It has been a week since I left Mark, but it feels so much longer than that. I feel like I have lost a part of me. He texts me all the time checking that I am okay. He calls every night after work, and we chat for hours. I miss him; I do not feel right without him around me. I want to feel his arms wrapped around me and holding me tight.

Tonight I do not have my normal phone call with Mark because he is at a charity event that he has organized. Mark told me that the event would have a lot of press coverage, so I should keep an eye out in the papers. He is a very busy man. I am surprised he has time to talk to me every night. I cannot help but think he is not getting much work done. I am proud of him though because he works hard. He is not a selfish person at all.

I don’t know if I should feel like this. It’s so weird without him here. He is miles away from me. I have not seen him in a week; I have not spent time around him. How has this man gotten under my skin so quickly and deeply?  I just don’t understand. The feelings I had for him while I was there are the same. I find myself checking my phone so much, hoping it’s him every time I hear it chime.

The event tonight is a charity auction, and there will be many expensive items up for bidding. Mark told me that he had hired a top DJ for after the auction. The DJ is being nice and doing it free of charge. He is the most wanted man in the world of DJ’s, so Mark had been very lucky to get him. He has worked for many big companies and featured on multiple top ten songs. People who are attending the event paid a lot of money for an invite to the auction and dinner. Mark is very excited about the whole thing, and I am so proud of all that he has accomplished. 

Mark plans on coming up next weekend to see me. I don’t know if I want him to. I know I have feelings for him, but I have had too much heartache in my life. I am snapped out of my thoughts by my mobile beeping, and I see that Mark has messaged me. 

Hi baby, how’s your night going? I just got here. The event is very busy. I am missing you though. I wish you were here with me. Hugs and kisses for you and bump. Xx 

Hi Mark, I watched a film, now going to have a long relaxing bath. Have a fun night.

I am shocked to hear from him this late. I am sure he said the event started at half six. It is seven now. I get up off the sofa, feeling a twinge in my stomach. “Ouch,” I mumble as I sit back down and wait for the pain to subside. Maybe this is one of the Braxton-Hicks. It can’t be. It is excessively early to be feeling these kinds of things. On the other hand, can it be? I choose not to check the internet as it could be anything. I am six months now. It could be wind. I am just so happy I had a holiday to use up before I went on maternity leave because I don’t think I could work now. I seem to have grown a lot and quickly. I had already chosen to go on leave at seven and a half months. I didn’t want to push myself too far. I have been lucky the new holiday allowance just started, so I have a full year’s holiday leave to use and then the year on maternity leave that I plan to take. I cannot leave “Bump” as a baby. I still do not get how some people can leave them from six weeks old.

I lie there with my hand on “Bump”. I know she and I are going to be okay because I am never going to let anyone hurt her. She is my world, and she is not even here yet. John is not going to hurt her like he hurt me. Jenny will help me if I ever need assistance. She will do anything for me, as I will for her. She is the only person I have told all my secrets.

I reach for my baby names book to look through the names. Some names are so common these days, and I know so many people who have used most of them. Every page is full of names, but not many jump out at me. I think this is going to be the hardest task I ever have to do. I know people say, as soon as you see the baby, you will know for sure. A few names jump out at me and I do like them, but none of them seem right now.

Putting the book back down, I slowly get back up and head over to place a film in. There is nothing better than curling up with a blanket watching a chick flick. It will help pass the time I would normally be busy talking to Mark. We can all wish that our lives would turn out like a romantic, chick flick, fairy tale story. Who knows? Mark might be my Prince Charming. I start to giggle as if I would think that.

The film finishes, I stand up, turn everything off, lock up, and head upstairs for a long soak in the bath. I tend to relax while lying in the bath. Reaching the top of the stairs, I walk into the bathroom, placing the plug into the bath, letting the water start to run, and pouring a little bit of bubble bath in. The fragrance hits me. It’s sweet lavender flowers and will relax me. I leave the water running and go over to my room, grabbing my pyjamas and dressing gown. I walk back into the bathroom, placing my phone on the side with music playing from it. I climb slowly and carefully into the bath for a long, relaxing soak.

I don’t know how long I have been in the bath, but I must get out. The water has gone cold, and I am all wrinkly like a shrimp. Slowly I get out of the bath, dry myself off, and dress in my warm nightwear. I walk over to my room. I am too awake now to sleep. I am going to curl up on my bed and read for a bit, just a couple of chapters and I should be asleep. Lying in bed, all warm, I can see the time. Remembering Mark’s schedule for the event, I know roughly what he should be doing and where they will be. I just hope it goes really well. He told me it’s the first event his sister Mia will be attending. She sounds like such a nice girl. She is still in college trying to further her education. She wants to own a business like Mark, or have Mark own it, but have her own fashion range. Mark says she is talented at drawing. Her designs are used in art shows. I did have a look at some of them. She is gifted, and her designs are simple and elegant, nothing that makes you wonder what she was on when she did them. She seems like someone I might get along with, and I wonder if I will ever meet his family. I am not sure I want to. I don’t think having “Bump” will go down so well with them. His parents seem very posh.