My phone buzzed beside me and knowing who it was, I reached for it immediately. Tian and I had a thing going. I say a thing because I’m not really sure what it was, just that we were a something and that was honestly enough. Maybe.
Tian: You up?
I looked at the time, it was just after midnight. The thing with Tian? When we weren’t hanging out Saturday morning at the park while I volunteered, the only other time we talked was around midnight. It was weird, but he was busy. He was a senior and involved in sports, but he still wanted to talk to me. He could have chosen to sleep every night, but he didn’t, he spent that time talking to me. It was nice. I felt wanted, needed. My fourteen-year-old heart felt connected to someone for the first time, and I didn’t want to lose that. So, I rarely questioned him. Instead, I took what he offered and held on tight.
Jade: I sure am. How was your day?
Tian: It was ok. I missed you.
My heart flipped in my chest.
He was sweet, almost always. I loved it. Every single time. But his sweetness was a cover, and I was too foolish to realize it.
Again. I took what he gave and barely batted an eye.
Jade: I missed you more. When can I see you again?
Tian: Saturday. You know it’s my only free day.
I sighed, knowing we’d never have more than just Saturdays. Two months had passed, and I really didn’t want it to end just yet.
Tian: Jade? I’ve gotta go. See you Saturday.
Jade: Okay. See you then.
Another thing? Our texts were only a few at a time, never lasting more than a few minutes.
Was it weird? Yeah, it was. But I craved what he gave, so I let it slide, like I did with almost everything else in my life.
I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep. It was Wednesday. Saturday couldn’t get here quick enough.
* * *
“Have you thought much about what you’re going to do after graduation?” I asked, leaning back on my hands.
Sebastian was seated across from me, his legs spread out in front of him and his arms resting on top of the basketball he used when on the court.
“Nah, but my mom always said she wanted me to work in her field.”
“What does she do?”
“She’s a doctor at the county hospital,” he said like it was no big deal.
I, on the other hand, was fascinated. His mom was a doctor? That was incredible.
So, I said so. “That’s incredible.”
“Yeah, I guess. She’s awesome.” He smiled, his dimple popping in and out, it was so quick.
He was so casual about everything, I wasn’t sure if anything fazed him.
“What’s your life like, Jade?” He asked quietly.
I mulled the question over. What was it like? It was boring, normal, ordinary, plain. Like me. I wasn’t anything special. People called me pretty and nice, but those same people rarely made an effort to hang out with me. I had one friend, and I believed that if we hadn’t had our diapers changed together, that we wouldn’t be as close as we are now. Becca was a ball of fire, always blazing and moving, never quite dulling, even when people tried. She was the type of person I aspired to be like someday. But even though we were close, I still hadn’t told her about Tian. He was my secret to keep, and I’d have it that way for as long as I could.
“Jade?” He prompted.
“Right, sorry.” I laughed awkwardly, shaking my head. “It’s normal, I guess. I wake up, go to school, cheer practice, and then I go home, sleep, and do it all over again.”
“Are you happy?” He asked softly.
“I think so, yeah,” I said, nodding my head. “I don’t really have a reason not to be. Are you?”
“Most days.” He looked across the court. “I didn’t realize how unhappy I was until I met you, though. How cheesy is that?”
My heart jumped up and down in my chest, begging to break free and cuddle up with his own heart. I took a deep breath, calming myself and trying not to outwardly freak out over his words. He was a sweet talker, but I liked to believe he was the type of person who didn’t say things unless they meant them.
“It’s a little cheesy.” I laughed. “But cheesy sounds good coming from you, so I don’t mind.”
“I’m really glad I met you when I did, Jade.” His voice was solemn, and my heart clenched at the sound.
“Why is that?” I asked softly.
He didn’t answer me, instead he moved toward me, grasped my cheeks between his hands, and pressed light, gentle kisses on my lips.
He was always that way with me. Gentle, I mean. He was never rough or demanding, just soft and sweet, and I didn’t know if that was the person he was always or only when he was with me, or maybe it was the person he was trying to be. Either way, Sebastian Hayes was making his mark on me, whether I knew who he truly was or not.
“I want to give you more than just Saturday mornings, Jade,” he whispered against my lips. “But I’m not sure if I can.”
I shook my head and pulled him back to me, ignoring the protest my heart was throwing at his confession.
I wanted more, I did, but if this was all he could give me, then I would accept it.
“It’s okay.” I lied. “We’ll work it out.”
* * *
“Where have you been hiding lately?” Becca asked curiously. “I feel like I hardly hear from you anymore.”
I laughed. “We see each other in class and after school at practice, we see plenty of each other.”
“Fine, you have a point.” She grumbled. “But we never hang out for fun anymore, ya know? And I miss my best friend.”
“I’m sorry, you’re right. I guess I’ve just been occupied.”
“By what?” She narrowed her eyes. “Or, should I ask, by who?”
I cleared my throat, my cheeks heating at her gaze. “A boy.”
“A boy?” Her eyes widened. “Since when? Who is he? Anyone I know? How long has this been going on?”
I stopped her before she could tack on a few more questions. “Take a breath, detective. He’s just someone I met at the park I volunteer at on Saturdays.”
“And?” She prompted. “Tell me more. Answer all my questions, you know they’re burning inside me.”
“You’re so ridiculous, but fine. I’d do the same to you if these roles were reversed.” I admitted with a laugh. “His name is Sebastian, and he’s seventeen. A senior at, well, I’m not sure where he goes to school exactly, but he’s easy and complicated all at once, and it’s the most exciting thing to happen to me, like, ever.”
“And he’s good to you? I don’t need to beat him up or something?”
“No, not at all. He seems to be going through some things, so Saturdays are the only time I really see him, and it’s rarely longer than a couple of hours.”
“Wait, how long has this been going on?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “A few months, maybe more. I haven’t exactly been counting.”
“Jade Young, you’ve got to be kidding me.” Becca not-so-lightly pinches my arm.
“Ow. If you pinch me again, I’m not telling you anything else.” I threatened.
“You’d really withhold that type of information from your best friend?” She sounded appalled, and her eyes narrowed. “What kind of monster are you?”
I rolled my eyes, laughing. “The kind who doesn’t take kindly to abuse.”
She stuck her tongue out at me. I stuck mine out back.
“Ugh.” She crossed her arms and stomped her foot once. Her dramatics were my favorite thing about her. “Fine. I won’t pinch you anymore. I’m just shocked that this has been going on for so long and I’m barely hearing about it now.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” I said sincerely. “I just, I guess he and I have been living in this fantasy world where we’re the only two that exist and our problems are minimal. He’s simple and uncomplicated in that he really doesn’t seem to expect much from me. All we really do is talk, aside from the occasional kiss, but even those are sort of delicate if I’m being honest.”
“Did you just use the word delicate to describe a kiss?” She asked slowly.
“Ugh, yes, I’m infatuated okay, I can’t help it.”
“Infatuated?” Becca asked, brows raised.
“Yeah.” I shrugged. “I like him. Maybe a little too much, but I do.”
“And you’re going to keep him a secret?”
“Yeah, I think that’s best,” I said honestly. “I mean, you know how protective my parents are. It’s sweet, but they’re also a little naive. Not in a bad way, just in a parent way, ya know?”
“Sure.” She laughed. “Just be careful, okay?”
“Aren’t I always?” I smiled, and practice began.
It didn’t matter if I had tried to guard my heart that day because Tian had already settled in the deepest parts of it. At that point, there really was no turning back.