Chapter Twenty-Four
Kian couldn’t help but smile as he stretched out on Roxie’s bed. If she seriously thought he was so easy to dismiss, then she truly had forgotten all about him in their years apart. That thought didn’t bode so well for him.
He hadn’t forgotten a single thing about her—not the way her body felt, not the sound of her laughter, or the way her cheeks would give her away every single time. He had been in love with her, and he was coming to the conclusion that no matter how hard he’d tried to forget her, he still was in love with her.
He truly had no idea how she felt about him, though. Kian didn’t like this uncertainty, but he had never been a person to run from his problems. When he’d found her and Lily all cozy in the barn with the vet, he’d wanted to punch Evan in the face, then put Roxie over his shoulder and smack her ass a few times before taking her home and proving to her over and over again who she belonged to.
The second he’d had Lily in his arms, he’d calmed down. Of course Evan wouldn’t try anything with his woman. That would never happen. But it was much easier to be rational when he wasn’t filled with jealousy. He’d waited at that damn bakery for a half hour before realizing she wasn’t showing up. It hadn’t taken much investigative work to figure out where she was.
He’d been jealous all the way out there, and, well, it had piqued. But tonight had been ideal for him. He’d been able to have dinner with the two most important ladies in his life, and then he’d gotten to read a story to his daughter before tucking her into bed. She’d fallen asleep almost instantly.
Now, he’d been waiting in Roxie’s room for a half hour. He was glad she was taking her time. It allowed him to calm himself and to think. Roxie was scared. He wasn’t sure of what exactly, but she was scared.
When that happened, she tended to want to run. Kian just had to be strong enough for the both of them to not allow her to do that. He could certainly hold the burden of their problems on his wide shoulders. He’d be more than willing to do so. He just had to know what they were, first.
She should trust him a little bit by now. He had the power to take Lily anytime he wanted, and he hadn’t attempted to do that. He didn’t want Lily not to have Roxie. He wanted them all to be a family. He just wasn’t sure how to make it happen. He didn’t want to come on too strong and cause her to run again, but he didn’t want to move too slowly, either.
He wished life could be just a little bit simpler at times. But then where would the fun be in that? He heard the bathroom door open, and his heart skipped a beat. The lamp was on the lowest setting, and the moment she walked into the bedroom, she’d know she wasn’t alone. His eyes were fixed on the door.
Kian’s breath was literally stolen from his body when she stepped into the room. Her head was down as she ruffled a towel through her long, dark tresses, her freshly bathed scent drifting to him, making him hard as a boulder.
His arousal poked up through his boxers, which were all he was wearing, and his stomach twitched. He curled his fingers into fists to keep from launching himself through the air toward her.
She had nothing on but a skimpy towel that was barely covering the top of her thighs, and her generous cleavage was about to spill out as she leaned forward. She still hadn’t noticed him when she moved forward and sat on the edge of the bed, her head down as she scrubbed the top of her head.
Her smell was intoxicating, and though Kian had hoped the two of them would be making love this night, it hadn’t been his main objective when he’d gotten comfortable on her bed. He’d wanted the two of them to talk first. He wasn’t sure he had the willpower to make that happen now, though, not when she was so unwittingly tempting him.
“Damn,” he growled, startling her, and she twisted. The action caused the towel around her body to open and fall away, revealing the undeniable beauty of her flesh.
Within seconds, he had her beneath him, and his lips were on hers. His hunger was nearly uncontrollable as he plunged his tongue into her mouth, his hands smoothing down her sides. She whimpered against him as she reached for him, her own need catching fire as quickly as his.
“I wanted to talk,” he said as he wrenched his lips from hers, then dived into the crook of her neck and sucked her sweet skin. “But then you came in here looking like this, and I’ve lost my mind.”
She whimpered as she arched her back into him. Her hard nipples were pressing against his chest, her legs spread wide beneath him.
“Take me. Make me stop thinking,” she demanded.
The pain of her words nearly brought him back to reality, but she arched her back again and rubbed her hot core against him, and he lost his mind before rationality could seep through. She opened her lips and begged for a kiss, and he gladly obliged, sealing their mouths together.
They tore at each other’s skin as if they couldn’t get close enough, and Kian reached between their bodies and freed himself just enough to plunge inside her. He swallowed her cry of pleasure and pounded against her in a frenzy of movement.
He felt her clench around him, and he had to fight not to let go with her. This was too fast. He should have been sated enough to love her for hours. But he desired her so much, he couldn’t get enough. And looking down at her flushed face was making him come undone.
Her thighs gripped him tightly, and he stopped moving for a moment to catch his breath. “More, I want more,” she demanded.
Kian smiled down at her. “You’re a greedy little thing, aren’t you?” he said. He leaned down and sucked the curve of her shoulder, leaving his mark there.
“Yes, I want more,” she demanded.
There was a new urgency in her tone he couldn’t possibly deny. Kian jumped up and shed his shorts, his erection wet and ready for more. He looked down at her flushed body and nearly came.
“You better be damn glad I didn’t leave when you so easily dismissed me,” he growled.
Her eyes widened, and then she looked at him defiantly. That only turned him on more. He reached down and flipped her over, causing a squeal to escape her pretty little lips. He reached out and smacked her once on her perfect little cheek, making an outraged squeal escape from her throat.
She wrenched her head around to give him a piece of her mind, but he climbed on the bed, grasped her luscious hips, and slammed himself inside her again, buried so deep he didn’t want to ever stop making love.
Any protests she might have been ready to give him evaporated, and she faced forward and called out his name, demanding more. His hips surged forward, his body making a perfect sound as it slapped against hers. Her ass turned a sweet pink as he pounded against her over and over again. His fingers dug into her skin, and he couldn’t stop loving her.
She called out for more and more, and he gave her what she needed, what they both needed. He climbed on top of her, grabbing her hair with one hand as he pounded against her tight flesh while he reached around her sweet body and gripped her full breast with the other. Her nipple stabbed into his palm, and he felt a massive explosion building.
She bit into the pillow in front of her and screamed as her body convulsed around his, and that’s all it took for him to let go and release with her. His pleasure shot deep within her, and in a few more pumps, he had nothing left to give.
Both of them collapsed on the bed, and Roxie tried crawling away from him, tried putting some distance between them. “No,” he told her, his voice harsh.
She stiffened as he pulled her back to him, her back flush with his chest, her butt cradled in the safety of his thighs. She was tense for several moments, but finally she relaxed. Neither of them had gotten their breathing under control yet.
He didn’t say a word. He knew she needed to process whatever it was she was feeling. She would talk when she felt she could. He wasn’t going anywhere, and he had the luxury of giving her the time she had to take.
This was right where Kian belonged. He was done with letting her push him away, done with accepting her rejection. She was his, and it was damn time she knew it. They were a family, whether they’d chosen it or not, and it was time they started acting like one.
Kian’s hand rested against her chest, and it comforted him to feel her heartbeat begin to slow. He wanted her, still. He would always want her. But for now, he was sated enough to talk to her; then he was going to make slow, sweet love to her, was going to show her with his body and mouth how much she meant.
“I want you and Lily to move in with me.”
The words escaped him before he could stop himself. Well, his good intentions of letting her speak first flew right out the damn window. He felt her stiffen again and her heart rate increase. She twitched against him, but he refused to let her go. It was what he wanted, and at one time, what she’d wanted. He didn’t see why it should have changed. They now had a daughter to think about.
“I don’t want to talk about this right now,” she finally said. She was trying to pull away from him, physically and emotionally, and he wasn’t having it.
He flipped her over on her back and trapped her with his body, forcing her to look into his eyes. The mellow light cast shadows all around them, but she couldn’t escape him like this. He could see into her very soul. He could see she was scared, but he knew it wasn’t of him.
“Why did you leave four years ago?” he asked.
She blinked, refusing to look him in the eyes. It infuriated him, but he wasn’t going anywhere, and it was damn time she knew it.
“I don’t want to talk about this,” she told him. “It’s been a long day, my body is sated, and now I just want to sleep.”
He smiled down at her, loving the crisp forcefulness of her voice as she tried to put her foot down. She’d been stubborn when he’d first met her, and it had made him want her all that much more. It helped that Kian knew exactly who he was and what he wanted. It gave him the confidence and strength to handle a woman as spirited and feisty as Roxie.
“I’ve been giving you time, and that doesn’t seem to do me a hell of a lot of good, so I figure, time’s up. You will talk to me,” he said casually, as if he had all the time in the world.
He leaned down and licked the top of her breasts, lazily circling his tongue over the soft orbs before he circled her nipple. It instantly hardened, straining for his mouth. Her hands were both clasped in one of his, being held over her head, and he loved having her at his mercy. He licked her nipple and her back arched. He looked up and smiled at her. She gave him a withering glare.
“I hate you, Kian Forbes,” she said, but the words ended on a sigh as he sucked her nipple into his mouth and ran his tongue over it.
“No, you don’t,” he said before switching to the other breast and repeating what he’d just done.
“I can desire you and still hate you,” she gasped, her body arching again.
“No, you can’t. It’s not in you,” he said.
He released her hands, and she fisted them in his hair and tugged hard. She was trying to hurt him, but she was only turning him on that much more. He tugged on her nipple with his teeth, just enough to give her a little jolt. She moaned.
“Why did you leave?” he asked again.
She closed her eyes and refused to answer him, but her fingers wrenched at his hair again.
“You’re a dangerous little thing, aren’t you?” he said with a laugh. She opened her eyes and glared at him.
Kian jumped from the bed, and she gazed at him in surprise. He was still hard and standing proud as he walked over to her dresser, and he didn’t miss the light in her eyes as she caressed him with her look.
He opened a drawer and shut it, and she gasped at him.
“Stay out of my stuff,” she said. She sat up as he opened the next drawer, finding what he wanted. He pulled them out, and her eyes narrowed as she tried to scramble from the bed, but he pounced and had her pinned again.
He grinned down at her and within seconds had her hands tightly secured to her bedpost with her own stockings. He sat on her legs and looked at his handiwork. Not too bad.
“You will pay for this,” she spat at him, tugging against her hands.
“I’m not too worried,” he told her. He leaned down and gave her a kiss that had him completely worked up again and left her panting. He had to be careful, because he wanted information from her, and he got distracted too easily by her perfect body.
He jumped up again and found another set of stockings. It didn’t take long for him to have her feet secured. If looks could kill, he’d be a dead man.
“Now this is better,” he told her with a smile. He lay on his side and ran his hands across her skin, enjoying how she quivered with each stroke of his fingers.
“Why did you leave four years ago?” he asked again.
He grabbed a pillow and held her body up, putting it beneath her ass to hold her up a little. She shook her head and then turned away, giving him a cold shoulder. He ran his hand down her stomach, then slid his fingers along her wet folds. She was soaked, which had his own arousal twitching. He easily slid two fingers inside her, then lazily moved them in and out as he sucked on her ripe nipple.
She groaned low in her throat as she struggled against her restraints. He kept stroking his fingers inside her hot body as he moved up the bed so he could see into her slatted eyes.
“Why did you leave four years ago?” he asked again before kissing her lips.
Finally, he was getting somewhere. Tears popped into her eyes, and she tried to glare at him, but emotions were coming to the surface. She was too vulnerable, completely open to him, completely at his mercy. He hated how much she was hurting, but the two of them didn’t have a chance if she didn’t face whatever it was she was running from.
“Why did you leave?” he asked again, gently kissing her as her tears began to spill. He continued gently stroking his fingers inside her body, keeping her languid and vulnerable. He wanted her, he always wanted her, but this wasn’t about sex. This was about her letting go, giving herself to him.
“Tell me,” he commanded, his voice gentle. He kissed her again, while continuing to stroke her body. Her tears fell in waves as she tried to fight the emotion. She opened her mouth to speak and closed it again. He kissed her softly once, twice, a third time. Then he rested his head against her breast, his fingers gently stroking her. He waited.
“I had to go,” she finally whispered, the sound of her broken voice nearly undoing him.
“Why?” he asked. There was no judgment in his tone. He was her friend, he was her lover, he was her soul mate. He kept her vulnerable, kept her flame going, but he was gentle, loving, right beside her. His face rested in the cradle of her chest, where he could listen to her heartbeat.
“Because . . .” She hiccupped as sob after sob released. He waited. She continued to cry while he loved her and waited.
“I was lost,” she finally said.
“I have always found you,” he told her.
“But you didn’t find me,” she said.
He wanted to stop this. He wanted to end her pain, but he knew he couldn’t. She wouldn’t be free until she let it all out. He moved over her and slowly eased his body into hers, keeping their eyes connected. He fit so perfectly within her. How could she not feel it, see it, focus on it?
Gently, his fingers caressed her face as he slowly moved his hips, filling her, touching her, loving her with all he had.
“I will always find you,” he promised. “I also know that sometimes you need to be free.” He kissed her again and then leaned back, not moving, just allowing their bodies to be one, their hearts to beat in a perfect rhythm.
“I got so lost in you, I didn’t know who I was anymore,” she said.
This was it. This was the heart of the matter. Kian didn’t know what to think about her words. She was looking him in the eyes, reaching for him, though she couldn’t break the bonds he’d secured her with. He gazed at her as he shifted his body, letting her feel their connection.
“Don’t you realize I’m just as lost in you?” he asked. He wasn’t holding anything back in this moment. He was allowing her to see into his soul. He was giving her the gift of his vulnerability, something he’d never given another living soul.
“I don’t want to be consumed,” she said.
“I don’t think we get a choice about that,” he told her. “But we can respect each other enough to try our hardest to have boundaries.”
“I don’t think I know how to walk that line,” she admitted.
He gazed at this beautiful woman and realized he didn’t have an answer for her. He didn’t know how to solve her problem. He just knew that he loved her, that he was willing to give her the space she needed to figure it out.
“I love you,” he told her. Her eyes widened, and he watched as she tried to bring down the shutters.
Kian pulled out of her and felt an indescribable emptiness. He untied her feet, then her hands. Then he climbed back on the bed and offered himself to her. It was her choice to take him or not.
She sat there for a moment and then she crawled over him, connecting their bodies again. But she didn’t want slow and sweet anymore. Now she wanted the pain to go away, she wanted to push it to the farthest places of her mind.
Kian could give her that because he’d made progress with her. He didn’t know if they were going to have a happy ending or not, but he’d opened the door. It was her choice if she wanted to walk through it.
Their lovemaking grew more and more frenzied, and when she lay sated in his arms, he held her as she drifted to sleep. Before he allowed himself to drift off, he let her go and got up.
Kian gazed down at her for a long period of time, and then he dressed and walked out the door. He wasn’t sure what would happen next, but he’d opened himself up to her. Now it was her turn to decide if she could accept what he was willing to give, or if she would choose darkness forever.