“HOLY SHIT, SADIE! HE was totally into you!” Kate screeches, her excitement a tad aggressive.

“I know he was, and I’m not interested.” I feign innocence, trying my best to not let her know what kind of things I was thinking when I was looking up at Ben. Ben, such a simple name for a man who looks more complex than Magnum PI.

“Oh please, Sadie. I saw the way you were looking at him. I could practically see your lady bits tingling.” Scorning her with a look, I slap her arm. No one needs to hear that. Yes, I felt a physical pull with him. The way he owned that stage, the way the words he sang spoke to the musical parts in me, and the way he stared at me, gosh—I’ve never felt something so palpable, so much so that I could reach out and touch a look.

“You’re so vile sometimes, Kate. Can we go home now? I’m starting to get irritable and I just want to sleep.” Huffing, she cocks her brow at me.

“Fine.”

We make our way out of the crowd and into the chilly night air. I see Ben again in my mind, his cocky persona burning a permanent image into my memory. His one arm covered in tattoos while his other arm and chest were bare, his stomach lean with those amazing abs and that V that Kate is always going on about.

He made me feel something—desire. The desire that I was raised to only have for one man—my future husband. But the way he looked at me, the way his body bounced on that stage in pure confidence—exuding sex from the veins in his neck all the way to the leather hugging his long legs—had me tempting to haul my butt straight into sin.

I envisioned worshipping his full lips, whispering against them while he did things to my body. What things I don’t know, since I’ve never even read a book with sex in it, nor watched an R rated movie, but things even the most pure know are wrong but yet so right. The way his long, crew cut hair flailed about while he was bent over and belting beautifully into the microphone and the way he ran his hand through it to reveal his brown eyes. All of him made me feel things that God wouldn’t want me to feel.

God made me to only lust over the man he made for me. A godly man, a man with morals and a presence of God in his life. Ben is not that man, and as far as I know, I’ve sinned. I almost feel guilty, guilty that I’ve never had a fraction of desire for Mike like I did in that hour of watching the rock star.

We’re just outside the door, immobile by the stopped crowd in front of us like traffic on the highway, when a tall man with a beard hanging to his chest and slicked back dirty blond hair, approaches us.

I see his badge and it reads Tour Manager of ‘The Roes.’

“Ladies, I’m Nick, tour manager for the Roes. Ben wanted me to come find you girls and bring you backstage for a meet and greet. You interested?” Something about Nick makes me surprisingly comfortable. Even though he gives off the big bad biker vibe, his slightly older age and soft green eyes tell me something different.

“Hell yeah!” Kate shouts.

“No!” I reply.

“What? Sade, come on it’s backstage passes to meet the band! Please don’t be a bore!”

I scoff, crossing my arms over my chest. Looking to her, then to Nick, then back again, I shake my head. I feel blameworthy for her begging since I’ve somehow managed to spend less and less time with her. I’m torn between sleep and the happiness of my best friend.

“Please.” With a lip pout and doe eyes she begs, making Nick chuckle. I look to him and shake my head causing the smirk to leave his face.

“Fine, but not for too long. I really need the sleep, Kate.”

“Yay! I love you, Sadie Jay!” Prancing and jumping up and down, she follows Nick who leads the way. Me—I drag my tired feet.

“You better,” I mumble.

§

Stepping into the room we’re nearly smoked out. I cough a little, physically restraining myself from plugging my nose. I don’t want to look like a prude and disrespect anyone, but the smell is pungent and my stomach rolls.

Staying close to the door, I watch Kate take charge of the room like she always does, catching the attention of all the guys. I keep my eyes low and check my phone, awkwardly. Seeing a message from Mike, I occupy myself.

I wait for his response, peering up for a quick second to see Kate attached to the guitar player. My phone buzzes again.

Taking extra notice to my name at the end, I frown a bit. Mike has never called me anything other than Sadie. No pet name or sweet term of endearment. Just Sadie. We barely kissed a few weeks ago and we only share a small, quick kiss occasionally. I hate to admit that I’m bored and that maybe this is the reason I feel the way I do about Ben. I’m hungry for something and I don’t know what it is. Mike’s great, don’t get me wrong, but he isn’t exceptional and the young girl in me who believed in fairytales wishes I had something like that. I want to feel something life changing. I want to feel love.

“You know, I couldn’t take my fucking eyes off of you. You were shining like a bright light.” Peering up, my conversation with Mike fading away, I’m now only a few feet from the man who let temptation in and I’d be lying if I said those feelings aren’t coming back. I need to hush the voices screaming at me to do something I shouldn’t—to test boundaries.

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” I think of my scriptures before I respond.

“I think that was the stage lights—everyone was shining. Really.”

“Fuck me, an accent?” His vulgarity might have shocked me, but I’m friends with Kate.

“Yes, I guess. But to me you have one too, so really do I have the accent or do you?” I question. His brows lift, his bottom lip getting caught between his teeth. My breath hitches and I nearly choke out each following breath. He’s still shirtless but he’s now wearing a backward flat bill hat.

“Smart and sassy.”

“I’m not sassy,” I retort, offended.

“Where are you from…” he trails off, searching for my name.

“Sadie McCallister. I’m from Carolina.”

“North or South.”

“South.”

“Sadie from the Carolina South, I’m Ben Cooper.”

“Nice to meet you.” I debate shaking his hand, but think against it. Touching him will only deepen the sin of desire.

“So, you prefer fucking on buses or do we go back to your place, gorgeous?” This time I actually do choke on my next breath, except this time he sees it. I chuckle a bit with it too. Is he serious?

“Neither. I’m not interested.” Stepping back a little, I put some distance between us. Looking down, he watches my feet take two steps back and away from him.

“You can drop the act. I’m too horny to chase. My bunk or your place?” His crudeness is offensive. His charm and allure are slowly depreciating as the conversation goes on.

“Wow, no. I’m not that kind of girl, I only came here because of my friend!” I cross my arms in defense. I watch him stare at my chest and I forget for a quick second that I’m wearing the most revealing top I’ve ever worn before.

“Eyes up here, jerk.” Gosh, is this what the world of men has become? Suddenly, I’m thankful for Mike and regret my hot second lapse in judgment.

“They feel better down there.” Ben tilts his head and focuses back on my breasts.

“Oh, you are such a pig. I’m out of here.” I move around him, pushing past him. I was right. Ben—too simple a name for a man obviously too big for his own ego.

“Is this the part where I chase you, baby? I guess the hard to get thing can be pretty hot, at least you make it that way,” he yells after me.

“Kate, I’m leaving,” I say as I leave the room, not looking back. She hollers after me but I don’t slow down. I feel so violated, so heated, completely high on adrenaline. I feel…alive. What in the world is going on in my mind?

“Hey, wait up! What did he say?” She catches up to me as we make our way out of the venue and through the now empty parking lot.

“He hit on me like a real class act. Not! Gosh, it was terrible. That man is far from anyone I should even be in the same room with.” I drop my eyes and watch the gravel pass under my feet.

“Hmm.” Her throaty response of judgment stope me in my tracks.

“Hmm what, Kate?”

“You liked it. You’re completely turned on and the little cross on your neck is burning your skin. Oh my God, Sadie!”

I gawk at her, baffled by her words. Is she for real right now? “Kate, I’m not. He’s pure sin.”

“Sin is only sin if you don’t want it, Sadie. And I can tell he got under the cross and past the bible. That scares you, doesn’t it?” I shake my head.

“Kate, you have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t know him, we shared a conversation that lasted a hot second. It’s nothing but pure disgust over a man who thinks he can just proposition a lady with sex because he’s a rock star. No thanks.” My face grows red, my neck itches and my clothes feel tight.

“You’re defending yourself pretty hard.”

“Because I was just hit on by the world’s biggest player and I’m exhausted! Kate, can we please just go home!” I’m a mess, an out of control over my emotions—mess. I don’t know what I feel because everything I feel right now is something I’ve never experienced. Everything happening inside me is going against everything that I am. I’m raging a war of good versus evil and I don’t know what side I’m on.

“Okay, calm down. Let’s go. Just relax.” She runs her hands over my shoulders and I breath out for what feels like the first time since I got here. I need rest and some time to reset myself. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep that has me feeling the way I do. No way can a man that I just met have this much power over me. No way should he make me as worked up as he does.

A good night’s sleep will fix this, it has to.

§