CHAPTER 33
Lauren
I bounced out of bed the next morning. My friend had sent over a program that did everything I needed it to. I’d already tried it out on my laptop using footage from the last game the Wildcats had played. I used it to suggest some throwing techniques that might improve Graham’s accuracy. I also cross referenced the current team to the previous year and hunted down footage on any new recruits then wrote some calculations that might help them.
I showered, donned the dress I’d chosen the night before, applied a light layer of makeup, and pulled my hair up into a loose ponytail, smiling at my reflection when I was done. I would never be like the models on the magazine covers, but I decided right then and there to celebrate what I’d been given. Yes, my hips were wide and my face had a youthful roundness to it, but was there only one definition of beautiful? Maybe, just maybe, I could be my own kind.
My father looked up from his coffee as I entered the kitchen and he smiled. “Going to see Graham today?”
“And some of his teammates.”
My father frowned. “Be careful. Remember, no matter how big a guy is a kick to his nuts will drop him to the ground.”
I kissed him on the cheek, grabbed a piece of toast off his plate and a bottle of water from the counter. “I’m sure that won’t be necessary.” I motioned to my computer I had slung over my shoulder. “I’m going to do a presentation on how they can improve their game.”
He nodded, then added, “If they’re wearing a protective cup—a poke to the eyes also works.” He jabbed two fingers through the air to demonstrate.
“You actually sound worried.”
He waved in my general direction.
I chuckled. “It’s quite modest, Dad. And you’re the one who suggested I wear a dress.”
He frowned again. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Go back to your room, put on jeans and one of those baggy shirts you always wear. You are not allowed to grow up overnight.”
“It’s still me, Dad,” I promised then cocked my head to one side. “And I’m taking this whole conversation as a compliment.”
He nodded. “Just be careful.”
I gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked away feeling pretty good about myself. My father wasn’t normally overly protective, but as I looked back I realized he’d never needed to be. That had always been the job of Jack and Graham. Had I shaken his faith in both? I hoped not.
We were all growing up and making mistakes along the way. Kelley assured me that was normal. I liked that—normal. I didn’t want to think about how long it had taken to see myself that way. I didn’t want to ruin how good it felt to simply feel comfortable in my own skin.
Graham met me in front of the players’ practice field. His eyes widened as he took in my new look. “Holy shit, Lauren, you look amazing—”
I blushed and looked at him from beneath my lashes. “Good morning, Graham.” Considering his attire of athletic pants and a T-shirt, I would normally have felt overdressed and self-conscious, but the heat in his gaze told me I’d chosen the right outfit. I didn’t want to be one of the guys. Not with him.
I tried to keep my composure as my gaze slid over him again. How had he jokingly described himself? As a stallion in his prime? Yes, I could see that. Everywhere I looked he was bulging with muscle and some impossible to ignore excitement to see me. My body was just as thrilled to be near him, but thankfully the female body concealed it better.
“Should I give you two a minute?” a male voice said from beside him. Only then did I realize we were no longer alone. The other man could have been Graham’s age or a little younger, and was just as beefed up and similarly dressed. Although I appreciated his physique because I knew the hard work that went into maintaining it, I felt none of the attraction I felt for Graham. I did, however, like the friendliness of his tone and how relaxed Graham remained in his presence. The man’s name was Tyler Miller. I recognized his face from the videos I’d seen of him. He was the wide receiver Graham really liked.
“No wonder you felt you had to stake your claim.” He held out his hand. “Graham talks about you all the time but he failed to mention that you’re gorgeous. I’m Ty.”
I blushed again, enjoying the moment even though he probably would have said the same to any woman. I shook Ty’s hand as I said, “I’m so excited you’re here. I used your last incomplete pass to demo what the software I brought with me is capable of. I’d like to start my presentation with that play if it’s okay with you. Then I put together some clips of Graham and several other players on the team along with a few suggestions for each.”
Ty’s eyebrows rose and fell and he let out an impressed whistle. “Sure. That sounds amazing. And so much more than I expected.”
Graham wrapped his arm around my waist. “Not me. She’s brilliant. Prepare to be impressed.”
“I already am,” Ty said kindly.
Graham’s arm tightened around my waist and I looked up at him. He was irritated. No. Jealous? My gaze went from him to Ty and back. I could have told him that he had zero reason to worry since there had only ever been one man who made me feel the way he did, but I decided to not make it that easy for him.
I had done the ridiculous on the ride over and listened to a podcast on how to snag a man’s heart. It actually hadn’t been as bad as I’d expected it to be.
Be yourself—check.
Be a challenge—epic fail.
According to the podcaster, who had used her marriage and anecdotal stories of helping her friends find love, rather than citing a degree on the subject, men valued a woman more if they felt they had won her. I had never been one to play games, but her philosophy matched a common belief that people tended to value something more if they had to work for it.
I was entering into uncharted territory. The idea of flirting with another man to wake Graham up held no appeal for me. I did, however, see that I could be a little less like a puppy running to meet him at the door whenever I saw him. Be a challenge. Okay, here goes.
I stepped away from Graham and patted my computer bag. “Can you show me where I’ll set up? How many should I expect?” I squared my shoulders and used the professional tone I usually reserved for my older colleagues when I needed to be taken seriously.
Graham rubbed his chin as he watched me adopt that role.
Ty waved for us to follow him. “Why don’t I introduce you to the guys first, then we’ll lure them to the school. Graham arranged to get a classroom for you.”
Unofficial practices were being held on any available field. This one just happened to be attached to a high school.
“Four men from the offense are here,” Ty explained as we made our way to where the other men were standing. “Two are excited to talk strategy but the other two aren’t as enthusiastic.”
Graham jumped in. “They’d better be smart enough to know not to start any shit. Who has an issue with Lauren being here?” His muscles flexed beneath his shirt as he moved.
Ty said, “Gareon and Bruce. Treyvon and Dexter are fine with it.”
Graham’s hands fisted at his sides. “I should have known. Bruce loves to stir shit and Gareon always follows his lead. I’ve shut them both down in the past and I’ll do it again if they so much as look at her wrong. Why did they fucking even come?”
Oh, no. The last thing I wanted to do was cause a problem for Graham with his team.
Ty put his hands up in front of him. “Calm down, Graham. No one is going to disrespect your girlfriend. They’re here to throw some balls around and see you. This is about getting the offense to gel, not fight. At the end of the day, how you feel about each other affects if we win or lose. Whatever history you have with them—let it go. It’s a new team, a new game.”
Graham nodded and his hands relaxed. “You’re right.”
We stepped out onto the players’ field and I was glad I’d worn flats. I was trotting along to keep up with Graham and Ty while trying not to let myself give in to a rising wave of worry. Four men were already on the field tossing footballs back and forth. They stopped when they saw us and headed in our direction. Graham lengthened his stride and I quickened mine until Ty shook his head at me and said softly, “He needs to handle this on his own.”
I stopped and clutched my computer bag. Graham didn’t look the least bit intimidated by the four hulking men who stood before him like a human wall. I watched, waited, and prayed. Just as Ty had said two looked less than pleased by not only my presence but with Graham as well. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but the conversation looked civil enough.
A moment later, Graham turned and they all began walking toward us. Ty said, “You’ve got this, Lauren. Beneath all that muscle, they are just men who want to be the best athletes they can be. They have just as much riding on making this work as Graham does.”
I smiled up at him in gratitude. “Thank you. That helps.”
Graham frowned at me and Ty again. Had we been alone I would have slugged him in the arm and told him he was being silly, but there was nothing I could do with the audience we had.
Each man introduced himself to me, two with the enthusiasm of children on the first day of school. I refused to let that bother me. I introduced myself and said, “I’m excited by the opportunity to apply what I know about physics to see if my video simulations reflect real world application of my theories.”
Gareon shook his head. “Shame I can’t stay. I have too much shit to do. I’m game to toss around a ball on another day, though.”
Bruce chimed in, “Me, too. I did too well last year to want anything messing with my head.”
“Too well? If your quarterback hadn’t gotten injured and taken the blame for all your bad receptions you would have probably been benched,” I said.
“That’s not true,” Bruce countered, his temper flaring.
Graham moved to stand at my side. He looked like he was about to say something but I silently pleaded with him not to. Experience had taught me that if I wanted these men to respect me I would have to prove myself—and that was not something that intimidated me anymore.
“The numbers are uncontestable.” I quoted his stats from last year compared to the year before.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Bruce snapped.
“That’s a lot of defensiveness for someone who plays offense,” Ty joked in an attempt to lighten the tension. It failed.
“Careful, Bruce,” Graham said in a cold, tight tone.
“I think I’m the person who can show you how to position your body better to improve your personal stats. Give me five minutes of your time and if you’re not impressed, I’ll leave.”
“Five minutes?” Gareon mocked. “I guess I can spare that. Go for your Hail Mary.”
I smiled with confidence as Graham led us into the school and to the classroom he’d set up before I’d arrived. Five minutes wasn’t much, but if I cued the clips up differently each man there would at least have heard a suggestion on how they could improve their game. Ty had given me an insight on what Graham’s teammates wanted as we’d walked to the classroom. I wish Graham were as easy to understand. I glanced at Graham as I quickly set up the equipment, and saw that he was still tense and I winked.
A slow smile spread across his face. He leaned in. “I—” He stopped as if realizing that anything he might have said to me would have been heard by everyone there. “I can’t wait to hear your presentation.”
It was soon show time. I stood in the front of a small theater I’d created with my laptop beside me and the program projected onto a large screen in front of us. I brought up the clip of Ty’s incomplete pass, broke every part of it down, then used mathematical equations to explicate why it had been impossible for Ty to catch the ball. There were five pairs of blank stares until I ran the 3-D simulations of how changing position even slightly mattered, and demonstrated how that changed the sticking ability of the ball. I did the same with tweaking how each throw should be met with a different type of catch to increase the likelihood of the receiver retaining the ball.
When I played the clip of Gareon followed by my suggestion, he stood up and walked closer to the screen. “Play it again.”
I did.
“You’re right,” he said and gave me an odd look. “If I had shifted even slightly I wouldn’t have lost the football.”
I nodded. “And since Graham’s injury, he’s throwing lower spirals. With minor modifications you could use this to your benefit.” I charted out the downward parabolic path. “If you know what angle it’ll come to you at, you can adjust accordingly.”
Graham walked up and joined Gareon. “I could increase my reach as well.”
Treyvon and Dexter joined them. Treyvon said, “Can you show my clip again?”
I ran it again.
“And mine,” Dexter requested.
I showed his next.
“I need to try this,” Gareon announced.
Graham gave him a slap on the back. “Let’s do it.”
Ty walked over to me and nodded toward Graham. “You’re good for him.”
A giddiness brought a goofy smile to my face as I realized I’d done it—I’d won them over. “I know. He’s been good for me, too.”
“I hope you two work out,” Ty said sincerely.
“Me, too,” I said and laid my hand on his arm. Ty seemed to genuinely care about Graham and knowing what I now did about Graham’s childhood, I knew how important their bond was. I wished it could have been Jack there, cheering Graham on, commiserating with him when things went badly then kicking his ass to try harder, but that was on Jack. And what mattered was that it had not stopped Graham from being capable of other friendships. I had begun to think Graham would never be able to forgive Jack, but seeing him building new bonds with men he had clearly had issues with previously gave me hope.
I closed my laptop and slung the bag on my shoulder. Graham waited for me just inside the door. The backs, the tight end, and the Cats’ other wide receiver filed out and Ty waved that they’d see me outside before he closed the door behind him.
Graham lifted my computer bag off my shoulder and laid it against the wall. “Thank you for today.” Although his words were simple enough, his mood was more complicated. Instead of looking pleased with me, he looked—torn, frustrated—hungry.
“You’re welcome,” I said breathlessly as he backed me up against the wall. He filled my vision and sent my senses into overload. Science be damned, how could being with him feel as good as it did if we weren’t meant to be together?
He dug one hand into my hair and closed his other over my ass, pulling me flush against him while tilting my head back. His hardening cock nudged against my stomach. “You’re mine, Lauren.”
I opened my mouth to ask him what that meant, but my question was lost to a toe curling, plundering kiss that wiped all coherent thought clear out of me. Nothing mattered beyond his lips, his tongue, the feel of his hands. I wanted more, so much more. I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave myself over to the pleasure.
He ripped his mouth from mine, his breath ragged and hot on my cheek. “I want you right here, but I can’t do that to you. I didn’t think I was the jealous type, but every time you smiled at Ty—every touch I saw you give him—it shredded me inside. Don’t leave me, Lauren.”
I wanted to tell him that I never would, but that was no longer true. “Then don’t hurt me again, Graham. Don’t shut me out. If I really am yours, then be mine. Be someone I can believe in.”
He tucked my head under his chin and hugged me to his chest. I felt, as well as heard, the fast beat of his heart. “I will be. I swear I will.”
I nodded against him and wrapped my arms around him, holding him as tightly as he was holding me. Would we make it? Could he be the man I needed him to be? I still wasn’t sure, but knowing that he wanted to be was almost as good as a declaration of love from him.
Almost.
But then, Graham had never told me that he loved me, not even when I was a kid. He wasn’t comfortable with expressing himself that way.
If I measured the success of the day by how hard to get I’d played, I’d failed miserably. I decided, however, to stop trying to calculate our trajectory and allow myself to enjoy where I was—in the arms of the man I’d adored as long as I could remember.
We stepped back from each other and he cleaned my glasses on his shirt the way he’d done a thousand times before. Some things had changed between us, but others hadn’t at all. Our relationship wasn’t a traditional one but maybe, just maybe, that was what made it beautiful.
I stayed long enough that day to see the players testing my theories and adopting a few of them. Graham tried throwing lower and farther by adding the additional spin I’d suggested. The others were tweaking how they positioned themselves for different throws. It was fascinating to watch, but I waved that I was leaving. Graham was getting along with the others and I had done what I’d come to do.
Graham jogged over to me. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
I hated to take him away from the others. “That’s okay.”
He touched my cheek gently. “See you tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?” I asked, unable to concentrate when his attention was focused on me that way.
“Our date.”
“Oh, yes.”
“I can’t wait to get you alone.”
My mouth opened and closed but nothing came out. I could have reminded him again that alone or not we needed to move ahead slowly, but that conviction weakened whenever he was near. “See you tomorrow,” I said, making a quick and somewhat awkward retreat.