Chapter Nine
It was midnight before Logan fell asleep nestled beside Jace, and the Alpha carried his son to the tent Amanda had set up for the two of them. Amanda sighed, stretching her feet towards the low-burning fire. This was her favorite time of camping: it was dark in the woods around her, and the fire was at the point where it was more smoldering coals than flame. The stars were so bright in the sky that she could see thousands of them.
"You just can't see the stars like this in town, or even at the farm," she sighed, staring up through the trees at the beautiful sight above them.
"It is pretty," Clarissa agreed. She smiled at Jace when he came back to sit next to her.
"Did you find the person that took the photos of Logan at the amusement park?" Amanda asked, still staring at the stars.
"Yeah. It was a journalist wanna be who thought that it was his big break." Jace shook his head. "Just a coincidence that he happened to be there the same time as us and overheard our conversation. He's a member of the pack, too. I'm still going to sue him to make sure that all the others out there get the message, but he seems like a good kid otherwise."
Amanda snorted. No doubt Jace was going to pay the kid's tuition for a journalist course. He was that kind of man.
"And you offered to help him out some way, didn't you?" Clarissa asked, laughing.
"Uh… yeah." Jace chuckled. "Am I that obvious?"
Amanda raised her head. "Yes."
Jace shrugged.
"So I have a question for the two of you," Clarissa said. She smiled at the two of them, her stance relaxed. "Why aren't you together?"
Amanda's hands went cold. She grabbed the stick she'd been using to stir the fire and poked around, watching Jace out of the corner of her eye. What had he said or done to prompt that question from his girlfriend?
"It's obvious that you two are still madly in love with each other. What I don't get is why after all these years, you can't just admit that you belong with each other. You," she pointed at Amanda, "just tell him that you love him. And you," she smiled at Jace. "Do the honorable thing and break up with me so you can be with your mate."
"But I'm not his mate," Amanda blurted. "If I was, he wouldn't have broken up with me—"
"When he was a teenager, you mean?" Clarissa gave her a severe look. "Everybody is stupid at eighteen."
"I graduated at seventeen," Jace muttered. "But she's right, Amanda. I was an idiot for breaking up with you. I could have just as easily been at the place where I am right now if I hadn’t."
"With a baby?" Amanda shook her head. "It's why I didn't tell you about Logan. You needed the freedom for your education."
"No." Jace tugged his hair, a nervous tick of his. "I didn't."
"Yes, you did."
"No. The first three months I could hardly do any schoolwork because I missed you so much. It would have been hard with a baby, yeah, but we would have made it work."
"I'm going to go back to the city tomorrow," Clarissa interrupted. "I'll release a statement that we broke up because I'm pregnant with another man's baby."
Amanda's eyes widened and Jace's jaw dropped. Both spluttered, but Clarissa shook her head, still smiling. It was like she was enjoying this.
"I'm not pregnant."
Jace's shoulders relaxed. "Then why are you going to say you are?"
"Because in the big scheme of things, it doesn't matter what people think about me. I have a job offer up in Alaska, which is what I've always wanted, but it won't be enough for the townfolk to forgive you, Amanda, for being with the man you should be with." Clarissa shook her head, a brief look of anger crossing her face. "They'll blame you for breaking up the 'perfect' union even though it should be obvious to everyone that you two are mates."
Amanda and Jace looked at each other. Her heart pounded. All these years she forced herself not to hope while it broke her heart not to be with him. She always thought she was just a pathetic girl to keep pining for the high school boyfriend who broke up with her. The thought that they were mates often occurred to her, but she stubbornly refused to believe it.
"My indiscretions will keep the public eye off of you for a while," Clarissa continued. "And hopefully, it will be enough that the pack will start accepting you as their Alpha's mate. In a few months, I'll announce that I had a miscarriage."
"You shouldn’t have to lie and ruin your own reputation," Jace said, taking Clarissa's hand in his. "I'm sure that we can figure out—"
"No. You two have already lost a lot of time together. I'd rather just get out of your way. I'll miss you," she added, touching Jace's face. "You're a great guy, and I would have been a really lucky girl if you had actually loved me. But I want you to be happy."
Jace kissed her lightly, making Amanda turn away. Her heart was still pounding so hard she thought it might just burst. What if Clarissa was reading too much into the situation, and Jace didn't actually still love her? After years, repressing her hopes was too ingrained in her life for her to just flip a switch and jump back into his arms. Even if they were mates, they had been apart for so long. They had to get to know each other again; they still had to learn how to act around each other. And then there was Logan to think about.
"I'm going to bed," Clarissa said, standing. "I think you two have some things to talk about."
"Clarissa," Amanda started, but the human shook her head.
"There isn't anybody I'd rather give him up for than you. I've put a lot of thought into it and it's the right thing to do." Her fingers trailed over Jace's shoulders. "Although it would have been nice to have sex just once."
With that she left them alone, staring at each other over the flickering light of the dying fire. Despite how late it was, Amanda was brimming with energy. Grabbing the bucket of water she had to put out the fire, she poured it over the coals.
"I'm going for a run," she said. "Want to come with me?"
Jace nodded. Soon they were off, their paws pounding the earth, dodging trees and ducking under branches as they ran side by side. To her surprise, Amanda actually outstripped Jace. He was in such good shape that she thought she would be the first one to give up, but when he barked at her to stop, she ducked behind a bush to shift back and slip the loose dress she had brought over her head
"It's been far too long since I've run in my Wolf form," Jace said when he emerged from his own spot wearing a pair of jeans. "I can run further than that as a human, but…"
"You're going to have to do better than that as Alpha," Amanda teased.
"Yeah." Jace groaned as he lied down on the forest floor.
Amanda laid down beside him and he put his arm around her. The familiarity was so relaxing and she smiled. "So do you think it's true?"
"That we're mates?"
"Yeah."
Jace rolled, gazing down at her. "What do you think?"
Amanda stroked his cheek. "I love you. I have from the first time I saw you."
"When I broke up with you on graduation, you didn't fight me."
"I was trying to do what was best for you. I thought if you knew I was pregnant, you wouldn't go to Harvard. You'd give up your dreams and end up never leaving the town to become the billionaire lawyer you are now. I wanted to fight. I wanted to follow you to Harvard and never let you go, but…"
"But you did what you thought was best for me. I did what I thought was best for me, too. And I'm so sorry." He cupped her face. "I never stopped loving you, either. Throughout these past six years, I wondered if I ruined my chances with my mate because of my pride… Did I?"
Amanda shook her head. She rolled, pressing her mouth against his. The familiar sensation of sparks heating her blood surged back and she moaned, pressing her body against his. His hands tangled in her hair as he answered her urgency with his own. He rolled, pinning her under his body. Their lips parted—
"No." Jace scrambled away, shaking his head. "No, I can't. I'm sorry."
Amanda lay there, stunned.
"Half an hour ago I was dating another woman. It's not respectful to her or fair to you to jump into this so quickly." Jace inched forward again. "I'm sorry."
Amanda pushed herself up, her cheeks heating. "I understand."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. We'll get there, Jace." She found his hand and squeezed it. "We just need a little time. We should get back to camp now."
Jace squeezed her hand back. "Thank you, Amanda."
"For what?"
"Being you."
"Oh. Well, in that case, thank you for being you, too. And I love you."
Jace smiled. "You don't know how good it is to hear you say that again."
"Probably as good as it feels to say it. I love you."
"I love you, too. But you're right. We need to get back to camp. Clarissa isn't the outdoorsy type… will it bother you if I sleep in the tent with her tonight?"
Amanda shook her head. "I know you love me. That's all I need right now."