THE SMELL OF BACON wakes me, the tasty scent making my empty stomach growl. I open my eyes and I’m met with Ben’s big brown eyes and even bigger lips. His face is covered in the lightest smatter of five o’clock shadow and it’s by far the best sight to wake up to.

“Good morning, angel mine.”

“Morning, handsome. I can’t believe I crashed and slept all night.” Bringing my hands to my eyes, I yawn and wipe away the rest of my slumber. That’s when I feel something sticky scratch the skin of my eyelid.

“Ow, what the heck?” Pulling my hand away I see one of Ben’s orange candy rings on my finger. “What is this? Did you put this here?” I chuckle, going to remove it when he stops me.

“Ben, what…” Grabbing my chin with his thick fingers, he brings his lips to mine with purpose and a deep need that I feel as he controls the kiss. Our tongues touch and I lose my mind for a small moment.

Putting less than an inch between our lips, he pulls back and opens his eyes. They search mine as mine search his. “Marry me, Sadie.”

“Ben…” I trail off letting my eyes look around the room. My chin is still in his firm grasp. Holding it tighter, he gains my attention once more.

“I love you Sadie and I know more than anything you were meant to be mine. You were put in my life for a fucking reason.” I can’t believe he’s talking about this again and not because it’s bothersome, it’s not, it’s simply shocking. Ben has made it very clear many times over the last few weeks that he never believed in love and marriage, but now all of a sudden he’s talking about it and professing his love to me.

“Ben, it’s been three weeks. You don’t go from who you were to this,” I gesture to him with my eyes.

“I can. You made me want this, Sadie. You got inside me and stirred me all up and I want this with you.” He kisses my cheek then my nose then my forehead, his kisses matching his words.

“You want to marry me, don’t you angel?” he questions. Shocked still, I think for a second. Do I want to marry Ben? I guess it’s not a matter of want, but it’s more of a question about being ready or not. I’m nineteen, he’s twenty-two, we’re young and this is completely reckless. But the thought of marrying him on an act of young love makes me feel more sure of anything.

Does that make us young, naive, and careless, or profoundly in love and more mature than we have ever been?

“You don’t want to?” he questions again, his face drawn down with rejection.

“No, Ben. I mean yes I want to, but don’t look so upset. I just need to think about this. What will people think? What will my parents do? What will we do?” He moves, sitting us up and nestling me in his lap.

“The only question I give a fuck about is what will we do. We’ll be happy,” he states simply as if he were picking out what to eat for lunch. He’s serious, this isn’t a matter of maybe, this is a definite decision that he already made.

“Ben, you tour all the time and I have my internship and nursing school coming up. How would we even make a marriage work?” The logical side of me, who is deeply considering this, asks.

“We just will. I don’t have the answers, but I have the feeling. Damn it, Sadie. I feel it all inside me. Let’s spend forever getting to know each other.” His poetry is convincing and it has my head spinning. My eyes keep looking into his as I think of any reason that this may be too rash, but I find only more reasons to fall off the edge with him.

“You still want to marry her? Even with morning breath?” My dad’s presence causes me to jump.

“Her breath smells fucking amazing. And she looks way more beautiful with her hair a mess and her eyes still sleepy,” Ben says over his shoulder without taking his eyes off me.

“Good. Well come in the kitchen so we can talk to her mama.” Shaking my head, now convinced this was all a dream, he moves us on his own due to the fact that I’m paralyzed in place.

“What is going on, Ben?”

“Move it to the kitchen, I have to get your mom on board.”

“On board? You already asked my papa?”

“Yes I did.” When did he do that? How in the world did my papa agree to this after only knowing Ben for less than twenty-four hours?

He stands behind me, nudging my still stunned form into the kitchen where I stumble. He catches my waist and laughs.

“Easy, baby. Don’t want you broken on our wedding day.” My eyes widen and I go from convinced we’re going to get married to mortified.

“What’s happening? Papa did you tell him he could marry me?”

“I said I’d think about it, but like you said, he’s hardheaded.”

“You want to marry, Sadie?” Mama asks matter-of-factly. Wait, papa told her? Oh my heck.

“Am I in the twilight zone? You guys are okay with him wanting to marry me? And have you lost your mind, Ben? Asking my parents only hours after meeting them? You need to be medicated or put in a loony house, Cooper.” I turn and look back at my parents, ignoring Ben’s smug smile.

“I did say you would get used to it,” he states and I gawk at him again.

“If this is what you two want, we can’t stop you. But you better be sure you’re ready.”

“Papa!” I’m going to have whiplash from looking back and forth at the them.

“What? You’re an adult and mama and I always said you can make your own decisions. We trust you will know if this is right or wrong.”

“It’s so fucking right.”

“Ben, watch your mouth!” I scold him, my mind going a mile a minute.

“Don’t avoid the damn question, baby. Do you want to marry me or not?” He raises his voice with a smile as he drops to one knee. My heart thuds a thousand times a minute in my chest and my eyes begin to water.

“Ben..” I think of something to say, consumed with the war between my head and my heart.

“Damn it, are you gonna marry me today or not, woman!”

“Yes!” I snap. I gasp and cover my mouth.

I hear mama sigh and papa chuckle. Ben looks up at me with a grin so big, it makes his eyes pinch tighter and the tears that were building in my eyes now fall.

“Hell yeah.” He grabs my hips and pulls me into him. I drop to the floor in front of him and kiss him through tearful giggles. I’m going to marry Ben and nothing in my life has ever felt so right.

“I love you so much,” I whisper when our lips finally part and our foreheads touch.

“I love you.” We’re in our little world, even with my parents watching us. In this moment, it’s just Ben and I and the love we share. The moment that ‘yes’ slipped from my lips I felt whole, like any doubts I had, became answered. As if the universe aligned and all the things that gave me faith were confirmed the very second that I said yes.

Like he said, I was put in his life as he was placed in mine for a reason and I know hands down that God sent me him—God made Ben Cooper for me to love.

“Well, I never imagined you would get married on a whim, but let’s eat some breakfast and get you ready.” Mama breaks up our bubble and I shake my head.

“Why not get married in a couple months?” I ask.

“Because I want you as my wife today. I’m not patient.”

“I know.” Rolling my eyes, matter-of-factly, I take a seat at the table.

“Ben, you may be marrying my daughter, but you better make sure you understand that I may have agreed to this, but that doesn’t mean I’m taking my eyes off you.” Papa pours some coffee as I inwardly laugh at poor Ben getting scolded. “You better make sure you don’t hurt our little girl. Marriage was made for life and you do best to remember that.”

“Yes, sir.” With a swallow he glances at me from the corner of his eye and I drop my head and giggle.

“Good. Now eat.” And eat we do. I can’t believe I’m getting married today.

§

“Married. You’re getting married? I didn’t hear that right,” Kate says pacing my bedroom in front of my mama and I where we sit on the bed.

“I know it’s crazy, but we love each other Kate, and we don’t want to wait.”

“But are you sure you want this? I mean it’s been what, not even a month? And this is your first time being in love, Sadie.” She stops and drops to her knees in front of me. Usually Kate is easy going, but right now she’s serious and I make sure to nurture those feelings.

“I am, gosh, mama, Kate, I’m so ready to be with him. Trust me, I understand how crazy this is and how insane we must look. But I want him forever. God answered my prayers when I asked for Ben. He listened.”

Years went by as I prayed to feel something—to be proven that my faith was real and that there was something out there that could prove my beliefs in God, and even though Ben is everything I swore I would never love or go near, I know that he’s that defining faith.

“Ray…” She shakes her and looks to my mother. Mama nods her head and smiles, telling her with just a look that this is what it is and they need to trust me.

“Alright, well, let’s get you ready to get…married. Oh my hell that sounds weird.” We all laugh as I lean down and our foreheads touch.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“Forever, Sister Christian.” She winks and kisses my nose. Just like that, everyone in my life stands behind me.

The next hour passes in a blur and I don’t have time to slow down or think of anything other than getting to the courthouse. I showered and shaved every part of my body then jumped out and had Kate paint my face and mama curl my now shorter hair in loose waves while Ben went with Nick and Papa to clean up and pick up our rings.

Walking into the courthouse an hour later with Kate and my mama, I check myself over, flattening out the bottom half of my white sundress. The top has cap sleeves, with a square neck showing just a slight bit of cleavage. The waist and stomach fit tight to my curves and the bottom half fans out. My tan skin contrasts well against the beautiful white dress and nude heels.

“Kate, can you give Sadie Jay and I a second?”

“Yes, of course, I’ll see you inside.” Kate leaves and I give mama my attention. Her eyes water instantly and the quiver in her lip gets my heart hurting—breaking a little.

“Oh, mama, what’s wrong? Don’t cry.” I catch the tear as it escapes and she shakes her head.

“Sorry, I just remembered how scared I was when I was going through the cancer.”

“Why?” Her words break my heart and all those painful feelings come barreling back in.

“I thought I might never get to see you get married and now here we are, and baby you look so stunning.”

“You’re here though, mama.” She wasn’t the only one that went to bed crying over all the things she stood to miss if the cancer took her. But it didn’t take her and I thank God for that every day.

“I know and I just want you to know that I support you. I promised myself I would live each moment with you and always let you live the life you wanted. Ben is your happiness and that is all I want—I just want my little girl happy.”

“We both do, angel.” My father walks up to us and we’re all a mess in the lobby of the court house, heaven knows what will happen when we get inside.

“You two are the greatest parents and thank you for teaching me what a good marriage is. I promise to love him to the best of my ability.” I kiss both their cheeks and with a few more sweet exchanges, we make our way into the room.

“Phew, let’s do this.”

When we step in, I see Ben first. He’s in dress slacks, with a button up white shirt, a black tie and shiny pointed toe dress shoes. He looks handsome and of course my tears keep coming, but harder this time. In just a few minutes he will be all mine and that thought alone wrecks me in all the right ways. Nick stands behind him and when I smile and he returns it with a wink.

“Good luck, baby.” With a kiss on my cheeks, my parents hand me to Ben and stand back. One life behind me and a whole new one in front of me. Nervous to let their hands go, I do so when Ben pulls me flush against him.

“I got you now, trust me angel mine,” he whispers and I visibly relax, falling into the arms of my best friend.

The judge begins and in the late afternoon on a Saturday, we get married with only a few witnesses, two gold bands and our young untainted love. Nick, Kate and my parents all congratulated us as we got lost in a kiss.

We decided that we wouldn’t exchange vows at the court house, instead we wanted to do that on our own time, in private, and I have all the words just waiting to share with him.

“Sadie Cooper. Wow. The woman who changed the man.” Nick teases, roping me in his arms. Ben and my parents are in the middle of taking their standard wedding photos.

“No, he’s changing me.” I smirk, returning his embrace. I’ve grown comfortable with Nick, at first I was a little intimidated by his rough exterior and quiet demeanor, but over the past three weeks, we have grown pretty close and I adore how much he takes care of Ben.

Wrapped in a bear hug, I prop my chin on his chest and peer up at him. “If he ever gives you shit, I’ll kick his ass.”

“You love him too much to do that.” I wink.

“Don’t tell him, but I may love you more.” He returns my smile and kisses my forehead.

“Thank you for being good to him. I think he thinks of you as a father, even though he doesn’t say it.” I lay my head against his chest and watch Ben smile for the pictures. He looks so handsome, utterly carefree, and it melts me almost to nothing. I love him.

Ben is mine, we’re married and the thought of that commitment owns me.

“I love him like a son and sometimes he tests me like a son would test his father, so yeah, I’d think so.” Him and I both.

“He has a way of testing us.”

“Yup.” We both laugh as Ben makes his way in our direction.

“Hands off the lady, fucker.”

“Ben! My parents!” I shake my head and disentangle myself from Nick, just to be pulled straight into Ben’s waiting arms.

“Sorry.” He shrugs.

“No you’re not.”

“True. Now come on. It’s almost three and we have to drive into Seattle.”

“Seattle, why?”

“Because I got us a suite in a swanky hotel. You think I’m taking you back to my apartment on our wedding night? Hell no.” He shakes his head. “I’m taking you for a small honeymoon before I leave tomorrow night.” Caught up in all the wedding bliss and insanity, I forgot he leaves for tour again tomorrow. If I didn’t have finals I would go with him, that way we wouldn’t have to part right after we got married. But such is life and we knew what this meant. Married or not, we have lives to live that require we work extra hard at this.

“You didn’t have to do that. You could have taken us home,” I whisper, playing with his tie as an innocent blush breaks out over my skin, heating my body. I know what comes tonight and now that we’re settled and the wedding is over, reality has sunken in. Tonight, I will finally become a woman.

Nick leaves us to join Kate and my parents.

“I want to make sure tonight is perfect for you.” Standing on my tippy toes, my body flames with arousal, anxious to become his completely.

“Take me away. Make me yours.” I blush. Truth is, I’m petrified knowing I’m going to have sex. He growls, taking my lips in a feverish kiss, our tongues at war and our hands clawing at one another to get closer.

“Gross, you hos, save it for the honeymoon.” Our lips drag apart, my body still flush against his bent frame. Ben keeps is eyes closed and shakes his head when Kate joins us.

“Fuck.”

“You’ll get used to her, promise.”

“Let’s hope. Come on now. It’s honeymoon time.”

§

I’m a complete wreck. My stomach’s been in knots and my brain has been playing over all the scenarios of our wedding night the entire drive to Seattle. Ben sang almost every song on the radio to me and we shared laughs and intimate types of touches. We really didn’t speak much about what was going to happen in the hotel room but my mind sure had a fit over it.

We pull up to the hotel and I soak in the beautiful glass high-rise building. The clouds are heavy with rain and I can smell the ocean from here. I stay a few steps behind Ben, my hand in his as I take in the elegant lobby. The floors are a beautiful white marble and the ceiling has multiple intricately designed chandeliers hanging down.

The bellhop loads up the cart with our suitcases and I thank him while Ben checks us in. The elevator ride is quiet but our touches are loud. His hand rests on my hip with my back touching his front. As he plants kisses on my shoulders sporadically and massages the skin of my hip, I shiver.

As each floor takes us closer and closer to our room, my stomach gets tighter with nerves and my heart races at an uncontrollable rate. The door slides open and Ben grabs our bags and tips the bellhop.

“I got it from here, thank you.” I gulp at the touch of his hand taking mine.

“Don’t be scared. Breath, angel mine.” Sensing my uneasiness at the cusp of the closed door, he tries to calm me. Swinging the door open, he tosses in the bags, freeing up his hands so he can scoop me up.

I yelp and giggle, my feet dangling as my arms hold around his neck. “Now come on.”

Once in the hotel room, he places me back on my feet and I scan over the crisp white and silver accents adorning the room. The bed is a silver four poster with a bright white duvet paired nicely with grey and white pillows accentuating the bed. Looking over to the window I take in the scenery. The water is dark from the heavy rain clouds, the floor to ceiling windows give the presidential suite the clearest view of Seattle.

All the details, from the fireplace, to the mirrored nightstands topped with stunning silver lamps, give off the vibe of romance.

“What do you think, angel?” Ben whispers behind me, his hands on my shoulders rubbing little circles.

“Ben, this is beautiful, you didn’t have to spend this much on me,” I admit, looking to the left of me where the tiny kitchen and dining area sits.

“I only get one night with my wife before I go back on tour. I want tonight and breakfast to be the best we’ve both ever had.” I blush, turning around and banding my arms around his neck, my body extended on the tip of my toes as he bends to meet my warm kiss.

Our lips move in synch, his plush ones to my pouty ones.

Dancing his tongue against the seam of my lips, he asks for entrance and I grant it with no hesitation. My stomach is coiling in knots, my fear is building at the same time as my arousal—yearning with nothing but pure lust for my husband. I can’t believe we got married today in a courthouse with just our closest loved ones.

It wasn’t a church, but I felt God more present than ever while we declared our love to one another. A young love, deep and running into a storm—passionate. I vowed to love him forever as he promised a life of cherishing me, both of us declaring our faithfulness to one another.

“Mmm, what do you want to do? We can go to dinner or we can order room service and watch a movie?” He breaks our connection and I cry at the loss. Peering down at me with hooded eyes, my skin prickles as his hands roam my body aimlessly.

I know what I want. I’ve waited for his touch since I knew what wanting a touch was. I don’t want to wait anymore, but my demeanor is reserved. I’ve never done this before, how do I even start? Biting my lip, I drop my eyes to the black buttons of his dress shirt.

“Maybe we could…” I trail off, unbuttoning the center button slowly, my eyes traveling up as I undo each one. I keep going to just under his tie until finally making eye contact.

His throat bobs and he eyes me with hunger. I mimic that look, wanting him badly, his touch so close I can almost taste it. “Maybe we could make love now.” I blush, pushing through my walls of insecurities. He smirks at me and I’m not sure if it’s over my blatant lack of experience or if he likes that idea. Either way, I’m growing more nervous with each passing second.

“Sorry, I know I sound stupid. I’m just scared…” I trail off, buttoning back up his shirt. I’m sure spending tonight with a virgin isn’t going to be as fun for him with all his experience.

“Baby, don’t be scared. I want to make love to you, but I only want to if you’re ready. I don’t want to rush you.”

“Ben, we’re married after not even a month of knowing each other. I think it’s safe to say you aren’t rushing me,” I joke, stepping back, completely out of my element.

“Hey, why are you scared? What’s going on in there?” He kneels in front of the bed as I sit. I’m not even sure what’s going on in there. I’m all over the place. I’m elated and in love, terrified and insecure, ready to give myself but unsure how to. I’m not ready to be ready, but oh am I ready.

“I want you, but I just don’t know how. I’m scared…”

“You’re scared of me?” he questions and I cradle his face gently.

“No, no, not that. It’s just, you’ve had a ton of women, more than I care to think about and I don’t want to be compared or subpar to the best you’ve had.” Once I say how I’m feeling out loud, I become less heavy. I’m still a young woman trying to find the right way to womanhood.

“Sadie, I don’t want anyone but you. I married you so I could claim that forever. Before you was nothing compared to what it’s going to be like with you.” My eyes pivot back and forth quickly over his face.

“You’ll accept my body the way it is?” I gulp, nervously. I only had time to trim myself up this morning. I had no intentions of marrying Ben when I woke up, so a trip to get a wax like Kate has been nagging me to do wasn’t an option. I bet it’s a wildebeest compared to everyone else he’s had.

“Sadie, I don’t like this. I fucking hate when you’re insecure. You’re more than exceptional, you’re the perfect aphrodisiac. Please stop saying that you’re anything less than what I want,” he begs me, his face still wedged between my hands, his brown eyes lusting over me and believe me I feel that look deep in my soul.

“Okay.” I nod. Restoring my confidence with a few words from Ben is all I needed. Tonight he is choosing me, today he chose me forever. Ben is a man who does what he wants and doesn’t care who he hurts in his wake, so if he didn’t really want me, all of me, he would have never asked me to marry him.

“Good.” Standing up, he stands above me, removing his tie and the rest of his shirt. His lean abs bare themselves to me and I gush on the inside, loving his lean, tall, fit, rock star body.

“Undo my belt, baby.” With trembling hands, I watch him watch me as I undo his belt clumsily. “Don’t be shy, don’t be afraid. It’s you and me, Sadie,” he whispers, his thumb grazing my cheek.

Nodding, I undo his belt, then the button, then the zipper. His boxer briefs slightly show and I gulp when I see he is starting to grow under my hungry gaze.

“Ben, wait. Um, can I go freshen up real quick?” My voice is a hushed tremble on a rushed breath.

“Yeah, sure. Just don’t be long.” Pulling me from the bed, he brings me flush against him and leaves me with a kiss that has me ready to give in and forget whatever freshening up I need to do. I reluctantly pull myself away and touch my lips, feeling him still there. Giving me a squeeze on my butt, he lets me pass him. Looking back once, I grab my bag and see him lay back on the bed, watching me as his hands crawl up his stomach, stopping on his chest and rubbing his pecks. “Baby, hurry. I want you.”

Coming out of my fog, I nod with a blush and scurry into the bathroom. I don’t have any lingerie, once again not having enough time to plan anything out, but I did still have that sexier bra and pantie set that Kate gave to me as a gag gift. Removing my simple white sundress, I strip out of my basic full support bra and boy short panties.

Stifling through my bag I find the strapless white bra covered in lace. The cups have a little extra padding and come with full support, thank heavens, cause my Ds would destroy this thing if it didn’t. I struggle, because of nerves, to snap it in the back but do after a few seconds. I ruffle my hair in my hands and let it fall into place. I don’t look myself over just yet, not until I slide the lace, see through g string up my tan shaved legs.

When I’m satisfied, I face the mirror where I find my enemy most days. Looking myself over, I actually kind of like what I see. I may not be perfect, but I can be content with what this bra and panty set is doing for me. They’re giving me the confidence boost and a mask to hide behind. My blonde hair is a wild mess, like I’ve been rolling around for hours already. My breasts are round, full and heavy, but this bra gives them some perk. You can see the thin strip of hair lining my lips under the panties and I curse myself, wondering if I should grab my razor and just shave it fast.

I debate for a full minute on what to do, the choice causing me to stress and my body to heat up.

“Crap, crap, crap.” Leaning into the mirror, I straighten my arms and grip the sink. Looking at my reflection, I practically scold myself. “Don’t be afraid, be who Ben makes you want to be. Confident Sadie. Be confident.” I talk myself off the ledge a little bit, my temperature settling.

I can’t seem to properly wrap my head around anything for a multitude of reasons. I’m afraid of myself and my lack of abilities to please Ben. Pile that on my insecurities and you get a full-fledged panic attack. But I have nowhere to run and I can’t turn back now, nor do I want to, so I need to buck up and get on with it. This is the moment where I become a new version of myself, a better one, a whole one. With one more deep exhale, I blink tight and open the door.

I’m sure this means more to me than it does to Ben, because he has had his first time and he has experience. I’m in love and it’s different when it’s your first time.

I peer out and see him looking out the windows. “Ben?”

“Hmm, yeah angel?” He turns his attention back to me, seeing only my head from the bathroom. Sitting up, he sits on the edge of the bed. Sensing my hesitation, he guides me in the way I need him to, because I have no darn idea what I’m doing here. “Come here.” He signals with his words and small flick of his two fingers.

Nodding, I step out, my hands in knots, covering my most intimate parts. I haven’t brought my eyes from the floor yet when I hear him gasp.

“Fuck.” With worry, I look up and use one arm to cover my chest and the other to keep safeguard over my panties. He’s grinning and I mistake that as humor.

“What?” I ask in a frantic panic. He stands quick, moving to me with only four strides, that I purposely count meticulously as a way of distraction. I back up into the wall next to the bathroom, keeping myself covered. Does he not like this? I know it’s not much, but I tried with what little resources I had.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

I choke, my eyes welling with tears. I’m such an idiot. “I’m sorry, it’s all I had and I didn’t have time to buy anything sexier.” I hang my head in shame, one lone tear leaking. This was a huge mistake.

“Are you kidding me, Sadie? You look like a fucking angel dressed in lace. You wore this to destroy me, to bring me to my knees, didn’t you, baby?” With that he grabs my wrist and rips my hands from my body and drops to his knees where I become bared to my vulnerability.

“Look at these legs.” His hands make a trail from my ankles up to the apex of my thighs. “Look at this beautiful pussy, made for only me.” His lips come down on me, kissing me right over my patch of hair.

“Uh.” I jolt back, harder against the wall, the action so intimate and foreign I can’t help it.

“These hips, they cause me to do things—they could rule my world.” He grips my hips and squeezes my butt.

“This stomach, small and feminine, this tiny little belly button.” He licks the skin and I watch completely far removed from reality and the life I lived before Ben. I want to be made a woman, made into a wife who gives pleasure to her keeper, her soul mate—her husband.

“Ben, take me.” I moan, my hands digging in his hair as his tongue lashes against the light lining of my abs.

“Let me see those beautiful nipples, angel.” Reaching up he pulls the cups of my bra down and my breasts fall heavy. “Look at those tits, so fucking sexy. Tan skin and pink little nipples. God damn, you’re killing me.” I feel it, the confidence I’ve been craving like a drug. Desperate to feel good enough to be his.

“Kiss me.” I lick my dry lips.

“Where?”

“Everywhere.”

“Forever, angel.” With no more words, he undresses us both, removing any barrier that we ever had. Now stripped to nothing, he lays me down on the sea of blankets.

“My everything laid under me, surrounded in white. My virgin. My life,” he whispers, his hand running up and down his shaft. He’s large, huge—way bigger than what I thought was normal. He’s maybe nine inches and thick. Knowing this is going to hurt me is half the battle to becoming his. I stare in wonder for a few long seconds, soaking in the sight of him naked for me.

“Relax, it’s you and me, Sadie. I promise to take care of you.”

“I know, I trust you.”

“Open your pretty little legs,” he tells me and I follow.

“Like this?” I seek guidance, planting my feet shoulder width apart and spreading my knees.

“Yes, just like that.” I watch him look me over, spending time on each part of my body. Dropping to his knees, he grabs my hips and drags me to the edge of the bed, my legs still bent as he drags me lazily to him.

“So beautiful,” he murmurs. I lift my head as far as I can and watch him descend on me.

Oh my. “Huh! Oh! Oh my God!” I cry, the velvet feel of his tongue spreading my lips and circling my clit catapults my back from the bed.

“Say my name, baby,” he moans into my core, his thick finger slowly entering me. I writhe, the sensation slightly uncomfortable but incredible. This is the first touch I’ve had from a man and it is more than what I could have imagined, especially knowing it’s Ben’s expert touch.

“Ben, Ben!” He increases his speed on my clit, licking and sucking hard, alternating the action enough to keep me chasing this unfamiliar tingle. The room feels black, only a small tunnel of light filters through my vision. Adding a second finger and more pressure on my clit, he reaches his tatted arm up to grab my breast.

“Ben, it tickles, it feels weird,” I admit, unafraid.

“That’s good, chase it baby, chase that feeling and come on my tongue.” Gripping his hair, I move in motion with his tongue and I let myself feel everything, matching his rhythm with the circle of my hips. When he pinches my nipple, the pain adds to the pleasure on my clit and I scream.

“Ben! I’m, oh I think I’m coming!” I scream out, feeling my stomach tighten and my core shake. Peering down I see my juices coating his nose and around his mouth. Oh my gosh. Is that normal? I ride out the orgasm, my toes curling and my fingers going numb in the sheet from the tight grip. That feeling was unbelievable, I swear I floated from my body. “Oh…” I slow my hips and his fingers draw lazy circles around my pulsing entrance. Lifting his face a bit, he wipes his mouth against his thigh.

“You’re a fucking squirter, baby?” I shake my head still dazed, not even sure what he means.

“A what?” He climbs up my body, kissing my skin as he goes. Stopping on my breast, he licks around my hard nipple. I feel his cock against my clit and my whole body lights a new flame.

“You’re juices came out all over me, shooting me in the face. That shit was sexy, angel.” I’m not sure if that’s bad, but he looks pleased.

“Is that bad?” He laughs at my question, low in his chest. Bringing his mouth to mine, he bites my lip.

“No, it just means coming for you is going to be better than anything you’ve ever experienced and it will turn me on even more. You’re going to make me come fucking hard.” I choke on my breath, turned on by his crude words.

“Plus, it will make it more wet. That way you can take my huge dick inside your tight pussy.” I make note to find out what squirting really means, but in the meantime I’m going to enjoy the way he enjoys it. I’m already learning so much and feeling more and more like a woman.

“How about you give me one more.” Lying beside me, he runs his strong, large hands down my stomach. His fingers reach my pelvic bone and he rubs more circles around my now swollen and aroused lips.

“You’re beautiful, Sadie. I’m never going to be able to quit you,” he admits, our lips barely touching. Reaching my hands up in his hair, I make direct eye contact with him, ready to drive my point home. We fall silent for just a moment as he circles my clit then moves down to my entrance.

“Huh…then don’t.” With that he takes me to the edge again, my juices coating his hand. I run my hand over his cock as I come down from my high, breathing heavy, as my fingers touch the warm skin of the smooth pronounced head. Gosh, it feels amazing. I picture what it will feel like when he’s inside me and I quiver from head to toe. I get the hype now, I understand why people can’t resist this temptation. I’ve only had a glimpse, a small taste, and I’m starving for the entire meal.

“Baby, I want you. Let me have you.” He stops me and leaves my side. Climbing between my legs, he settles himself on his calves, his hands running up and down my thighs.

“Is it going to hurt?” I mumble in fear.

“Yes, it will, but I promise I’ll go slow. I’ll take care of you, angel.” I trust him. I don’t know what kind of lover my husband will be yet, but in just a few seconds I will. In just a few short moments, I will be a woman—I will be his.

“Relax, baby. Deep breaths.” He kneads my sides then moves his hands up the center of my stomach and over my breasts, squeezing and pinching as he goes. The sensation has me even more wet. Hoping that and the two explosive orgasms I’ve had will help with the pain, I give myself to him.

I nod, staring up into his brown eyes. “Okay.” He nods with me, repeating okay back to me. He maneuvers himself between my legs, his cock bobbing up and down against my sensitive clit, enticing my desire tenfold. Hovering above me on his extended arms, he makes eye contact with me.

“You need to talk to me, baby. Tell me if it’s too much so I can take care of you, okay?” Bringing my hands to his face, I tighten our bond with one small physical touch.

“I promise.” My nerves grow wild, a fit of feelings raging inside me—ear, excitement, nerves—love. I feel every emotion lying under my husband. Reaching between us, he breaks our eye contact for just a moment, his head tilting down while it stays in my hands. I follow his gaze and watch him grab his cock. He takes it and runs it up and down my slit. Wetting his tip as he coats himself in my arousal, I whimper. It feels unbelievably good.

With one more look between us, he lines himself up at my entrance. Focusing in on me, he drops his mouth open and slides his wide head inside me, pushing me open and making me cry out. Holy cow that’s painful.

“Ow, Ben!” I try to crawl away from him, slide out from underneath him to stop the burning pain that starts from my core and disperses through my entire body.

“Angel, you need to relax. I haven’t even taken your virginity. I need you to breath and relax your body.” He peppers my face in kisses. Taking one of my hands, he extends it above my head and digs it into the bed with his weight.

“But it hurts.” Without words he enters me more.

“Fuck, Sadie!” He curses my name and I feel fuller, he has to be all the way in. I feel the wet tears roll down the sides of my face and disappear into my hair. I hate that I’m crying but the pinching pain and the sting is unbearable.

“I’m there. This is gonna hurt, it’s gonna rip, baby. Just breath with me.” Nodding I brace myself, doing my best to relax. With one more hard thrust, I feel my insides burn, filled past the point of return.

“Ahh!” I scream out, crying a little more.

“Shh, that was so good, angel, you’re there. You’re mine, now.” I wish I could feel anything but the pain right now. Staying still, he doesn’t move inside me, giving me a moment to adjust. I look up into his longing eyes and see his guilt.

“I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t feel good, but it will. Just relax and let me help you, angel.”

“I can’t, it hurts too much to relax.” I feel like a complete idiot—a prude with no idea what the heck to do. Embarrassed that I can’t even let my husband make love to me without crying like a hot mess, I tuck my head in shame. Sure, the connection feels amazing and I want to enjoy each passing moment, but the pain is that prominent that I can’t seem to.

“Want me to stop?” He kisses my lips, lingering for a moment, but the quick taste of his lips wet from his minty tongue wakes me up. I want this more than anything than I have ever desired before.

“No, kiss me and make love to me, Ben.”

“Tell me that you belong deep in my fucking soul.” He lets out a painful moan, his words igniting my libido, making me painfully but deliciously bare down on his cock. I stop him and focus on our connection—we’re consumed in one another.

“I fell for your heart first, then for your words. It was consuming and reckless. I fell in love backwards and now I’m falling head first into your depths. Please don’t save me, Ben.”

“Never.” With punishing thrusts he loses himself. Bordering on the line of pain and pleasure, I writhe under him, the feel of his cock inside me pulling and filling me.

“Yes, fuck yes,” he whispers, his eyes on me the entire time. Using his hand he explores my curves, spending time on my breasts, my hips, then lifting my thigh he picks up the pace. The feeling of pain is slowly fading only to be replaced with pure euphoria.

There is a sheen of sweat gracing our bodies, making the room feel hot. It’s a strange, almost abstract feeling being so completely connected to someone the way that we are. Not only are we physically connected, we’re emotionally in tune to a point where I only see, feel, hear, and want Ben as he wants me.

This is what love is. It’s the invincible feeling that you always chase. The desire that even the littlest things they do can bring. The way you feel you are no longer an individual but a part of someone’s sum. Ben and I are extensions of each other, where he ends is where I begin and the thought of that alone is beyond conceivable. I’ll never be able to find enough words to do this feeling justice.

“I love you,” I confess on emotion. All the things I feel, I want him to feel too.

“I love you too, Mrs. Cooper.” He winks and drives his hips home, thrusting into me hard with blunt force.

“Ahh! Baby!” I scream out, my back leaving the bed and my eyes closing.

“You like that? My little baby likes it rough?” I blush.

“Ben…”

“Don’t blush, this is real, yeah this is real.” He groans sliding in and out slowly this time, altering his thrust. My legs begin to go numb from the intense sensation and I try to stay focused, but it’s impossible with his skillful hips and dirty words.

“Make me come. I want to feel it for the first time with you inside me.”

“Come on your man’s cock, let it go.” Leaning up, he grabs my hips and starts to slam into me without missing a beat.

“Look at those sexy tits and little nipples. Fuck, you’re a goddess.” I reach up and grab onto my breasts to spear him on more. “Dirty little angel. Just like that, squeeze your tits like I like it, baby.”

“Ben! Oh my God!”

“No, baby, it’s Ben.” He laughs sinisterly and with that, I orgasm faster than my body has time to catch up.

“Oh yeah, look at you getting my cock all wet. I’m ruined because of you—fucking addicted.” I chase out my orgasm, feeling it from my head to the tips of my curled toes.

“Shit!” Before I’ve even come down, he pulls out and I cry.

“What, baby?” My breathing is labored and my eyes are fuzzy as I try to get him back.

“I didn’t wear a condom. I need to come baby, can I come on your tits?” he asks stroking himself.

Biting my lip I shake my head no. “No, come in me. I’m not ovulating, it’s okay.” I don’t use birth control, seeing as I have never needed it, but being in the medical field and always wanting to be prepared for my menstrual cycle, I’m a counter.

“Fuck are you sure, angel?” he questions, but before I even answer he enters me again.

“I’m positive.”

“Fuck, give me your tits, baby.” Falling back down, his hand grips my breast and his thrusts become choppy. Within seconds he groans, throwing his head back and letting my name slip past his lips.

With a bite of my lip, my stomach warms as I feel his hot spurts of come shoot into me, the feeling gives me a delicious coil in my stomach.

Today I became Mrs. Ben Cooper and for the first time I felt the real touch of true love. This will forever be the best day of my life.

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