Sean

“Sean,” Grace said after she’d knocked and entered the office at the back of the pub.

At the sound of her voice, I looked up, instantly recognizing something was wrong. And when I saw the expression on her face, which was both pensive and annoyed, I knew I’d been right.

“What the fuck is it now?” I muttered.

“Nothing good,” she responded.

I frowned but then followed her out of the office and back into the pub.

I didn’t know when my place had become a fucking social club, but every time I turned around it seemed someone new was dropping in on me.

Or, in this case, someone old, and someone I had no interest in seeing.

“What the fuck do you want?” I asked in a low, angry whisper when I stopped in front of her.

“Is that any way to talk to your son’s mother?” Misty said as she lifted her fingers and gave me a soft, flirty wave.

So Jess had given Misty the news, it seemed.

I’d considered taking the results to Jess, and Misty, I supposed, though I hadn’t thought about her at all. In the end, I’d decided to send the results by courier. Cowardly perhaps, but I wanted to give Jess some space and time to grapple with them without my interference. I needed that space too. I’d known what the results would say, but having it confirmed and then trying to figure out what this all meant was something I was still working through.

That process had left me little patience for bullshit, and when I saw Misty and again realized what she had taken from me, my anger threatened to boil over.

“What the fuck do you want?” I repeated through clenched teeth, though I was certain I knew the answer to that question.

“I thought we should chat. It’s been a long time,” she said.

“Not long enough,” I replied.

“What,” she said, looking hurt, though I knew it was bullshit, “you don’t think of me as fondly as I think of you?”

“I don’t think of you at all,” I practically hissed.

Her eyes narrowed. “That’s sad, because I think of you every time I look at your little clone.”

“What do you want, Misty?” I said yet again, my patience close to snapping. She’d cost me the first four years of my son’s life. Making nice with her wasn’t at the top of my list right now.

“Seriously, Sean, we have to work on that attitude of yours,” she said.

I glared at her, not repeating myself again. She rolled her eyes, sighed, and then said, “Things are a little tight right now. I—we could use some help.”

“Then get a fucking job,” I said, somewhat impressed that she hadn’t bothered to beat around the bush. Disgusted too. I’d known what Misty was after, but having her so brazenly ask for it was distasteful.

“Sean, how am I supposed to work when I’m taking care of your kid?” she said.

“Cut the bullshit, Misty. You’re not taking care of that kid.”

“You aren’t either,” she tossed back with a fact that I couldn’t refute.

“Get the fuck out, Misty,” I said.

“Sean, what will your son think when he hears you talking to his mother like that?”

“Out,” I repeated, even closer to losing my patience, something I was determined to not let happen because of Misty.

Misty looked like she was going to argue, but Grace came from nowhere to step between us.

“Can I be of some assistance?” she asked.

Misty looked down at Grace, clearly annoyed by her presence. “What? Are you his guard dog or something?”

Grace was completely unruffled. “No. I’m the manager of this establishment. You’ve been asked to leave, so please see your way out.”

Like always, Grace’s voice was barely a whisper, but even Misty could see that she meant business.

“I thought you were supposed to be a tough guy, but you have some woman doing your dirty work for you,” she grumbled.

“Don’t come back again,” I said.

She smiled and gave me another wave. “See you later, Sean.” Then she turned on her heel and sauntered out.

When she was gone, I looked at Grace. “Thanks,” I said.

“You’re welcome,” she replied.

Then I looked back at the spot that Misty had vacated and shuddered.

“What the fuck was I thinking to have anything to do with her?” I said.

“I think the question is what were you thinking with,” Grace said.

I couldn’t do anything but shrug. Both Michael and Grace had warned me that my dick would get me in trouble one day. “You might have a point.”

“I know,” Grace responded with a ghost of a smile.

“Misty might have one too,” I said, hating to acknowledge it but knowing that it was probably true.

“What’s that?” Grace asked.

“I’ve been shirking my responsibilities. And the kid has to eat,” I said.

“Then see that he does,” Grace said.

“I will. But I’ll have to get through to Jess,” I said.

And that would be a daunting task. The woman looked at me like she’d rather pick up a snake than shake my hand. I had my work cut out for me.

“She’s tough,” Grace said, confirming what I had just thought.

“Tell me about it,” I mumbled.

“But that’s good. She cares about Jake. And I don’t want to overstep, but if I were to guess, I’d say that she’s responsible for taking care of him,” Grace said.

“Yeah, that’s what I think,” I said.

“So if you want to take care of him, do it through her. But that Misty is trouble. I wouldn’t give her money,” Grace said, frowning.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I won’t.” I looked at my watch, happy to see that it wasn’t quite too late for a visit. “You mind keeping an eye on the place for a bit?”

“Sure,” Grace said.

“Thanks,” I replied as I rushed out the door.

* * *

Jess

“Good night, sweetheart,” I said to Jake.

“’Night, Aunt Jess,” he said in his sleepy voice.

I hugged and kissed him and then left his room. He must have been exhausted because he’d gone to bed without a fight. Probably a side effect of the few extra hours we’d spent at the park today.

I’d done a lot more of that over the last couple of days, just spending time with Jake, holding on to these moments. Because I knew they would end soon.

I hadn’t heard from Sean since I’d gotten the result, and I felt like I was on pins and needles, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

So far, there had only been silence, but I knew that wouldn’t last.

I settled on my couch, looking forward to this evening. Misty was… Well, I didn’t know where Misty was, but in truth, I was happy for the quiet. I still needed to figure out what was going to happen next, but that would have to wait. For now, I wanted to catch my breath, catch up on my TV shows, and think about anything but Jake’s newfound father.

Not that I had any luck with that.

I was still trying to figure him out, even as I tried to force myself to watch TV and turn my brain off. His silence over the last day had been surprising. The three times I’d seen him, he’d made it more than clear that he wouldn’t abandon his child. But maybe he’d had a change of heart, decided that he didn’t want the hassle after all. That would be unfortunate for Jake, but it would mean I wouldn’t have to risk losing him.

One thing I hadn’t allowed myself to consider was my reaction to Sean. That silly little bubbly feeling I got when I was around him. It was completely inappropriate given the circumstances, and something I did my absolute best to ignore. What mattered here was Jake, and to some extent Misty, and my only focus was making sure they were okay.

At the knock on the door I stood.

It was somewhat shocking, but I had absolutely no doubt who was on the other side of it. I wasn’t sure why I knew, but I knew.

I walked to the door slowly, but not so slowly that he would knock again. I didn’t want him to wake Jake, so I looked through the peephole and when I saw him, his black-framed glasses gleaming in the dim light of the hallway, I took a deep breath and opened the door.

“How did you know which one was mine?” I asked. He knew the building, but I’d made sure not to reveal our exact unit, though I supposed it wasn’t too far a leap.

He chuckled.

“You want to have this conversation in the hallway?” he asked.

I shook my head and stepped inside.

To my surprise, he took the door from my hand and closed and locked it. Then he looked around the apartment.

I was so taken aback I wasn’t sure how to respond, so instead I watched him as he looked at the place. I studied his face for any sign of his reaction, trying to look at my home as he might.

Given the two different vehicles I had seen him in, and what I had found out about him, I doubted that my place was anything impressive.

In fact, it might have looked a little shabby.

I did as best I could, and Misty had a wonderful eye for decoration, but none of her efforts would make the place anything other than what it was. A well-maintained but cheaply furnished home in a less well-maintained and not nearly cheap enough apartment building.

After a long moment, he turned.

“Are you going to answer my question?” I asked.

“No. It doesn’t merit an answer,” he said.

“What does that mean?”

“You think I would let you take my son and not know where he lives?” he asked.

“Well…” I trailed off, studied him, considering. “I didn’t know if you cared.”

“And you hoped I wouldn’t,” he replied.

I said nothing, but he shook his head, his face softening into a smile that seemed easy, quick, like the expression came naturally to him.

“It’s okay. I doubt I’d be eager to have me around if I was in your shoes.”

“Are you?” I asked.

He lifted a brow.

“Are you around?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m around.”

I’d been afraid of that, but I figured there was no way I could avoid it so I would face it head-on.

“So what does that mean?” I asked after a long moment.

“It means that I’m around. And being around means seeing that my son is taken care of,” he said.

“Well,” I said, looking at our place, “you can see that he is. He has a home. His own room. Everything he needs.”

His expression told me he might not agree with that assessment, but he didn’t address it directly.

“Be that as it may,” he said, “he doesn’t eat air. And I’m sure your restaurant job doesn’t pay enough. So here.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of bills, thrust them toward me.

“What is that?”

“Money,” he said, again smiling.

“I can see that it’s money, Sean,” I said, letting out a long-suffering sigh. “Why are you giving it to me?”

“Because you take care of Jake, so you’re the one who should have it. I guess I could give it directly to him, but I have no idea what a four-year-old would spend cash on.”

“Candy and toy cars,” I supplied, thinking of how delighted Jake was when I gave him his own money to buy whatever he wanted.

His smile softened as he thought about that.

“Candy and toy cars, huh?” he finally said.

“Yeah,” I responded.

I went quiet then, thinking about something that hadn’t really occurred to me before. It must have been awful for Sean, hearing a stranger tell him something so mundane about his own child. I didn’t like it, but that moment gave me a level of empathy for him that I hadn’t had before. Misty going off and doing this had thrown me for a loop, but what must it have done to him? To find out you have a child and now have to learn about that child. It was a lot to take in, and all things considered, he seemed to be handling it well.

“Well, I don’t want him to buy five thousand toy cars, so take it,” he said, again gesturing toward me.

“I don’t—”

“That wasn’t a question, Jess,” he said.

His voice hadn’t changed, but his expression shifted ever so slightly. It seemed odd that he could do that, shift from being amused, to wistful, to stern in such a short period of time. But he had, and looking at him now I knew that defying him would be futile.

“Okay,” I said, some part of me worried that taking the money would make this real even though there was no doubt that it was. “I’ll pay for preschool with it.”

“He’s at a church, right?” Sean asked.

I looked at him and then shook my head. “You really did your research,” I said.

“Always,” he responded.

“Yeah, he’s at the church,” I said as I took the bills from him and set them on the coffee table.

“I looked at the cost. How have you afforded it?” he asked.

“They have a couple of scholarship programs. I got on the waiting list for one when he was six months old,” I said.

“Foresight,” Sean said, looking impressed, something that I liked far too much.

“Yeah. It seemed like a smart thing to do,” I responded.

“It was,” he said.

He looked at me for another moment, then asked, “What about Misty?”

“What about her?” I asked.

In the days since I had met Sean, I tried to understand what had attracted him to her. I could clearly see what had attracted her to him. He was handsome, undeniably so. He seemed like a nice guy. He obviously had a little money in his pocket, which would make him like catnip to Misty.

But the other way…

Misty was beautiful, so beautiful that it sometimes made me jealous. But given what I knew of Sean, he didn’t seem like the type to be swayed by her looks without consideration for the person underneath. But then again, what did I know of Sean? He might’ve been like everyone else, looked at Misty and been instantly enamored.

I cut off the train of thought, knowing that it would lead nowhere useful. And instead, I looked at Sean.

“Misty’s here sometimes,” I said.

“Sometimes?” He arched an eyebrow.

“Yeah. She’s seeing someone new, so she’s spending a lot of time with him,” I said.

“Is that good for Jake?” Sean asked.

“Trust me, I do everything I can to make sure Jake is fine,” I said, getting defensive.

“I’m not saying you don’t. I’m just asking about his environment,” Sean said, sounding so reasonable that I was vaguely embarrassed by my response.

“Sean, I…”

“Look, Jess,” Sean said, filling the space that I had left empty, “I’m not trying to question you. And I know you have his best interests at heart. I’m just trying to understand the situation and figure out a way to fit in to it.”

“Okay,” I said.

“You’re not going to try to stand in the way of that, are you?” he asked.

“What do you mean ‘stand in the way’?”

“Misty paid me a little visit today,” Sean said.

“For what?” I asked.

“She wanted money,” he said flatly.

I frowned, annoyed but not surprised.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your job to apologize for her, and in that at least, she was right,” he said.

“How so?”

“I mean Jake is my responsibility, and I will take care of him. But I’d feel better dealing with you because I know that you’ll see he’s taken care of,” Sean said.

“Misty will too, you know,” I muttered, though even I could hear my lack of conviction.

“Whatever you say, Jess,” he responded, his disbelief palpable. “Oh,” he said a moment later, snapping his fingers.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“I’m sorry I went quiet for a bit there. It’s just… I was processing,” he said.

“I know,” I responded.

“That ends today, though. I’m here now, a part of his life,” Sean said.

“I know,” I said.

He nodded approvingly. “Good. Are you going to help with that, or are you going to try to stand in my way?”

“Sean, I know you don’t know me, but know that I would never stand between Jake and his father. Even if I didn’t know you existed a week ago.”

“So you’re going to work with me? Make sure Jake and I have a chance to get to know each other?” he asked.

I looked at him, knowing that my life, Jake’s life had changed, and Sean’s had too.

Maybe it would be easier to say no, to try to pretend that Sean didn’t exist, to maybe find a way to keep them apart. But I couldn’t do that. I wouldn’t do that. This wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot, but I knew better than most how much family mattered, how much it hurt to not have one. I’d spare Jake from that as much as I could.

But I had to ask some questions first.

“Is Jake going to be in danger?” I asked, deciding not to beat around the bush.

He frowned but when he looked at me, I could see he understood what I was asking.

“You’ve been doing some research of your own, huh?” he asked, his voice not giving me any insight into how he was reacting to my question.

“I’m concerned about Jake. So it’s true?” I said.

“What’s true?” he asked.

“You’re a…” I trailed off, trying to settle on the right word and coming up short.

“A pub owner?” Sean said.

I scowled but managed to bite back my groan of frustration. Sean knew what I was asking and why, and this was far too important for him to play coy. “You know that’s not what I’m asking,” I said, disbelieving that I was even having to ask this question, annoyed that Sean seemed to be toying with me.

“I don’t know what you’re asking, but this is what I’ll tell you. Whatever I am, nothing, nothing will happen to Jake,” he said.

I stayed silent, studying him, wondering what to say. It might be madness, but my instinct was to trust him. Still, I stayed quiet for a moment longer and then finally nodded at him.

“Yeah, I’ll work with you, Sean,” I said.

Sean smiled, then stuck out his hand.

I looked at it for a moment, then reached out, and he closed my hand in his.

He gave a brief shake, and the moment was electric, the sensation of his palm against mine; his strong, somewhat calloused hand against my skin was like a jolt.

I pulled my hand away quickly, tried to ignore the tingling sensation that remained though we were no longer touching, knowing that was futile.

“So we’re going to make this work, right?” he said after a long moment.

“Right,” I responded, my voice hopefully not giving away what I was feeling inside.

“Is he asleep?” Sean asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “Do you want to go look in on him?”

Sean nodded quietly, his expression going soft.

“This way,” I said.

Sean followed me as I crossed the small living room to Jake’s door. I opened the door softly and Sean looked in.

I watched his expression as he looked at the sleeping Jake and saw what I could only call love.

Knew then that Jake had just found his father.

And I’d just lost Jake.