A couple of weeks later…
“Where are you?” Gray mumbled as he searched through the small recipe box, looking for one he knew was within. As soon as he found it, he slid it from the box and scanned the ingredients…
And realized they were in Silver’s perfect penmanship.
Gray ran his hands over the surface, recalling in that moment when his brother had brought him a copy of their grandpapa’s old family recipe after he’d hounded Silver for it. It had been when he’d been younger… and assumed he’d one day have an alpha to take care of. He’d wanted to practice the recipe and perfect it—as the way to an alpha’s heart was supposedly through his stomach.
Gray chuckled mirthlessly.
How stupid and simple he’d been back then, when he’d thought there was a future for him to come. He stared at the recipe card for long minutes, wishing he had Silver with them again… so perhaps he’d feel a little less lonely.
An unexpected knock came to the door. Gray washed and dried his hands before he walked through the cottage—and he forced away the sadness trying to once again take over.
He found Jamie on his doorstep, nearly bouncing with excited energy.
“I hope you don’t mind me stopping in unannounced,” Jamie said, a glow of happiness to his eyes and face. “But I had to see you.”
“Of course I don’t mind,” Gray said. He backed away from the entrance. “Come in.”
Jamie swept through, bringing his nervous energy with him. He paused in the foyer and spun to face Gray.
“What has you so excited?”
A brilliant smile came to his face. “We did it.”
“We? Did what?”
Jamie smile widened even more. “I’m in remission!”
Gray leapt forward, drawing Jamie into a fierce hug. “I’m so, so happy for you.”
“Thank you,” Jamie murmured, squeezing him back tightly before pulling away. He wiped a happy tear from the corner of his eye. “After Rohan and Wilder… I just had to come tell you. I know my health… I know it’s weighed on you and this decision to come.”
Gray grinned. “Are you only here for a moment… or did you want to come in and sit a few minutes?”
Jamie took a deep inhale and let out a breath. “I don’t have long… but I’d love to sit and talk a moment.”
Gray led Jamie into the breakfast nook before putting on a kettle while Jamie regaled him with more news from the doctors.
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything?” Jamie asked, fiddling with a saltshaker on the table.
“Not at all. I was just prepping for dinner, but it can wait a few minutes,” Gray answered before grabbing two mugs from the cabinet and moving them to the table. He placed bags in each. “I have some time before the boys get back from the summer program.”
“How are they enjoying it?” Jamie asked.
“I think they’d both rather be sitting at home, playing video games and eating junk food all summer… but after everything, I think it’s best they keep busy.”
Jamie nodded, his smile faltering some. “How are you doing?”
Gray paused a moment, feeling another swell of sadness come over him. “To be honest? A little lonely. I miss my brother more and more each day.”
“I assume you two were close?”
“He was my best friend.” Gray paused as the kettle whistled. He rose and crossed the kitchen, taking it from the burner. As he returned to the table, he finished, “He was my confidant… the person I could tell anything to.”
Silence fell between them as Gray poured the water over the tea bags.
“I know we’ve only just met… but if I can ever lend an ear, I would be happy to.”
Gray smiled. There was something safe and comfortable about Jamie. He almost felt compelled to share his secrets with the man. But the decision that faced him… he needed to keep some separation between them until he made up his mind. He set the kettle back on the stove before walking back to the table and taking his seat. “I appreciate that. But you’re here to share good news. Not be caught up in my melancholy.”
Jamie tugged the tea bag lightly, his nervous energy unable to be fully contained. He lifted his stare. “If I can be honest?”
Gray nodded.
“I feel this kinship to you. I can’t explain it… but I feel like we’ve known each other forever. And even… even if you decided you didn’t want to be our surrogate… for whatever reason… I think I would be sad to lose your friendship.” Jamie lifted his stare and met Gray’s. “I haven’t felt this comfortable around someone… well… since I met my alpha.”
Gray grinned slightly, a tiny glimmer of jealousy flaring deep down. He wished he’d had his own alpha to make him feel like that… but that wasn’t his future. And he, too, felt the odd kinship Jamie had mentioned. “I wouldn’t want to lose your friendship, either.”
There were too few older omegas in the Quad. They came and went… leaving him behind to meet the new batch of omegas consigned to live there until their alphas whisked them away, too. After a while, making new friends felt almost too difficult. They would only leave him there alone at some point—so he’d just given up.
When Avery had come to live there, it had been his first friend in ages… but there was still only so much he could share with his nephew. And with Avery looking for work and applying to colleges… he had little time left over anyway.
“So tell me… what’s been on your mind?” Jamie asked.
Gray stared down at his cup… knowing he should keep everything to himself… “This decision… it weighs on me. Though now, I suppose your news today helps some.”
“I can’t even begin to imagine the thoughts running through your mind,” Jamie said. “I’m asking the world of you… when all you can think of is providing for your family.”
“There’s more to it… than that.”
Jamie cocked his head to the side.
“Heat Repress… it has begun to fail me.”
A frown crossed Jamie’s face. “I didn’t know that was possible.”
He took a sip from his cup. “My reasons for this aren’t fully motivated by my nephews. I’m hoping nearly a year off the drug will reset my body and allow me to return to it once the babe is born.”
“Couldn’t you just go off it for a month or two?”
“I can barely get by with the drug now. I’d lose my mind without it.”
Jamie frowned. “You do have someone… who helps you… a beta?”
Gray shook his head. “What do you mean?”
“I just assumed you had a lover… or someone who helped you through your heats,” Jamie said, his eyes widening. “I mean… you said you didn’t think you had an alpha out there… so I guess…” Jamie’s frown deepened. “No one? So you’re a…”
“A virgin. Yes.”
Jamie looked stunned.
“Well, technically,” Gray added, his face growing hot. “I’ve helped myself.”
“Understandably!” Jamie leaned forward. “Perhaps that’s your answer. A beta to help soothe you during your heats. I mean, I know they don’t have the power to impregnate… but the real thing versus some toy should help take a bit of the edge off.”
“I suppose,” Gray answered. “But then surrogacy helps me provide for my nephews… so it seems the better choice. For now. After? Who knows…”
“You’ve saved yourself for a long time,” Jamie said. “Now you’ll lose it to someone other than your alpha.” He sighed. “That can’t be easy.”
Gray opened his mouth to argue and realized there was some truth to that.
“For someone so sure he has no alpha, I would’ve thought you’d let go of that a long time ago,” Jamie added after a moment of silence.
Had there been a glimmer of hope he’d held on to for all these years? “I guess… I don’t know… we have so many ideals shoved into our heads starting at a young age. I suppose the thought of offering myself up to someone not my alpha just hadn’t even come to mind.”
Jamie took a sip from his cup, looking over the rim at Gray. There was something in that look that made Gray feel as if the man could see through him.
“I understand. It’s just like this fervent need I feel to give my alpha a child—in any way possible.” Jamie lowered his cup, the fine porcelain clinking delicately together. “No matter how many times he tells me he doesn’t need a child, I know he can’t mean it. We were all raised with the expectation.”
“And you still persist.”
Jamie nodded. “I do. For good reason.”
Gray had already heard Jamie’s tales of Rohan and how amazing he thought his alpha was. Soon, Gray would get the chance to see how well Jamie had described the alpha and if the picture inside his mind was anything close to the real thing.
Jamie took another sip before his eyes went wide. “Oh, I forgot to tell you about the dinner party my papa put on recently. My brother, Wilder, was just promoted at work—and they had this huge celebration. Of course, my papa demanded full dress. You should’ve seen my alpha and my brothers in their tuxes—so handsome. Why they’re unattached at this point, I do not understand.”
“Neither are mated?” Gray asked.
“No… and I don’t think Wild is interested in mating at all. At least right now. He’s so focused on his career…”
Avery suddenly rushed into the kitchen, carrying a letter, and Jamie’s words faded in his ears. There was a mixture of panic and excitement in his nephew’s eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Gray asked, his chest tightening.
“Nothing,” Avery murmured.
Gray sensed Avery pushing the envelope closer to him, as if he wanted someone else to open it.
Jamie looked between them and obviously sensed Avery’s hesitance. He rose from his seat. “I’ll get out of your hair and let you share your news.”
“I can wait,” Avery said, eyeing Jamie. “I didn’t mean to rush you off. Stay, enjoy your tea.”
Gray had only just introduced the two—and he sensed whatever Avery had to share might have something to do with illegal activities. Had Avery already been caught? Panic truly slammed into him then and there.
Thankfully, Jamie lifted a bag from the back of the chair. “No, no… you didn’t rush me off. My alpha is likely waiting for me to return with news of my own.” A smile crossed his face as he stepped closer to Gray and offered a hug.
Gray wrapped Jamie in a tight embrace. “Congratulations again.”
“Thank you,” Jamie said before he kissed Gray’s cheek.
Accompanying Jamie to the door, Gray waved the man off before closing the door and spinning to see an anxious Avery waiting for him.
“What have you gotten yourself into now?”
Avery handed over the envelope.
Gray looked it over, his eyes growing wider. The College of Waltyn & Marris.
The prestigious college was Avery’s first choice—not that there were many to choose from in the city. He knew Avery didn’t intend to go far from the boys. They were lucky to have one of the oldest and best colleges in their province a trolley ride away.
“You haven’t even opened it.”
“I can’t. I need you to do it for me.”
Gray eyed him. “You sure? I don’t want to steal your moment.”
Avery lifted both his hands and waved Gray on. “Yes, I’m sure! Open it!”
After a second’s hesitation, Gray sliced open the top edge and pulled out a thick sheet of paper. He scanned the letter silently, trying to keep a blank look on his face.
What if Avery hadn’t been accepted? He almost wished his nephew wouldn’t be. A stack of no’s would potentially keep him alive.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. Horror filled him as he lifted his face to Avery.
Avery snatched the letter from his hands and read the first couple of lines aloud. The same few lines that had crushed Gray.
“Congratulations, Abraham Norcross! You’ve been selected as one of our incoming freshman class members for the school year 3713-14.” Avery lifted his stare to his uncle. “Jerk,” he said, grinning at Gray.
Lowering his head, Avery continued to read aloud. “We recommend you schedule a visit with one of our counselors soon to enroll in your first semester of classes. Orientation will commence on the fifth of Augustin, and another packet will arrive soon with more details.”
“Congratulations,” Gray said, forcing the word from his lips. “Although I’m scared as hell for you right now.”
“I’m scared, too.”
For four years Avery would have to hide who he was, in close confines, and that was before he made it out to the Alpha Quadrant’s business district to use the degree he’d seek. Sure, there were companies all over their province, but the money was in the business district. Knowing Avery, he’d want to make as much as he could.
The boy had seemed to see himself as bullet-proof lately.
Hearing that he, too, was scared helped Gray a little. Avery would need to be careful… not too self-assured.
“Hopefully I can keep up with the classes.”
That wasn’t the doubt Avery needed to have. Being caught, sure. His intelligence? Not hardly. “The transcript only faked your name, not your grades and test scores. You earned that spot, just like everyone else who applied,” Gray said, giving him a hug. “You’re bright. Always have been. You’re going to do well, I know it.”
Avery squeezed his uncle tight. “Thank you for reminding me. I needed to hear it.”
Gray stepped back and looked up at Avery. “You’ve always had a head for numbers, just like Silver.” Gray’s eyes suddenly shined with tears. “If only he was here now, to see this.”
“I doubt papa would be happy I was pretending to be a beta and going to college.”
Gray lifted his chin. “I think the conservative side of him would hate it… but the part of him that was proud of his sons would’ve sent him through the moon that you’d gotten that spot.”
Avery smiled at his uncle, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “Thank you.”
“A little part of me is excited you’ll have a chance to prove omegas can be more than husbands and fathers. I think Silver would’ve enjoyed that, too.”
Gray patted the side of his cheek before wiping away a stray tear. He headed for the kitchen, scooping up the two cups on the table in the nook on his way. “Want a cup of tea? I think I need another myself. It’s been an eventful day.”
“Sure,” Avery said. He trailed his uncle into the large kitchen and slid into one of the chairs behind the island. “Why’s it been so eventful?”
Gray smiled softly as he filled the tea kettle at the island’s sink. “Lots of good news today.”
“You’re not going to share?”
Gray place the kettle on the stove before turning back to lean against the island facing Avery. “Jamie just learned he’s in remission.”
Avery smiled. “That’s wonderful news. I could tell he wasn’t well… and you’ve been so reticent to share anything about him. Is it cancer?”
“Was cancer. He’s now been given the thumbs up from his oncologist and has the rest of his life before him.”
“I wish you’d told me sooner. I would’ve loved to congratulate him myself before he left.”
Gray smiled absentmindedly as he gathered another large mug from the cup tree for Avery.
“Who is he? To you?” Avery asked.
Gray was silent as he placed a tea bag into each cup. He finally lifted his stare to Avery. “I’m in discussions to carry Jamie and his alpha’s babe.”
Avery frowned. “You can’t.”
“I can. And I will—if the meeting with his alpha goes smoothly next week. I plan to contribute to this family one way or another, Avery. I have no skills… no job. You’ll need me here to watch the boys after school while you’re off getting a college education. This way, I can help you pay for that education and take care of the boys.”
“And the child-bond?”
“Jamie and Rohan might agree to let me visit the boy on occasion. To be a small part of his life. An uncle, they can call me.”
“Is that wise? It could potentially make the severed bond worse.”
Gray shrugged. “Only time will tell.”
Silence fell between them… and was soon shattered by the screaming of the tea kettle. Gray walked over and lifted it from the flames before pouring their cups. One was slid before Avery, and the sound of spoons clinking porcelain was the only sound in the room.
“I know you think I’m irresponsible and this is a bad idea… but I’ve spent weeks getting to know Jamie. I’ve given surrogacy a lot of thought. I’m thirty-five, without an alpha, and my body craves a child. You of anyone understands the primal need to breed within us. Imagine what you feel now… eighteen years later without being sated. I’ve been on Heat Repress for over half my life. It might calm the instinct, but it never fades completely.”
Avery was silent.
“Jamie lost his womb to cancer. All his life, he—like all omegas—has been told he was born to give his alpha a child. That his whole life would revolve around pregnancy and giving birth to a family. Now that’s been ripped away from him.”
“And what about your needs? Your wants? If you have this child, your own alpha could refuse you.”
“What alpha? I feel like a broken record, repeating the same answer over and over again. Nobody listens. Enough. Let it go.”
Avery released a sigh.
“You’re refusing to sit back and let fate rule your life. So am I. It’s my body… and my decision. I can help our family, help you and the boys, and help Jamie and Rohan with this one single act. And perhaps it will help me, too. Once I have a son, my biological need to reproduce will hopefully calm some. My heats are getting unbearable, Avery. The Heat Repress… it’s not working as well as it once did. It wasn’t meant for an omega to spend so long taking it without a pregnancy breaking up the use. I can’t go off of it… so what else am I to do?”
After a moment of thought, Avery nodded. “You’re right. It is your body… and I have no right to tell you what to do. It’s apparent you’ve put a lot of thought into this. I might not agree, but I can support your right to make this decision. I’ll stand behind you and help any way I can… if you go through with it.”
Gray sighed. “Thank you for that.”
“I just worry about the impact this will have on you and your future. That was my only cause for concern. I love you, Uncle Gray… and I only want what’s best for you.”
“I understand that. But this is what’s best for all of us.”
Avery didn’t look convinced, but the boy had no right to make decisions for Gray—especially when he was being supportive of his nephew’s own drastic decisions. “I hope so.”
But his drastic decisions had been to eliminate Gray’s need to do something like this…
If he failed there, how else might he fail?