CHAPTER 23
Jessie had been less than thrilled to wake up to a babysitter – a new
babysitter. She had barely gotten used to Blake hovering, and now she had Captain America parked on her couch.
At least, he thought to leave his goodbye note on her nightstand, so she didn’t do anything embarrassing, like walk around with her bare ass hanging out. The thought of flashing Blake, again, gave her a deep thrilling tingle. Flashing Logan – sweet, boy-next-door type – would be devastating for both of them. She giggled at the humiliation she likely would have earned had Blake left her to her own devices.
That giggle turned to a low groan when she recalled the final few words he had written. She had been restless in her sleep, so much so that she must have tossed her blankets because Blake said next time her bare ass was staring him in the face, he’d smack it, not cover it back up
. Now she’d have to sleep naked and see what that would earn her.
It had been a long day of nothing. Jessie felt like a prisoner with her new bodyguard following her everywhere – he even knocked on the bathroom door to check on her…twice
. Logan’s loyalty to Blake ran leagues deep, and he wouldn’t disappoint him. His admiration bordered idolization to the point Logan had become a mini Blake. It was kind of cute and also kind of sad.
Aside from a quick visit with Morgan and the babies at Pinecrest Ranch, she had been home. She didn’t want to explain her shadow to anyone. Morgan was so distracted by the joys of motherhood and bought the excuse that it had to do with smoke inhaled the previous day and Blake being overprotective. Everyone bought that one because they’d all been under his watch at some point or another.
Jessie would feel Blake’s wrath if she ditched Boy Wonder
. Hell, she couldn’t even leave behind Blake’s dog, who was left in her care by default when Blake left in the middle of the night – or morning – whichever it had been. So, Baby went to the ranch with her, or Jessie would return to a neurotic puppy breakdown. Blake would pay for that one, too.
Evening finally settled in, and Carly had stopped by Jessie’s with pizza on her way to check on a patient she’d become fond of at the hospital. It was under the guise of checking on Jessie, but it was blatantly obvious she was really there to see Logan. They had become inseparable over the past several months, which Jessie found equal parts adorable and obnoxious.
Jessie had given them privacy, escaping to the kitchen to deal with left over pizza when it was time for Carly to leave. When she made her way back out to the living room, she found Logan exactly where she’d left him, at the edge of her couch. He was leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees, with a shit eating grin on his face while he texted. Given his facial expressions and low quiet sighs and grunts, the content of said texts were pretty hot, and she didn’t think it was the weather.
“Gross! On my
couch?” she asked.
Logan jumped to his feet, startled by her presence as much as her scolding. He looked around, trying to determine what he missed. “What? What happened? You okay?”
“I know what you’re doing, and it’s gross,” she fired back.
He blushed, stumbling over his words, “What…what do you, uh…think I’m doing
?”
“Imagining Carly on my
couch while you text her all of the things you would like to do to her,” Jessie fired with a smarmy grin.
“No, no, no…” he defended. “I’m not. I’d never do that with you…right…there.”
“Chill. Just…go. I’m seriously fine. Go home and wait for Carly.” Jessie snorted, pleased to have flustered him.
“No. No way. I promised Coop…”
Jessie rolled her eyes. “Your idol worship isn’t becoming of you. What could he really do? I mean are you always going to be his…bitch?”
“First, he told me you’d say that.” He snickered, crossing his arms as he stood. “Second, it’s respect, not idol worship
. He’s been my…mentor
.”
“Idol…” she grinned, knowing she was pissing him off.
“Mentor
since I can remember. He’s the best man I know, and I owe him everything. When my dad…died, Blake kept me straight. So, he needs me to hang out here? I’m happy to do it.”
“Good Lord, you’re a goner. Do you like…shave his ass for him in the hard to reach places too?” She was trying really hard to get him out the door so she could have a little privacy.
“Shave his…fuck off, Jessie. You’re not getting rid of me.” He sat back down at the edge of the couch and went back to texting.
“Well, I’m going to bed then. I’m not sitting here
while you do that
. It feels like a threesome, and neither one of you is my type,” she informed.
“No, your type
won’t be back until morning. Good night, Jessie.” The grin on Logan’s face told her he was quite pleased with the comeback opportunity that she’d left wide open.
“Fuck off, Traynor,” Jessie fired back, flipping him off as she headed down the hallway to her room. She called for her cat, Flea, but he chose snuggling with Blake’s dog, Baby, and Captain frickin’ America, on her couch.
With a final eye roll before closing her door for the night, she said, “Traitor.”
It was strange. Though she protested Blake’s presence at every turn, his absence left her in an odd funk. Did she really miss him? Blake was certainly easy on the eyes with his broad muscular physique, dark as night hair that was high and tightly cut so that it somehow made his chiseled features and strong chin stand out.
He was beautiful to look at, the kind of guy who could catch your breath and make your heart skip a beat, just walking by. A glimpse of his round hard ass was the real drool worthy treat. Pulling the covers up high and hugging her pillow tight, she let her mind wander to her favorite feature of all, the one she wanted to see more of, feel even.
The real panty melting feature Blake possessed was one she didn’t think many had the privilege of seeing – but she did when he took off his clothes in her bathroom the night before. Sitting at eye level, from the bath where she lay, was a beautiful part of Blake that she hoped to dream about all night. If she were honest with herself, the desire went beyond fantasy and just dreaming about it. It was more about having it – every – single – night.
Blake was right – there would be no going back if they took their relationship to bed. Though she told him it was just sex, she knew it would be more. When Blake said falling in bed with her would mean falling in love with her, the first thing that crossed her mind when she considered his words and reconciled the meaning behind them was – touché
.
For the first time in weeks, she wasn’t afraid to fall asleep. A typical night consisted of fighting sleep, working herself to an exhaustion that would allow her to sleep so deeply she could stave off the nightmares that lingered on any other night. Tonight, however, she welcomed sleep, hoping it would be full of Blake filled dreams. It was also welcome because it led to a new day – the day he’d be back from wherever he was.
Despite danger looming all around her and the previous day’s subliminal threats painted on the burning church walls – she felt safe and content – she couldn’t remember the last time she felt such a way. She finally trusted someone. Maybe even with her heart.
There was this thing called Murphy’s Law – anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. This guy Murphy and his proverbial laws tended to visit Jessie – often – especially when her guard was down. Some called it a myth, but she believed it to be a curse.
At some point in her life, Jessie must’ve pissed off karma because she was who sent Murphy Jessie’s way. Or, maybe Jessie’s father, the preacher, was right, and she was a disappointment. The shit show that was her life simply validated that – she was a real sinner, deserving of His divine wrath – like daddy-preacher said.
She didn’t think there was anything divine about it, and she had a better idea of whose wrath it was instead of her father. It was the wrath of a sick man who may as well be Satan himself. All Jessie had been guilty of was loving the wrong man – hence the curse. Now, she hoped to absorb a different kind of wrath, from a different man – one who would protect her, respect her, and even love her. She fell asleep thinking about that very man…Blake
.
When Jessie’s semi-erotic dream of a happy life – happy sex life anyway – shifted to smoke and flames, she was reminded of just how unlucky she was and why every day was a fight for her. She couldn’t escape it. Couldn’t escape him.
Jason Bolton took everything from her ten years ago and continued to daily, even in her dreams that quickly became nightmares. It was a reminder of why she couldn’t let anyone in, ever, because Jason would continue to invade her life and would hurt them to hurt her.
She tossed and turned as her joy filled night turned to terror, and she found herself running from the fury of fire – the devil’s wrath – as she often did. Just like before – Blake couldn’t save her; protecting her, even in her own sleep filled fantasy turned nightmare, cost him his life, and whatever was left of her already scarred heart, shattered. The flames consumed her mind, and the smoke continued to choke her.
She heard her name and continued to run from it. He wouldn’t catch her – not if she could help it. But when the voice got closer and became familiar, she stopped. Logan
?
No longer able to see through her smoke-filled mind, she finally startled awake, escaping the blaze. Or had she? Wide awake, she continued to choke, gasping for air. She looked around her room, no longer filled with light from the night’s sky. Jessie was blinded by burning darkness as her eyes watered profusely in response to the blistering heat. It wasn’t just a dream; she was surrounded by the blistering hell she’d been running from.
“Jessie!” Logan was on the other side of her bedroom door, pounding on it while he screamed her name.
“Logan?” she cried, “Logan, help me!”
He continued to bang against the door. “I can’t get in!”
Why? Why couldn’t he get in? Though she was wide awake, she had an odd sensation that fantasy had transcended to reality, and she was living the very nightmare she had just awoke from. Or was she? Could this really be happening? Was it really Logan on the other side of that door, or was her mind playing tricks on her again. The fear consumed her to a point where her instincts as a firefighter were paralyzed.
“Jessie, get to the damn door,” he yelled between coughs as he continued to beat on the door.
The loud bangs sent her mind back to that place, all those years ago, when she had also been paralyzed with fear. Paralyzed because she had been drugged and held against her will. Visions of the fire – a campfire – flashed through her mind. Logan’s voice was replaced with the sound of Jason Bolton’s and every word replaced with the foul things Jason had taunted her with – the things he promised to do
to her. Most of which he did do to her.
Jessie screamed a blood curdling sound that she didn’t even recognize as her own. Unable to tell the difference between past and present, what was real and what wasn’t, she had finally broken. She was lost and losing her battle.
“Jeessiee!” Frantic screams came from the other side of the door while the banging sent her over the edge.
She wanted to believe it was Logan, but it could be her mind playing tricks on her. More illusions. She grabbed her head, fisting her own hair, and rocked back and forth as she gasped for air between choking coughs.
When the crashing sound of breaking glass cut through the air, she ran for the door – relying on memory with each step through her pitch-black room. The door was stuck – she couldn’t get away.
“No!” she shouted, pounding her fists against the door. “No! Help me! Somebody help me!”
When large hands and a bulky frame grabbed her from behind, she let out a sharp scream and began to fight. Something she hadn’t been able to do last time. After several swift blows, hard enough to crack her knuckles, a sharp bolt of pain raced up her arm. The sound of flesh against flesh motivated her – every grunt or groan from her would-be attacker emboldened her.
Fighting hard, she continued to yell, chanting not, not again, you can’t hurt me again,
and stop.
She was stronger this time, smarter. Even if the fire and smoke consumed them both, he would go down in tortured pain at her hands, just as he deserved. She would go out a fighter
.
The remnants of her haunting past subsided with her new found courage and brought her back to a foggy present that made the man’s voice behind her just as clear as her mind. The man she had been fighting.
“Jessie, stop! Jessie…it’s me, Logan. Stop!” came the voice that brought her tight fists to a halt, “We need to get out of here. Please…stop.”
Logan. What had she done? Petrified now by her own actions as the result of her broken mind, she slid down the door and sobbed, overwhelmed by her circumstance.
“Oh, no you don’t,” he said, “We’re getting out of here – alive
.”
Logan lifted her from the floor and held her over his shoulder while he tried the door from the inside, hopeful he wouldn’t have to maneuver her back through that broken window he had entered.
“It was fucking locked, Jessie,” he said, “Jesus, I’m on your side!”
“I didn’t…” she paused between coughs. How the hell had it been locked? “Stop, the fire…”
“It’s mostly smoke. I couldn’t see flames inside or out. Hold on,” he said, forging forward through the house.
Each pulled their shirt over their faces in an attempt to filter the air they breathed, but it offered little to no relief as they choked their way to the closest exit – the back door that was off the kitchen, at the end of the long hall Logan was navigating blind. Once outside, he rounded the house, following the red glowing lights that showed him the way through blurred vision. Incoming sirens alerted them more help was coming – they were going to need it.
Once out front, Logan set Jessie on her feet before folding over, hands on his knees, in an endless coughing fit. Jessie mirrored his activity until she realized the rescue wasn’t over.
“Flea Bag and Baby!” she shouted, stumbling toward the house, her vision foggy from the irritation the smoke had caused.
Logan grabbed her. “Oh, no you don’t.”
She fought his grip, but he was stronger. “But, I have to get…”
“I promised Blake. I promised.” He fought back.
Jessie began to cry as Logan guided her to the nearby ambulance where Dawson and Carigan went to work, flushing their eyes and giving them oxygen.
“I…I…” Jessie began to panic. “Can’t breathe.”
The last thing she remembered was Colton Sparks, her partner, walking out the front door with Baby and Flea Bag under each arm. Then, the world did a quick spin before it all went black.