CHAPTER 25
The next morning passed in a whirlwind of commotion. After being discharged from the hospital, Jessie left with Blake, albeit begrudgingly. They stopped briefly at Colton and Meg’s and picked up Flea Bag and Baby to take home with them. Home – Jessie didn’t even know what that was anymore after seeing what was left of hers.
A special investigator was called in, given the nature of the fire, and because there had been more fires – odd fires – around town. As Police Chief, it was Blake’s duty to assist in the investigation; after all, they were looking for a potential arsonist. But, where he curbed protocol was keeping the suspect, on his
radar, to himself.
Sure, there had been a handful of fires that are typical for the season and tourist traffic, but more often than not, he suspected the rest were the handy work of a psychopath who Blake was desperate to find. Jason Bolton.
Jessie had packed a bag of clothes while they rummaged through her mostly smoke damaged home. Clothes could be washed and likely salvaged – her garage and classic muscle car she had been restoring could not.
The fire was mostly electrical and started in several key places throughout the home, generating a domino like effect that traveled through the house, creating a smoke-filled box. It would have eventually ignited, like the garage and attic, but help had arrived in time.
The attic space above the garage went up in flames. It went up quickly, efficiently and became hot enough to destroy a car, before reaching the house’s main structure. The investigator suspected an accelerant of sorts, given the damage, but testing the materials left could take weeks, even months, to identify.
That’s where Carter Landry came in. His specialty in the military mirrored Luke’s, having to do with ballistics and explosives with everything in between. Which, by proxy, included fire origin and cause. Carter also had access to more advanced resources with time sensitive turn around. He would know, within days, what would take this other guy months.
They knew Jason was around, tormenting Jessie, obsessing over her. This had to be him, too. He was toying with her and maybe the rest of them if he had discovered their visit to his hideaway. Jessie knew it. Blake knew it. But neither was discussing it with the other.
Jessie hadn’t said two words to Blake since asking him to leave her hospital room the previous night. She felt betrayed and probably embarrassed, though she shouldn’t. Emotions. That was something neither Blake nor Jessie claimed to do – but it was painfully and awkwardly obvious that they did.
It had been hours since they arrived at Blake’s cabin. It was rustic and quaint, buried deep within the woods. It had a lovely calming landscape, sitting just off the bank of Bear Creek, right outside of town. Blake lived modestly – no T.V. – just shelves and shelves of books. He liked to learn new things, drown himself in new and even senseless knowledge – he was always studying something.
He sat on his brown leather couch, watching her through the oversized window that overlooked his front porch where she was sitting, staring at the creek. Jessie hadn’t spoken or even moved from her spot in the rocking chair. She just sat there and rocked with both Flea Bag and Baby cozied into her lap.
Blake couldn’t take it anymore. His intentions had been good even if the manner with which he’d obtained the details hadn’t been. He knew it was technically abuse of authority, and he took advantage of resources that were in place for security, not personal agendas.
In his case, he’d been running from his own past, trying to prevent history from repeating itself as he attempted to control fate. All bad business, despite his good heart. What he did was selfish, really, and he knew that. Life happened, but he didn’t want it to happen
to him again – hence, keeping tabs on everyone he cared about.
He was completely broken, emotionally. He tried his damnedest not to love because loss was pain free that way. Pain free but not without consequences, he was learning. He was also learning that love was unavoidable. Which in turn meant heartache was unavoidable, too.
No matter how cold and expressionless he was – and how determined he was to control how he felt about their little family of friends – he loved them and loved them hard. Jessie was similar, completely emotionally bankrupt, desperate to keep everyone at arm’s length, but for different reasons.
In her case, if you didn’t love anyone – they couldn’t let you down or disappoint you. Like her father, the preacher, had. She didn’t really blame her mother and siblings for disappointing her; they felt whatever the preacher told them to. Jessie had at one point, too.
But when her life took the ultimate plot twist, and her faith was her only strength to see her through the darkness of her pain and torture – her father turned on her. He blamed her – called what had happened to her sin’s wrath
. Jessie wasn’t supposed to live – none of the other women did at the hands of the campfire killer. She got away. To her, that was not sin’s wrath but God’s grace. After the trial, she left to rebuild her life and never turned back.
They had each come from drastically different circumstances, but their outcomes mirrored one another – two broken souls. As much as they were at odds with each other, especially in that moment, they had a connection despite the angsty relationship. It was all part of their individual efforts to control love and pretend not
to love anyone.
Fortunately for them, their close-knit family of friends saw through the façade and loved them for who they were, even if they couldn’t say it back…ever.
Unbearable. Watching Jessie from afar, knowing he was partly responsible for what she was feeling, gutted him. Knowing he
was the one who disappointed her this time – there wasn’t a word for that. There was only one way to make this right – and earn her trust back. He needed to show his cards.
Blake grabbed a fresh ice-pack for Jessie’s swollen hand before making his way outside and taking the rocking chair next to her. Baby raised her head but ultimately dropped it, choosing to stay and comfort Jessie. He wondered if somehow his dog knew Jessie needed her more at the moment and that it was his fault she needed the comfort to begin with.
“Thank you,” she said, exchanging the now melted icepack for the fresh one Blake had brought outside.
“I, uh…I lost my family,” Blake said in a low sullen voice. He probably could have prepared her better for what he was about to say, but he knew it was better to get to the point before he lost his nerve.
Jessie gave Blake her full attention with a surprised stare. Nobody knew about Blake’s past, other than he had some sort of highly specialized military or government background, but that was mostly assumed by his actions and behaviors. They also knew that something, at some point, had broken him.
He leaned forward with his elbows to his knees and weaved his fingers together. He didn’t look at her…he couldn’t, or he might stop talking altogether.
Choking on his words, his voice cracked from sketchy nerves when he began by saying, “I had been on a mission in Bosnia – highly covert, in a hot zone. Not even the pentagon knew we were there – that’s how classified it was. It was a collaboration of several nations, but it was our team that was activated to enforce international law under U.N. protection. Not the kind of stuff reported on CNN.
“It was supposed to be another in and out,” he said, referring to the type of mission. Blake paused, taking in a deep breath. “An advance team had eyes on our mark, and extraction was our job. We’d done this a hundred times, should have been a quick four day turn around. More time traveling and debriefing than anything.”
Jessie sat silent, stilled her rocking chair, engrossed in what he was about to tell her. He had mentioned family
.
“It was a trap. We were double crossed and walked into a war zone. Since this was covert ops, we didn’t have the benefit of reinforcements sitting out in an ocean or on the other side of a border somewhere for support. We were off the
grid or under the
radar, whatever you want to call it. There wasn’t anyone on standby, ready and waiting to assist. We were on our own and had to fight our way out. Lost half my team that night, including Bill Traynor.”
“Traynor,” Jessie said quietly. “Logan’s dad.”
“He took my bullet – or bullets.” Blake shook his head as if he didn’t believe it himself. “That was supposed to be our last mission. We were both retiring, even talked about working in private security with the O’Reillys together.
“I couldn’t retire after that,” he went on. “We had a mission to complete for our fallen brothers.”
“The family that you lost,” Jessie said.
Blake finally looked up at her. The emotion in his eyes was raw and laced with pain. His jaw opened then closed, but he didn’t speak. He finally just shook his head no
.
Jessie was confused. If that wasn’t the family he lost, then…
“Oh, my God,” she said with a gasp, her hand covering her mouth as her eyes rimmed with tears.
Nodding his head, he knew she was catching on, grateful for it because it was too hard to say. He never talked about them…the pain was unbearable.
“Rather than come home for good, we were sent home to bury our brothers while we waited for new orders to come down. As far as the public was concerned, we were burying fallen soldiers, the result of failed maneuvers during a training exercise. But the families knew the truth, got their folded flag, medals for bravery and whatever else the military could come up with. Of course, the pay-out for what they lost their lives over was insulting.”
“So, your family…”
“My wife
didn’t want me to go back. I’d dabbled in danger long enough, she had said. Our kids needed their dad.”
“Dad? You have a wife and…kids?” Jessie couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It was almost like they hadn’t known Blake Cooper at all, but it certainly started to explain a lot
.
“I did
,” he said, staring into the distance.
“We got called out, finished our mission and flew back to base, riding a high. We did it for our guys; we celebrated them. When we got back to the base, though, I was met by a chaplain. He flew home with me.”
Tears were flowing as Jessie found herself overwhelmed with sentiment. It was a shock to learn he had a family, but it was painful to watch him wear his grief as he exposed his wounds. As his story progressed, she dreaded its ending.
“He, uh…” Blake laughed, turning his head her direction, but he wasn’t really looking at her. He was lost in his own haunted mind. “Made sure my weapons, issued and personal, were not on my person. You know, I always wondered why he did that. Had someone lost their shit before and threaten him? Kill the messenger or whatever?”
Jessie shook her head and shrugged when his gaze affixed, and she felt his stare bore holes into her as if he expected her to have the answer to such an insignificant question. Was he stalling, she wondered? Was this becoming too painful? She knew the chaplain didn’t accompany you for shits and giggles, and in the almost decade she had known him, there had been no mention or sign of a wife or children.
“So, you flew home…” she coached him, encouraging him to finish.
“Longest ten-hour flight of my life. We were halfway through the flight when the chaplain started talking about life, purpose, God’s will.
I finally just asked. Was it my wife?” Blake’s brows raised in surprise, as if hearing his own words was shocking. “He didn’t answer, so I asked again. Was it my boys?”
“The Chaplain said he was sorry to inform me, but my wife and boys were in a tragic accident. He said it just like that too…tragic accident
. There was nothing anyone could do – it happened too fast, and they were killed…instantly
. That’s how I ended up here, in McKenzie. Declan used to talk about it all the time…it just seemed like the place to…go.
I packed up my clothes and left everything else behind for her family.” Tears spilled over as the grief Blake had been holding onto for so long finally found its way out. His bottom lip quivered, prompting him to swipe his palm over his face, clearing it of all emotion. And, as the tears stopped, his expression returned to its typical steely state.
An audible sob escaped Jessie as she shook her head, face tear stained. “I am…so sorry, Blake. So, so sorry. I didn’t know.”
“No one does. Just you
now. Now, you know my
secret.” A forced smile broke through his pained expression before he stood to walk away. He stopped, standing next to her, and placed a hand on her shoulder. Not a word was exchanged, but the emotion in that moment and those leading up to it created a permanent pact between them, an unbreakable bond that each would forever treasure. With a gentle squeeze he moved on.