I should be getting married in sixteen days, but instead, today I am cancelling everything. I slide up in the bed lifting a pillow to place behind my back. I reach over for my mobile.

It’s 9 a.m. I check through my messages. I am happy to see there is nothing from Rich. I go back to find my daily to do alert.

16 days to go list:

Flowers

Wedding Favours

Thank you gifts

Thank you cards

Tears roll down my face. My dream day is gone. There is no way I can cope with all of this, it is just too hard. I have always wanted to be married, always wanted to have a day set aside just for us. Today is meant to be a girly day for Megan, Lucy, Mia and me.  We are going shopping and having lunch away from the boys to sort out the list.

I need to return to my house to pick up all the contact numbers and ring or text everyone regarding the change of plans. My mind is racing all over the place. I want to be alone to sleep, but I also feel the need for someone to hold me. More importantly, I want everything finished so I can get on with my new life. Just me, myself and I.

I slide onto the side of the bed, taking it slow. Megan has given me some of her clothes, but I need my own. I inch down the bed and grab some black leggings and a white jumper. That will do. I could care less what I look like right now anyway. I take them over the landing to the bathroom. I apply some mascara and make my eyes smoky, so maybe people won’t notice I have been crying. I step out of the bathroom and straight into Mark.

“Good morning, Jenny,” he says in a cheerful manner.

“Can tell you got some last night, Mr. Cheerful,” I comment before laughing. “Morning.”

“Well, maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. How did you sleep?” He asks.

“Really well, thank you. I crashed.”

“Great. I’ll see you downstairs for breakfast.” He jumps down the stairs. I am surprised he does not hurt himself.

Breakfast goes really quickly. I don’t want to eat, but do just to keep the peace.

“Change of plans, Jenny. You and I are off to sort out the stuff. Mark’s going to collect your car and drop it off at Rich’s,” Megan states.

“Thank you.”

“Let’s get on. Sooner we start, the sooner it’s over with,” Megan says while grabbing her keys before walking over to Lucy and giving her a little kiss.

“I love you, baby.” I stand there watching Megan with her. She was born to be a mum.

We head out to the car. “We are going in Mark’s. More room for your things. The seats are already down and ready to roll,” she states.

The journey to what used to be my house does not take long. I just sit there with my eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. I really don’t want to be around people, but I need help with moving everything today.

“We are here, but so is Rich,” Megan announces. I open my eyes and take a deep breath.

“Can you give me ten, just to talk to him please, hun?” I ask.

“Of course.”

I climb out of the car and knock on the door. About a minute later, Rich opens the door.

“Why didn’t you use your keys?” He asks, standing at the door in his favourite red tracksuit.

“It’s not my house,” I state.

“Come on. It’s ours.” He moves to the side.

I walk in through the door looking at everything I did to make the house perfect. I spent months decorating this place making it like the dream home I had always wanted to raise our children in.

“Okay, it’s over. You are with Chad. That’s it,” I state.

“But…Jenny,” Rich stutters.

“But what?”

“I love you. I always have.”

“You’re fucking gay!” I scream at him.

“I’m bisexual.”

“Finally admitting something,” I state, placing my hands on my hips.

“I will still marry you, be with you.”

“Do you really love me, Rich?” I question.

“No.” He looks down at the floor.

“There you go. That answers everything. I will get my stuff and leave,” I state.

I turn around to head upstairs when Rich grabs hold of my arm. “Why are you not shouting and screaming at me?”

“I have no energy. I’m tired, and I feel sick. My head hurts, my chest hurts. I just don’t care anymore. I’m losing everything all at once. You have changed, Rich.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not. You’re happy. You get to be with Chad.”

“Don’t be like that,” he states.

“How long?”

“How long what?”

“Have you been fucking him?” I fold my arms.

“About eight months now.”

“What?”

“Just after my birthday party that you surprised me with.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I was scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“This.” He makes a motion with his hands between the two of us.

“You’re not losing anything. Your family will be fine with it all.”

“I’m sorry,” he states.

“Go get Megan, will you? I’m off to pack.” I walk away. Tears begin flooding my face as soon as I reach the top step.

“Jenny, are you all right?” Megan asks.

I nod. “Let’s do this.”

It does not take long for us to pack my clothes, pictures, jewelry and other important items. Rich leaves us alone to do it. Megan places everything into the car while I see Rich for one last time.

“Here.” I stand at the front room door.

Rich walks towards me. “Your house keys and ring. Mark will drop off the car key with the car when he brings it.”

“Thank you.”

“Goodbye, Rich.”

I turn around and walk out of my house. My dream house. My life is gone. Where do I go from here?