“Happy birthday, best friend.” Becca pulled me into a tight hug. “Sixteen years old. Isn’t it as sweet as you hoped it would be?”
I laughed at her ridiculousness. She had hit that milestone a couple of months before and had been giddy ever since. Apparently, for a lot of people, sixteen is the age that solidifies a young girl into a woman.
“Oh yeah, I feel like a changed person already. Crazy, right? And it’s only been a few hours.”
She pinched my arm. “Don’t be sarcastic, I’m serious. We’re one year closer to graduating and going out into the world on our own. We’ll need to start thinking about college soon and how we want to spend the rest of our lives. Sixteen starts the domino effect of all the things the universe has planned for us. It’s a big freaking deal Jade.”
I sighed dramatically. “Fine, I guess you have a point. Of course I’m happy. You know just as well as anyone how excited I am for college, though I have no idea what I’m going to do once I get there.”
“Well, it’s a good thing we have like two years to figure it out,” she reassured. “Do you have any plans tonight?”
“Just dinner with my parents and the usual cake,” I said with a casual shrug.
“Why you decided to forego a party, I’ll never understand.” She huffed.
“That’s just not me. Besides, we have that game tonight and you know there’s always a handful of parties as it is. I promise, me not having one, isn’t going to ruin your Friday night.”
“Ugh, fine. You’re right.” She smiled. “So, any plans with that mysterious man of yours? Though I still have reservations, I’m trying—keyword trying—to be supportive.”
“We’ll probably meet up tomorrow, the usual.” I hoped, anyway. Jessica was due soon and Tian had been spending most of his free time with her. My heart ached at the reminder. But I couldn’t be mad or hurt, could I? He was being there for her, doing what he felt was right.
It wasn’t easy on him, I could tell. He spent most of his free time with her when he wasn’t at work, except for his Saturdays, of course. Those were always reserved for me. For now, anyway.
“You still don’t spend any other day but Saturday together?” Becca asked, eyes narrowing.
“I mean, of course we have, I can just count on one hand the number of times that was and still have a couple of fingers left over.” I looked away from her as I said this, a little embarrassed at my situation or relationship or whatever the heck it was with Tian. I didn’t understand it myself, and I hated the way my best friend’s eyes turned to pity and judgement whenever I said anything out loud to her. She was the sensible side of me, and she didn’t like my predicament anymore than I did, which is why I think I kept him a secret from everyone else. Of course I knew what we had wasn’t ideal, but I liked him. A lot. And I liked what we had, most of the time anyway. It was easy to forget how not normal and complicated things were when we hung out one on one. But moments like these? They made me doubt him and myself, so I avoided them as much as possible.
To be fair, I was almost certain he wasn’t yelling off of any rooftops about our thing either. I mean, we were almost two years in and I felt like a mistress more than anything else half of the time.
I shivered.
No.
I wasn’t going to do this to myself. We were happy and in love, and that was the most important thing, right?
Right.
“Earth to Jade? Hello?” I looked at my best friend, rolling my eyes at her sass. “Ah, there she is. Why do you always space out when I mention anything about your relationship with Sebastian? I don’t get it.”
“It’s just a complicated situation and when I think of it outside of the go-lucky place he and I have been hiding in, it makes me question everything,” I said honestly.
“What does that tell you, Jade?”
“I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
“You’re dang right I am.” Her finger flew up, her tell that things were about to get serious and that she wasn’t going to hold anything back. I braced myself. “It tells you that maybe you’re spending your time with the wrong guy. I mean, we’re cheerleaders and we’re cute and fun and there are guys at our own school, our own age, who try to get to know you but you always blow them off. Every single time. There are guys who would let you into their lives, not keep you out of it like Sebastian or Tian or whatever his name is has.”
Tears burned behind my eyes, but I blinked them away, clearing my throat. She wasn’t wrong, but that didn’t make her words hurt any less. The truth was always painful to hear, especially when you hid from it for as long as I had.
“I think I love him, Becca.” I admitted softly, saying the words aloud for the first time. “How am I supposed to just walk away from that?”
She sighed. “I just think you need to live your life beyond him. You wait for him to call or text, and you put all your energy into him when we aren’t at practice or games or even school, but sometimes even then your mind is on him and not on your own life, on the things right in front of you.”
I flicked away an escaped tear. “I get what you’re saying, I do. And I’m going to talk to him because it is sketchy. Of course I know this, but you’re right. I should be making more of an effort in my everyday life.”
“Okay, Jade.” She smiled, giving me a long, tight hug. “Now, it’s your birthday, and I know your Saturdays are typically reserved for him but would you be willing to have a girls’ day with me instead?”
“It’s the only time I get to spend any time with him, Becca,” I said apologetically.
“I know, I know, but when was the last time we did anything fun outside of school or cheer?” She pouted, pleading with me. “You’re my best friend and I’m almost positive that in another life we were sisters or something closer, and I miss hanging out with you.”
I blew out a breath, unsure of what to do but knowing what the right thing was. She was my best friend and one of the most important people in my life.
Before I could say anything, she said, “Please, Jade. I won’t beg for anything else for at least a month.”
That made me bark out a laugh. She was insane, but she was also the greatest, so really, my decision should have been a no-brainer.
I sighed dramatically. “I mean, I don’t know…”
“Jade, can you please take me out of my misery? Pleaaaaaase.”
She looked so hopeful that I couldn’t find it in me to do anything other than agree. Besides, one Saturday away from him wouldn’t be the end of the world, would it?
Wrong. So, so wrong.