The following day…
Jamie sat in the oversized chaise in his new bedroom, curled up in a blanket. A different nurse had arrived that morning, not Jefre, and the beta wasn’t as pleasant as the other man. He’d already been overly rough with Jamie while helping him dress and clean up first thing. And instead of taking him downstairs like he’d asked, the nurse had just sat him on the chaise in his bedroom.
How Jamie hated this new bedroom. He hated being away from Rohan, but it was a necessary evil. In his old room, he’d at least have had a beautiful view—plus he could watch Rohan leaving for the office and the car pulling in carrying Gray.
Jamie had recently realized the well-timed near-misses were not a coincidence, but planned. There was no way around it. It was as if Rohan knew Gray’s car was nearing.
I’ll have to do something about that.
Only today, the few minutes it usually was between one leaving and the other arriving stretched.
Gray’s late. I hope he’s okay.
His short-term nurse strode into the bedroom, hauling a tray of food. The smell nearly made him vomit then and there. A plate of greasy bacon, eggs, and buttered toast was sat before him. Jamie gagged.
Jamie reached up and covered his nose and mouth with one hand. “Please… take it away.”
“I worked hard on this,” the nurse said. “I was told to make sure you ate breakfast and lunch.”
“Had you bothered asking, I would’ve told you I just had chemo the day before yesterday. I have no desire to eat anything.”
The nurse lifted his chin and stared down his nose. “I was instructed to make you eat.”
Jamie put as much power into his words as he had left. “I’m not hungry.”
“Eat!” the man spat while trying to leave the tray on his lap.
“What’s this?” Gray asked as he strolled into the room, scowling at the nurse.
“He won’t eat,” the offensive man said, looking a little less aggressive now that someone else was there.
Gray walked over and looked at the plate. “Of course he wouldn’t want to eat all that. He’s been sick for two days.” He spun to face the man. “I assume you’re Jefre’s temporary replacement?”
“I am. Name’s Saul.”
“Saul… in this house, you don’t force anyone to eat. You don’t force anyone to do anything. Am I clear?”
Jamie smiled at Gray’s forceful comment… as well as his use of this house… as if it’s his.
Well… it is.
Or rather… it will be.
The nurse cocked one brow. “You aren’t the omega’s alpha. I don’t take my instructions from you.”
Jamie almost chuckled when he saw the anger flashing in his friend’s eyes. Gray pulled a phone from his pocket and dialed. Jamie wasn’t exactly sure who Gray was calling, but he had a good idea.
“Yes, sorry to bother you, but we have an issue at the house. No… no, you don’t need to come back, I can handle it, but I just need you to tell this nurse he won’t be force-feeding Jamie a greasy plate of bacon, eggs, and toast. Also… please tell him that he needs to listen to Jamie and I when given instructions instead of being an obstinate asshole.”
Gray listened in a moment before handing the phone to the nurse. “Jamie’s alpha has something to tell you.”
The nurse snatched the phone before placing it to his ear. “Sir… I’m so sorry about this. I only tried to follow your instructions.” He paused, and even Jamie could hear the roar of Rohan’s voice on the other end. “Yes, sir. I understand. I won’t make the mistake again.”
The nurse handed the phone back to Gray before snatching up the tray. Gray quickly ended the call and glared at the nurse until he left the room.
“Thank you,” Jamie murmured to his hero.
Gray smiled and sat down on the end of the chaise, still in his coat and hat. “So sorry I’m late. I could’ve prevented all this had I been here.”
“Everything alright? I was growing worried.”
Gray smiled warmly. “Everything is fine.” He slid his coat off and laid it over one arm. “How about some hot tea? Some warm broth? You haven’t eaten in a few days now.”
“And the thought makes me ill,” Jamie said.
“Rohan had asked the nurse to try and persuade you to eat a little. But he did tell the beta you were coming off a chemo treatment and weren’t well.”
“I’d say this man is ill-equipped for the job he now holds.”
Gray chuckled. “Agreed.”
Jamie looked at Gray—he looked different. He wore a beanie over his head, tight to the scalp. Too tight. As if… “What’s with the hat?”
Gray eyed him, looking a bit reticent. “Nothing. It’s cold out.”
“Take it off.” He narrowed his eyes, sensing something was amiss.
Gray’s face reddened. He lifted a hand to his head and slowly pulled it off…
Jamie gasped when he saw Gray’s bald head. “What have you done?”
Gray ran a hand over his scalp. “Now we’re twins, hmm?”
Jamie’s eyes stung with tears. “Why? Your hair was so lovely.”
“I know how upset you were to lose your hair again. So I didn’t want you to be the only one enduring baldness.”
“No,” Jamie said, a tear escaping. He wiped it away, stunned at what Gray had done. “I wish you hadn’t. Your hair… my gods… Gray.”
“Since I’m the one who begged you to go into treatment, I felt it only right for me to make a sacrifice of my own. I know it’s nothing in comparison to yours… but I didn’t want you to feel alone in this.” Gray took his hand and squeezed.
Jamie bit back a sob. Seeing the heights of Gray’s love for him nearly broke him. This omega he’d known for a few short months was becoming another piece of his heart. Another who he’d have to leave behind before he was ready. And he almost couldn’t bear it.
“At least my head isn’t misshapen,” Gray joked, breaking the intensity of the moment with levity. “Or this would’ve been a real bad idea.”
Levity Jamie desperately needed. He chuckled. “I do hope you kept it. Good hair like that could make you a bundle.”
Gray nodded. “I kept it.”
Jamie tilted his head, a thought occurring to him. “Did you do this because you needed the money?”
“No!” Gray answered. “We’re doing fine. Avery is a budgeting master… and the boys are learning to be more creative with less. We’re actually doing better than fine.”
“You do know… that if you ever needed anything, I would help you.”
“You’ve already been more than kind… and there’s no reason to be concerned. We’re fine, as I said.”
“I think of you as my brother,” Jamie said. “And by extension… your nephews are family. Family takes care of one another.”
Avery brought Jamie’s hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss on his knuckles. “The sentiment is appreciated. We are fine.”
Jamie relaxed into the chaise.
“How about that tea and broth?”
Jamie sighed. “Tea, yes. Anything more, I’ll try, but I make no promises.”
Gray rose. “I’ll fix you a tray.” He grabbed his coat and hat and headed for the door. “I’ll be back in just a moment. Rest up.”
Jamie couldn’t stop staring at Gray’s bald head as he left, thunderstruck.
Twins.
Brothers of the heart.
Indeed.
* * * *
Later that afternoon…
Rohan sped into the drive an hour early. Jamie had texted him, demanding he come home immediately. After parking and climbing from his vehicle, he stormed in through the front door and raced up the swirling staircase, taking two treads at a time. Once he was inside Jamie’s bedroom, he rushed to the bed where his omega lay.
Asleep.
He reached out and caressed the side of his omega’s face.
“What are you doing back home so early?”
Rohan looked over his shoulder… and did a double take. He rose from the bed and turned, staring at Gray—his mouth dropping open.
Gray looked embarrassed. He ran a hand over his bald head, his gaze down to the floor.
“What happened?” Rohan asked.
“I just decided… I don’t know,” Gray said lifting his stare. “I didn’t want Jamie going through this alone. I can’t take his pain… but I can suffer an indignity with him.”
Rohan’s heart twisted in his chest. He wanted to go to the omega, draw him close…
He closed his eyes and forced the thoughts away. When he reopened them, he met Gray’s lonely stare, and the need once again roared within.
“What did Jamie say when he saw it?”
Gray chuckled. “He was a bit shocked, to say the least. Told me I shouldn’t have. But I think there was something within him that was pleased.”
“I bet.” Rohan turned to look at his still sleeping omega. “He sent me a message, begging me to come home early. Is there something wrong?”
Gray frowned. “We’ve had a lovely day. He hasn’t been all that sick. I was able to get a little broth into him, which was a small miracle, I think.”
Jamie was once again meddling, more than likely. “And the new nurse?”
“I already sent him home,” Gray said. “He’s terrible. I hope Jefre will be returning soon.”
“I’ve already called the service. They’ll send another tomorrow. Hopefully one better than this one. Jefre should be ready to return later in the week or the beginning of next.”
“Good,” Gray said. “I wasn’t supposed to come tomorrow, but perhaps I should? In case the nurse isn’t any better?”
“I’m working from home tomorrow. We should have it all in hand.”
Gray nodded, looking away. “Alright then… I suppose I’ll go ahead and head home.”
“The car won’t be here for a while,” Rohan said.
“It’s fine. I can catch the trolley. If you can call and cancel the car?”
“You’d still be home sooner if you waited for the car,” Rohan said. “There’s no reason to rush on my account.”
Gray hand slid down his swollen stomach, drawing Rohan’s stare along with it. He bit back a groan, his inner beast loving the look of the omega growing large with his child.
“There’s every reason to rush on your account,” Gray whispered. He spun and headed down.
Rohan followed Gray and caught the omega at the bottom of the stairs. He drew Gray into his arms and hugged the man close. When he pulled back, he lifted the omega’s chin up with one finger.
“I never understood this connection you and Jamie had… and almost thought my omega daft for his romanticized comments about his love for you.”
Gray met his stare, his eyes shining with a mixture of want and need.
“Now I understand. I can see you for the man you are… and a tiny part of me wishes things were different for you and I. Because I could see myself falling quite in love with you, too.”
Gray remained silent, but there was a look to his face that spoke volumes. “But things can’t be different for us. No matter how much either of us wishes… and I’m glad for it. Because I wouldn’t have Jamie in my life if it had been any different.”
“I love my Jamie with all my heart. I didn’t mean for it to sound as if I wanted him any less. He’s everything to me.”
Gray lifted a hand and cupped the side of Rohan’s cheek. “As he should be.”
Rohan didn’t want to let go when Gray swept out of his arms, but he did, still feeling the bare caress at the side of his face. He watched as the omega slipped out of the house, leaving him in silence.
“And when I’m not here anymore?”
Rohan lifted his stare to see Jamie watching from the gallery, gripping the bannister tightly. He righted himself and turned to face his omega, shame making it hard to speak. “What are you doing out of bed?”
“Go after him.”
Pain slammed into Rohan. Jamie’s constant pushing was rubbing him raw. He shook his head. “No. I won’t.”
“I won’t be here much longer.”
“I won’t imagine a time or place when you aren’t at my side where you belong.”
Jamie scoffed. “My love… we both know our time is at an end.”
Rohan closed his eyes for a brief moment, trying to erase that thought from his mind.
“When I’m gone… you’ll be free to love him. With my blessing.”
Rohan shook his head. “I won’t hear any more of it.”
Jamie wobbled a bit and gripped the railing. Rohan rushed up to be at his mate’s side. Lifting the slight man into his arms, he looked down at the man who held his heart. “Come back to our room… please. If our time is so short, I want to make the most of it. Can you give me that?”
Jamie lifted a hand to caress the same spot Gray just had.
“I will.”
Rohan smiled.
“Only… if you promise me you’ll go on and live your life after I’m gone. That you will love again.”
Rohan’s smile faded. “I will go on. More than that, I can’t say.”
Jamie smiled. “You just admitted you already loved him. I suppose that will have to be good enough for me. For now.”
Ignoring those words, Rohan carried his omega into their bedroom and laid him to one side. “I’ll pack up your belongings and bring them back in here.”
After returning Jamie’s things to the closets and the drawers, he felt somewhat better. Later… when he drew his mate into his arms without protest, he sighed with pleasure.
And pain.
Fearful of what came next.
But he wasn’t going to let fear win that night. He’d already gotten one victory… he needed to hold tight to that and celebrate the small victories. Enough little ones and maybe he’d get that miracle after all.
* * * *
A new head of hair…
A few weeks later, Gray got the call that the wig he’d made was done. He gathered the very tiny bit of money he had in savings and headed across town to pick it up. As soon as he stepped off the trolley, he walked the three blocks to the shop.
Waddled was more like it.
He’d passed the six-month milestone some days before. Even though he still had four more to go, he was already extremely swollen. There was little doubt now that he carried an alpha child. He’d be more surprised if it wasn’t.
Traveling was becoming much more difficult, but he was happy to make the trip to see how things had turned out. As soon as he entered the shop, the bell over the door tinkled.
“Hello!” a voice called from the back. “I’ll be out in just a moment.”
“Hello,” Gray answered as he slipped inside and shut the door, garnering him another ring of the bell.
Like the last time he’d been there—to drop off his hair—his stare searched the room. It was filled with mannequin heads in all manner of wigs. From short to long, with all kinds of shades, they gave plenty of ideas. But these out front were made of artificial hair, and therefore less expensive and less desired. Gray had been assured the wig made of real hair would look more like the real thing once worn.
“Hello again,” the wig stylist said as he exited the rear of the shop. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”
“No problem,” Gray said with a smiled.
“Oh, Mr. Tomlinson, so nice to see you. I’ve got your wig ready in the back. Just give me two seconds to grab it.”
The beta went back to fetch it and returned in an instant, carrying the long, flowing wig on a mannequin head. Gray gasped at how lovely it looked. It was even styled, pulled away from the face and the temples swept into an intricate braided weave—though most of it still hung straight toward the floor.
“I hope you don’t mind. I went ahead and put it into style I thought your friend might like. It’ll make it a little easier to put on and keep neat.”
Gray smiled, running a hand over the silky strands. “It’s perfect.” He pulled out his wallet and turned to the man. “How much do I owe you?”
The stylist hedged. “I know we discussed a certain amount…”
Gray tensed. He wasn’t prepared to pay any more than what was quoted.
“…but after thinking it over and talking to you… I’m only going to charge you for the supplies it cost to make.”
Gray relaxed a bit. “Why?”
The beta smiled. “I see men coming in almost every day to sell their hair. Never have I met anyone who cut theirs off in order to honor an ill friend and gift them with it. It made me feel as if charging you would be unfair of me.”
“You put many hours into making it. You deserve to be paid for that.”
The beta shook his head. “No. I won’t have it. I was very touched by what you did for someone you love. It helped to remind me to appreciate the ones I love.” He chuckled. “And it helped end a quarrel I was having with someone I care about. So consider it my thanks to you.”
Gray smiled. “I’m glad it helped you, then.”
The shopkeeper rung up the sale, and Gray very much appreciated the lower cost. He paid for the wig and watched as the beta wrapped it up and explained how to care for it. Once he’d given his thanks, Gray raced out, more than ready to deliver it.
The following morning, the brown paper package rested over his lap. Gray nearly bounced in his seat with excitement, and the car seemed to be moving much slower than normal. “Can we speed it up a little?”
The driver was one they’d had before several times and liked. He looked through the rearview mirror at Gray. “Does Mr. Jamie have an appointment today?”
Gray smiled. “No. Not today. I just have something I’m very excited to give him.”
“Ah,” the driver said before hitting the gas a bit more. “Then we can’t keep him waiting.”
* * * *
Visions of the past…
Rohan helped settle Jamie on the chaise in the sunroom before rising to his full height. “Would you like something to eat or drink?”
“No. I’m not quite ready yet,” Jamie admitted.
He chuckled. “Do I not make your tea and toast right? Or is that a job better left for Gray?”
Jamie smiled. “He is a bit better of a cook.”
Rohan looked at his watch. “Well, you won’t wait too much longer. He should be here any moment… which means it’s time for me to go.”
“I really wish you wouldn’t,” Jamie murmured.
“Wouldn’t what?”
“Go.”
Rohan eyed Jamie.
“As if I couldn’t tell you both avoid each other whenever possible,” Jamie added.
“It’s best this way. He and I agree.”
“Best for who? Me?” Jamie asked.
Rohan sat down on the edge of the chaise. “I wish you would stop. I love you. You. Not him.” They’d finally gotten back into one room… with Jamie allowing him a few hugs and caresses again. After the famine he’d been through, he felt rich.
But he hated the constant badgering about what came next. It seemed to come more often now.
Jamie sighed. “You have room for us both in your heart.”
“Perhaps. But the more you push, the more I want to fight against it. And I haven’t given up on us yet.”
Jamie growled as Rohan placed a chaste kiss on his forehead.
“Growl all you want,” he said. “I refuse to let you continue pushing me away.”
Rohan heard the door open and shut, and realized he was late leaving. “Damn.”
Jamie reached a hand out and grabbed Rohan’s arm. “There’s no rush. You can at least say hello. Ask him how he’s doing. See how big his belly is getting.”
Rohan hadn’t laid eyes on Gray since they’d had their moment at the base of the stairs, when he’d nearly stepped across the line. He wasn’t ready to face the omega yet.
But he’d have no choice, it seemed. Gray came rushing into the room, looking excited.
“Good morning!”
“Morning,” Rohan murmured, rising from the chaise. His stare went straight to Gray’s full belly and a rush of lust hit him. How he wanted to move closer… stroke the swell… lay kisses along Gray’s stomach.
“I have something for you,” Gray said, brushing past Rohan to lay a brown paper package in Jamie’s lap.
Jamie grinned and opened it.
Rohan frowned when he saw Jamie’s scrunched up face, lit with horror. Worry hit him when he saw a shine of tears in Jamie’s eyes.
“Well. Let’s put it on,” Gray said before lifting a wig from the wrapping and sliding it onto Jamie’s head.
Once it was settled, Rohan stared. It was almost like he was looking at the mate he recalled from so long ago—a past he scarcely remembered anymore. Before the cancer. Before the division Jamie thought would save him. Before, when things were wonderful and there was no fear in their lives.
“This is your hair,” Jamie murmured to Gray. “Isn’t it?”
Gray smiled as he sat on the side of the chaise to look at Gray. “It is. I remember you saying my shade was close to what yours was before chemo.”
“You shouldn’t have,” Jamie replied, but even as he said it, one hand swept down the smooth locks, a true smile growing on his face.
It had been a few weeks since Rohan had seen that smile. And he was damned grateful that Gray had put it there.
“But you could’ve sold this hair… you should have. I didn’t need it.”
Gray brushed a few errant strands back, a loving smile on his face. “No. Maybe you didn’t need it. But sometimes the best things in life are those that exist just to make us happy. Seeing this smile on your face now… makes it more than worth it.”
Jamie blinked back tears… and Rohan had to admit to fighting his own.
Gray rose to his feet. “Ready for some breakfast?” He grimaced and placed a hand to his expanded belly and took a step back.
Rohan leapt forward, concerned. “What’s wrong?”
“He’s got a hell of a kick is all,” Gray said before grimacing again. The omega then grabbed one of Rohan’s hands and pressed the palm to his belly.
Rohan felt the next kick, and a smile spread across his lips. Gray reached for Jamie’s hand, too, and placed it near Rohan’s.
“He’s strong,” Jamie whispered before lifting his stare to Gray’s. A smile illuminated his face. “I knew he would be.”
Rohan turned his attention to Gray, who wore a smile of his own. My gods he’s glowing. Rohan’s heart skipped a beat, and he felt the instinct rising.
Gray met Rohan’s stare and backed away a step, his smile fading. He looked to Jamie. “I’ll go grab us our breakfast.”
Rohan hated that he seemed to cause that reaction in Gray. He watched the omega leaving, wishing there was a way they could exist in the same world without him feeling shame every damned time.
He turned to look at Jamie—who seemed to have been watching him intently. Ignoring the question in his mate’s eyes, he focused on the shimmer of hair tumbling down his back. He reached out and touched it, his hand sliding down the silky strands. “It looks good on you.”
“I can’t believe he did this. I wish he hadn’t… his hair was beautiful. And now it’s gone.”
“It’ll grow back,” Rohan said. “As yours will soon.”
Jamie smiled wanly. “You know… I’d had a thought before he gave me this gift… and now I really want to do something for him. I can’t do it all on my own… and I hate asking the nurses to do more than they already do for me.”
“What do you need?”
Jamie looked about the room. “This would be a lovely art studio for Gray.”
Rohan frowned. “Already trying to move him in?”
“No,” Jamie said. “But I asked him a few days ago if he’d been painting and it seems he hasn’t in months. With all the long hours he’s here with me, he could possibly spend some of it doing something he loves. And I think I’d be fascinated just watching him create.” Jamie paused. “Really… I just want him to know how much we appreciate him coming and making sure I’m not alone. His friendship… it means so very much to me.”
“Then how can I say no?” Rohan looked around the large room. At one point, Jamie had tried his hand at growing things. The last remnants of the dried-up plants left in the room reminded him how that had fared. It might as well find use one way or another. “I haven’t the foggiest what he’d need.”
“I’m sure the art supply store could help us get started. And then, I can ask him later if there’s anything we might’ve missed.”
Rohan nodded. “I’ll call an art shop once I get to the office. Maybe they can gather it all and deliver, as well.”
Jamie squeezed his hand. “Thank you.”
Rohan looked down to their linked hands and hated how skeletal his omega’s was. Every day Jamie was slipping further away. He lifted his stare to the gaunt face inside the wig and forced a wide smile. “You’re welcome, my love.” He leaned down to kiss Jamie’s hand. “I better get going. Enjoy your breakfast.”
As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he saw Gray exiting the kitchen with a tray. A tea pot, two cups. Fresh cut fruit. Toast with marmalade on the side. And there was a dark pink tulip sprouting from a small vase. Spring was coming, but he hadn’t seen many flowers yet.
“Where did you get the tulip?” Rohan said as he pulled on his jacket.
“From my garden at home. Jamie leaves the house so infrequently… I thought I’d bring a little outside to him.”
Rohan lifted his briefcase and eyed Gray. “You’re good to him. I can’t tell you how much it means to me. I’ll never be able to repay your kindness.”
“I love him,” Gray murmured with a slight smile. “So nothing needs to be repaid.”
Rohan held Gray’s stare, his heart aching.
“Have a good day at work,” Gray said before passing him and heading up the stairs.
Rohan watched him, wanting nothing more to stay and be with them both. When Gray was out of sight, he headed for his car and slid inside. He gripped the wheel, knuckles white, and roared in rage. He wanted to put his fist through something… someone… anything to take away the fury he felt.
At himself.
The feelings he had were wrong.
He could see Gray in his mind whispering, I love him, and wishing it had been about him.
Because somewhere along the way, he’d fallen in love with Gray.
And hated himself for it.