CHAPTER 20
After putting one of Lou’s frozen casseroles in the oven, Blake reached above the refrigerator and found a bottle of whiskey. It was the good stuff he discussed with Jessie earlier that Lou Shaw had gifted everyone in their little family. Lou was a frugal woman except where her liquor was concerned – she spared no expense – it was medicinal after all.
Blake poured more than a shot in two highball glasses. It was all that he could find, other than a stack of plastic solo cups. Highball glasses were just fine because this was a more than a single shot
kind of night.
Quietly entering Jessie’s room, he looked around and found it empty. Just as he’d hoped. She was in the bathroom, taking her bath. After her reaction to his turn down, he thought it would be safer for both of them if she was indisposed and hiding behind a tub full of bubbles. He didn’t recall any shoes or sharp objects within arm’s reach of the bath when he ran it for her.
“What are you doing in here?” she shouted, quickly pulling the bubbles up to her chest until she realized that would expose something equally intimate. Flustered, she pushed the bubbles back down and tossed a nearby washcloth over her chest. “Get. Out!”
Pulling her vanity chair tub-side, he sat down and handed her the extra glass of whiskey.
“Calm down. I’ve already seen you naked.”
A sharp gasp escaped her. “Is this funny to you? You were just waiting for the right moment – what was it? Me making fun of your purse dog? Or was it that I said you had a stick up your ass? What are you getting even for?”
“What? No. I didn’t do it out of vengeance, it was…self-preservation,” he defended.
Jessie snorted at his excuse. “Self-preservation…you can’t be serious?”
“Jessie, this…” Blake waved a hand between them, indicating whatever it was they were to each other, or had the potential to be. “…can’t happen. It’s too complicated, and you know it. Neither one of us is fit for a relationship, especially with each other.”
“Relationship?” she laughed to save face. “I think you are getting ahead of yourself – since when is just sex
a relationship?”
“Since it could never be just sex
with you,” he fired back quickly, showing an emotional side he typically kept hidden.
Jessie took pause, surprised by his response and watching him drink his two plus shot of whiskey in a single toss. There was no way this was a single. Her bartender seemed to have a heavy hand and blind eye if he thought otherwise.
She splashed him with water to break the awkward silence and push him away because she hadn’t a clue how else to respond. She needed to breathe, and she couldn’t do that with him sitting so close, watching her. As if it wasn’t already obvious, she needed to reconcile what he had just admitted.
Blake stood – slowly removing his clothes – his eyes locked with hers. His clothes had been soaked by her tantrum, each garment falling to the ground in a heavy heap. In all his glory, Blake stood completely nude, hair dripping wet, staring at her.
“Now, we’re even,” he said.
Jessie’s eyes ventured down his perfectly sculpted body, finally landing on what she took as an impressive sign that he was still turned on by her. Fixating on his teasing, hard length, she licked her lips, instinctively.
“Don’t…do that,” he said, watching her mouth crave him. “Don’t.”
“Why not?” Jessie lifted her legs, crossing them as they hung over the edge of the tub. She sat a little higher too, exposing the tops of her breasts, trying to seduce him.
“Because it wouldn’t work. Because I’m watching over you, trying to keep you safe. The rest is just a distraction,” he rebutted.
“I didn’t ask you to, Blake. I don’t need your help…or protection.”
“Like hell you don’t, Jessie.”
Her brow jumped in sync with the shrug of her shoulders that teased a little more of her breasts. “Still doesn’t explain why we can’t…”
“Because Jessie! Because falling in bed with you is falling in love with you. Okay? I…can’t
. I can’t love you. I can’t…love.
”
Jessie’s eyes filled at the emotion in Blake’s voice – Blake didn’t do emotion, ever. He was pouring his heart out to her the best he could, and she didn’t know what to do with it.
In a near whisper, a single tear fell when she asked, “What happened to you, Blake?’
“Life. Life happened.” As quickly as it had appeared, the emotion was gone, and steely, stone cold Blake was back.
“I don’t…understand,” she said, trying to figure out what he wanted from her.
“Good. When you’re ready to tell me your secrets, Jessie…I’ll tell you mine.”
Grabbing a towel from a nearby rack, he tossed it over his shoulder rather than around his waist. Then, he gathered up his wet clothes from the floor and walked out of the room.
“Dinner should be done any minute,” he said over his shoulder.
He was gone, and she was left with her thoughts. She felt wounded for him, felt the ache he was carrying. Jessie was just given something no one else had, and that was insight into who Blake really was. She didn’t know the source of his pain but knew he carried it. So much of what made Blake Cooper a mystery now made sense.
Somehow, she related to him, though she couldn’t say exactly how. Something in his pain was recognizable, tangible, and it touched her. Was it an admission of who he was or an invitation to share her own pain with him?
If she had to guess, it was both. He wanted to open up to her but wanted her to open up to him as well. Could she do that though? Did she want to know his story that badly? Telling him her secret, her fear, would put him at risk, and she didn’t feel she had a right to do that. Blake wanted to help her, sure, but he didn’t know what was at stake, or he might not.
One thing she knew for certain was that she wanted to help him carry whatever burden he was haunted by. She wanted to help him. She wanted to protect him. She wondered, now, who was protecting who?
She lifted her glass of whiskey from the ledge it was resting on and tossed it back, feeling the burn against her already raw throat. The heat was intense but invited as it flowed through her, loosening up every ache. Especially the one in her heart.
Jessie dressed and joined Blake in the kitchen where he was wearing low slung gray sweats and nothing else. She assumed he wasn’t wearing anything underneath either, which made the lightweight oversized t-shirt she was wearing feel like three layers of flannel – he was hot
. Why hadn’t she noticed just how
hot until now?
They each sat in silence, eating their meal, catching each other in the occasional glance over the rim of a glass or between bites. When Jessie was done, she rinsed and put her dish in the dishwasher then quickly cleaned up what was left of dinner. He was an efficient cook, though, leaving nearly nothing for her to clean up.
Ready to play her last hand for the night, making her way to the hallway off the back of the dining room, she let out an exaggerated yawn to gain Blake’s attention. When she was sure she had it, feeling his heated stare boring holes right through her shirt, she stretched her arms well over her head in another exaggerated move. Her shirt rose with her outstretched arms and exposed the last thing she wanted Blake to see before going to sleep. Her bare ass.