Chapter Eleven – Hurricane
She felt like she might spiral away out of control if she let him go. Julia clung to her prince, grasping at his shirt as though he was her only lifeline in a turbulent ocean. Her eyes burned with unshed tears. Once she told him the truth, there was no way he would ever hold her like this again. She was surprised that the queen didn't have her locked away in the dungeons after her confession.
Benjamin's hands slid over her hips and she knew that in a moment she'd be on the desk, legs wrapped around him. It was how they dealt with everything. Sad? Happy? Scared? Angry? Everything led to sex. Julia loved it. She loved having his body so close to hers that it felt like they were melting into one. She loved feeling Benjamin's breath on her face and hearing her name on his lips. She loved everything about him.
No. I love the closeness, the feeling of safety when I'm with him. I don't love him.
Her hands trembled but that only strengthened her resolve. Things had to end between them. She'd break up with him before telling him. That way it wouldn't hurt as much when he hated her for what she had done. But maybe she ought to wait until after Maria had recovered from her poisoning . . .
Don't be a coward, Julia. Every excuse you make is just that ― an excuse. This has to happen and you know it. Better rip the band-aid off quickly.
"I have to go," he whispered. "Will you be here tonight?"
"Yes," she promised before she could remember why that was a bad idea.
Benjamin pressed one last kiss to her mouth before leaving. She slumped onto the desk, breathing hard. What was she going to do now? How could she hurt Benjamin more when he was already in such pain?
She was so caught up in her thoughts that she almost forgot that Henry wasn't in daycare, but rather with Benjamin's PA. He'd be waiting for her now in the lobby. She hurried to the opulent room, focusing on what she needed to do right away. Collect Henry and go home.
Benjamin beat her to the lobby and was holding Henry while he and Nicolas talked in low voices. Julia's chest twisted but she headed towards them, trying not to let her guilt and confusion show.
A man in a guard's uniform came at her. She patted her pockets, looking for her lanyard and pulled it out just as he reached her. But as she opened her mouth to tell him that it was okay and she was allowed near the prince, a flash of silver caught her eye. Instinctively she jumped back, the blade in the man's hand scraping over her ribs as she did so. Pain blossomed as blood welled up through her shirt.
Julia screamed. The man lunged. She threw herself to one side, tripping over her own feet.
And then Benjamin was there. He roared as he slammed his fist into the man's chest. The knife went flying. Smoke billowed into the air and streaks of flame shot from Benjamin's mouth. He pummeled the man, who wildly tried to defend himself. The man fell back a step and the prince pressed forward, eyes blazing. Another burst of flame set the man's uniform alight and he yelped, swinging at Benjamin's face with one hand while beating at his clothing with the other.
Hands grabbed her. Julia let out another yelp as she was dragged to her feet but it was only Nicolas, cradling Henry in one arm while he pulled her away from the fight. Benjamin kicked the man's feet out from under him and pinned him to the floor while guards rushed in.
Julia reached for Henry but stopped when pain shot through her. Her shirt was slick with blood, making her feel dizzy. She swayed on the spot, clutching Nicolas's sleeve. Benjamin rushed over to them and gathered her into his arms.
"Those guards took their sweet time coming," she mumbled through teeth gritted against the pain. "You could have been killed."
Benjamin carried her out, Nicolas close behind. "He wasn't trying to kill me."
"Then why—" Julia cut herself off as she understood. The assassin hadn't been after the prince. He'd been after her. But why? A glance at Benjamin's face was all the answer she needed. They were after her because she was with him. Her stomach twisted and she clung a little tighter to his neck. "Who sent them?"
"I don't know yet," Benjamin said grimly. "But I'm going to find out."
***
After taking her to the hospital wing and getting her bandaged up, Benjamin had taken Julia back to his room and posted guards throughout the hall to make sure that no unauthorized person came up. The one that had attacked her before was an imposter, proven by how quickly his clothing caught flame. All palace uniforms were made from a material impervious to Dragon fire.
The painkillers she'd been given made Julia sleep for a couple hours. When she woke, Benjamin was still there, giving Henry a bottle. For a moment her whole body felt warm and a smile graced her face before she remembered what had happened – and what had to happen soon.
She sat, moving carefully, and Benjamin smiled at her.
"Hey. How are you feeling?"
"Like I was stabbed and drugged." She shuddered. "Have you learned anything about the person who attacked me?"
Benjamin sat beside her and moved Henry to his shoulder. It had taken her weeks to learn how to burp the baby properly and Julia felt a spike of awe and jealousy as Benjamin patted the baby's back, getting a burp with ease. Henry made a cooing noise and smiled at her.
"He was hired to kill you in the palace," Benjamin said, a dark look passing over his face. "The instructions he'd been given were very clear. Whoever it was wanted you to die here. First Natalie poisoning Mother and now this? I don't feel safe in my own home anymore. It was probably Caitlyn who did it."
Julia's mind flashed to Maria. But no, the queen had no reason to want her killed in the palace. Besides which, there was no time between Julia telling her the truth of what she had done and the queen collapsing for her to have hired a hitman. Caitlyn or any number of Benjamin's enemies and rivals were the most likely culprit.
"I was targeted because we're together," she said slowly. "Because they think there is a possibility I could become your queen."
Benjamin flinched. "Isn't there?"
"Not when people are trying to assassinate me just for sleeping with you."
Julia could have kicked herself the moment the words popped out. That wasn't fair to him. She was going to end things before this mess happened but the way she was going at it, the prince would think that it was because of the attack. She opened her mouth to explain but Benjamin cut her off with a kiss.
"I know it's frightening," he whispered, putting an arm around her waist. "But I won't let anything happen to you. I promise. Security has been increased and nobody is going to be able to get anywhere near you. And if they do, I will rip them to shreds."
"Benjamin—"
Another soft kiss. "I don't know what it is Mother thinks you need to tell me but nothing can change how I feel. I lo—"
"Don't!" Julia jumped to her feet. She backed away from him, trembling as though he was the one that came at her with the knife. "Don't you dare say it!"
Benjamin stood, still cradling Henry on his shoulder. His brow knit but there was such warmth in his eyes that Julia wanted to scream. "Why? It's the truth, Julia. I'm not sure how it happened, but I want to spend the rest of my—"
"I'm warning you, stop!"
"—life with—"
"Benjamin! No!" Julia pressed her hands over her eyes, pleading. It didn't help.
"—you. I love you."
Julia screwed her eyes shut tight. No. This couldn't be happening. He couldn’t have just said the last thing she wanted to hear. Her heart pounded, bile tasting in her throat. Her stomach coiled and tears burned her eyes. A part of her wanted to sing and shout hallelujah, but the rest of her was filled with dread. Did he love her? He wouldn't for long. Not when he found out what she really was. And it would rip her heart out.
"You don't love me," she choked. "You can't love me. You don't know me. You're just using me like you've used all your women. Only now you need a mate, a queen, so the other kingdoms will stop attacking you. You don't love me. I don't love you."
A lie if there ever was one.
"Julia—"
"No. No, I don't want to hear it. Give me my baby. I'm leaving. I'm not going to stick around to be assassinated over something so stupid. Love? What is that, anyway? Nothing but hormones and chemicals in the brain making you do stupid things. Give me my baby!"
Benjamin handed over Henry. The yelling had made him start whimpering and fussing. Julia held him close, trying to soothe him. She glared at the prince, who stared at her with such a bewildered, hurt expression that she wanted to take it all back. But she couldn't. It was as much for his good as it was hers. Now she didn't have to tell him how she was just using him and he wouldn't have that pain.
"It's over," she said. "I was going to break up with you tonight, but I guess it's just come early. Go find yourself someone else to be your queen."
She marched past him, trying and failing to stop the tears from pouring down her face. Her heart felt like it had crumbled into dust. But it was for the best. For both of them. Benjamin deserved someone better than her . . . someone capable of real love.