CHAPTER 29
Graham
FOUR MONTHS AGO….
“Daddy thinks we should marry, Graham,” Hope said casually, as though she was considering whether or not to purchase a new pair of shoes.
Her words came close to making me choke on my protein drink.
We were in Hope’s expensive condo, and I was getting ready to start winding down from my season. We still had a few football games to play, but we were out of the playoffs. I suppose I should feel guilty about how my team did, but the defense sucked. I might have played my heart out, but I couldn’t save a team who couldn’t keep other teams from getting into the red zone.
“Why does he think that?” I asked, still stunned by her comment.
Hope and I hadn’t really spoken for the last few hours. I’d just turned off the TV. I’d been watching last week’s game, trying to figure out who I could chew out for fucking things up on the field.
And Hope had been frantically working on her social and work schedules on her phone.
She finally looked up and smiled. Just like always, her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. But who in the hell cared, right? She was still beautiful.
Hope said, “Daddy says you’ll be a star football player next year because of the way you played this season.”
I already knew that. I was either going to end up as the starter for New England, or I was going to take another lucrative contract that came my way. I’d already heard that other teams were sniffing around at the possibility of taking me as a starter, so I’d probably have a pretty big decision to make once I knew all of the offers.
Did I want to marry Hope? Wouldn’t I be crazy if I didn’t?
She was everything a guy could want from the woman who would be by his side for the rest of his life. Okay, maybe we didn’t do much together, and maybe sometimes I felt like I was an appointment to her instead of a date, but we both had busy careers. We were both driven. Hope was in high demand as a supermodel and a filthy rich man’s only daughter, and I was still trying to carve out my place in the league.
And…Hope was safe. She’d been around me enough that I’d had to tell her that I was bipolar. But unlike sharing it with Jack and Lauren, I hadn’t been worried about telling Hope. I’d already known that she wouldn’t really give a damn. Illnesses weren’t really her priority, unless she was at a charity ball or something.
Why wouldn’t I want to marry her? I studied business in college. Hope’s dad had some connections I’d never have, and I wanted to start my own business once I was too old to play football.
The whole arrangement would be perfect for my career, and Hope’s.
“Okay,” I finally said huskily.
Hope hopped up from her chair across the room. “Great. I’ll get the invitations out, and I’ll send you links to the ring of my dreams. Don’t feel like you need to formally propose. I already found a ring I adore, and I can’t wait to get it on my finger. I’ll be the envy of all my friends.”
I started hoping to hell I did get a great contract. I wasn’t poor, but I knew Hope’s taste for the finer things, and my current salary wasn’t that great. She’d grown up with the best of everything. So I knew the price of the ring was going to be steep.
Hope continued, “I hope you stay here on the East Coast. If you don’t, I’ll just have to visit you occasionally. It wouldn’t look right if we weren’t pictured together. I know you’re going to have to do what’s best for your career, and I have to do what’s good for me.”
I nearly flinched. We were going to be married, but living across the country from each other if I didn’t end up here? Hope did travel a lot, but I assumed she’d make her home base with me. Apparently…not. Her whole social life was in Boston, and she spent a lot of time schmoozing with her dad. But I admired her drive to make connections, so I guess I was going to have to accept the fact that she wouldn’t be living with me while I was attached to a team elsewhere.
But I could be with her for some of the off-season, and like she said, she could come to me when she wanted. It wasn’t like either of us would have to be pinching a penny.
“Sounds good,” I told her.
“Daddy is going to want us to spend the holidays with him this year if we’re engaged,” Hope mused. “We can get a rush on the ring so I have it by Christmas. It will be so fun to show it off in holiday pictures. And I have to get the invitations out. We can have the ceremony before you start next year.”
That worked for me. Once I started training, then training camp, and finally the football season, I could hardly breathe, and my ass was dragging.
I was bone deep exhausted right now from the season. I’d been pushing myself to the limit, and even though I was in the best physical condition I could be in, there was a limit to what a body could take.
Hope leaned down and pecked me on the cheek. “I’m so excited, Graham. I’m going to start working on everything right away. I’ll take care of everything so you don’t have to. It’s going to be the wedding of my dreams.”
She was dismissing me. It wasn’t like I didn’t get the fact that she wanted to be alone to plan things. More than likely, she’d be on the phone the minute I left.
I got off the couch and stood up. “Don’t you want to celebrate?” I asked, shooting her a look that had most women wrapped around my cock pretty quickly.
I hadn’t gotten laid in months. Hope and I had agreed to be exclusive six months ago, and we didn’t see anybody else.
She tapped my shoulder, which was more of a brush-off than not. “You’re exhausted and so am I. I just got back from Paris, and you’ve been playing so hard. Let’s make a date for after you finish the season.”
I knew what that meant. She wanted to schedule time to have sex. “Put me on your calendar,” I grumbled.
I was used to her response. Neither of us really had time for spontaneous sex. But I was willing to make time. Obviously, Hope was not.
“What about the holidays? Should I tell Daddy to expect us?”
Okay, I was bummed about that. I tried to get back to Denver every year near the holidays to see Jack and Lauren, but marriage was all about compromise, right? Besides, I was really hoping the Wildcats would make me a great offer, and I could get back to Colorado permanently. They needed a good quarterback, and I could be back home again.
“I’ll go to your dad’s for the holidays if you join me for my trip in Aspen,” I bargained.
Hope pulled a face. “I’m not a skier, but I’ll go. Aspen is a place to see and be seen. We’ll get some great photos for the social pages there.”
“You’ll love it there,” I told her as I made my way to the door. “It will just be you, me, Jack and Lauren.”
I didn’t care if Aspen was a place for the rich and famous. To me, it was a special place with Jack and Lauren, and we were going to go in style this year if I got the contract I wanted. Finally, I’d be able to pay them back for all the years that they’d paid for a place for us there in the past.
“Is this the guy who came to visit over the summer?” Hope asked.
Jack had come for a job interview here on the East Coast over the summer, and Hope had briefly chatted with both Jack and Lauren via Skype several times. Jack’s interview hadn’t panned out into a job, but we’d had a great time while he’d been here.
It bummed me out a little that Hope didn’t seem to remember either one of the two most important people in my life, but I put it down to her busy schedule. She met so many people that she couldn’t possibly remember them all.
“Yeah, that’s him,” I finally answered. “And you’ve chatted with Lauren on Skype.”
Lauren and I hadn’t touched base as often as we did when I was in college, but we still talked on the phone, by text, or on video chat once in a while.
“Oh, yes,” Hope said like a light bulb had just turned on in her head. “The chubby girl with glasses.”
I didn’t consider Lauren overweight at all. In fact, she had curves that would make any guy take notice. And her glasses were just…Lauren. She’d worn them for as long as I could remember, even though she rarely cleaned them well. I’d always thought they were adorable on her. Now that she was all grown up, they made her look like a sexy wise owl, and it was a good look on her.
Oh, well. Maybe Lauren did look overweight to a supermodel who was so thin I could pretty much feel all her bones.
“I suppose they’re both tolerable,” Hope said. “Jack was nice to me, but he asks some intrusive questions.”
I grinned at her. “He’s always been pretty blunt. He usually calls it like he sees it.” It was one of the things I liked about him.
“I remember him asking me if I liked being a supermodel,” she said.
I’d never asked Hope that because I knew her profession was like part of her personality. She thrived on attention. “What did you tell him?”
“I told him I loved it,” she answered. “But for some reason, he didn’t seem to believe me.”
I kissed her lightly on the lips as I got ready to leave. “That’s just Jack. We’ve always been really close, and we don’t bullshit each other.”
Maybe I had kept some things from my two best friends, but Jack was pretty much an open book. I admired that.
Hope smiled, but her expression was brittle. “Well, if you come to Daddy’s over Christmas, I’ll do my best with your friends.”
What more could I ask for? I couldn’t expect her to be as thrilled about seeing Lauren and Jack as I was.
“Send me our dates,” I said as I walked out the door.
“I will,” Hope agreed before she closed the door behind me.
As I made my way out of the building, I was content.
I was marrying a beautiful supermodel that most men would love to have on their arm. Hope was ambitious, and I knew she’d be cordial to my friends. She rarely snubbed anybody because she might need them for something in the future. She didn’t believe in burning any bridges if she could help it. And she was sophisticated enough to impress anybody.
Everything is coming together for me.
I was going to be a star quarterback, and I’d have my pick of teams to sign up with for the following season.
And I was going to marry the perfect woman. I’d have a wife who could open even more doors for me in the future.
But I don’t…love her.
I slammed that particular fact out of my mind the moment it popped into it.
As I got into my vehicle, I reminded myself that I didn’t love anybody.
Never had.
Never would.
It was enough that Hope would accept me as her husband.
It had to be enough.
I wasn’t capable of anything else.