Chapter Five – When Flames Rage
This wasn't the type of kisses they'd shared before. Even in the closets with his body against hers, fire stirring in her blood, there wasn't this type of need, the burning sensation on her lips. Her body ached for his and she rolled her hips slowly. Soft gasps and moans escaped her as she clung to him, her eyes rolling up into the back of her head. He tasted so good but so desperate. Like if he didn't get this, he was going to shatter. She could feel him trembling in her arms and it terrified and excited her.
Should I actually do this?
It was why she was here. To reel him in and destroy his heart. Making out in a closet was one thing . . . This was entirely different. She knew if she didn't stop him now, she wasn't going to stop him at all. He would put her on the desk, his pants around his ankles, hers hanging off of one leg. The image drifted across her mind as he moved to her neck. Had the door been closed? Yeah, he had slammed it shut.
"I have condoms in my desk," he whispered into her skin.
Condoms. In his desk. Julia tensed briefly. How many other women had he brought here? Was this where Henry had been conceived? Her doubt intensified. Benjamin had slept with and discarded women before. She wasn't going to be any different.
His mouth moved to her neck and sparks flooded her blood. Her skin tightened her core twisting and swelling. One of his hands slipped between her legs, pressing against her through her clothing. So what if he was planning on sleeping with her and discarding her?
"I'm on birth control," Julia gasped. She'd been on it ever since she decided to come here. "But the condom's a good idea."
Benjamin stood, her legs still circling his hips, and carried her to the desk. There, he set her down and opened a drawer, pulling out a single package. As he set it aside, he looked up at her seriously.
"This doesn't mean anything," he told her. "I don't love you and I will never love you. I'm not that kind of man. It's just sex. No relationship. No emotion."
"Good," she blurted out. "Because I could never love someone like you, either."
There was a brief look that crossed his face and Julia didn't know if it was a disappointment, surprise, or something else. She didn't have long to dwell on it because his mouth came back to hers as he readjusted her on the desk.
"We'll have to be quick," he moaned, unsnapping his pants. "Got it?"
Julia nodded, her face flushed. Her hands flew down her shirt, unbuttoning the blouse. The Prince's big, strong hands wrapped around her breasts. He pushed her bra out of the way and dropped his head, sucking on one and then the other. Her core coiled tighter and she thrust her chest out, giving him better access. Benjamin had one arm around her while he worked at her pants with the other. He tugged them off her without even undoing them. As he continued to worship her breasts, a hand pushed between her thighs.
"Okay," he breathed, vibrations from his mouth tightening her skin. "It's okay if you don't want to do this . . . If you have any doubts . . . "
Her heart clenched as he looked up at her again. His stormy eyes were wide, as though it was him who was the one doubting himself. His fingers moved gently against her, causing shivers to roll up and down her spine. She cupped his face in her hands, panting. They'd agreed there was no emotion between them, but she could see it rolling off him in waves. A chill swept over her skin, making her shiver.
She pulled him close again, kissing him hard, not letting herself think of anything besides the moment – being there with Benjamin. The feeling that there was a pain in him, matched by her own, overtook her need for revenge and replaced it with a need for the only comfort. Part of her mind told her to stop, but she wanted him. She needed him. She hooked her knees over his hips, grinding herself against him.
Benjamin groaned and dropped his mouth to her neck. His teeth scraped her skin, leaving tingles behind. It fired out to every inch of her, making her cry out. His hand was still between her thighs and she reached down for him, surprised by how ready he already was. With a groan, he grabbed the foil package beside them and ripped it in half. Julia leaned back, bracing herself on the desk as she watched him put on the condom.
"Ready?" he asked.
She nodded, breathless.
He pushed in slowly, making her tighten. Her arms trembled and she nearly collapsed onto the desk before Benjamin caught her. His arm circled her waist while the other cradled her shoulders. He brought her tight against him, his shirt abrading her sensitive nipples as he began his rhythm. It was fast and hard, making her mewl at once. She clung to him, mouth hanging half-open, her eyes wide in her skull. The prince growled in his throat as he moved, keeping her close, his breath hot as it fanned over her face.
"Are you—" He grunted, his head dropping to her shoulder, "okay?"
Julia closed her eyes, bringing him tighter against her. She didn't respond as she rolled her hips, increasing the contact between them. Something was twisting inside her, a hot feeling sweeping down her legs. She carded her fingers through his hair as his movements became jerky. With a grunt, he put his hand between their bodies, using his thumb to build the fire in her core.
Should I even—
The thought disappeared in a wave of pleasure. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as the tightness inside of her exploded. It rushed down her limbs, filling every bit of her. Eventually, she became aware that Benjamin had stopped moving, his chest heaving. Julia rubbed her thighs against him, mewling as the shockwaves lessened.
The regret crashed over her harder than she had expected. Benjamin must have sensed it because he tensed as he withdrew from her. His eyes met hers and silently they stared at one another, still panting, still trembling. He swallowed hard.
"I'm sorry."
Was he sorry? Julia choked out a laugh. "No. No, I am. I shouldn’t have . . . You asked me and I . . . You don't have anything to be sorry about."
The Dragon opened another drawer and pulled out a package of wet wipes, which he used to clean her up. All the while Julia trembled, a confusion of emotions crashing down all around her. She hated him for what he did to Cynthia. Her friend had gone through so much pain. She cried herself to sleep every night, worrying about her future. She lost her family. She lost her job. She lost everything. She hadn't even been able to properly hold her own child. She told Julia more than once that she loved Henry's father but that he could never know she was pregnant.
And she had just had sex with him. Her enemy. The man who destroyed Cynthia's life.
Julia hopped off the desk and dressed, not looking at the prince as he cleaned himself up. He was a pro at this. How many women had been on his desk with him feeling what she had felt? But he was sure to tell me that nothing was going to come out of this. And when he saw I regretted it, he said he was sorry.
"Julia, I . . . " Benjamin cleared his throat. "I'm not sure if—"
"I think this should be the end," she said, keeping her voice level. "I said from the start that I didn't want to sleep with you on the job and now look at what we've done. It's as much my fault for not keeping up the boundaries. I should never have let you kiss me, to begin with."
"Julia—"
Her pager went off, signaling the end of her shift. She tucked her shirt in and smoothed her hair. Not looking at Benjamin, she left the room.
Her body still tingled, legs weak from the after effects, but she managed to keep herself steady as she retrieved Henry from daycare and went home. There, she made up a bottle for him and cuddled with him on the couch, her mind a mass of confusion.
Cynthia had been her best friend. The one she could rely on, no matter what. When Julia had gotten her heart broken again and again by men who lured her in, told her that they loved her until she slept with them and then kicked her to the curb, Cynthia was always there. She was always happy, always ready with an encouraging word or a smile on gray, rainy days. And now she was gone.
What am I doing? I can't fall in love with him. I'm not falling in love with him! Was that how he seduced Cynthia? By pretending to be so soft and caring?
The tears came suddenly. Julia tried not to sob, tried not to disturb Henry as his eyes started to close. If Cynthia hadn't gotten pregnant, hadn't been too scared to tell Benjamin she was pregnant . . . then she would have been here in the city. She would have been at the hospital when she went into labor, and instead of crashing the car, she would have been safe indoors as the storm raged around her.
I'm glad I slept with him, Julia thought as the image of Benjamin's pained gaze floated across her mind. It will make it easier to hurt him.
And she almost believed it.