Week One
BEN LEFT LAST WEEK and I still haven’t fully grasped onto what I witnessed between him and Dean. After he left I went over to Mike’s house and told Dean I was sorry. Mike was a whole different world of problems. Dean, of course, told him about Ben and me being married and it not only shocked him, but he judged me for my choices without having to say much.
I do not regret marrying Ben and I’m still crazy in love with him, but I’m just conflicted about everything. That’s all.
Thankfully this week I’ve been busy moving into his apartment with the help of my parents and Kate, all while getting ready for my graduation next week. That has helped keep my mind occupied and Ben has been so distracted with shows, interviews, and more that we have barely enough time to say good morning and good night to each other.
I do still miss him, regardless of everything, and knowing that he gets to come home next week makes me deliriously excited. I’m the bipolar of love.
It’s Friday night and I’m making some dinner in my new apartment, my home with Ben, and it feels surprisingly normal. I’ve never lived with anyone but my parents so there are some small moments of unease, but for the most part, I like being in a new home that I’ll share with him.
Kate is due over any minute to have a girls night in. I haven’t spoken to Ben all day. He had a day show and then a huge meet and greet with fans tonight. I just want him home already. I want to fix this gap between us, push out the elephant in the room.
My thoughts carry me away before the sounds of Kate do minutes later. She makes me forget, for now.
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Week Two
Being away from Ben is a lot harder than we both thought it would be. The knowledge that he tours for six months out of the year is starting to weigh on me. Our phone conversations and FaceTime calls are the only type of interaction we get and it makes me long for him.
He comes home in two days and I can’t stop my racing heart. I miss my husband. Tonight at bible study with Mike, we went over Corinthians and the entire time it talked about love, I saw Ben. Mike was much more pleasant and didn’t mention much about my marriage which was refreshing. People don’t understand us and I’m okay with that, because we understand our love and that’s all that matters. Slowly our fight has weeded itself out and like I read in the scriptures tonight, my faith in my relationship is coming back.
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
1 Corinthians 13:13.
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Present Day
Running around the apartment all morning like a chicken loose from its pen, I get ready for today. My graduation is in just a few hours and Ben is due home any minute. My morning at the spa went longer than my mama, Kate and I had planned.
My hair and makeup are done. I’m wearing my traditional red lip with winged eye liner and highlighter on my cheeks. I chose a simple, but completely unlike me, black loose slip dress with lace lining the v neck. It has spaghetti straps and it gives my tan more of a pop.
Just as I go to put on my nude pumps, I’m stopped when I hear the front door open and Ben’s voice carry throughout the apartment.
“Angel, I’m home.” My belly coils in butterflies and I all but leap from the vanity chair in our walk-in closet.
“Babe!” I run down the hall and when our eyes meet, I jump in his arms and wrap my myself around him. Before he can give me a proper hello, I move my hands to his face and take my kiss from him selfishly.
I bite at his lip. Adrenaline, excitement, arousal—all those things take over me. I moan against him, using my legs to climb higher and closer. He tastes like cigarettes and mint, just like I’ve come to love.
“Mhm, baby, baby.” He pulls us apart and I whimper when our lips separate.
“Welcome home, handsome.”
“What a homecoming that is.” I wipe my lipstick from his mouth. “You look, fuck, damn I missed you.” Giving me his lips again, we push and pull, giving and taking equally with each second that goes by. I start to grow wet and needy.
“I have thirty minutes left.” I pull away and my blue eyes meet his deep brown ones and man, did I miss that look.
“That’s good, but what will we do with the remaining twenty-nine minutes and twenty seconds.” With a wink, we both laugh as he carries us back to the bedroom. I missed him and his witty jokes.
“We can just do it twenty-nine more times.”
“Challenge accepted.” Oh and does he rock my world in those thirty minutes, giving me enough orgasms to keep me sated for the rest of the day.
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My graduation was perfect. Mama, papa, Kate and Ben were all in attendance and cheering me on. The moment I held my LPN certification, my hard work was finally in my hands, proof of the time and effort that I put into getting one step closer to nursing school. This certificate guarantees me a dream internship with Dr. Bailer at Seattle Regional Hospital come the end of summer.
Better yet, before that time comes, I will be touring with Ben for the summer, meaning no more weeks apart and lonely phone calls to my love.
“We are so proud of you, sweetheart!” Mama engulfs me first thing when I find them outside the cultural hall.
“Thank you, mama!”
“Yes, you worked so hard, we couldn’t be more proud.” Papa is next, spoiling me with another hug.
“Come here, angel.” Ben holds out his arms and I all but throw myself into him and kiss him. He lifts me and spins me around. Truly this day could not be any better than it already is.
“Get a room, perverts.” Kate breaks us up and I give her a side hug.
Ben’s hand never leaves my lower back, a small gesture, like many others, that I missed while he was away.
“So, we have a family dinner planned at your favorite restaurant, we better get going.” She leads the way and we follow her out.
Pulling up to the southern food inspired restaurant, I all but clap my hands excitedly as I plan to make Ben try biscuits and gravy, a southern favorite that he has lived a sad, sad life without ever trying.
“You finally get to have biscuits and gravy!” I climb out and take his hand. He looks edible, turning me on in his basic black jeans and band tee, his full mane of hair combed back and styled thick and lusciously on his head. I lost my cap and gown, throwing on a leather jacket that Kate convinced me to buy and now we look like the picture-perfect example of a rock star couple.
“Breakfast for dinner, is that a southern thing?” I chuckle at his question, kissing the back of his hand.
“It is when it’s biscuits and stinkin’ gravy!” Walking in, he shakes his head.
“You’re so fucking adorable.” Pulling me in for a kiss, he grips my butt in front of the hostess before she ushers us back.
“Congratulations!” Everyone at the table cheers and I take note that more people are here than I thought there would be, including Mike.
Mike and I are still friends, but after the way Ben reacted over Dean, I can feel my stomach tying in nervous knots. Taking a deep breath to keep myself calm, I risk a peek at Ben and see his eyes zeroed in on Mike as he leaves his chair to greet us.
“Sade, great job, we’re so proud of you!” Mike hugs me and I hesitate at first, but return it with my free arm as my other hand stays in a purposeful grip with Ben’s.
Pulling back, Mike turns to Ben and I swallow thickly. “You must be the infamous, Ben. I’m Mike, nice to meet you.” I watch as my husband’s eyes grow wide and his lips get tight.
Oh no, please not again.
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