I had spent the best part of an hour lying on my bed just waiting for the girls to appear from the en-suite. It was killing me, her light floral perfume wafted over me every time I moved.

I had a plan for the rest of the weekend.

I had already made the calls and Charlie was downstairs waiting for Katy.

The way I saw it, Lily and I needed a couple of days to ourselves. I wanted us to have some space, just me and her. We needed to spend some serious quality time with each other. I knew her well enough to know she had things she needed to say to me, and this time when she opened up, I was going to be fucking man enough to not walk out of the room. I just hoped I could convince her to agree with me.

I could only just make out the whispered sounds of their voices, as they got on with whatever the fuck it was that women did in bathrooms. Having lived with two sisters and my mum, my dad and I learnt to get ready quick. I was the man who took a five-minute shower, it was a complete mystery to me why women took so fucking long.

Totally out of my head with the boredom of waiting I turned myself around, refusing to breathe in the perfume that surrounded me. I placed my boot-clad feet up on the wall behind the headboard, crossing them at the ankles. Twisting my body slightly, I hung my head upside down over the edge of the bed. I refused to take my eyes off the room she was in.

I wanted to see her the moment she came out and I wanted her to see that I was waiting.

I heard a rattle from the door handle. How could it be that just the thought of seeing her was causing my face to break out into the biggest sodding grin ever?

The door opened and she emerged.

Fuck me.

As always, she took my breath away. Her green eyes found mine as her long lashes blinked over and over as she tried to gauge how I was feeling. Just like the Venus fucking fly traps I knew them to be, she captured me all over again. She hesitantly smiled, showing her nervousness for the conversation that we were now overdue to have. I grinned back at her and took in the face of the only woman I was ever likely to love. I was so fucking happy to see the real her. Her beautiful hair was now dark brown like it should be, it felt like she might be starting to come back to me. I erased that thought as quickly as I could. I couldn’t go there, not yet.

She was stood framed by the doorway, where she had frozen at the sight of me. I stared back at her through my upside-down view and let my grin widen. She had begun to put a small amount of weight back on in the three weeks she had been with us, but I could see just by looking at her bare legs in the short-as-fuck skirt she was wearing that she was still much lighter than I remembered her. Then, taking another look at what she was wearing, I realised that she had yet again chosen to wear one of my shirts, just like she used to.

It had to mean something surely?

I didn’t want to break the moment we had, but I knew we needed to start somewhere. I swung my legs down away from the wall, and showing off I back flipped off the bed and onto my feet, my boots hitting the floorboards with a resounding bang. I turned and slowly took a couple of steps towards her. She felt to the side of her for the small, velvet ladies’ chair my mum had recently added to the room.

Just as I managed to summon up the strength to speak, she spoke first.

‘Hi, Jack.’

‘There she is… my beautiful girl.’

I moved towards her and skidded to my knees in front of her. Me acting like an arse and showing off had made her smile. I placed my hands deep down in my pockets and tipped my head back until our eyes met.

Blue finding deep green.

I removed my hands from my jeans, lifted them up and hovered them above hers. I knew she might jump if I touched her. So, them floating in mid-air was as near to her as I felt I could fucking get. I turned one of my hands over and offered it to her. I gave her the choice but willed her to take a hold. I watched her lashes lower as she looked at my offering.

Slowly her hand come up to find mine.

There it was, the familiar sensation of lightning travelled through my whole system as soon as our hands touched. My whole body jerked awake and I knew she once again felt it too, as I heard her gasp at the contact.

I lowered both our hands back down to her lap, loving the feel of the bare skin on my forearm. I tore my eyes away from our now conjoined hands to once again find hers.

‘I’ve arranged for us to have a few days by ourselves, Lils. I think we need it… what do ya think?’

I watched her mulling over what I was proposing. I couldn’t help myself from lifting up one hand to touch her semi-dry, brown hair. I took a piece off her shoulder between my thumb and forefinger. Slowly, I allowed the curl to wind around my finger. I knew Katy was nearby, but I no longer fucking cared. I was prepared to bare my soul to the world if that’s what it took.

‘First love never really dies, Lils. I know life changes, but you and me, babe, are so intricately woven together. We’re meant to be together… we deserve a few days together, just you and me, please?’ I watched as she nodded at me in answer.

‘Words, Lils… I need your words.’

‘Yes, Jack.’

‘Come on then.’ I stood slowly in front of her and offered out my hand. She placed her small one in mine and stood up next to me. I brought her fingers to my lips and kissed each of them.

Putting my free hand into my pocket I pulled out the packet of sweets that sat there. I had chosen the ones I wanted from a few packets, rewrapped them and now I placed them in her empty hand. ‘We need to get outta here. I can see your head whirring and worrying. Let’s go for a drive. I wanna share some things with ya.’

Just like that she fell into step next to me.

Katy appeared in the bedroom and smiled over at us both. She mouthed at Lily “Tell him” and I felt Lily nod gently next to me. I dropped my head and put a kiss on the top of her head. Breathing in the smell of apples as I did so.

I knew I was totally fucked.

Turning my head, I looked back for Katy before we left the room.

‘Charlie’s waiting for ya downstairs… talk to him, Katy.’