Chapter Five
Lily was fast asleep when the three of them pulled up to Kian’s place, and Roxie was grateful. What had she been thinking? Maybe it had been a few years and she’d somewhat forgotten the wealth of the Forbes family. That had to be the only explanation for the awe she felt looking at the mansion Kian called home.
She didn’t live in this world in any way. She was used to eating ramen and living on four hours of sleep so she could pick up extra shifts. Sure, she was a nurse, but that meant she had a lot of school debt to pay off, and she’d been on her own for a long time.
Maybe one of the reasons she’d left Kian had been resentment. Everything came so easily to him. It wasn’t his fault he’d been born with money and respect, and it wasn’t her fault she envied him a little for it. It was just how life worked out.
“Shit,” Kian mumbled beneath his breath, startling Roxie.
“What?” she asked, afraid to wonder what he could possibly have to worry about.
“It looks like my brothers are here,” he told her with a sigh.
“Why?” she asked. She in no way wanted to run into any of his family members, not with their past together, and certainly not with this newfound knowledge circling in her head. She never had been much of a liar.
“I’ve kept my family informed about what’s happening, and they want to meet their niece,” he told her. “It won’t take long to get rid of them.”
“Just take Lily and me somewhere else,” she pleaded.
“Not gonna happen,” he said as he opened the garage door and pulled inside.
Roxie looked around and felt herself growing sicker by the second. She counted twelve car bays—and all of them were filled. She didn’t want to think about the price tag on each vehicle. Kian certainly didn’t mind spending money. That was for dang sure.
Kian was out of the car and around to her door before she could undo her seat belt. He stood there waiting, as if he had all the time in the world. Roxie wished she could find the same confidence that had gotten her through college right about now. When she’d gone away for her education, she had left the pathetic Roxie behind. Somehow the second she’d crossed the city-limits sign, all her insecurities had come roaring back. She hated herself a little for feeling that way.
Doing her best to shake herself from her poor-me attitude, she climbed from the passenger seat and stood up, making sure to move a couple of feet away from Kian. Standing too close to him was like looking directly at the sun, and she feared her skin and eyes would be seared before too long.
After she was safely out of the vehicle, he moved to the back door and carefully undid Lily from her brand-new booster seat, then lifted her into his arms. She cuddled against him, and a look of awe settled over his features. He was already far too attached to Lily, and that was more terrifying than anything else to Roxie. She felt as if she was losing her a little more as each day passed.
“Come on,” Kian said as he moved forward. Roxie didn’t look at him again to try to decide how he was feeling. She felt as much a victim as he did. He’d slept with her sister and created a child. Both of them had kept that from her. She could forgive her sister since she’d made a mistake, but could she ever forgive Kian? She didn’t think so. It was either that, or she just didn’t want to face how he made her feel.
“Welcome home,” a voice called as they stepped into a large kitchen.
Though Roxie had been nervous to see Kian’s brothers, the moment she looked up and saw the pleasure on their faces, she couldn’t help but give an answering grin. She’d always loved Kian’s family, even if she had wanted to avoid them after what she’d done.
“Roxie, it’s so good to see you. We wanted to come to the hospital, but Kian asked us to wait,” Owen said as he took a few strides in her direction.
Before she had even a moment to say a word, he pulled her into his arms, her feet leaving the ground as he cut the air right out of her lungs in a bear hug that had her squeaking as she tried to breathe.
“Sorry,” he said as he released her.
“I guess you forgot your own strength,” she said, almost feeling as if she’d just run a marathon.
“Yeah, and I missed you,” he said with a sheepish smile that had her heart leaping. He might be a beast of a man with shoulders almost too wide to fit through standard doorways, but he’d always been a giant teddy bear. She might even admit, if only in her head, that he was her favorite sibling of Kian’s. Those shoulders were perfect, too, since he was a fireman who absolutely loved his job.
“I missed you, too,” she admitted, her cheeks reddening just a little.
“What about me?” Arden asked with his own tamped-down grin as he approached next and hugged her with less force, but still hard enough to constrict her lungs.
“Yes, of course, Arden. It’s great to see you,” she assured him. Seeing these wonderful men was helping her push back the unbearable grief she’d been feeling for weeks. He smiled at her before flicking her hair away from her face. She shifted on her feet as she looked over at Declan.
Declan rarely wore any emotion on his face, and he’d been the hardest of Kian’s siblings to get to know, and, if truth be told, he intimidated her a little. He’d never been anything other than kind to her, but there was an edge to him that kept her feeling as if she should confess every secret she had while holding out her hands so he could arrest her.
He stepped forward and gave her a light hug, quickly pulling back, and Roxie didn’t quite know what to say.
“Um . . . good to see you, Declan,” she said awkwardly.
“I’m sorry it’s under these circumstances,” Arden told her. And just like that, the pain was at the front of her mind. She flinched.
“We decided not to speak about that,” Declan said with a growl.
“I’d rather not,” Roxie admitted.
“Then we won’t.” They all turned and looked at Kian, who held Lily tightly against him. He hadn’t said anything so far at this family reunion, but he finally sighed.
“How did you keep Mom and Dad from coming here?” Kian asked.
“We didn’t want to overwhelm Roxie and Lily right when they’re getting home from the hospital,” Owen said.
“And you three being here isn’t overwhelming?” Kian said with a raised brow.
“Okay, we didn’t tell them you were coming home right now,” Arden admitted.
“That’s what I thought,” Kian said. Roxie had a feeling he was going to catch hell for that one.
“Why don’t you tell us what you’ve been doing since you’ve been gone?” Owen said as he tried to switch the subject. Roxie was grateful.
“She’s been living in Portland,” Declan said quietly.
Her gaze locked with his as his brothers turned and looked at him, all of them looking confused. Roxie didn’t know what to think of Declan knowing exactly where she’d been. Intimidated would be a good first word, she thought.
“How in the hell do you know that?” Kian asked, glaring at his brother.
“I like to know things,” Declan said with a shrug. Yep, he still intimidated her, she decided.
“Maybe you should mind your own business,” Kian grumbled. Roxie had a feeling the brothers would be talking more later when she wasn’t in hearing range. She kind of wished she could be a fly on the wall for that conversation.
“Never going to happen,” Declan assured his sibling.
“We can gossip later. It looks like Lily needs a warm bed,” Owen said, always the first of the brothers to break up tension. It was odd how nothing at all had changed in the four years since Roxie had left.
“I really could use some rest as well,” Roxie said, hoping they’d allow her to escape.
Instant remorse flashed across all the brothers’ faces, even Declan’s, which surprised her.
“I’m really sorry,” Owen said. The brothers instinctively moved a few inches closer to her, as if forming a protective circle.
Roxie’s throat suddenly closed up, and she found herself incapable of speaking. This had to have been the worst couple of weeks of her life, and before this had happened, she would have thought leaving Kian had been the hardest. It wasn’t going to get any easier, no matter how much time passed.
Kian moved closer to her side, and instead of feeling uncomfortable, she suddenly wanted to lean against him. He always had managed to carry her burdens for her. But wasn’t that one of the things that had made her lose her identity in the first place? It was odd how easy it was to want that again.
The sympathy flashing across his face was too much for her, though. She didn’t want to keep seeing that expression in everyone’s eyes. She didn’t want them feeling sorry for her. That wasn’t going to help her process her grief.
“I’m going to be fine, but I really just need to be able to take care of Lily, and I can’t do that if I keep dwelling on the loss of my sister,” she assured the men circling her.
“It really is okay to take a little bit of time for yourself to grieve and pull yourself together so you can be strong for Lily,” Kian assured her.
Arden moved over to a liquor cabinet and poured a stiff drink, then brought it over to her. She automatically took it when he held it out, then stood there not knowing what to do.
“Just drink it. You’ll feel much better,” he assured her.
She looked at Owen, who nodded. “You will, I promise,” he quietly said.
Roxie didn’t have the will to fight all of them, so she lifted the glass and actually enjoyed the sensation of the burn as the fine alcohol slid down her throat.
They were all right. She did need to pull herself together so she could be there for Lily when she woke up. The next weeks, and then months and years, for that matter, weren’t going to be easy on either of them. They had to stick together, and that meant Roxie had to be strong. It felt good to let her strength recharge.
“Lily and I really should rest,” she told the brothers as she glanced at Lily, who was shifting in Kian’s arms.
“I agree,” Kian said intensely as he captured her gaze.
Roxie suddenly forgot about Kian’s brothers being in the room. The bolt of electricity sparking through her made her stress disappear, and her hormones light up. Maybe it was her wanting to forget her sorrow, and maybe it was the fact that she’d been refusing to think about her feelings for this man. She didn’t know and didn’t care. She suddenly wanted his lips on hers in a way she’d never thought she’d want again.
Lily stirred in his arms again, and that broke the spell between them. She looked away in relief, knowing there was certainly something wrong with her. Maybe more than she could ever possibly fix.
It was both with sadness and relief that she was led away from the Forbes brothers and into a room where the two of them tucked Lily into bed. She stood next to Kian, and all of the trauma from the past few weeks began to truly sink in. Her body trembled as she looked at Lily, who let out a sigh as she turned over in bed, clutching her favorite stuffed pink horse.
“She’s strong,” Kian said, pure awe in his voice.
“Yes, she’s been through far too much already,” Roxie told him.
“We can do this,” he assured her.
Tears dripped down Roxie’s cheeks. He’d said “we” not “I”—not just him. She wanted it to be just her, or did she? She wasn’t sure of anything right now but the need to clear her head. She didn’t say anything more to him.
After another couple of minutes, he led her from the room. The two of them shared one more intense look before she shut her own bedroom door and leaned against it, letting a few more tears fall before she stood strong.
Tomorrow would be a new day. She’d be much stronger then, she assured herself.