Three weeks later…
After making another phone call to Avery that went unanswered, Gray drained the last of his cup, one hip resting against the counter. Worry filled him… the boy was treading thin ice.
But his emotional state wasn’t great for more than one reason. The main one sat across from him. He stared at the strips on the counter, weighing his emotions. He took another sip, only absentmindedly realizing he’d already finished the cup. Turning, he put another pot on, his back to those items that had so fully captured his focus.
Once the kettle was on, he returned to look at the sticks lying on the counter. All three showed two perfect pink lines.
He was pregnant.
One heat… with one alpha in full rut… and he was knocked up. He knew he should feel elated that it happened so easily, but he wasn’t.
While a good part of him hated what he’d done with Rohan, another small bit had looked forward to another heat. Shame nearly stole his breath… thinking of being in Rohan’s bed again. Of course, there was a slim chance the pregnancy tests were wrong. He’d know for sure the following full moon. Gray was already scheduled to return to Rohan and Jamie’s house for another round. If he didn’t go into heat, it would be a surefire sign he was indeed pregnant.
When Avery came rushing in moments later, he still sat there staring numbly.
“Sorry I was late and incommunicado. Cell reception has been off. I just saw your ca—” Avery said as he walked in, breaking off as he came to a stop beside Gray. Silence fell between them. “Are those… are those what I think they are?”
Gray inhaled a slow breath. “They are.”
More silence.
“That was quick,” Avery mumbled.
The kettle whistled, and Gray moved to take if off the burner and pour himself a cup. Once he was done, he gazed at his nephew. “It was quick.”
“How are you feeling?”
“You being a no-call, no-show for hours didn’t help my mental state right now, either. You should’ve called and let me know what you were doing.”
Gray worried the second Avery walked out the door and didn’t relax until the boy stepped back inside their home.
“You’re right. I should have. I turned off my phone in the library and didn’t come up for air until all my homework was done. I was in a cubby, with no clear sign of any windows, so I had no idea how late it had gotten. It won’t happen again, I promise.” Avery turned to face him. “What’s this about your mental state? You wanted to be a surrogate. Now you are. This was your choice.”
“Don’t,” Gray murmured. “Not right now, okay?”
Avery didn’t say another word.
“I know this is what I wanted, but now that the realization is sinking in, I’m… I don’t know what I am. Ambivalent?” He released a sigh. “And I just can’t handle your judgment right now.”
“I didn’t mean to sound judgmental.”
“I want this,” Gray whispered hoarsely. “I want to give them a child. I want to help provide for you all. I want this.”
“Who are you trying to convince?” Avery asked solemnly.
Gray eyed his nephew, knowing Avery’s concerns were valid. Now those concerns seemed larger than life when they’d once felt trivial.
“Have the boys eaten?” Avery asked.
“Yeah and they’re off upstairs, playing video games, I’m sure. If you’re hungry, there’s a plate in the oven.”
Avery collected his supper and placed it on the island before grabbing a drink and then taking his seat. He stared across the kitchen at Gray but said nothing.
“I always assumed my first child would’ve been so different,” Gray said, fighting the sting coming to the backs of his eyes. “I’d always envisioned an alpha who would adore me… care for me… provide… and I’d give him a beautiful family in return.”
Avery didn’t say anything. The boy looked at a loss for words. It wasn’t fair for him to be dumping all of this on his nephew’s shoulders, not when this had been his choice—just as Avery had said.
Instead of answering, Avery slipped from his seat and walked over to Gray and hugged him tight. Gray didn’t want to need that hug in that moment, but after a few seconds, he leaned into Avery’s strength.
“What the hell is this shit?” Lake muttered before he walked across the room and opened the refrigerator. He stood there staring for several moments before closing it and growling. “Who ate the last of the yogurt?”
“I did,” Gray answered, stepping back from Avery’s embrace. “We’ll get some more tomorrow.”
“Doesn’t help me now, asshole,” Lake snapped.
“Language!” Gray roared before the boy lurched out of the room and stormed up the stairs.
“That boy really needs a swift kick in the ass,” Gray said. “We can’t let this continue.”
“I’ll talk to him… just let me eat my dinner first.”
“No. I’m done being his punching bag.” Gray marched himself upstairs and into Lake’s bedroom, trying to control his anger. After taking a deep breath, he glared at Lake. “We’re all getting a little tired of the attitude. Especially me.”
“I don’t care what you think!” Lake spat. “This isn’t your house anyway. What are you even doing here?”
Gray swallowed back his rage at hearing those words. Mostly because it was true. The house wasn’t his.
But he was family and he was doing his best to help hold them all together. “I’m here because we’re all we’ve got now. The four of us—that’s it.”
A look of pain flashed over Lake’s face, and then it was gone. The surly teenager was back so fast Gray wondered if he’d been mistaken. But he knew he hadn’t.
“I know you’re hurting. I know you miss your father and papa.”
Lake said nothing. He only angrily glared at Gray.
“But your brothers lost them, too. I lost the brother I loved dearly, and the brother-in-law who was so very kind to me. I loved him, too.” Gray took a step closer. “We all lost people we loved. We’re all hurting. And you being snide and cruel doesn’t help that.”
“You’re only sad you lost your meal ticket,” Lake spat angrily.
Gray clenched his teeth. “You really think that of me?”
For just a moment, Lake looked a bit sad, but the anger came back in full force. “How would I know? You’re the uncle I barely ever saw, the one leeching off the money we need to survive now. You’re the reason Avery had to cut his hair… the reason he had to go get a job. Now we’re stuck with you all up in our shit and ruining everything!”
Gray eyed his nephew. “You’re right. You barely know me, because I can’t leave this quadrant. I’m trapped here. A virtual prisoner. I could only sit back and wait for your papa to bring you here to visit. Even when you did come, you raced outside to play and barely spent more than two minutes in my company once you were old enough.”
Lake didn’t respond.
“But when you were a baby? You’d sit in my lap for hours. I’d hold you close and cuddle you near me,” Gray sighed, his eyes shining. He’d held on to Lake… just as he had all the boys… imagining the day when he himself would be a father.
Now here he was going to be and he’d never have the chance to see the babe grow up.
“You need a scapegoat? Fine. You be as mad at me as you want to be. But you leave your brothers out of it. They lost their father and papa, too, just like you. And I won’t have you treating them like shit because you think your feelings are more important than theirs, you self-entitled, selfish brat.”
Lake frowned. “Yeah? Well… well… you’re a spoiled little bitch!”
“That the best you got?” Gray roared.
“Fuck you!” the teen roared back.
“Fuck you, too, you little shit!”
Lake’s eyes fill with tears. He immediately felt like an asshole for yelling.
“Get out of my room!” Lake screamed as tears streamed down his face.
Gray stood there a moment, not sure if he should stay or go as the boy asked. Going with his gut, he walked across the room and forced the boy into his arms and held tight, even as Lake tried to push him away.
After a moment, Lake’s arms stopped pushing and his hands twisted in Gray’s shirt. He began to cry in earnest, huge sobs coming from him as Gray held on tight. Lake was nearly as tall as he was, so he had to widen his stance to hold the boy up.
As the crying slowed, he caressed the back of Lake’s head and tried to soothe his nephew. He sat them on the edge of Lake’s bed and just held on—for as long as the teenager needed it.
Soon, Lake grew quiet. “Why did this all happen to us?”
Gray ran a hand down the back of Lake’s head, choosing his words carefully. “Life is filled with beautiful, amazing things… but the other side of that coin is the bad. You can’t have one side without the other. While we’re here, we need to cherish all the good we can… and try to pick ourselves up after the bad and live on.”
“They can’t live on.”
There was no question who they were. “No, but they would want you and your brothers to. They gave you live… in the hopes you’d have great adventures. You still can.”
“I don’t feel like I want to do anything. It feels wrong to be happy when they’re not here to be happy, too.”
Gray caressed the back of Lake’s head. He understood how the boy felt. “Mourning those we love isn’t easy. But each day it will get a little easier.”
“What if I forget them?”
“I can honestly say that will never happen. Your father and papa live on in you three. They will be there every moment, looking down on you and seeing the good you do in this world. You don’t want to disappoint them, do you?”
Lake lifted his head off Gray’s shoulder and wiped his face with both hands. “No. I don’t.”
Gray missed the weight of his nephew leaning on him. He stared at the boy’s profile and saw a little of Silver in the tilt to the boy’s head.
“I’m sorry I said those things,” Lake whispered before turning to eye Gray.
“It’s okay.”
Lake’s eyes shone a little more, and he swallowed. “You look like papa.”
Gray clenched his teeth and held on to his own emotions, not willing to lose it in front of the boy. He needed to be strong right now. It wasn’t something he was good at, but he needed practice. The road ahead was going to have a lot of potholes and speed bumps, and for more than one reason.
“You look a little like him, too,” Gray whispered back, lifting a hand to caress Lake’s cheek.
“No. I look like father.”
Gray shook his head. “You’ve got Silver’s eyes. And the same arrogant tilt to the head. Your smile is his, though I can’t remember the last time I saw it.”
Lake smiled slightly, but wasn’t quite yet capable of a full one, it seemed. He brushed his face and eyes again with both hands and walked over to his desk. “I’ve got homework I need to do.”
The boy sat down, his back to Gray. Their moment over, Gray rose and crossed the room. He paused at the door and looked over at Lake—who was working away. He opened the bedroom door and exited.
Avery stood in the hallway across from him, his eyes looking a bit rimmed in red.
Gray cupped one of Avery’s cheeks before heading to his bedroom before he lost it himself. Dropping to his bed once the door was closed, the floodgates opened and he mourned the brother he’d adored.
And the future he’d always imagined for himself.
Now he had a new future.
Caressing his stomach, he knew this was the good side of the coin.
It had to be.