Chapter Seven
Roxie was unable to move. Panic began invading her senses as she realized she was trapped. Her heart thundered, and she snapped awake with a less-than-pleasurable entry into reality. Her eyes opening, the fogginess of her dream world was instantly snatched away as she found her gaze captured by Kian, who looked entirely too smug.
“Morning,” he told her with a low growl that had her stomach doing tiny flips.
Uh-oh. She instantly recalled her nightmare, and her rescue. Though she’d needed Kian with a desperation she wasn’t even remotely able to explain to him or herself, she also knew instantly it had been a mistake to fall back into Kian’s arms. It was going to mess with her head too much when she needed a clear mind. What in the hell was wrong with her?
“That was a mistake,” she said, her voice raspy. She chose to believe it was raspy from sleeping so soundly and not from crying out in pleasure.
“Whenever I have a night like last night, I don’t ever think of it as a mistake,” Kian told her as he pressed closer, clearly pushing his morning arousal against her suddenly aching body.
Though it took all the willpower she had left within her, Roxie pulled away from Kian, and even though there was disappointment in his gaze, he let her go. She assured herself that was what she not only needed, but wanted as well.
“I’m a horrible person, Kian. I can’t believe I allowed myself to forget what was happening for even a few minutes, let alone hours,” she said as she climbed from the bed, wishing she wasn’t naked, but reminding herself he’d seen her unclothed body too many times to count. Still, the vulnerability of being naked wasn’t what she needed right now.
“You have gone through a lot these past few weeks. Letting your mind and body go doesn’t make you a bad person,” he told her.
The sight of him lying there, looking so handsome with stubble on his cheeks and a spark in his eyes, almost made her want to turn back to him, made her want to climb on top of him. But she wasn’t that same girl she’d been when she was his. She was stronger now, and she’d made a mistake coming to his place.
“I had a nightmare, and then you were there, and I needed to forget,” she admitted.
He frowned for only a moment before his lips turned up in a grin that made her forget she was still standing in the middle of the room naked.
“You needed me,” he told her as he licked his lips. “And, admit it or not, you haven’t forgotten anything about us because you responded perfectly to my touch.”
“I’m not having this discussion with you,” she said as she turned away from him and began making her way toward his bathroom. Escape was all that was on her mind right now.
She practically ran to his bathroom, then drooled at the size of his massive shower with four different nozzles. She wasn’t sure if they all did the same thing or not, so she simply began turning them.
When hot steam began filling the gigantic space and water cascaded down, she decided she wasn’t going to ever leave this amazing shower. Though the scent of Kian’s shampoo and body wash made her think of him in ways she didn’t want to, she had no choice but to use it, knowing she was going to be thinking of him each time she inhaled today.
Maybe she’d pull herself together enough to stop being so selfish and would forget all about their night together and the fact that his smell was now coating her. She doubted it, but she could dream, she assured herself.
Taking a far shorter shower than she would have liked, she ignored the ache of her muscles and the soreness between her thighs. It had been a long time since she’d made love, more than four years, in fact, and, unfortunately, she was going to be reminded about it over the next few days whether she wanted to or not.
Right now, her only focus should be on her niece. Maybe her sister and she hadn’t ever been close, but Roxie would have never wished her only relative to perish in the way she had. She was filled with regret that she hadn’t tried harder to bring them back together. It wasn’t her sister’s fault she’d turned into the woman she had. They’d both been raised by their father, who’d been an abusive drunk. Pamela had turned to drugs and men, while Roxie had decided to freeze anyone and everyone out of her life. They both had demons to bear; they’d just chosen to deal with them in entirely different ways.
Grabbing a robe from the back of the door, she wrapped herself in it, ashamed as she stepped back into the bedroom. She really had no other choice but to put on the same clothes from the day before. Luckily, though, she’d spotted a hair dryer in the bathroom, so she grabbed her strewn clothes from the floor and slipped back inside before Kian could return to the bedroom.
She cleaned her panties and dried them off before dressing in her wrinkled clothes. Roxie had never before had to do a walk of shame from a man’s house, but it appeared as if she was going to experience many firsts in her life with Kian. Why change things now?
Though she had no idea what his address was, she decided she’d figure it out and sneak from his place as quietly as possible and call a cab or Uber driver. She didn’t think she could bear to be in a vehicle with him with his eyes raking over her. There was too much up in the air, and for now, she wanted to do what she did best—run away.
When she stepped from the bedroom and caught the scent of freshly brewed coffee, her mouth watered. But in order for her to get some, she’d certainly have to face Kian again. She was torn. As she began moving through his massive house, she decided escape was more important than caffeine.
Her cell phone was dead, and she needed to find a phone. She was sure there was one in the kitchen, but she couldn’t remember where that was. He had to have an office somewhere with a phone. Hopefully, on the side of the house opposite from where he was. She didn’t mind running right now. It seemed to be her best option.
As she turned another corner, the smells of coffee and bacon made her stomach rumble so loudly, it was as if thunder was crackling. Embarrassment made her cheeks flush as she came face-to-face with a tiny woman, who smiled at her.
“Good thing I’ve made a large breakfast,” the older woman said with a laugh as she pointed to the table. “Grab a cup of coffee and sit down. I’ll dish you up.”
“I can’t stay for food. I have to . . .” Roxie began before her words faded. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do now.
The woman tsked at her while she began piling food on a plate. Roxie knew she could ignore the woman and run from the room, but she’d always had a difficult time hurting anyone’s feelings. She assured herself her desire to stay had nothing to do with the fact that she was starving, and the woman’s cooking smelled fantastic.
“I need to make a phone call and collect my niece,” she said, attempting to leave the room again.
“Lily has already eaten, and she’s lying in the living room watching a cartoon,” the woman said.
“Oh.” She was already failing as a parent. Someone else was taking care of Lily’s basic needs. That wasn’t a good thing.
“She’s a beautiful little girl,” the woman told her. “Get your coffee.”
She decided to quit arguing. Lily was safe, and Roxie really didn’t know what she was going to do next, anyway. She just really wanted to avoid Kian after her pathetic night of begging him to love her. Not exactly the homecoming she’d been expecting or wanting.
By the time she was done making her coffee, the woman had dished up enough food to feed three people. With the workout she’d gotten the night before, sadly, she could probably eat that amount.
“Thank you,” Roxie told her quietly, wondering how many times this woman had fed Kian’s mistresses. The thought was enough to ruin her appetite. The lady didn’t seem at all surprised to find a woman in the house. Forcing herself to push that thought right out of her mind, Roxie ate, barely tasting the delicious meal.
The woman continued moving around the kitchen as she cleaned up the dishes she’d used to cook and keep the food warm on the stove. There was no sign of Kian anywhere, and Roxie assured herself that was a good thing. She finished her meal before realizing how rude she’d been.
“I should have introduced myself. I’m Roxie,” she told the lady with a sheepish smile.
“I know about you,” the woman said, and for some reason the way she said it made Roxie’s cheeks heat again as she looked down at the table. She in no way wanted to ask the woman for an explanation of that statement. “I’m Tilly.”
“It’s great to meet you, Tilly. Can you tell me where the nearest telephone is?” Roxie asked.
Tilly picked up her plate before Roxie could grab it and began moving toward the sink. Roxie didn’t try to stop her.
“Take the hallway to the left, and there’s one in the third door on the right,” Tilly said, already distracted with her cleanup.
“Thank you again,” Roxie said. It was time for her to step back out of this fake world she’d been brought into the night before.
When Roxie stepped into the large room, she immediately spotted the phone on a desk. She began moving toward it when Kian’s deep voice stopped her in her tracks.
“What do you need a phone for?” he asked.
She whipped around and found him sitting back in a comfortable chair, his laptop resting on his thighs, a cup of coffee in his hand.
“I need a cab,” she told him, defiance dripping from her tongue. She turned away from him and grabbed the phone, hoping to make the call quickly and be on her way.
She’d barely begun dialing information when Kian’s hand reached out, disconnecting the call and grabbing her arm. She was instantly angry with him.
“I need to figure out what Lily and I are going to do next,” she snapped.
“That’s for both of us to decide,” he told her, his voice equally firm.
“I’m not ready for this discussion,” she said. She backed away.
“Whether you’re ready or not, it’s something that has to happen.”
He was right. She knew he was right, but that didn’t make any of this any easier. All she was thinking of right now was escape.
He sighed after a few moments, and she waited to see what would come next.
“I called in some favors, and your sister’s place is clean and ready for you to go there,” he told her.
“With Lily,” she said. It wasn’t a question. If she kept her resolve firm, then maybe he would leave her alone.
He glared at her, but then his shoulders drooped. “For now,” he told her.
She didn’t want to ask for any further explanations. She felt as if he had way too much power as long as they were in his house. If she got away from him, then maybe he’d forget he was a father. Okay, that was a ridiculous thought, but still . . . she could hope for that, at least. She reached for the phone.
“What in the hell are you doing?” he snapped.
“I need a cab,” she said as if he were stupid.
“Anywhere you’re going, I’ll take you,” he insisted, his eyes narrowing in that way she remembered so well. When Kian made up his mind, the chances of changing it were slim to none. But she’d changed a lot as well since she’d last been with him, and he couldn’t so easily run over her and get his way.
“No,” she said, deciding she didn’t need to explain herself.
He raised an eyebrow, the corner of his lip turning up just the slightest bit in a way that made his face entirely too appealing. She forced her warm feelings for him down as she glared even harder.
“You can stop pretending you didn’t enjoy our time together last night and act like a mature adult, or you can continue to sulk and glare,” he said with too much mockery in his tone. “But either way, I will be taking you and my daughter to the house.”
The steel in his tone was something she didn’t remember, but she could see how he’d changed with those words more than anything else she’d witnessed from him in the past ten hours or so. Her entire being wanted to submit to him. Because of that, her spine stiffened even more.
“Screw you,” she told him, before swinging around and walking away from him. Hell with it, she’d collect Lily and walk to the house, even if she didn’t know how far away it was or in what direction.
A low growl from behind her was her only warning before Kian grabbed her, spinning her around so quickly she almost lost her balance. There was no chance of her falling, though, because he tugged her against him, locking her in his tight embrace.
“Damn you,” he said. He didn’t give her a chance to reply before his head descended and his lips locked onto her, taking away her breath and her anger as she instantly was lost in the familiarity of his touch.
His body was hard, and she realized she couldn’t fight him. He was too much for her, consumed her so easily, it made her lose all concept of reality. It was just as it had been before she’d run off. Only that thought made her able to pull away from him.
He allowed her to go. She had no doubt it wasn’t her strength that had gotten her away. They were both breathing heavily as she took a few unsteady steps. She couldn’t look him in the eyes now.
Finally, she heard him sigh as he moved over to his desk and pulled keys out.
“Let’s get your things together,” he said. There wasn’t any emotion in his tone now to tell her what he was thinking or feeling. Suddenly she was incredibly sad. This wasn’t what she wanted. The problem, though, was she didn’t know what she did want.
She decided to quit fighting him. It just wasn’t worth it. Some battles could be won, and others were lost before they’d even begun. She had a feeling this was the latter.
The next hour was emotional as she gathered Lily, trying to explain why they were leaving this luxurious place to go back to a house that held haunted memories for the child. Was she truly so selfish she’d risk Lily’s happiness over her own? Roxie didn’t know. She just knew that she had to think, and she couldn’t do that as long as Kian was in a room with her.
By the time they left the house, Kian had stopped trying to speak to her, and they drove in silence. For this moment, Roxie couldn’t even begin to think about the fact that Lily was Kian’s daughter. It was too much of a reality she didn’t want to explore.
That would be saved in her brain until later, until she could properly process what all of that meant. For now, she wanted nothing more than to figure out what she and Lily were going to do now that the immediate danger was over.
She could keep telling herself that tomorrow would be a new day, and important decisions could be made then. As long as she did that, she could choose her own reality. It was working for her . . . for now.