Chapter Twenty-One
Throwing his keys down on the entryway table, Kian moved through the large foyer of his house, bypassing the double staircase and walking down the seemingly endless hallway. For some reason, the house seemed extra empty tonight. His footsteps echoed off the walls as he walked past pictures of his family, not bothering to look at them.
He didn’t want to admit to what he was feeling, but loneliness came to mind before he pushed it away. He was a successful doctor, a brother, a son, and now a father. That last title got to him, though, because his daughter should be there with him. This place was meant to have children in it, was meant to absorb the sound of laughter. How much longer was he going to be able to stand not having Lily with him?
He knew he wouldn’t last a long time. But he didn’t want just Lily, he wanted Roxie as well. Of course, he would love and want his daughter just on her own, but he wanted it all now. He’d bought this place a few months before Roxie had left. He’d planned on sharing it with her. It had been getting a complete remodel in those months before she’d walked away, and she’d never even seen the inside of it.
Kian went to his den, normally a haven to him, and wasn’t looking at anything as he usually did. Instead of enjoying the beautiful fireplace and hardwood floors, he only saw empty spaces where his child or, for that matter, children, should be crawling around. He wanted to sit in this room, cuddle up on the couch while a fire roared, with Roxie in his arms and Lily playing with action figures. Hey, a girl could be a superhero, too.
But instead, he moved to the liquor cabinet and poured himself a scotch. He couldn’t stand being in the room, so he left, crystal glass in hand as he made his way to the back staircase. He moved up them two at a time and went down the hallway, stopping in front of a door. His hand caressed the wood, and he told himself not to open it. But Kian didn’t seem to be listening to himself very well at the moment.
He pushed open the door and felt so much loneliness in that moment, he didn’t know what to think. Stepping inside, he glanced around the room. A large princess bed sat in the center of the room, purple drapes hanging down from the tall posts. It truly was a bed fit for a queen, which his little girl was.
He’d had the room done the moment he’d known she was his. He wanted her to step into his house and feel at home instantly. He’d wanted her to never want to leave. Maybe the room would help accomplish this. He’d given his assistant carte blanche to do whatever she thought a nearly four-year-old would want. His sister had been impressed, so he thought it had been a pretty good job.
Not able to stand being in the empty room any longer, he quickly left and moved to his own room. It was almost as difficult to be in there as it was to be in Lily’s quiet bedroom. But he couldn’t kick himself out of the room he slept in. Not that he wanted to sleep there. He wanted to be with Roxie. Why couldn’t the woman just admit she wanted him? He knew she wasn’t fighting him so much as she was fighting herself. He just wasn’t sure what to do about it.
He refilled his glass with a bottle he had in his bedroom, then took a quick shower and settled down on his bed. He had a book to download. A smile flittered across his lips. He had to see what had gotten Roxie so embarrassed as she’d admitted to reading romance. He couldn’t believe there were porn books for women. There was no way it could be any good, he thought. Maybe it would bore him enough to make him have a great night’s sleep for the first time in ages.
Sitting in his nice warm bed, he laughed when he found the cover to the book. He double-checked it was the right title, then shrugged and hit the “Buy” button. He’d have to skim the thing because there was no way he was going to get into the story line. When Kian read for pleasure, he wanted action and murder, and always entertainment. He mostly read nonfiction, so his limited fiction time had better absorb him pretty damn quickly.
Kian was a fast reader, and an hour into the book, he was shocked. What the hell? He found himself laughing out loud at some of the scenes, and though he wouldn’t admit to this, not even with a gun pointed at his head, he was entertained, for sure. This wasn’t anything like he’d expected.
Was it real world? Hell, no. This sort of thing didn’t happen in real life. But even as he thought that, he began to think of his own story with Roxie. Heck, he thought a book could be written about them, if someone wanted to take the time. They’d had their ups and downs, hell, were still going through a down time. It might make a decent story. He chuckled. Nah. His life wasn’t entertaining enough to read about.
He continued reading as he got absorbed back into the story. If his brothers knew what he was reading right now, he’d never hear the end of it. Never! He wondered, though, if his sister had read the book. He wanted to ask her, but then she’d want to know how he even knew about it, and that was a question he wasn’t at all willing to answer.
He found himself laughing again as the hero of the story, Brett, tried to give dating advice to the woman who was making him harder than a rock. Yeah, Kian definitely knew how that felt. He seemed to be solid 99 percent of the time he was around Roxie, even after having a perfectly good orgasm. He’d always been insatiable when it came to her.
No other woman had made him want to stay naked twenty-four-seven. Kian wouldn’t lie, not even in his own head. He loved sex. He loved everything about sex. He could do it on a moment’s notice. Hell, the species would die out if not for sex. It was his duty to perform the act. Yeah, he liked that; it was his duty, his obligation. But with Roxie, oh, with Roxie, it was so much more. He could run his hands along her smooth flesh morning, noon, and night.
Dammit! Now he was throbbing again. Maybe he should stop reading now. Nope. He was too into this damn story and wanted to see what else the hero could do to screw things up. People were so stupid sometimes. Why wouldn’t they just be honest with each other? Maybe because playing a few games made life that much more interesting.
Hell if he knew all the answers. He didn’t even know how his own mind worked, let alone what the answers to life were all about. Kian got to the next chapter of the book and found himself swallowing hard. Ah shit, this wasn’t going to be good for his anatomy. He could tell right from the next line.
Alisha walked over to the door that connected her room to Brett’s and laid a hand on it.
Stop now! He was already throbbing, and this book had proved to him he no longer needed to pick up a copy of Playboy to read something sexy. Not that he’d done that in a while, he defended himself. Instead of stopping, though, he continued reading. The heroine was thinking about all the nice things Brett had done for her. Smart lady. See! He wanted to call up Roxie right this instant. Look, in your book you’re so enamored with, the heroine understands what a great guy the hero is. She’s lamenting about the wonderful things he’s done for her.
Kian grinned. Yeah, she’s thinking about those nice things, and she’s gonna get naked. He laughed out loud. Maybe it was good he was only having these thoughts instead of speaking them. He might come across as a pig. Hell, all men were pigs. Women had to know that by now. They were controlled by sex, food, and power. Love, too, he added. He did a lot out of love. Love for his family, for his career, for sex, and for food. He chuckled again, then continued to read.
I’m a survivor. If he breaks my heart, I’ll pick myself up and go on.
Kian stopped. Those words hit him hard. Was that how Roxie felt? She had every right to feel that way. She’d survived so much. Was she broken in more ways than he could have imagined? Was there something more he could do for her to help her heal?
Shaking his head, Kian continued reading, then cringed. What the hell? He could do without male body parts being described.
Her gaze slid lower, across his flat stomach to his dark-blue briefs that did nothing to conceal his enormous erection.
Yeah, Kian would bet the guy had a giant sock in his pants. Not many men were as blessed as he was when it came to a satisfying cock. He knew what he had, and he was more than happy to please his woman with it. But in a book, he supposed an author couldn’t exactly say something like, His three-inch penis was gonna pound her so hard. Kian laughed again. Maybe he should stick to doctoring and not try to write a romance book.
Her thighs quivered as warmth spread through her.
Now we’re getting somewhere! Kian was picturing Roxie reading this, her thighs quivering, her hot core getting wet. He should stop. He really should stop. But there was no way he was going to now.
Thoughts evaporated from Kian’s mind as he got absorbed in the love scene. His mind flashed with images of Roxie and him tangled up on his giant bed. He read the scene and imagined doing all the hero was doing with her. He wanted her so badly, he was about to explode without a single touch to his body.
. . . flicked his tongue back and forth over her nipple . . .
. . . tongue darted across her lower lips . . .
His tongue plunged in and out of her . . .
. . . dipped the tip of his cock into her . . .
That’s it! He had to admit he was officially a romance-book fan. Kian threw down his Kindle, his breathing heavy. He needed Roxie, and he needed her now. He picked up his phone. How persuasive he could be?