Chapter Nine – Clouds in the Heart
From the way Natalie was looking at her, Julia wouldn't have been surprised if she suddenly burst into flame. It was sheer hatred and jealousy. Well, all those warnings she'd been getting increasingly lately made sense now. No matter how much Natalie might deny it, she was in love with the handsome Dragon.
Thank God I never told her about the reason I came here, Julia thought as she picked up the diaper bag. I'd be out on my ass before I could sing 'do re mi.'
"What do you think you're doing? I warned you. He uses girls and tosses them aside. What are you doing coming into his bedroom, having private little meetings with him?"
Julia put the car seat onto the bed and nestled Henry inside. "It's nothing. We get together, we talk. It's nothing more than that. You don't have to worry about it."
"You are one of the housekeepers and my responsibility—"
"And Fredrick has been praising my work. I do a good job and I do more than my job. What I do when I'm not on the clock isn't your business, Nat." She sighed. "Look, I understand. I really do. But Benjamin isn't . . . Well, he's different than I thought. We were both wrong about him."
Natalie barked out a laugh. "Both? No. No, I'm right and you're wrong! All the girls think that they're the special one. They all think that it's different with them. But it's not. It's always the same. You're no different than any of the others."
"Or you," Julia shot back. "Your eyes are turning green. I can see them from here. You're just jealous. Honestly, you need to get over whatever crush you've got on Benjamin. You're a beautiful, intelligent and hardworking woman. You deserve to have a life of your own. Don't worry about what I'm doing, worry about yourself. I don't do the brokenhearted mess. When Benjamin gets tired of me, or when I get tired of him, it'll be over. Until then, mind your own business!"
"You'd better watch yourself," Natalie seethed. "I've been here for years. I know how things work. If you don't want to listen to me, then everything that happens from here on out is going to be on your head."
Natalie stalked away, her ponytail swinging from side to side. Julia stared at her, unable to stop a shudder moving down her spine. That was a threat if there had ever been one. Had she really misjudged the other woman so much so that she didn't see Natalie's huge crush on Benjamin?
Henry began to fuss, so Julia turned back to him. What could Natalie do against her, really? She'd probably apologize for the next day when Julia came in for work. And if she tried to get her fired? Well, Benjamin would have something to say about that . . .
Trying to shake off the lingering feeling of unease, Julia headed for the door. She just hoped that the queen stayed awake and didn't have a relapse again. The way things were going, Julia wasn't sure the kingdom would survive if that happened.
***
Julia winced as she pulled her underwear on. She was a little tender from the fevered marathon she and Benjamin had made of it the previous night, though she wouldn't have traded it for the world. He had been so completely with her, so focused that she had been brought to heights she had never known before.
"How is your mother?" It had been two weeks since the queen had woken from her coma. She’d been brought back to the palace the previous day.
Benjamin beamed. "Getting stronger every day. The hostilities have calmed down, too, and I've been able to make some progress on a diplomatic solution. Caitlyn remains stubborn as ever, but her allies are working on her to cool off."
Julia shook her head as she rolled her eyes. "Typical. Nothing has changed. You're still in charge. You didn't change anything that you were doing before, but now you're seeing progress when before they wouldn’t even listen to you."
"You don't have to tell me that." Benjamin's gaze dropped to her breasts as she fastened her bra and let out a strangled noise. "When I'm king, I'm going to make it a law that you can't cover those beauties up."
"Ha!" Julia snorted and narrowed her eyes. "Now I'm supposed to say that I won't walk around naked and you say that I'll have to stay in your room for the rest of my life, right?"
"How well you know me."
He nuzzled into her neck, making her moan. Benjamin's PA and his wife had taken Henry for the night, allowing the two of them to have a stress-free evening. Today was her day off and she had shopping to do, laundry to take care of, dishes that needed to be washed, and a host of other things to do. But most of all, she was looking forward to spending the day with her sweet little son.
She remembered what she had seen on the news the previous night and frowned. "So, this was our break up sex, right?"
Benjamin tripped as he tried to put on his pants, ending face-down on the floor. He sprang to his feet and stared at her. "What?"
"It's all over the news that the council has said that you have to be married by the end of the year. You can't really go find yourself a wife while you're sleeping with me."
She doggedly ignored what he had said to her a few weeks ago. She wasn't queen material. Even if she was, Benjamin wouldn't see her that way. He couldn’t. Besides, she wasn't going to be married on a deadline. When she found a partner, it was going to be in her own time and way. There were already too many rumors floating around about her.
"There isn't anybody I'm looking at yet," Benjamin said. "No need to end this yet. And when it is time for the breakup sex, I'll let you know before, not after."
"Thanks," she replied dryly, crossing her eyes at him.
Benjamin chuckled and brushed a kiss across her lips before he left. Julia sighed as she finished dressing. In all honesty, she needed to end it all. It had to stop before it got too far and Benjamin started to think things like it was okay to marry her. Funny . . . she had come into this situation wanting to emotionally destroy him. In the end, it was her emotionally destroying herself.
She had just finished dressing when there was a soft knock on the door. Julia hurried to make the bed before running to answer it. When she opened the door, she gasped. On the other side was Queen Maria. She sat in an electric wheelchair, wearing a cream-colored blouse and some nice slacks. Julia quickly dropped to a half-bow.
"Your majesty," she said awkwardly. "Ben — I mean, the prince isn't here. He's—"
"I'm here to see you, Julia. Not Benjamin. Would you care to join me in the library? There's this delightful little book that I love to sit and read in. It's very private."
Julia swallowed. How could she refuse a queen? She nodded and they set out. The library was a large, imposing room full of more books that could be read in twelve lifetimes. The nook that Maria had spoken of was cozy, though, next to a bay window, with red velvet armchairs sitting to overlook the view. The queen settled herself in one while Julia sat in the other.
"No need to look so nervous." Maria smiled a warm, motherly smile at her. "Benjamin has told me a great deal about you. I've never seen him so taken by a woman before."
This wasn't what she wanted to hear at all. "Things aren't like that between us," she blurted. "There isn't . . . there's no emotion. It's just sex. If you want me to stay away from him, I will." What the hell did she just say? She was speaking to his mother – the queen!
But the queen looked amused at Julia's outburst. "Nothing but sex, huh? Very well, then. I want you to leave the palace and never talk to him again. I'll give you a sizable payment for you to relocate. But there will be no further contact."
"But . . . I have to at least tell him goodbye!" A feeling of panic beat against her chest. She couldn't leave just like that!
"I thought there was no emotion?"
"I . . . I don't want to be rude." Julia dropped her gaze. "It's not like that at all."
"It is like that. You know it as well as I do. Now, I know it's frightening, the prospect of being a queen, especially when you're human. But I've looked into your past. We don't need a perfect specimen. We need someone passionate who will bring life to my boy. You've done that. Do you know why a king without his queen is seen as nothing?"
Julia shook her head. It honestly made little sense to her.
"Because a king without a queen has nothing to lose. Nothing to fight for. He loves you, Julia. He'll fight for you."
The tears hit hard. Julia shook her head. Her chest felt like it was collapsing and for a moment she was sure she was dying. Sobs ripped up her spine and Julia hunched over, wrapping her arms around herself. No. It couldn’t be true. Benjamin didn't love her. He didn't love her and she didn't love him . . .
But she did. She loved his strength, his vulnerability. The look in his eyes when he held her close, the determination in his gait when he dealt with the generals, everything about him. But she couldn’t be the one he loved. She just couldn't.
"Julia?" Maria's hand brushed the back of her neck. "What's wrong?"
"He won't fight for me. Not when he knows the truth."
"The truth?"
Julia looked up into her queen's eyes and blurted out everything. Cynthia. Henry. Her plan. Everything.