Chapter 13 - Vivian
The next two days were a mess of meetings, meals, and a lot of sex with Carter. Once we gave in to that first time, my body was hungry for him. I think we had sex every way possible and maybe even a few ways that I wasn’t familiar with.
Every time that we finished, I’d shut down and go to sleep. I didn’t know what to say or do and I wasn’t ready to admit my feelings for him. I wasn’t ready to tell Carter that he was Mason’s father, not like this.
We headed to the airport to go home. I felt conflicted. I couldn’t wait to see Mason. But then I also didn’t want to leave this bubble that I’d been living in with Carter where everything was encompassed into a hotel room. I closed my eyes once we were on the plane. I was tired.
I felt Carter holding my hand as I dozed and smiled at the idea of this all working out. It was a great thought but there was so much to consider. When we landed, we collected our luggage and made our way to the limo.
I glanced down at my left hand. The ring that lied to everyone about what we were to one another shimmered in the late afternoon sun. “Want this back?” I asked as we approached the car, holding up my hand. Everyone had congratulated us, toasted us, and told us how perfect we were together all weekend and I felt dejected at letting that go.
“It looks great on your hand,” Carter said, seeming to consider his answer for a moment before shrugging. “Keep it. It wasn’t a big purchase. Wear it if you need to get away from anybody.” His look told me that he didn’t want me to belong to anybody else.
“Okay,” I agreed as we slipped into the car. I was surprised at his confession that the ring wasn’t a big purchase. It was stunning, with a generous center diamond and several small ones flanking it. It was breathtaking but not gaudy. I stole a glance at it as we got settled into the car, knowing that I was going to miss wearing it all day. I slipped it off and tucked it into my purse carefully before looking at him, seeing the stricken expression on his face. “Are you okay?” I asked him. He nodded quickly and gave me a small smile.
“Fine. Sure. We’ll drop you off first,” he said, sounding all business. We drove in silence as I played back the past few days in my head. When we slept together, it was like making love and I wanted to believe that it felt like that for him as much as it did for me. I had loved Carter in high school and I loved him now. It had never quite faded away and my heart broke with every year that passed that he didn’t know that Mason was his son. I wasn’t ready to tell him, though. I didn’t know whether he wanted a son in his life.
He dropped me off and scooted over to me before I opened the door. Carter kissed me softly, sweetly sucking on my lip as I smiled at him. “I had a great weekend, Vivian. I’d like to keep seeing you.”
“No fake intentions?” I asked. He chuckled and shook his head before brushing his lips against mine again.
“None. I just want you in my life again. I didn’t realize how much I missed you.” Carter pulled away and looked into my eyes as I felt my willpower draining from my body.
“I’d like that,” I agreed, getting out of the car and smiling at him. I walked to my building and unlocked my door, rolling in my suitcase as I thought of my son. My love for him overwhelmed me and I hurried over to Lainie’s to get him. Mason was watching a movie when Lainie opened the door for me. He looked happy and I felt a sense of peace fill me as he ran over to me for a big hug.
I longed to tell him about his dad. I wanted him to meet Carter and see that he had a good role model but now wasn’t the time. I just needed to be a mother now and sort through this mess. I asked Mason to tell me all about the past days. Lainie cooked us up some chicken and salad and we ate as we talked and laughed together. After dinner, Mason and I went home. I was looking forward to a normal day with him tomorrow, but I was also nervous about going to work, to meet Carter again in the office.
I read to Mason before he fell asleep. I made my way over to the kitchen and pulled the ring out of my purse, bringing it to the couch to look at it. I wondered what it might have been like if Carter was a part of my life, married to me and being a father to Mason.
I let myself drift into the fantasy world for a bit before I took the ring into my room and tucked it safely away into a small jewelry box. I undressed for bed and realized how lonely it was not sleeping in Carter’s arms tonight. I cried a little as I thought back to our trip, so unsure of what was to come now that we were back in New York.
I slept poorly, getting up late to get ready for work and Mason off to school. I chose some simple gray slacks and a silk purple shirt that my mom had gotten me last time we went shopping. It was a bit casual, but I didn’t have any official meetings today.
I got to work and walked into my office to see a vase of pink lilies and a cup of coffee waiting for me on my desk. I paused as I stared at it, lost in thought until Carter cleared his throat behind me. “Oh my God. Did you do this?” I asked as I turned to him and looked into his handsome face.
“I did. I wanted to brighten up your morning and prove to you that I want more with you,” he replied before kissing me softly. My body burned for him all over again. I returned the kiss, closing my eyes as we extended it for a few moments. He pulled away and looked at me regretfully. “We need to compile a report about the weekend today,” he sighed.
“I figured as much,” I replied with a smile, feeling energized as I saw the warmth in his eyes.
“We’ll go to lunch after that if you’d like,” he said.
Exhilaration filled me and I felt like a teenager but I managed to nod calmly. I turned on my computer and started typing the report, him by my side. We got through it easily, but there were a lot of looks shared in the process and I knew that I had a stupid smile on my face. I hoped that all this wasn’t in vain and I’d end up with my heart in pieces…again.
We went to a pizzeria for lunch and enjoyed the buffet of salad and pizza while I tried to adjust to this life of eating out and fancy cars. I didn’t know how to handle any of this. When we went back to the office, I finished some pending tasks before it was time to go home. Carter kissed me and asked me to dinner the following night. I agreed.
Every day got better with his sweet gestures. There were more flowers, text messages, coffee, and meals. I could see the curiosity in Carter’s eyes whenever I mentioned Mason, which I did as little as possible, but he never asked me anything. I left it at that.
The dinners were romantic and long. We’d talk about high school and I asked him if he missed hockey. He said he did, but that he had season passes for the Rangers every season. He told me I should go with him this year since he had a block of four seats for every game and maybe Mason could come along too.
Mason. My son and his son.
He told me that he was falling for me again in the next couple of weeks and I knew that I was completely in love with him again. There had been nobody in my life since Carter. I knew that he’d been a player, I had read the stories online, but I pushed that out of my mind. I was here now and he wanted me. Eventually, he’d know the truth about Mason and hopefully want him as well. I just needed a little more time to get used to all of this.
It was the third week of our dating and working together. We were going through another report when Carter said he needed more coffee and got up to get us some. He was just stepping out of the office when his phone chimed. “Can you see if that’s work for me?” He looked back at me as I nodded and reached for the sleek device with a silly smile.
I was so in love with him.
I glanced at the screen and my face fell.
What’s going on with your PA? You haven’t told me much about her, Carter. Do you owe me money for a change? Did you lose a bet over a woman? Who’s in the lead for our fuck list competition now, buddy?
A bet? What bet? I sat back as I read the message again. Slowly, the realization hit me. I was Carter’s PA. Carter was using me. He was still a player. My heart exploded as I sucked in a sob, dropping the phone to the carpet.
I heard footsteps and looked up to see a confused Carter standing in the doorway. “What’s wrong?” he asked me. I stood up and took a ragged breath.
“I was a bet?” I demanded, pointing at his phone. His face paled. “Screw you, Carter. We had the past and I thought that I could trust you but all of this was for money? Well, I hope it was worth it. I am asking for a transfer as soon as possible.”
I walked into my office and gathered my things before walking out. I needed to go home and cry this out of my system before I dealt with it here in the building. I lowered my face as I walked, feeling people’s eyes on me. I knew that there was talk about Carter and me, and I couldn’t calm down enough to stop crying. I thought the rumors were based on some truth and refused to let them bother me. The women were just jealous was all.
Now I knew that I was nothing more than a game to him.