Gone too far…
As soon as the door closed behind Rohan, he saw the drop of Jamie’s shoulders. The ride home had been stress-filled, but silent. He sensed the argument to come and didn’t want the entire world to see his anger.
And he was angry.
Angry enough that he wanted to punch a fist through a wall. He glanced down at his white knuckles as he tried to rein in the emotion. The more he willed himself to calm, the worse he felt. This wasn’t how he wanted to spend his day… not when they’d been blessed with so many of them thanks to that single word.
Remission.
They’d been handed a miracle.
“Go ahead. I know you want to yell,” Jamie said, his back still turned.
Rohan opened his mouth to do just that—and couldn’t. There was no way he could vocalize how he felt in that moment.
Jamie slowly turned to face him. “I’m asking too much.”
Rohan was silent a moment, trying to will his rage down. “If you know that, then why did you bother?”
But it was more than rage…
He felt as if Jamie was pushing him away. And he’d feared losing his mate for so many months only to still fear it now.
“I can’t be the omega you need me to be. I did this for you.”
“Did it for me? Are you insane?” Rohan could hear the bite of anger in his cry. He paused, drawing in some air to his burning lungs. “I don’t want anyone else but you.”
“You have needs, like any other alpha. Your biology drives you to mate. Drives you to reproduce. I know the long months without me to care for your needs has taken a toll.”
Rohan took a step closer, only to watch as Jamie tensed. “I’ve never placed demands on you. I take care of my own needs just fine. I don’t need some other omega to try to take your place.”
“Why not? He’s taking my place in another way. We’re using his womb.”
“That’s different! I don’t have to lie with him to get him pregnant. This isn’t necessary.”
“Oh, but I think it is. We could go years without a child, waiting for artificial insemination to work. I don’t want to wait. I don’t want to face disappointment after disappointment. Do you remember when we were trying to get pregnant? Facing another heat, knowing the last one failed? I can’t keep going through that over and over again.”
“And what if I can’t get him pregnant? What if I keep at it over and over again, touching another omega when I’ve vowed to only be with you?” Rohan saw the ache in Jamie’s expression, and hoped he was getting his point across. “You’re asking me to break my vows. You’re asking me to give in to my basest needs to give you a child—a child I’ve told you we don’t need.”
The hurt in Jamie’s eyes was almost too much for Rohan to bear. He looked away, gasping for air in his lungs. How could the man who claimed to love him try to force his hand this way?
“I’m doing this for you… for me… and for Gray.”
“For Gray?” Rohan asked, his head whipping up.
“You’re not an omega. You don’t understand the needs we have. He’s never had an alpha. Never had a man. Years of heats have taken a toll on him. The Heat Repress is barely working anymore.”
“Did he ask you for this?” Rohan roared.
“No!” Jamie shook his head. “He had no idea I’d demand this, but I could see the longing in his eyes when I talked to him in that conference room.” Jamie tilted his head slightly. “And I saw how hard you had to work to hold back.”
Rohan looked away, shame filling him. “Instinct. Nothing more.”
“You wanted him. It was clear as day. And he wanted you.”
“Instinct.”
“Regardless of what it was, it was there. Fire. Need. You connected.”
“Any alpha would connect with an omega in heat.”
Jamie paused. “In heat?”
Rohan sighed, closing his eyes. Me and my big fucking mouth.
“He went into heat?” Jamie demanded.
“It was a contact heat. If what you’re saying about his long-suffered abstinence is true, it was likely brought on simply by being in the room with me.” Rohan lifted a hand to stop whatever was about to come from Jamie’s mouth. “Not me… an alpha. Any alpha probably would’ve sent him into that.”
“But the fact he did with you is a good sign. There was a connection. I sensed it.”
“Oh?” Rohan had felt it, too, but the hell if he was going to admit that to his omega. He had room in his heart for one man. One man only. An attraction to an omega in heat was simple biology. There was no connection other than he had a dick that could fill a womb.
“You need the intimacy I can’t give you right now. He needs someone to break the cycle of Heat Repress. And I need this baby. We all get what we need. I don’t see why you both can’t see how perfect this is,” Jamie said.
“Perfect? A perfect nightmare, perhaps,” Rohan said before scrubbing his hands over his face. He could still scent Gray somehow… the need the omega had had rocked him to his core. How many months had it been since Jamie had gone into heat? Before the diagnosis, his heats had gone out of whack—it had been the first sign something was wrong. A year and a half, maybe? Longer? He wasn’t quite sure.
“You’re an alpha in his prime… and I saw how hard you worked to fight that instinct,” Jamie murmured. “You need to mate, Rohan. You need him just as much as he needs you.”
Rohan eyed Jamie, hating their situation. “I made vows to you. In sickness and in health…”
Jamie sauntered closer and cupped Rohan’s cheeks. He looked up into Rohan’s stare, his eyes shining. “Why are you fighting this hard? Do you feel shame for what you felt for Gray?”
Rohan was silent. He wouldn’t answer that question.
“I don’t want you to feel ashamed of any attraction you feel for him. He will be our surrogate, in more ways than one.”
“You planned this all along. Didn’t you?” Rohan asked.
Jamie shook his head. “No. I didn’t. But there was something that reached out and told me this was right. That Gray is special.”
Rohan chuckled mirthlessly.
“Why’s that funny?” Jamie asked, pulling Rohan’s cheeks to force his stare.
“He said the same thing about you.”
Jamie frowned. “When?”
“In the bathroom. After our meeting.”
Jamie lowered his hands and rubbed them on Rohan’s chest. He closed his eyes… it was the closest thing to intimacy he’d had in months. Leaning his head, he claimed his mate’s lips…
He was gentle at first, relearning the feel of Jamie’s mouth against his. A few slow chaste kisses sparked within him, and he felt the blaze of need roaring to life.
Rohan deepened the kiss, moving closer and pressing Jamie against the foyer wall.
Only to be denied as Jamie pushed him away.
Rohan pressed his palm up against the wall as he shattered inside. “Do you not love me? Is that what this is? Because if that’s the case, we shouldn’t be bringing a child into this relationship. Not now.”
“I do!” Jamie cried. “I do… I love you. I…” He paused, a tear sliding down his cheek. He pressed a chaste kiss to the side of Rohan’s face. “You are the first person I want to see every morning when I wake up… and before I go to sleep every night. I want to share my life with you…” Jamie let out a sob. “I have failed you over and over again. You deserve more than me.”
“You are my heart,” Rohan said, his eyes stinging with unshed tears.
“I can’t give you a child. And now I can’t even give you the intimacy you deserve.”
“Can’t? Or won’t?”
Jamie was silent a moment. “You have always been a considerate lover. You have treated me with respect and compassion—more so than I ever expected. You are kind… loving… and,” He paused, smiling. “You’re perfect. And now I am not.”
“Who wants perfection? I surely don’t. I’ve never said I did.”
“You need Gray. He needs you…” Jamie whispered. “Please, Rohan. Do this for me. Give me the baby I want… and take what you need in the meantime.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking of me.”
“I do,” Jamie said, brushing a few strands of hair from Rohan’s forehead. “I know it won’t be easy… but I’m doing this for us both.”
“And if Gray refuses?”
Jamie shook his head. “He won’t. I know he won’t. And neither will you. Once you think this over and realize I’m right… you’ll see this is the only way.”
Rohan looked down into Jamie’s face and knew there was no point arguing anymore. He wasn’t going to get through to his omega. His mate’s mind was set. He wanted what he wanted, period.
And there was something inside that told him Jamie was right. He would give in.
He was too weak in his love for his omega.
One of these days, this weakness of yours is going to get you into trouble. Trouble you can’t get out of. It might tear you both apart.
Warden’s words came back to haunt him.
He just hoped that last part didn’t prove true.
And hoped Gray could be strong enough for all three of them… strong enough to say no.