“Come with me, Lucy,” I say, bending down and swiping her off her feet. I walk into the hallway and run up the stairs to find Warren sitting on the ottoman at the side of the stairs, looking down at his phone.

“What’s wrong?” I question.

“Nothing,” he replies.

“Tell me the truth,” I say, taking a seat next to him.

“My ex lost a baby on Christmas Eve last year, so today has been very hard on me. I really don’t know if she was pregnant or not. She told me she was and then the next minute she left me. She just said the baby was dead, and it was all my fault. But, she was sleeping with an ex-college mate of mine named Branden. He’s everything a girl wants—money, brains, and a six pack. He’s a total show-off. I have the so-called scan picture of the baby, but I’m not sure that it’s real. Someone told me she had done it before to another guy. She is supposed to be on the pill, but I just don’t know.” He looks up at me. “It’s a blessing though because I have Jenny now. She’s a woman that I have such amazing feelings for, but I still wonder. I wanna know the truth. I do want to know if the baby was mine, and I also want to know if Jenny’s is mine.”

“Have you ever asked your ex?”

“Yes, loads of times. She will not give me a straight answer; she just says, ‘if I did, it’s your fault anyway.’”

“Honestly, I would think of happy times because you may never know the truth,” I say, wrapping my arm around him.

“Thank you, Megan.”

“You’re welcome. Now, I’m going to change this little miss.”

“Can you show me how to change her?” Warren asks.

I stand up, making Lucy take steps along the floor and holding her hands while walking behind her. “Of course, sorry about the view.”

Warren laughs. “I hadn’t really noticed it, but now I have. Have you got on underwear?”

“Oi! Cheeky twat, yes, I do.”

“Sorry, I had to ask.” He pauses. “What do I need?”

“Nappy from over there and the wipes are below the changing table. Do you want to pick out a Christmas baby grow from that drawer? We’re going to get her changed, and then she can just get messy again,” I state, lifting Lucy into the air and making her giggle.

I stand there watching Warren, telling him every little bit. He soon gets the hang of what he is meant to be doing. I leave him to change her clothes with no worries; he knows what he is doing. I can trust him. I still don’t know what to do about John. I can’t have him after my daughter, and I definitely can’t have him saying nasty things to her in the future. Yes, she is our child, but why can’t he be an adult? He did the damage himself. I feel a tear begin to roll down my cheek.

“Will you be okay here?” I ask.

“Yes, then we can go and get those stockings opened,” he says, tickling her tummy.

“Thank you, Warren. I’m going to take a five-minute walk. I need some time to myself,” I inform him.

I creep downstairs and grab my coat. I walk straight out of the back door. I slip my phone into my pocket and just walk.  There are so many lights on; some people have decorated their entire house, while others just adorned the simple tree.  Snowmen of all different shapes and sizes are dressed up in varied designs. They line the streets like soldiers, protecting the houses. I can’t help but smile.

I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone.

“Hi, Mark.”

“I’m okay. I needed five minutes to myself.”

“What? It’s been an hour already?”

“I’m on my way.”

I can’t believe I have been gone an hour. I don’t even remember how I got here. I look up to see miles and miles of fields with animals in them. I turn around and start walking. It takes a while before I notice anything familiar. I hear my phone chirp, alerting me of an incoming text.

Baby, I’m getting worried. X

Mark, I’ll be home soon. I had walked farther than I thought. Can you get the food out on the table for me? Then, everyone can start eating. X

I turn onto the path that goes down to my house and see Mark standing there. He’s been waiting for me. Running to me, he grabs me firmly around the waist. “I thought you were gone,” he says, pulling me closer.

“No, I needed time to think. I just don’t know what to do with the John thing.”

“Forget him. He can’t touch you or Lucy. We will cross the rest of the bridges when we get there as a family.”