I moved as quickly and quietly as I could back up the stairs to my bedroom. I knew Lynn wasn’t going to be here first thing and that’s why we had decided that I could be a bit more independent today.

So, it could only mean one thing, Jack had made my breakfast and would be up soon.

I hadn’t felt excitement like I was feeling now in a very long time. I sat up on the bed I had tidied earlier and stared at the door that I had pushed to. My heart was beating and I knew a blush had consumed my cheeks.

Finally, after much anticipation, I heard the floorboard on the landing moan with the weight of someone stepping on it. A self-assured knock sounded.

‘Hi,’ I spoke in answer.

The door opened quickly and there he was standing there filling nearly all of the doorway. My heart raced as our eyes met and a small hesitant smile started at the corners of his mouth.

‘I come in peace,’ he said. I watched transfixed, as his prominent Adams apple bobbed as he spoke.

‘Come in.’ I smiled back at him and his offer of a truce.

He moved further inside the room and placing his heel against the open door in a well-rehearsed movement, he shut it. I followed his path with my eyes as he made his way over to where I sat up in bed. His spicy cologne travelled before him and hoping I was as discreet as possible I breathed it in, relishing the taste of it as it hit the back of my throat.

Once Jack had found his way to the side of the bed, he flicked out the legs from under the tray and carefully positioned it on my lap. His fingers brushed over my bare legs as he made sure the tray had balanced, and my normally unresponsive body sparked to life. I knew he felt it too, as he immediately turned his head to face me and his eyes darted to find mine. For a few seconds our eyes searched and embraced everything we had ever been to each other. Our faces were just a few inches apart. I could smell tobacco on Jack’s breath as his mouth opened slightly. I had dreamt of being in this position many, many times. Jack’s hands remained under the tray as his body stilled in its position bent over me. All I could hear was his fractured breaths. It was the closest we had been for years. Neither of us seemed to be able to break the connection to move apart.

The pain of missing him for so long bubbled to the surface. I tried to say thank you, but my mouth opened and closed several times and never succeeded in voicing the words. Eventually, he brought his hands out, touching more of my very sensitive skin as he did so. Our eyes still hadn’t left each other’s. I swallowed down, trying to remove the tight constriction in my throat, hoping I would then be able to speak.

His hand came up in between us and he fleetingly brushed the pad of his thumb over my open lips.

‘It’s ok, Lils,’ he whispered. He was telling me that he understood the emotions his touch had reminded us of. ‘Can I sit next to you on the bed?’ He moved slowly away and was now standing next to me. ‘As ya can see there ain’t a load of furniture in here, and I was hoping we could share breakfast together?’

I still hadn’t spoken, but offered him a smile and patted the space next to me. He smiled a cheeky grin and I saw the pink flesh of his tongue as it peeked through his teeth. Watching him, my heart melted as I remembered what we had once been to each other. He moved quickly around to the vacant side of the bed and clambered on carefully so not to spill any of the liquids on my lap.

‘Thanks, babe. And by the way I love the fact you’re wearing my shirt.’ My eyes closed briefly at his use of an endearment I hadn’t heard in a long time and at his cheeky words. When they opened again it was in time to see a large hand reaching across the tray to remove several pieces of toast. I smacked at it playfully and watched as it recoiled, bringing a laugh from his mouth.

‘You said share, Jack. Not, can I steal all your breakfast?’ I reprimanded him with a smile. He winked at me and his hand came back to take one piece.

Just like that the atmosphere in the bedroom lifted.

I picked up one of the Love Hearts and read the words again, pretending that I hadn’t been downstairs and seen them earlier. I looked over at him and took in the concern on his face. ‘Jack, the beautiful flowers and my favourite sweets, I don’t know what to say.’

I heard him exhale. ‘Just answer the question?... Is it possible you can forgive me?’

‘I think I can,’ I offered in a small voice. Staring at him, I lifted my hand to tentatively run my finger over the stubble on his face, checking he was real.

He answered my unspoken question, ‘It’s me, Lils. I’m sitting right here next to you. All you have to do is open your eyes and see me. I want ya to see the real me.’

I let my arm drop away at his words.

‘Yes, I can forgive you, Jack… But, I still need you to tell me why you took the fight… I just need to know why… I think I’ve got some things wrong. I’ve already spoken to your dad and I’m coming to terms with the fact that you think you’ve rescued me, not taken me on as a loaned-out whore. If that’s all true, then I think it’s me that needs to ask you for forgiveness.’ He stiffened at my choice of words.

‘I’d forgive you anything and everything.’ I closed my eyes at his words and wished so hard that they were true.

‘Why did you fight, Jack, when you said you wouldn’t… you promised me.’

‘I wish I hadn’t, Lils. God knows, I’ve wished I fucking hadn’t. It’s all I’ve thought about since the other day when ya told me. The fact that your father had seen to it I was offered that fight and I accepted … it’s become the biggest fucking regret of my life. The money I was offered for it at the time was substantial and I know what I’d promised you…but I saw it as a white lie and one I would tell ya all about as soon as I replaced the string on your finger with a decent ring. That was the only reason I took it, I swear to you the only reason… But, fucking hell… If I’d have known what I was about to lose by taking it, I would never have taken a fucking fight ever again.’

My body released a breath that I didn’t know I had even been holding.

‘Oh, Jack… I never wanted a flashy ring. I just wanted to be with you. You and the piece of string you made for me was enough.’ He grimaced at my words. ‘My father took me to that fight, Jack. With what he had done to my mum already and the threat of him killing her next time I defied him… I’m sorry… really sorry, but it was just easier for me to believe what he was saying about you. You were there after all, and fighting like he said you would be. I was trapped. I had always really known, deep down inside of me, that I would never be free of him. I didn’t want that for you. He played us both, Jack and we unfortunately let him.’

‘You would’ve married me then?’ he questioned.

‘Yes, Jack… I was going to. I wanted to be with you always.’

‘I hope he’s fucking pleased with himself. Does he know how you’re being treated by the Vasiles?’

‘He and mum are dead. They died only three weeks after I left you.’

He turned his head towards me to take in what I was saying. I felt as he grabbed hold of my hand and threaded our fingers together, he picked up our conjoined hands and placed his lips to my fingers. A sigh left my mouth and instinctively I gripped his fingers tighter.

‘God, I’m so sorry… I know that in those last few weeks, you and your mum found each other. I know you loved your mum. What happened, Lils?’

With the now forgotten breakfast on my lap I tried to explain. ‘One evening they both went out to a function. We hadn’t had people around in a couple of weeks, my father was on edge all the time, he was almost neurotic in his behaviour. I wasn’t allowed to go out with them as I couldn’t be trusted around people, or so my father said. I had let him down by nearly running away with you, so I wasn’t invited out with them that evening as he was still too ashamed of me. The beating he had given my mum left her in such a state that for a while she couldn’t be seen by others. Even after those few weeks, I had to help my mum cover up the bruises on her face. She didn’t want to go, but we were both playing the roles he had carved out for us. We were too scared to risk his wrath again. So, like the dutiful wife she had once again become, she left with him for the night. It was the last time I ever saw either of them.’ I heard the sigh leave my lips and took a deep breath to continue. Jack in turn squeezed my hand a little to offer me some support. ‘I took my dog, Fox, upstairs with me and fell asleep. A few hours later I woke up to hear banging on my front door. When I opened it, I didn’t find the police there… but the Vasiles and Ioan Antonescu.’

‘Ioan Antonescu? That’s not a name I’ve heard you mention before. How did you know him?’ We had been sitting almost relaxed in each other’s company, but as he asked the question he released my hand and quickly turned his body around, so he could face me.

‘He’d been coming around for a while. He was trying to encourage me to marry him and not Anton.’

‘Un-fucking-believable!’ Jack clenched his fists together and then one by one cracked all his knuckles. ‘How the fucking hell is this possible? That name, how is that possible? I never wanted to hear that fucking bastard’s name again. He’s the piece of abhorrent scum that raped Bella…’ His eyes found mine and I could see and feel the anger and exasperation he felt at the information I had just given him.

‘Oh… Oh my God! I’m so sorry, poor Bella… That’s awful, I know just how awful that is, as…’ I bit my teeth down onto my bottom lip as I mulled over whether to continue or not. But even without voicing the words, I could already tell he knew what I was going to say. ‘He raped me, too.’ My voice had dropped to a whisper and my eyes left his in reliving my agony.

The atmosphere in the room changed and was now made up of the pain and anguish those few spoken words had caused. I watched as Jack’s body tensed up with anger. But at that moment Jack showed me just how he had matured in the few years we had been apart. The younger Jack would have jumped up to punch something to relieve his anger. His overprotectiveness would have got the better of him. The Jack I was talking to today was the angriest I had ever seen him, but he knew I needed him with me and he stayed put on the bed.

‘What?... So, where the fuck was Anton when all this was going down? How could he allow those bastards anywhere near you?’ Jack’s voice was strained. However much of a struggle it was, for my sake, he kept his voice calm and monotone.

I found his eyes with my own, suddenly realising that he didn’t know. ‘Anton is Tony Vasile, Jack. Halfway through our engagement he decided he preferred Tony as it was more English sounding. It’s not unusual for any of my father’s friends to change their names to suit themselves. At the reading of my father’s will, I found out that my father’s original name was Gabor, not Green at all.’

‘Fucking hell…’ He paused for a moment as he thought. ‘So, all this time you’ve been in those evil bastard’s hands. How the fuck could your father have allowed them anywhere near you?... Sorry.’ He stopped speaking and shook his head. ‘Sorry, Lils. Carry on.’ His grip on my hand squeezed his reassurance once again.

‘They were on my doorstep to calmly inform me that my parents had died in a car crash. As both of their families were apparently owed money by my father, they had no sympathy or concern for my loss. They simply wanted to know how I was going to repay them. They told me in no uncertain terms that his debt was now my debt and if I couldn’t repay in money then I would be repaying in other ways.’

My hand released hers and I moved to get up onto my knees. I lifted the tray away from her lap and put it down at the end of my large bed. I flung myself down beside her and wordlessly pulled her to me. I knew I couldn’t show any hesitation at all, she needed me to own her. I knew she would instantly sense if I touched her differently to how I had in the past. She came to me willingly and placed her head on my chest and I wrapped her up in my arms. It was where she belonged, it was where she had always fucking belonged. I was relieved to feel her relax her taut body and mould herself to me. I started to gently rub my hand up and down her bare forearm, making her skin jump awake under my fingertips.

We lay there in silence. I knew she was thinking the same as me, both of us were trying to come to fucking terms with how we had been split apart. The fucking Antonescus were not fit to be walking the same paths as decent people. If we hadn’t already had them put away for what they had done to Bella I would have fucking killed him with my bare hands. I was so fucking angry it was taking every ounce of restraint I had to keep it under wraps. But after reliving that memory she needed my calm strength and I was determined to give her just that.

Finally, she started to draw on the T-shirt I was wearing, round and round her finger went as she traced the circle of the faded Captain America shield. I knew she was once again with me enough to start talking again.

‘But there wasn’t any fucking money to pay them, was there?’ I felt her shake her head on my chest and I placed a kiss to the top of her head. ‘We searched everywhere for ya, Lils and the one time we very nearly found you, you had just left. Your house was auctioned off, wasn’t it?’

‘Yes, how did you know that?’ She moved in my arms and I reluctantly relaxed my hold on her. Her head lifted and she placed her chin on my chest as she looked at me.

‘Charlie, Katy and I were at your house the day of the auction. I couldn’t believe we had finally fucking found where you lived, only to be told that you had just moved out. It just about fucking destroyed me…’ A sudden need to help her through the pain overwhelmed me. ‘I need to show you something… You strong enough to go for a walk?’ I couldn’t talk anymore. As the memory of the pain of losing her all over again broke free in my chest, I closed my eyes to shut it down.

She nodded and I shifted my weight from under her. Rolling her over to the side I released her from my arms, but there was no fucking way I was going to let go of her completely. As I sat up I grabbed hold of her hand and I intertwined our fingers together, once again.

She followed behind me as I led her out of the bedroom and down the stairs. We went out the back door and across the garden that joined the large block of stables to the main house.

The moment I felt her start to falter, I released her hand and taking in the fleeting look of concern on her face, I swept her up into my arms. Her hands came up and around my neck as she held on tightly to me. She buried her face in between my collarbone and my Adams apple, and for a second I thought I felt her brush her lips against my neck. Wishful thinking? To be holding her in my arms and against my heart was everything I had dreamt about, no forget that, it was everything I had fucking tortured myself with.

I loved her and whatever it took, whatever I had to sacrifice, I knew I would do it, to keep her away from the Vasiles.

A few minutes later I opened the door of the stables and we walked in. I walked us silently past many stalls. Some of which now contained the horses I was in the process of breeding.

Eventually we reached the end of the row. I stopped us just short of being able to look around the stable door. She lifted her head up and looked at me in question. Reluctantly I started to gently place her feet down to the ground. Still holding her within the confines of my arms I took both of her hands in mine and brought her fingers up to my lips to kiss them.

‘We turned up at your family house after following the one and only lead we had.’

‘How did you find my address?’

‘Charlie found someone who could hack into the university’s records. It was too late. You weren’t there… but this beauty was. I bought her with the money I won from the fight… Ironic, huh?’ A laugh left my mouth.

‘You have my Beauty?’ Her hand came up to her mouth in disbelief.

‘Yeah… do ya wanna see her?’

I was aware that Lily had stopped dead. Her eyes flicked backwards and forwards from me to the half-closed stable door that she couldn’t quite see around. I watched her nod her stunned answer to me. Still not letting go of one of her hands I unclipped the latch to the side of me and pulled open the door. I led her, still in shock, around the piece of wood that was now open and in our way, and pulled her into the straw-covered stall. The horse recognised her first owner. I watched as Beauty’s ears flicked up and her feet began to paw the ground in her impatience to connect with Lily. I pulled Lily’s hand until she stepped in front of me. I placed one of my arms around her waist and the other I draped around her collarbones as I held her shoulder. She leant back into me and I placed a kiss to the top of her head.

For a few minutes, we stood still as she struggled to believe what she was seeing. Eventually, I heard a cry leave her mouth and she broke out of my arms.

Saying nothing Lily walked in a trance slowly towards Beauty. She laid her forehead against the flank of her horse as she patted and whispered to her. I heard her start to cry and giving her the space she needed, I stepped out of the stall.

I could give her time. I had waited for what seemed like fucking forever to have her back with me. I could wait a bit longer while she came back to herself.

And once she did, I was never letting her go again.