“Megan,” I say as I walk through the door.

“In the kitchen, honey,” she replies.

I place my bag on the hallway floor, close the front door quietly so as not to wake Lucy and head straight into the kitchen. Tears pool in my eyes to the point I’m unable to see anything. I lower myself to the floor against one of her cupboards.

“Jenny, what’s wrong?” I hear her say as her footsteps get closer.

I sit there with my head resting on my knees and tears now rolling down my face. I’m unable to speak then I feel Megan’s arm wrap around me.

“Shhh, it will be okay,” she whispers in my ear.

“Jenny, come into the front room.” She pauses. “We can talk in there.”

I don’t move. Questions begin plaguing my thoughts.  How can I tell her? Is she going to be mad at me? Have I ended our friendship over some secrets? Will she ever trust me again? Is she going to be mad at Rich? I shouldn’t be here; I should have stayed home where I can’t hurt anyone else or lose people from my life. I feel safe around Megan, though. I don’t understand how she makes me feel safe. She just does. She will do anything for me.

I hear Lucy crying in the background. “Shhh, Jenny.” She pauses. “I’ll be two minutes.” I hear her footsteps move towards the stairs. Over the baby monitor, I hear her with Lucy.

“Shhh, Lucy, what’s all this noise about?” She pauses. “Shall we go find Auntie Jenny? Give her some special cuddles?” Please don’t bring Lucy with you. I take a deep breath; I can’t look like a mess, not around Lucy. I don’t want her thinking the world is all bad.

“Hey, Jen,” she says in a soft delicate manner.

I stand up slowly and turn to Megan. “Hey, beautiful Lucy,” I say, fighting back tears and rubbing under my eyes.

“Come sit down,” she states.

I go ahead of them, taking a seat on Megan’s black fabric corner sofa. She always said she was going to get a corner sofa. She never had plans for this one, but it’s easier to clean with a new baby in the house.

“What happened?” She questions.

“Rich,” I state.

“What happened?” She repeats herself.

“He’s changed.” I look down at my lap and fidget with my fingers. I need the distraction if I am really going to go through with telling her.

After placing Lucy in her baby bouncer, Megan sits on the sofa and looks at me, waiting for details.

“He just rushes sex, no cuddles, no kisses, no anything.” I blurt out.

“Do you think it could be wedding nerves?” She questions, placing her hand on top of mine.

“No idea. He kissed you,” I state while looking directly at her.

“Please don’t remind me.” Megan pulls a face of disgust.

“It was all over the fact he thought he might have feelings for Chad.”


“Chad!” She yells.

“Yes, Chad.” I nod.

“What?” She covers her mouth in shock.

“There was a fight, and they got close,” I add.

“Oh my.” She shakes her head.

“I just don’t know what’s going on, Meg,” I state.

“Do you love him?” She asks.

“I think I do. I just don’t want to get hurt.” I tilt my head back down to my knees.

“Place the wedding off then,” she firmly states.

“What? And waste all the money?”

“It’s only money.” She kindly points out.

“True.” I agree with her because she is right. Money is only money. I don’t need the money from the wedding.

“You don’t want to be standing there on your wedding day with Rich deciding he doesn’t want to go through with it,” she adds.

“Megan, I just don’t know.” A tear rolls down my check.

She places her arms around me, giving me a big hug. “I love you, sis.”

A little later, she settles Lucy in bed while I take a nice warm shower. It’s much needed time alone with my thoughts. I turn on the water while looking through Megan’s collection of toiletries. This woman has it all. I choose a two-in-one shampoo and conditioner and some strawberry body wash. I love the smell of strawberries. I slowly stand in the shower, letting the water wash away my tears as they fall.