are you guys doing out here, is Lou okay?”
“Oh, she’s fine,” Doc answered. “Well as fine as she was yesterday. We’re just waiting on the ladies…they’re planning something in there.”
“Oh, good.” she placed a relieved hand on her chest. “I was worried for a second there. Say, while I have you. That man, the one with the harmonica that comes most nights. Is that Evie’s grandfather, or an uncle?”
“Her grandfather passed, and there aren’t any uncles that I’m aware of.” He thought the question was strange but had bigger things on his mind. He wanted to get back to those, so he left well enough alone with Nurse Carly.
“Oh, well, I’ll just have to ask next time. Probably just a friend then, still the new kid in town. I’ll figure out who everyone is eventually. Well, have a good night if I don’t see you on rounds later.”
Doc went back to pacing, Carly walked by with a smile and hello for the guys, and Blake had a sudden inkling that something wasn’t right. He had overheard the quick conversation between Doc and Carly and it didn’t settle well at all. Between the odd smell that came and went, the excessive flowers that couldn’t be traced when he looked into it, and now a mystery man…he had a heaviness in his gut that told him it was time to stay close, and keep eyes on all of his people. Something was happening, and he didn’t like it.
It wasn’t long before the small crowd that stumbled in on Everly’s shocking baby reveal was reduced to one. The other ladies offered their support, congratulations, and hugs for Ev and Gran before gathering up their guys and giving her space. Sam knew better than to leave, though. Sister-like friends, Sam knew Everly better than anyone, and knew she was reeling.
“So, what do you really
think?” Everly questioned, needing hard truths.
“I think you’re going to be a mom
! Ellie and Gavin will be excited, a new cousin!” Sam said, referring to her two children. She tried to find the silver linings while also trying to decide what Everly really needed to hear from her.
“Yeah, I’m sure El will have a list of her favorite names by tomorrow.” Everly laughed.
“Seriously though,” Sam started. “I know this isn’t how you planned things or what you even wanted, but I have to think it’s a sign of some sort.”
“A sign? Really? Have you been sipping from Gran’s flask?”
Sam laughed at the sarcasm, happy to see her sense of humor peeking through. “No, I haven’t, but if you weren’t knocked up, I’d sneak it in here for a few passes.”
“I can’t believe it, Sam. I still can’t believe it. After days of mulling it over, and Doc’s big moment…it still doesn’t feel real.”
“It will, honey. You’ll get used to the idea and before you know it, you’ll be counting the days until you meet the little one. My guess is it will all get real around the first ultrasound. When you see him or her on the screen while they are kicking you inside, you can’t help but feel how real it is.”
“Yeah. I suppose.” She looked at her hands, searching for the next words, when tears ran free and out of control. “I’m scared, Sam. I’m afraid to do this – to screw it up – or worse…”
“Honey, everyone feels that way at some point. You’re going to be a fantastic
mom – you’re already everyone’s favorite aunt. You can do this.”
“And what if something happens?”
“Ev, that fear has nothing to do with what happened to you. Every parent has that worry, love does that, makes you worry. Why won’t you let Doc in? You need him, you’re literally carrying the other half of him.”
“I know. I have been terrible to him. I think I just took him for granted and now…maybe I screwed things up for good. I am really good at that.”
“You guys are good together. Really good. I think you underestimate him a bit. He’s a good guy, it’s obvious that he loves you, and he will make a terrific father.”
Everly smiled, thinking of all that Sam said. Talking about Doc that way, thinking about him in that way, gave her those love drunk butterflies. “Yeah. He is a really good guy. I…I really
like him.”
Laughing at the admission, Sam replied, “I think you more than like
him, but you’ll figure that out. Just let him in. Let him love you, if not for you, then for the baby.”
“I don’t know if I can. When I love people, I lose them.”
“You haven’t lost any of us, and I know you love us. You can do this, Ev. You’re the strongest woman I know, kid.”
Placing her hand on her stomach, Everly said, “How did he not notice before today? This is getting hard to miss. I look fat.”
“Probably because you don’t look fat, you look happy.”
Sam leaned over the edge of the bed Everly was in to give her a hug before leaving. Sam was right, she really did love their little family of friends and they were all safe and fine despite her loving them. Maybe she was
her own worst enemy and making things harder than they needed to be. Maybe, just maybe, this whole loving Doc and having his baby could work out for her and she could have a happily ever after like many of her friends had found.
“She’s right, ya know.” A gravelly voice startled her from the bed next to her.
“Oh my God! Gran!” Everly wrestled the blankets from across her lap and scrambled out of her bed.
She stood at Gran’s bedside, hitting the nurse call button, and began to check vitals. “You’re awake. I can’t believe you’re finally awake!”
Gran didn’t seem herself, but that was to be expected given the tremendous trauma she had been through, so Everly didn’t give it a second thought.
Granny Lou grabbed Everly’s hand and locked stares with her. “I am so proud of you, Evie. So proud. You’re mama and daddy would be too. You’re going to be fine, girl. That Doc of yours will see to it. He’s a keeper, don’t toss that one back, you got it?”
Something odd settled over Everly, a sense of fear, like this was a goodbye, not a hello. “Gran I’ve needed you. I’m so glad you’re back. I’m going to need you when this baby comes. I just…”
“No, honey. You have what you need – Doc and that baby. He’s just waiting for you to realize what he already knows. That boy has forever in his eyes.”
Gran dropped her hand and her head rolled back a bit as she let out a tired sigh.
“So you have
been listening. I knew it.”
“Oh, I’ve heard everything. It’s all sort of mixed up in my head right now though, and I’m not sure why. You just let that boy take care of you though, you’re going to need him, honey. You will need all of them…something…”
“Gran? Are you okay? Tell me what you’re feeling.” Everly began to panic, hitting the nurse’s button over and over and she began to yell for help.
Doc ran into the room, pausing at the doorway, Carly right behind him.
“That sweet music, it never gets old. I remember it like it was yesterday. Willy always played beautiful music.” A smile rested in her expression as her eyes closed like she was falling into a peaceful slumber.
Surrounded by Everly, Doc, and Carly, the machines attached to her began to scream something was wrong. Granny was no longer breathing, and her heart rate was barely traceable. All of the numbers on the monitors were a blur as Everly’s world was crashing down around her…again.
The last thing she remembered as she sat on the edge of her bed was Doc shouting Code Blue
and the code team rushing into the room, surrounding her grandmother. That’s when she crawled back into that place inside herself where nothing, and no one, could reach her.