A couple of weeks later…
Gray tucked Jamie into bed after the second chemo appointment with the help of the day nurse, Jefre. Once they were done, they both left the room and headed down. Gray was utterly exhausted. “Is that how it’ll be with every visit?” he asked Jefre.
“Everyone is different. And every cancer is, too. There’s no way of telling how bad it might get. I wasn’t his nurse the last time around, so I don’t have much by means of comparison.” Jefre paused, clenching his stomach.
“Are you okay?”
“I think something I ate might be giving me some trouble.”
Gray cast a look at the nurse as they reached the bottom stair. Jefre’s color didn’t look good, and sweat beaded on his brow. “Are you sick?”
Jefre sighed. “I haven’t been around anyone with a bug, that I know of. But it is that time of year.”
“If you’re sick, you need to go home. His immune system can’t take the added stress,” Gray said to the nurse.
Jefre placed a hand to his forehead. “I hate to leave you alone with him right after a chemo appointment, though. It might not be an easy afternoon.”
“I can handle it.”
“I am a little warm… and I don’t want to make things worse for Jamie.” He walked over and grabbed his bag. “I’ll call Serge on the way home and see if he can come in any earlier.”
“Thanks. I’ll be okay, though.”
Or so he thought he’d be.
A few hours later, as he was holding Jamie for his third round of puking, he wasn’t so sure he could last much longer. Stay strong. He needs me.
Jamie rose on unsteady legs and lunged for the bathroom counter with Gray’s help. He rinsed his hands off before lifting a palmful of cold water to his lips and spitting it back out. He lifted his stare and cringed when he looked into the mirror.
“Look at me,” Jamie cried staring into the mirror after wiping his mouth. “Just look at me.” He reached up and ran a hand over his head. He drew a clump of his short locks away before tossing it into the sink. “I knew this would happen. I was finally getting hair again and now it’s gone.”
Gray wiped down the toilet and tossed the paper inside before flushing it. He moved to the sink and washed his hands before lifting his stare to Jamie. “Like I said before. Hair grows. It’ll come back. I’d rather you lose that than we lose you.”
“No… this is what I didn’t want. I didn’t want to be sick. I didn’t want you and Rohan forced into playing my nursemaid. I didn’t want this.” Tears shone in his eyes. “I begged you all.”
Gray felt as if he could vomit. He’d pushed for this… and now he’d gotten it. Only he wasn’t the one being tortured. Jamie was.
Jamie eyed Gray’s long braid. He grabbed it and ran his hand down the length. “My hair used to be like that. It was long and so very beautiful. Now, losing that was a tragedy. The first clump?” Jamie’s eyes filled with tears. “I cried for three days after that first clump had come out.” He looked back in the mirror. “Now it’s just a joke.”
Gray looked down at the thick braid still hanging over one shoulder.
Jamie raced past him and fell to his knees—just in time to vomit again. Gray rushed over and ran a hand down Jamie’s back, trying to soothe him somewhat. He felt so inadequate… and hoped his presence helped in some way.
He wasn’t sure it did.
Once they were cleaned up again, Gray helped Jamie back to bed. The doctors had said the first weeks of chemo were often the worst. Jamie’s body would grow a little accustomed to the medicines and in time, he wouldn’t get as deathly ill.
Knowing he was the reason Jamie was enduring this torment ate at him. He felt more and more selfish by the day.
He has to meet the baby… he just has to.
Just after getting Jamie cleaned up and back into bed, the bedroom door opened and Rohan’s face appeared.
“Where’s the nurse?” Rohan asked, frowning.
“Sick. So I stayed longer. Serge was supposed to be here by now.”
Gray fled to the bathroom, trying to put distance between him and Rohan. He began picking up the used towels and tossing them into the already gargantuan pile of dirty clothes.
“I take it today was tough?”
Gray looked over his shoulder and nodded. “He’s been sick all afternoon.”
“I was afraid of that. I should’ve stayed. Had you called and told me Jefre was sick, I would’ve come home earlier.”
Gray tried to act as if he wasn’t breaking inside. “I’ve taken care of him. We’ve been just fine.”
He lifted the heavy basket of towels, planning to start a cycle of wash. Rohan was in his way.
“You don’t need to do that. I can take over now,” Rohan said, moving closer.
“He’s my friend. I want to be here for him,” Gray murmured, the exhaustion of the day seeping into his bones.
Rohan closed the gap and took the basket from him. “I can do this.”
Gray fought back tears.
“What’s wrong?” Rohan asked, frowning.
“I didn’t know.”
“What didn’t you know?”
“How bad it would be for him. He said it… he told me… but I didn’t want to believe it was as bad as he made it out to be. What have I asked of him? It’s killing him.”
Rohan lowered the basket and drew Gray into his arms.
Gray leaned into the alpha’s strength and warmth, surrendering in a moment of weakness. It felt so good there, safe from all the chaos in his world.
“It’s killing the cancer… not him.”
“Are you sure? After what I saw today, I’m not.”
Rohan took a step back and gathered Gray’s face in his hands. “You’re the one who said we needed to stay positive… remember? He needs you and I to give him strength. You can’t do that if you let this get to you.”
Gray’s stare met Rohan’s, and the pull of the instinct nearly took his breath away. “How did you make it through the last time? After seeing what this did to him?”
“It wasn’t easy. It tore me up inside to see him so sick. It’s no better this time… only I know a little of what to expect now. It softens the blow some.”
“I envy that,” Gray murmured.
Rohan lowered his hands to Gray’s shoulders, massaging. “It’ll get a little worse before it gets a bit better, I’m afraid.”
Rohan’s hands felt good on his shoulders… his neck. When he tilted Gray’s head and leaned in close, he was too exhausted to fight it.
The alpha caught himself, inches away from that kiss. He backed off, torment in his eyes. Lowering to grab the laundry, he avoided Gray’s stare. “I’ll go get these started. The car is outside waiting for you.”
And Rohan was gone.
Gray lifted his hand to his lower lip. It ached with want. How he could want when Jamie lay in a bed next door, he didn’t know.
He was a horrible, horrible man.
Gray turned to the mirror and eyed his reflection. His gaze went to the long, thick braid lying over his shoulder. Without telling Rohan goodbye, he raced down the stairs. Coat in hand, he strode outside and to the waiting car.
“Can you take me somewhere other than home?”
His usual driver, Sid, looked over his shoulder. “How far?”
“Not far from my home… and I can get home from there. I just need to stop in somewhere.”
“Sure. Where are we going?”
Gray gave the man the directions just before they pulled out of the semi-circular drive and on toward the O Quad. When they arrived at their destination, he climbed out with a thanks to the driver.
He stepped into the hairstylist’s shop and eyed the beta behind the chair. “Do you have time for a cut?”
“Yeah, I can trim you up,” the beta said as he continued working on the elaborate braid for the omega in his chair.
“Not a trim. A cut. As in all of it.”
Both the hairstylist and omega turned to him, dumbfounded.
“Yeah… sure… just give me a minute to finish up here.”
Gray’s heart beat in his chest like a tattoo. He wasn’t sure he could breathe in his next lungful of air. When it was his turn to sit in the stylist’s chair, he felt a cold shiver race up his spine. What am I doing?
“Are you sure you want to cut it all off?” the stylist asked, lifting the long braid that nearly reached Gray’s knees.
Jamie’s face came back to mind—crying over losing his hair. He was sacrificing a lot to endure treatment. Gray felt the need to sacrifice something of his own. “Do it. Cut it all off. But keep the braid… I want to have it made into a wig.”
“If you’re sure.”
Gray met the beta’s eyes in the mirror. “I’m sure.”
The scissors sawed through his thick braid. Moments later, the rope of hair was laid into his lap, both ends tied off.
“You want me to give you a cute cut with what’s left?”
Gray stared into his image in the mirror. “No… I want you to shave it all off.”
“Shave? Why?”
“I have a sick friend. He’s losing his hair.”
The beta smiled softly in the mirror, resting a hand on Gray’s shoulder. “You don’t have to say another word.”
The clippers came out and removed the rest of his hair. Afterwards, Gray sat there—silent—as he looked at his image in the mirror. He lifted a hand and ran it over the stubble on his head.
“I feel lighter.”
The beta chuckled. “I bet.”
The stylist cleaned his neck and shoulders before removing the cape he’d placed over him. Gray rose, braid in hand, and turned to the man. “How much do I owe you?”
“Are you using that to have the wig made for this friend of yours?”
Gray nodded.
“No charge.”
Gray felt tears burning the backs of his eyes.
“Save those tears. You’ll need them when you get the price tag on a decent wig.”
“I had hoped offering up my hair would make it significantly cheaper.”
“Cheaper, yes,” the stylist said. “Significantly? Probably not.” He reached into his station and pulled out a card. “But I know someone who will likely charge a lot less than others would. Tell him I sent you. I’ll call and let him know you’re calling.”
“Thanks,” Gray said, pocketing the card. “For everything.”
“Anytime… though I doubt I’ll see you back with this kind of hair for some time.”
Gray laughed. “Agreed.”
He left the shop, hearing the click of the lock once he was outside. The last remnants of afternoon were gone. Gray looked up at the night sky, the cold hitting him hard. His head was freezing. After pulling on his coat and wrapping it tight, he looked down at the braid in his hand and wondered if he could wrap it around his head until he got home.
The bell behind him jingled, the door opening again. “Hey!”
Gray turned.
“You’ll need this more than I will tonight,” the stylist said before tossing something small.
Gray caught it and looked at his hand. A small knit hat. “Thank you,” he added, pulling it on over his bald head.
“Don’t mention it,” the beta said. “Be safe, okay? That hair’s pretty valuable. Keep it close.”
“Thanks. Have a nice night.”
Gray watched as the man locked up again before he walked the short distance to the trolley station. He coiled the hair and tucked it into his coat before he arrived—just in time for the next car. After jumping up and tucking himself into the packed car, he traveled closer to home, ready for his night to end.
When he arrived, he found Avery and the boys weren’t alone.
Avery and a boy were studying at their kitchen table. “Uncle Gray, this is my classmate, Brett. Brett, my uncle Gray.”
Gray reached out and shook the beta’s hand. He cast a look at Avery—who looked like the cat who ate the canary.
Avery avoided his stare. “We’re just about done here… and I have a lasagna in the oven. We’ll have dinner soon.”
“I’m sure there’s enough if your friend wants to stay, but then again, you might not want him to eat your cooking, hmmm?” Gray asked, smiling. He took off his coat, knocking his hat off.
“For the love of Paul,” Avery spat, looking at Gray’s head. “What in the hell have you done?”
Gray showed off his braid. “Need to have a wig made.”
“For Jamie?” Avery asked, one brow rising.
“For Jamie,” Gray said, nodding.
Avery’s friend closed his book and notebook. “It looks like you two need a moment. I’m going to head out.”
“No, please, stay if you’d like,” Gray said. He didn’t truly mean it, but he didn’t want to appear rude. He wasn’t in the mood for visitors and playing the game of pretending Avery was a beta after the day he’d had.
“Maybe next time,” the beta said with a smile. He tossed his books into his bag before rising to his full height and casting Avery a sexy smile. He was a handsome beta… beta being the keyword there.
He wouldn’t be able to woo Avery. When he glanced at his nephew, he was shocked to see the boy looked infatuated.
Lovely.
“Next time, it is,” Gray said. “I’m already looking forward to getting to know you more, Breck.”
“Brett,” Avery corrected.
“Sorry… Brett.”
Brett smiled at them both. “Thanks for the study help,” he said to Avery before heading to the front door.
Once the beta was gone, Gray turned to Avery. “What was that?”
“He’s cute. And interested. Why not?” Avery asked, shrugging.
“Where are the boys?” Gray asked. “And how did you convince them to not call you Avery in front of that beta?”
“They’re next door. Seems we have a new omega living next door. Only fourteen.”
“Fourteen? And he’s gone into heat already?”
Avery nodded. “Apparently. I feel terrible for him. It was bad enough at seventeen. At least I was almost an adult. I couldn’t imagine dealing with all these thoughts and feelings that young.” He paused before heading into the kitchen to check the oven. “The kid and Lake became friends today at school. Mutual like of video games, it seems. Of course Auggie wants to be wherever Lake is, so if Lake wanted to go, he needed to take his little brother. They’ve been over there since school let out—while I studied with Brett.”
Gray hung his coat in the hall closet before returning to the kitchen. “A beta? Is this smart? What if he learns your secret?”
“I’ve already been found out.”
Gray spun to face Avery fully. “What?”
“My Ancient Civilizations professor. He’s an alpha, and he caught me in heat.”
Gray gasped. “He… he didn’t hurt you… did he?”
“No. He was the perfect gentleman.”
“Wait… your last heat was two weeks ago.”
“Between school, work, and you at Jamie’s, we’re ships in the night as of late. I haven’t seen you more than a few seconds in that long.”
Gray considered that and realized Avery was right. “So… perfect gentleman. Did he turn you in?”
“No. He did not. He gave me the name of a pharmacist who gave me a new medicine. One that makes Heat Repress seem like nothing.”
Gray frowned.
“I’m not supposed to tell anyone about this. No other omegas… but after your troubles, I knew I needed to tell you.”
“Let me get this straight. An alpha professor caught you lying and breaking the law and instead of turning you in, he gave you the means to get medicine to help you lie better?”
“Yes.”
Gray shook his head. “I don’t understand.”
“He’s an equalist. He’s given me this book, a history of the omega. It shares insights in the way things used to be and about the systemic repression of our class that has occurred over the last few hundred years. Dr. Conover believes omegas can be more than they’re allowed to be and that more of us should try to escape the imprisonment we’re faced with.”
“An equalist?”
“Yes,” Avery said with a smile. “He talks of a peaceful revolution, where omegas get more rights.”
“Revolution? Avery… I need you to be very careful. All of this is treasonous. Add that on top of the laws you’re already breaking and you could be in a lot of trouble if you’re caught.”
“You were already worried I’d be caught… I was, and it turned out alright.”
“You were lucky. The next time, you might not be.”
Avery smiled. “But… the good news is… we have a way to help you with your heats after the baby comes. If the pregnancy wasn’t enough to reset your system like you hoped. That’s great news.”
An illegal drug. He wasn’t sure if that was great news at all. “Hopefully it won’t come to that.”
“Uncle Gray, as soon as I started taking it, it was like I had no heat at all.”
“None?”
“A barest hint of something… but easily controlled. No wetness, no readying to be taken. None of it.”
“That’s amazing. Why don’t they allow omegas to use this?”
“Dr. Conover says it’s a means of control. If omegas could choose when they got pregnant, and by who, then the birth rates might drop even more. That and the fact that alphas like power. Omegas might demand more freedoms if they weren’t slaves to their sex drive. It would effectively destroy the systems in place—and the government doesn’t want that to happen. It would be anarchy.”
Anarchy. Gray sighed. While he hated the way things were, he knew there was danger in trying to create change. Avery was walking a thin line… and had two young wards to consider, too. Gray already had enough to worry about as it was. He reached for his stomach, an ache forming. “Just promise me you’ll be careful and not get yourself into trouble.”
“I can only promise so much,” Avery said with a glittery smile.
The buzzer for the oven went off, and after Avery took the lasagna out, he walked next door to collect his brothers. Gray set the table and awaited the reaction from the youngest in his family to his new appearance.
He chuckled as they both came into the dining room and froze in place, eyes wide.
“You, too?” Lake said before sliding a hand down his own braid. A smile then formed on his face. “I want to cut mine.”
“No!” both Avery and Gray said at the same moment.
“But why not? If you both did it, I should be allowed to, as well.”
“You’re too young to make a decision like that,” Gray said. “If you still feel the same way when you’re older, then you can do what you will.”
“It’s not fair!” Lake cried.
“Life isn’t fair,” Gray spat. “It’s best you learn that lesson sooner versus later.”
Lake scowled at him before stalking to the table and dropping into one of the chairs.
“While you’re over there, you might as well help finish making the table,” Avery said while checking the lasagna.
“I hate it here!” Lake spat before rising… and setting the table.
Auggie quietly went to help his brother, looking quite confused.
“I see Lake’s good mood was short lived,” Avery whispered when Gray neared.
“Teenaged moods are mercurial, at best. I remember some of the horror stories your papa told me about you at that age.”
“I was never that bad,” Avery whispered hotly.
Gray chuckled. “Maybe. Maybe not.”
Avery looked aghast.
Of course, he hadn’t been. But now he was creating new issues with his youthful optimism and progressive ideals. Gray clutched his aching stomach again.
Avery eyed him, his smile fading. “Everything alright?”
Gray nodded. “Just worry catching up to me. I’ll be fine.”
He sure as hell hoped he’d be fine.
The doubts began as the pains continued.