Chapter Thirteen – Wake of Destruction
He hated her. He had every right to, but watching him walk away still felt like a shattered mirror driving its broken shards into her heart. She clutched at her chest and would have been unsurprised if it came back bloody.
It wasn't supposed to hurt this much. The truth was supposed to set her free. What a load of bull. She should have just kept her mouth closed. Then she and Benjamin could go their separate ways and she would never have had to see the pain in his eyes as she told him what she had done. The tears continued to roll down her face.
But it was for the best, wasn't it? Getting the truth out there. Letting him know exactly why there could never be anything between them.
He slammed the door shut behind him as he left and Julia jumped to her feet. She couldn’t let it end like this. She chased after him, his name on her lips. She caught up with him just outside her room and reached for his hand. As soon as her skin brushed his he pulled back as though she had burned him.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I can't tell you how sorry I am. I realized what I was doing was wrong and I wanted to tell you. I didn't know how. I never meant for it to get this far."
"You meant for it to end exactly like this."
Julia shook her head. "No. I didn't. I should have ended it long ago, I just . . . I . . . I started to care. I didn't mean to. But I knew you weren't the person I thought you were, I had already changed my mind about destroying you before I started caring. I was just grieving Cynthia and unable to handle my own guilt. I was lashing out."
Benjamin stopped. For a moment her heart rose with hope. Maybe, just maybe, he could forgive her. Those hopes were dashed when he turned. There was no forgiveness, no softness in his eyes. Sheer anger exuded from him and she knew it was useless. He'd never forgive her for what she had intended on doing.
"How did she die?"
Julia took a deep breath and recounted how it had happened. How Cynthia had suddenly gone into labor in the middle of a storm, and the truck that had caused her to lose control of the car.
Benjamin's shoulders sagged. "But that wasn't your fault. If the truck was in your lane, then how could you have stopped it?"
"I.. I could’ve . . . Maybe . . . "
He reached for her and for a brief moment she thought it meant he was softening, but then he drew back and his expression hardened again. "You still had no right to keep the truth from me. Henry is my son."
"Yes."
"My son," he repeated, stepping a little closer. "Mine. Not yours."
Her blood turned to ice.
"He is going to stay with me in the palace as my son. You . . . you will be dismissed from your duties. As soon as it's safe for you to leave, you will. Do you understand me?"
Julia shook her head. Her heart slammed into her ribs as bile rose in her throat. This was worse than anything she had anticipated. After everything she had done to keep him, to give her baby a good life, the prince thought he could just steal Henry way? Never. Her hands balled into fists and she narrowed her eyes at him.
"You are not taking Henry from me."
"You're the one that stole him. He should have come to me from the start. If Cynthia was alive, she'd live in the palace in a place of honor, but you are not his mother."
Julia's hand flew before she could stop herself. Her fist collided with the Dragon's jaw. He grunted, backing up a step, but otherwise seemed unaffected.
"I am his mother! You can't take him from me. There are assassins after me because I slept with you. I'm not going to put him in danger too. We're on the brink of war—"
"And having a child, an heir will strengthen my position. He'll strengthen the kingdom and that war you're so worried about? It will be avoided."
"You aren't using my boy as a pawn in your politics," Julia spat back. "He's a tiny, innocent, helpless baby and deserves a proper chance at a normal life. Not to be taken in because you want to spit in my face or to parade him around like a trophy. He's my son—"
"He's my son!"
Julia shook her head. She breathed in deeply, attempting to calm herself even though it was difficult. Cynthia's parents had put her through this as well, and she wasn’t going to just give up. "He's my son. I will fight you with everything I have. I won't let you take him away."
Benjamin barked out a laugh. He dragged his hand through his hair, then shook his head. A brief look of pain flashed across his face but it hardened again quickly. "If you want to stay his guardian, his mother, then I guess you'll just have to marry me."
"What?"
Was he serious? After this huge fight they were having, he still said something like that? Was he trying to back off, to let Henry go without a fuss? Or – her eyes narrowed again – was it just because of his position? He needed a queen to strengthen his rule. Was this the only way he was going to get one?
"And why would you want me to marry you?" she asked him coldly.
He was just as cold as he replied. "Because a public fight over custody would only further weaken the kingdom and marry you would give me the queen that everybody thinks I should have. It's too late to start trying to court a woman, so I've got to get somebody I don't care about anyway. At least with you, I'd know exactly what I'm getting into."
"If you think I'm going to let you use me—"
"Oh, you mean like how you were using me?"
She couldn't reply to that. Her heart was somewhere down near her toes, all her limbs feeling heavy. "You're not seriously thinking that I would actually marry you."
"I suppose not. After all, a liar and a con as the queen? I'm surprised that being queen doesn't appeal more to you. Or is it that you want to destroy the kingdom?"
Julia stared into Benjamin's angry eyes and said nothing. She struggled to keep a lid on her own anger, though her blood rushed in her ears and her hands trembled with the desire to claw out the prince's eyes. He was hurt like she had been. He was lashing out as she had. Once he calmed down, maybe they would have a chance to talk this over. Maybe he would regret the things he said. Maybe. Or maybe she should have just kept her mouth shut, instead just disappearing from Benjamin's life.
"What? Nothing more to say?"
"I love Henry," she whispered. "More than anything."
Benjamin's nostrils flared. "Yeah. But I'm his father. I'm a prince. You're a servant. Who do you think the courts will give him to?"
"I didn't have to tell you. I didn't have to tell you anything."
"Yeah? Well, it's too late to change your mind now."
He walked away without another word, leaving Julia behind. A sob ripped up her throat and she turned back to her room. Henry started to cry and she went to get him, all the while wondering what she would do if Benjamin made good on his threats.
She couldn’t give Henry up. She had to find a way to soften Benjamin . . . somehow.