Sean

The day since I had seen Jess and made the arrangements for the paternity test had passed in an excruciating blur. I always prided myself on not taking things too seriously, but that usual calm had been nowhere to be found.

Instead, my mind had ricocheted from disbelief to excitement.

A kid?

I’d never even considered the idea, and though it scared the fuck out of me, it might be fun. Still, the potential fun was tempered by the fact that I had no clue how to raise a child. I didn’t even know where to begin.

All of that was enough to deal with on its own, but when I thought of Jess…

It was crazy, ridiculous, but she’d taken more than her fair share of space in my thoughts.

She loved Jake.

I had absolutely no question about that. But I wondered what else there was to her, who she was. I wanted to know her, and that confused the hell out of me too.

Outside of Grace and my brothers, I didn’t know people or let them know me. I liked to keep things fun, surface, and had no interest in going beyond that. But with Jess, something told me that surface interaction wouldn’t do. I suspected I wouldn’t be content until I knew all there was to know of her, and I had no idea what to do with that feeling.

I’d figure it out, or at least I hoped I would.

For now, though, I parked in front of the tall office building. I’d left my two-seater at home, so I looked out of my SUV’s windows at my surroundings before getting out. I tried not to think about the fact that I wasn’t even sure if Jake was my son and I was already making concessions for him.

Or the fact that I was doing so to please Jess.

Yes, I wanted Jake to be safe and comfortable, but I never again wanted to see the look that Jess had had on her face when she’d first seen my car. I wanted her to trust me, and this was the first step.

I tried not to think about that, and instead focused on what was to come. In my mind, this test was merely a formality. That connection, that feeling of familiarity had only gotten stronger, and somehow, I just knew what the test would say.

I leaned against the building, waiting, and about five minutes later, Jess turned the corner. She held Jake’s hand tight in her own as he skipped next to her, happy, oblivious in a way I could never recall being.

Jess was anything but.

She kept her gait smooth, her face impassive, but the tension that rolled off her was palpable. She was dreading this, dreading me, and that stung.

I swallowed that sting, though. It was temporary. She’d get used to me and so would Jake.

“Sean!” Jake yelled when he saw me. He looked back at Jess and when she let his hand go, he sprinted to me.

“Hey, buddy!” I said as I scooped him up, my heart thudding at how natural this already seemed.

I set him down. “How was the field trip?” I asked.

He brightened, bouncing from side to side with his excitement. “It was the best. We got to feed the ducks!”

“That’s great, Jake!” I said, ruffling his hair, feeling an easy sense of connection.

When Jess came to a stop just behind Jake and put her hands on his shoulders, I looked at her.

“Hello, Sean,” she said stiffly.

“Jess, you should have let me pick you up.”

The words were barely out of my mouth before Jess shook her head. “That wasn’t necessary,” she said.

Conscious of Jake, I kept the scowl off my face, but I was annoyed. Jess was stubborn, but she was going to have to get over it.

“Are you ready?” she asked.

I nodded. “Let’s go.”

I opened the door and ushered her and Jake in and to the elevators. I’d made special arrangements to expedite the test, so when we reached the lab, I nodded at the receptionist and continued to the back.

The technician greeted me and led Jake, Jess, and me to a small, crowded room.

“This will just be a minute, Mr. Murphy,” he said.

Jess glanced at me, her expression asking the questions her mouth didn’t. It was clear she wondered what was happening, but instead of explaining, I simply flashed her a smile.

“So this is the doctor’s office? This doesn’t look like the regular doctor’s office,” Jake said, looking around curiously.

“It is a doctor’s office. It’s just a special one,” Jess said, patting his shoulder.

“Am I gonna get a shot?” he asked, looking at her warily.

“No, I told you no shots,” she said.

“Promise?” he asked.

“I promise,” she said in a soft voice that radiated warmth and security, one that made me believe her. Jake visibly relaxed, now eying the room with even more curiosity, though he didn’t touch anything even though it was clear he wanted to.

I couldn’t focus on him too much, however, my own mind swirling with everything that was going on.

The technician returned with two sealed containers that held equipment.

“You ready, little man?” he asked Jake.

Jake looked at Jessica, who nodded. “He’s just going to rub the inside of your cheek and you’ll be done. No shots,” she said.

Jake opened his mouth and the technician swabbed both of his cheeks, then put the cotton swab in a plastic envelope. Then he repeated the same process with me and less than five minutes after we had arrived, we were done.

“We’ll have the results tomorrow?” I whispered to the technician as Jess quietly talked to Jake.

“Tomorrow,” he confirmed.

I nodded and then led Jake and Jessica out of the clinic.

“See? I told you it was going to be easy,” Jess said, nudging Jake as she smiled down at him.

He smiled, then looked at Jess with big, hopeful eyes. “Can we go to the park?” he asked.

I loved this kid. I was groping for an excuse to extend this trip, and he’d just served one up.

“I haven’t been to the park in forever! Would you like to show me around?” I asked.

“Yes!” Jake exclaimed, lifting his arms high.

Jess threw daggers at me with her glare. “Only for a little while, Jake,” she said. Then she looked at me. “Spring Lake Park. We’ll meet you there.”

“Nonsense,” I said, reaching for Jake’s hand, my heart squeezing when he took mine with no hesitation, “my car’s right here.”

“There is no car seat for Jake,” she said. “And no room for one, either.”

“Nope. There’s plenty of room. And I got a car seat yesterday,” I said, nodding at the SUV that would comfortably seat a family of eight.

Jess’s frown deepened, but I didn’t take it personally. She was only worried about Jake.

“Fine,” she said tightly as she grudgingly walked toward the car.

* * *

Jess

Jake and I had spent a couple of hours at the park with Sean, followed by an impromptu dinner with Sean after Jake had proclaimed his hunger. We’d gone to a burger joint that catered to children, where, to my surprise, Sean had looked completely comfortable.

Now, after I had finally gotten Jake in bed, I collapsed on the couch, physically alert but mentally exhausted.

My gut was churning, but the truth that was facing me was undeniable. The test results were a formality as far as I was concerned. But, I was no closer to figuring out what that meant for Jake and for me.

When it came to Jake, Sean seemed to have the best of intentions, and despite myself, that endeared him to me. But it was also the source of my concern. Because the life I’d built was changing, shifting under my very feet, and I was powerless to stop it.

About a half hour after I’d lain on the couch, the front door swung open and a furious Misty marched in. She stopped in front of the couch and glared at me.

“I got your message,” she said sarcastically. “I don’t appreciate you taking my kid to get a DNA test without my permission, Jess.”

In her angry voice and expression, I thought I saw the mother I knew Misty could be, the mother that Jake deserved, but I was in no mood for her crap and definitely in no mood to defend myself. “I called you fourteen times. You didn’t answer.”

“Then you should have called fifteen,” she said, pouting.

Despite her reaction, I knew that I had made my point. I sat up, and she dropped down beside me.

“So what do you think?” she asked, studying me.

I sighed, wondering how it had come to this, but knowing the only thing I could do was move forward. “I don’t know that it means anything, but I think Jake is his.”

“I freakin’ hope so,” she said.

I laughed, happy that Misty and I agreed on this. “I don’t know the other candidates, but if I had to guess, I’d say Sean is the best choice,” I said.

“Oh my God! You have no idea,” she said.

I giggled, amused, but the sound was also a reaction the overwhelming emotion of these last days. “He seems like a decent guy,” I responded.

“Yeah, he’s nice enough. But don’t let that fool you,” she said, turning serious.

“What? Does he have a temper or something?” I asked.

I didn’t know how I would deal with that, and I didn’t want Jake around someone with a short fuse.

“Sean? No. He’s pretty easygoing. But it’s not all bubbles and light,” Misty said.

“What does that mean?” I asked, my stomach clenching as I looked at her.

“You’re serious?” she asked, gaping at me. “You’ve never heard of him or his family?”

“No,” I said, my trepidation growing.

Misty rolled her eyes and looked at me like she felt sorry for me for being so dense. “Don’t you remember that hotel that burned downtown? M. Lounge and Hotel?”

“No,” I said.

“Christ, Jess. Yeah, Sean’s brother Michael supposedly burned it down and had the general manager killed,” she said, her voice low but her eyes bright with excitement. “The Murphys are huge in the mob.”

“The mob? Like, the mafia? As in criminals?” I asked, my voice rising before I lowered it, not wanting to wake Jake. But even though I was quiet, my mind was reeling. I hadn’t considered what a mobster would be like, but Sean certainly wouldn’t be what I would expect. And then there was the not small matter of Misty being completely nonplussed by this piece of information.

“Yup,” Misty said like it was nothing at all.

“You got pregnant by a mobster?” I said, shaking my head in disbelief. I loved Misty, but sometimes, more times than I cared to admit, I didn’t understand her. And this was definitely one of those times.

“Yeah,” she responded, giggling.

“Misty…” I said.

“What, Jess? I mean, he’s not some random mugger or burglar. He’s so…classy,” she said with a sigh.

“Classy, Misty? Really? Only you would call a criminal ‘classy,’” I said.

I frowned but stayed quiet, knowing there was nothing else I could do. Misty never did anything halfway, so I wasn’t surprised that this was no different.

After a moment, I spoke. “Misty, I can’t believe this. And you left Jake with him? What if Jake had been in danger? And if he’s Jake’s father, what if he puts him in danger in the future?”

“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that,” she said.

“What do you mean?” I asked, wondering at the tone of her voice.

“I mean, I don’t think he’s going to be taking Jake to softball and shit,” Misty said.

“What? You think he’s just going to forget about him?” I asked, wondering if Misty could be so deluded. While I had gathered her relationship with Sean hadn’t been one that involved a lot of soul-deep connection, it seemed apparent to me that Sean wouldn’t just fade away.

“It wouldn’t surprise me. But I guess we’ll see,” she said.

She went silent then and started flipping through the channels, seeming unbothered by everything that was happening. But that was Misty’s way, and one of the things I loved about her—at least most of the time.

For as far back as I could remember, Misty had been the one to push me to lighten up, have fun, live life without so much worry. And I’d needed that and still did, though I’d never quite managed to take to it with the fervor she did.

I also knew that at least for now this topic was closed, which meant I was left with my own thoughts.

I didn’t agree with Misty’s assessment. In fact, I was certain that Sean would be anything but the hands-off father she was expecting.

Which meant I needed to be prepared.

* * *

Jess

I wasn’t prepared.

I moved through my shift the next morning on autopilot, my stomach twisting as I waited, knowing that everything was about to change. I hadn’t had the foresight to ask how I would get the results, something I regretted now. I’d kept my cell phone in my pocket and checked it obsessively to make sure I hadn’t missed a call.

By the time my shift was over, I was an anxious mess. I clocked out and left the restaurant, deciding I’d walk for a bit before I went to get Jake.

“Jessica Roberts.”

I froze at the sound of my name but then relaxed when I saw the recognizable uniform of a deliveryman. Tensed again when I realized what that meant.

“Yes,” I said.

“This is for you,” the man said as he pushed an envelope into my hands.

I nodded, but wasn’t really paying any attention. Instead I began to walk, the envelope clenched tight in my fingers. I walked for blocks, and then, finally, when I accepted that there was no way for me to outrun this, I stepped inside a busy coffee shop and headed straight for an empty table.

After I sat, I turned the envelope over and over in my hands. And then, before I lost my courage, I ripped it open and scanned the results, knowing what they would say, feeling my heart drop when it was confirmed.

Sean Murphy was Jake’s father.

My eyes began to well with tears, but I didn’t dare let them fall.

Instead, I tried to consider the possibilities. Sean had seemed interested and had been proactive so far, but that might change. Knowing the truth, he might decide he wanted no part of this and be content to leave Jake and Misty and me just like he’d found us.

I let out a bitter snort.

No way that was happening. I wasn’t in the habit of deluding myself, so I didn’t even entertain the thought.

Sean was going to be around. There was no doubt about that, but there were plenty of doubts about everything else. According to Misty, the man was a criminal. That was my primary concern and something I’d have to figure out how to address. I had so many others.

He seemed nice enough, more than, even, but I didn’t know him, and I didn’t trust him. If he insisted on exercising his parental rights, there was nothing I could do to stop him. But I could—and would—make sure Jake was protected.

No matter the cost.