CHAPTER 5
Elsa
I fixed breakfast at the stove and stirred plenty of eggs into the pot with a splash of fresh milk as I watched them cook. I lifted my eyes to look out of the window a few times to see the car hood wide open and the two men looking at it. I longed to go out there and see the engine and be close to Aidan as he worked and I glanced down as Mama entered the room. “Is everything going well in here? Your father has to tend to the animals.” Mama looked out of the window and noted the activity in the driveway. “I suppose it would be fitting to feed Aidan before he leaves today.”
I knew that I could leave as well, and I looked down quickly so she wouldn’t see the temptation on my face.
I pretended to smile and found another pan that I sprinkled the mixture of pork into as it heated up. It was a little sausage and some bacon, and it went well with the eggs and the thick homemade bread with the delicious butter. I didn’t want him to leave, and I spared a glance into the driveway as I watched the guys go to the tow truck and drive away.
I’d never seen one of those close up, and I wondered what all of the stuff on it did. Our lives were simple with our buggy and horse and the most critical part to that was keeping our animals healthy.
I thought about the adrenaline that I felt when I was riding alongside the side of the road, and the cars would race by us as I shivered with fear and excitement. There was always that thought that we might be hit, but I always watched the cars drive by and memorized the colors and the lines of them. I wondered what it would be like to drive one with the music that I’d only heard bits and pieces of on the radio.
Mama made the coffee as I stirred the meat and the eggs. She stacked the bread on a plate and smoothed the butter I’d made that morning into a bowl as she smiled at me. I could see the worry in her eyes and she had no idea what I’d done last night or the thoughts that I’d had. “I love you, Elsa.” I stared at her since she didn’t say a lot most of the time. Mama just took care of all of us, and that’s how we knew that she was so happy with this life.
“I love you, Mama,” I told her as she gave me a hug and squeezed me tightly. We stayed that way for a few minutes before we plated the food and brought it to the table. I walked back to the window to see the men working on the car and then my heart dropped as I heard the engine break the silence of the morning.
This was it. I brought the coffee to the table before I rushed back into the kitchen and saw Aidan walking to the car with his bag before he set it on the seat beside him. I took that moment to step outside and ring the bell for breakfast.
Aidan was walking towards me, and I looked at him with a wide smile. “Breakfast is ready.” I felt the sweat pooling in my hair under my soft bonnet as I felt my hands shaking. “Come on inside and eat something before you head out.” The last words left my mouth in a heavy weight as he slipped the keys in his pocket and stepped forward as I felt myself rock back and forth as I did when I was nervous. He locked the doors of the car as an afterthought and walked towards me as I turned and stepped inside of the house with a nervous flush to my cheeks.
I could see that Daddy and Adam weren’t expecting him since they were sitting in a different place today and I swallowed the lump in my throat as I watched Aidan sit beside me. We raised our hands for the prayer, and I almost whimpered as the heat of his palm covered my small hand. It was warm and rough against my skin, and I had never felt heat like I did coming from Aidan.
I barely heard the words that Daddy said before I reluctantly let go of Aidan and started to pick at my breakfast. It had smelled so good when I was cooking it, but now all I could feel was the lump inside of my stomach as Daddy talked to Aidan about his upcoming travels. I blinked as I felt something touching my ankles over my skirt and raised my eyes to see Aidan smile at me as he talked about the places that he was going to go. It sounded fantastic, and I tore a piece from the bread and tried to take a small bite.
Every time he talked, Aidan looked at me. The feeling that was sweeping over me was overwhelming, and I had trouble doing anything but to stare right back at him. I knew that my family could probably feel this as well, and I tried to pull my eyes away from him as I stared down at my plate.
Was this how Mama felt when she met Daddy?
Was this how Adam felt about Abby?
I’d never seen anything like this between any of them, and I wondered if I was losing my mind.
His feet kept touching my skin, and I knew that I was sweating underneath this dress as I tried to hold myself together. The meal seemed to both drag and move faster as I took a few bites of the food and tried to focus on what Daddy was saying as my head seemed to pound just a little harder. I glanced up at Mama as she gave me a long searching look with her eyes before Aidan said something and I looked at him again.
Time was standing still, and suddenly I sensed that the meal was over. I watched as Mama stood to clear the table and stared at the plate of food that I’d merely pushed around before she urged me with her eyes to stand up and help. Mama and Daddy hated wasting food, and the only reason that they didn’t say anything was due to Aidan being there.
He stood and looked at me before he cleared his throat. “Thank you kindly for your generosity, Isaac. Your cooking is wonderful, and I’ll always appreciate your cooking, Ma’am.” My father started to walk to the front door with him as Mama walked into the kitchen and I stood there.
My heart raced as I knew what I had to do. I walked to the front door behind the men as Mama called my name and went right outside with them. “Elsa, what are you doing?”
Daddy and Aidan were standing near the car as they talked until they heard Mama and stared at me. “Did you want to say goodbye?” Daddy asked me as I swallowed nervously and stared into Aidan’s endless eyes for strength.
“I need to say goodbye…to you. All of you.” There was silence from my family, including my brother who’s joined us outside.
“Elsa, think about this,” Mama told me as she stepped up with sad eyes.
“You all had this chance, and I need it too.” Mama had looked at Aidan before she looked back at me. She wasn’t scared for me to complete a tradition, but I knew that my family feared my leaving with this man. I wasn’t stupid enough to think that they didn’t see our connection. “I want to go for a ride. I need to go somewhere.” I pleaded with Aidan as his eyes softened and he slowly nodded.
My mother looked as though she was going to cry and my father’s face was set in a hard scowl as I looked between them with tears in my eyes. I wanted this so much, but I loved them. “If this is your choice. Take care of her,” Daddy told Aidan with a stern look in his green eyes as his voice trembled.
Adam glared at us as I stepped forward and joined Aidan by the car. “I can’t believe that you’re leaving with him.” His voice was cold, and Mama slipped an arm around his shoulders as he froze under her tough.
“I have to do this. I need to know what I want from life.” I told them as I looked at all of them again. “I love you.”
Aidan waited for my lead to walk to the car before he unlocked the door and opened it for me in the silence that hung around us. I slipped inside after moving his bag to the back seat, and I realized that I was bringing nothing from home with me.
That was the point, wasn’t it?
I had saved a little money from working so hard, and it was tucked inside of the small pocket of my dress. That was what my little allowance had gone to for the past few years. I could get a few things to get me by, and if I ran out of money, I could just come home.
That idea gutted me, and I stared at my family as Aidan walked around to his side of the car. ‘I’m going to keep her safe. Don’t worry about that.”
I closed my eyes as he got inside of the car and started it before he pulled out and headed slowly down the road.