As Jack and I crossed over the green, outside of the lecture hall, he very chivalrously took my bag and coat from me. I couldn’t have been more surprised at his manners.
‘Thank you.’
‘No problem, I’ve been brought up to be a gentleman.’ He looked over at me. ‘I know when to hold open doors, carry bags and all that shit. I’ve also been brought up to be a man, and believe me I know exactly when to pull your hair and smack ya arse.’ He ended his information-giving speech with a wink and a deep laugh at my shocked face.
I clutched my Disney notepad to my chest, using it like a shield to protect myself from the very male, extremely forward stranger that walked next to me. I could smell faint strains of aftershave, or the body wash he used, blowing over to me on the light winds. The professor was right, he was scruffy; in his ripped jeans, creased checked shirt over a very faded T-shirt and with boots on his feet that he hadn’t even bothered to tie up, he was probably fashionably scruffy. But he certainly didn’t smell dirty to me, he smelt wonderful. I turned my head to look at him properly. He was now in full conversational flow, telling me all about the buildings around us, their names, and what they were used for. What he didn’t know was I knew the main buildings in the centre of the campus off by heart after being given a map by Katy. I had unfolded and folded the piece of paper so many times as I daydreamed, that the edges had begun to lose their print and it had begun to tear. I liked listening to him comfortably chat away to me, so I let him carry on.
I allowed my eyes to sweep up and down him as he pointed to something in the distance. He was tall, taller than any other man I had met before, and he had blond hair that he kept reasonably short, but it was untidy and stuck up in a few places. Although I was staring at the side of his face as he continued talking, I knew from when I had spoken to him in the lecture hall that he had the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen, and a cleft in his chin that would be big enough for me to place my thumb into. I gripped on to my pad even tighter, digging my fingernails into the card, as if I was willing my thumb not to do just that of its own accord. As I continued nodding and making occasional listening noises, one part of him kept my eyes totally engaged as he imparted more information on me; his Adam’s apple, which was so prominent that as he spoke it moved up and down under the light stubble he was wearing. I felt a blush start at the top of my twin-set and creep further up my neck until it consumed the whole of my face. The tips of my ears tingled with the heat now trapped within them.
What was going on with me? Jack had to be younger than I was, but his personality, humour and good looks had me totally absorbed by him, like I had never been with another male before.
That was it!
That was the answer I was looking for. I hadn’t really been around other men before. I had led such a sheltered existence, that was why I found him so completely and utterly spellbinding. He had a bit of a bad boy persona going on; I was going to have to be careful that was for sure. My closeted life hadn’t really given me the skills I needed to be around men and my body was obviously running on full-speed ahead, trying to play catch up. He turned to me then as he carried on with his explanations and gave me a smile.
Oh dear!
That smile entered my eyes and I felt its presence running amok throughout my whole body. I was definitely going to have to be careful, so I didn’t show myself up to be the complete untouched virgin that I was. I’m sure it wasn’t a common thing to be as completely clueless about the opposite sex as I was, especially amongst my peer group at university. I’d only had my father, my uncle and Anton to go by, and as males and females didn’t really mix very much in our family and social group, I knew I was pretty much in the dark about everything to do with men. But that smile, the one that he had just presented to me, was pulling me fast into the light. I heard myself let out a small breath from my mouth. I may not have been wearing my engagement ring, as the hideous thing was now locked in my father’s safe at home, thank God, but nonetheless I had to remember that I was an engaged woman. If my father or, God forbid, Anton got one clue that I was not complying with their provisos, I would be removed so quickly that my newly-awakened, rampant hormones, and my feet, would not hit the ground until I was home.
I tore my eyes away from Jack and had a quick look around me, thankfully not finding what I was searching for. I hoped against hope that my father’s security detail had left the campus. Walking around the campus with a drop-dead gorgeous man wasn’t something my father would take too kindly to. I wouldn’t have put it past him to make them hang around for a while just to check up on me. I had been horrified when they had come into my accommodation that morning and checked around the place. I knew everything they had looked at, checked up on, and the people they had spoken to, would be in a written report within an hour of them returning to my home and on my father’s desk. It didn’t matter that the subject content was his own daughter. Oh no, in fact that made it worse.
Luckily, Katy had taken it all in her stride. The place I was sharing with her had been spotless under their scrutiny. I knew she was normally a bit untidy, but I obviously hadn’t been as guarded in our previous conversations as I’d thought. She had apparently taken in enough about my family to know that normal student standards wouldn’t sit well under inspection.
‘So, which way now?’ His deep voice brought me out of my daydream.
We had come to the very edge of the large grassed area in the centre of the campus. Student housing could be reached by three different paths. Jack’s deep voice washed over me and I instinctively gripped my notepad closer to my chest.
I’m not sure why?
Perhaps it was to stop his voice, or was it his presence, sending my heart into the accelerated beat it had jumped to earlier when my hand had touched his chest to try to push him away.
‘Straight on,’ I answered in a strange breathless voice that I knew was mine, but had never heard before.
We both stepped off the small kerb and onto the main road at my direction.
‘Look… you really don’t have to walk me home. I’ll be fine.’
Just then, Jack’s arm lifted quickly and blocked me in my tracks. A motorbike sped past us. He had stopped me from possibly walking straight into its path. I dropped my notepad in surprise onto the floor in front of us. The breeze was just strong enough to flap open the pad, and as the cover was lifted away the pages began to turn over quickly in the light wind, revealing my possibly embarrassing scribblings.
‘Fine? Yeah, I’m sure you will be.’ He spoke with a teasing voice as he got down on one knee to retrieve my pad. I watched thankfully as he closed the pages and flapped the cover over the pad to close it.
‘I can normally cross roads, you know. When I’m by… when I’m by myself.’ What a stupid thing to say. I was almost telling him that he took away my ability to think.
‘Tinkerbell?’ he questioned, referring to the notepad he had just picked up for me. Luckily, it seemed he was going to ignore my last comment. He handed the notepad back to me, smirking.
‘Thank you.’ I took it back and once again clutched it quickly to my chest, making sure only the plain back cover was showing. ‘Yes.’ I smiled my answer back to him, feeling another warm flush hit my cheeks and travel quickly upwards. It seemed I was going to be permanently blushing around this man. ‘Go on, what were you going to say about my notepad?’ I preferred that subject for his jokes, rather than the thought of him grabbing hold of the fact I wasn’t safe to cross roads when I was in his presence.
Jack stood up and closed the small gap that there had been between us. His eyes looked down to mine and his fingers found the errant piece of dark hair that constantly fell over my face. He very gently put it back behind my ear where it belonged. His fingers only brushed over my skin briefly, but where they touched the simple connection ignited the flesh around my ear. The sparks of that touch travelled as far down as the tips of my toes. My nipples formed hardened points in my bra and my core ached to feel his touch again. In my embarrassment, at never having felt anything like it before, I jerked my eyes away from his quickly and looked down at my shoes. Jack moved himself back to my side in an instant.
‘I’m a Marvel fan myself,’ he offered as we began to walk again.
‘Oh, yes?’ I looked sideways at him and smiled.
‘Yep… and after seeing that notebook, I’m going to call you princess, as you look a lot like Snow White. Did you know that?’
I stopped still again and watched as he carried on walking ahead without me. I wasn’t too sure exactly what made me stop to ponder what he had said. Was it because I hated the fact that he wanted to call me by the same nickname my father used for me, or possibly because I couldn’t believe he had looked at me enough to think about how I looked. I glanced down once again at my drab clothing.
‘No… no, I don’t want you calling me that…I’m sorry, you can’t call me that.’
He stopped walking at the sound of my voice and spun around.
‘No… Why not?’
The blush consumed me once again as he looked at me in question. His arms crossed over his chest and his head tilted slightly to the side. I walked the couple of steps I needed to catch up with him.
‘It’s what my father calls me. When I’m here I want, no… I need, to live a different life…’ I stopped myself from saying more and once again I looked down at my hideous brown shoes on my feet. When no reply came from Jack, I lifted my head once again to look at him.
He was moving his head side to side mulling over my reason and then he smiled at me. That smile… the one that had him pushing his tongue to the back of his top row of teeth. ‘Okay, I understand the need for a different life. If you prefer I don’t use that, then I won’t. I’ll soon find another nickname for you.’ He winked at me again and my heart pounded with excitement. ‘Although your father clearly sees you the way I do, Lily.’
He couldn’t have been more wrong if he’d have tried. My father called me princess because he was the king of his domain and I was his child. Jack, on the other hand, was likening the way I looked to a fictional character. Lost in my thoughts, I eventually realised that we were still standing still in the road. Jack made no indication whatsoever that he was going to turn and start to walk again anytime soon. Once again, I gripped the notepad against my chest. I watched as Jack’s hand reached out to gently lift my chin, so that my gaze would meet his.
God, he was tall.
‘You have dark hair like Snow White…’ His voice drifted off as I allowed my green eyes to be magnetised by his piercing blue ones, once again. ‘You also have her heart shaped lips…’
I was willing the man with his fingers at the base of my chin, to kiss me and to please not kiss me, all at the same time. My body was waging a silent war with itself. My brain was screaming “NO” but OH. MY. GOD. the rest of me was singing out very loudly “YES.” I wondered if he could see or sense my hesitation.
A deafening bang sounded from somewhere near us and loud laughter followed, just some other students having a laugh it seemed. But it had done the job, our connection had been broken, Jack let go of my chin and started to walk away from where we had stood only seconds before.
Maybe I was wrong and there was no connection at all.
‘So, you said straight on, Lily. And then where to next?’ he questioned.
‘Follow the road around to the left and I think it’s the second building on the left.’
He spun around on the heel of his boot and pushed his hands way down into his jean pockets as he began to walk backwards. In doing so he revealed a small area of skin where his T-shirt lifted away from his belted jeans. I allowed myself one quick look, but as I felt my tongue come out to wet my suddenly dry lips, I forced my eyes away.
‘Really?’ With a strange question that wasn’t a question, he spun back around again and carried on walking away. I thought I could hear the faint strains of him laughing. I quickened my pace to catch up with his ever-lengthening strides. ‘So, what’s your flat number in Cambridge House?’ he asked as he turned his head to look down at me.
‘Number five.’ I gave him the final piece of information just as I managed once again to fall into step next to him. It was so difficult to keep up with him now. His long legs were doing one large step to three of my small ones.
‘Of course it is,’ he stated as we stopped suddenly outside the main door of the building.
‘Thank you, Jack, for walking with me. You don’t have to come any further.’
‘Sure, I do,’ he answered as he put a code into the outside door lock. ‘I live here too… flat five to be exact.’ He strode through the door that he had now pulled open, looked back at me, gave me a wink and then quickly turned away. He had pushed the door open wide until it started to bounce back on its spring-loaded mechanism, in an act that only came from having prior knowledge of the said door. He disappeared further into the building and out of sight, luckily it had a slow closure facility.
‘You coming in, flatmate?’ I heard him shout out, his voice echoing in the empty hallway.
‘Of course, you would live here too,’ I muttered under my breath. ‘Yes,’ I shouted back in answer as I rushed to get in the door before it shut.
As I climbed the stairs behind the large frame of the guy I had only met less than an hour ago, I found myself staring at his well-fitting jeans, which moved with absolute precision over his bum cheeks as he strode up the stairs two at a time. It all fell into place, Katy had mentioned a Jack that she shared with. He was “a player” she had told me, women threw themselves at him. Although she enjoyed his company and his friendship, she was never going to “go there” as she put it. I was so nervous that I wanted to burst into laughter at the ridiculousness of it all. How stupid I had very nearly been, when he had stared at my lips and tucked the loose strand of hair behind my ears. I had very nearly been played by the biggest player at the university.
Thank God, I had realised in time.
I knew I was naïve, but I never would have thought myself gullible, too. I needed to wake up quickly to the strange new world that was now my home, before I did something stupid and something that would cost me my two precious years that I had fought so hard for.
I looked ahead of me once again as I turned the corner onto another flight of stairs. Mr. Delectable-bum had disappeared in front of me and in his place stood the figure of my friend Katy, drying her hands on a tea-towel.
‘I see you met Jack?’ she questioned with a smile.
I flew up the final few steps to reach her and grabbed hold of her hand as I did so. ‘Yes, I certainly did.’
‘How did it go today? How was your first lecture with Clarke? As good as you’d hoped?’ She placed her arm around my shoulders pulling me into the side of her body.
It appeared everyone around here was taller than me.
‘He was as brilliant as I thought he would be. He even sorted out a mentor for me.’
‘Oh, that’s good. It will definitely help with your timescale that’s for sure.’
‘Yes, it will help… I think.’
She squeezed my shoulder with her hand, in solidarity.
‘So where did you come across Jack?’ We reached the open door of our flat and went inside. She leant down close to me, ‘Lovely to look at, isn’t he?’ she whispered into my ear.
I nodded my head at her comment as my eyes darted around the open space of the kitchen/living area. We had a small but serviceable kitchen area in the furthest corner of the room, with cheap white units, and a rectangular table and six chairs in the middle of the open space. Then in the opposite corner to the kitchen were two settees that formed an L shape facing a small TV and DVD player. Jack was nowhere to be seen.
‘But that’s a look and no touch, ok?’ she added as she made her way over to a saucepan that was wafting out glorious smells in the steam being sent up high into the room. Those same delicious smells began to call to my very hungry stomach.
‘Uh, huh.’ I spoke to her back. She was assuming I would even know how to touch. At my answer, she turned to face me once again, wielding a wooden spoon that dripped its goodness all over the freshly cleaned, tiled floor. She pointed it in my direction and narrowed her eyes.
‘What do you mean “Uh huh?”’ Her voice lowered as she got closer to me. ‘Tell me? You’ve only been here a few hours and I know that man works quick, but surely not that quick, especially on you?’
‘Of course not. But, although I’ve led the life of a nun up to now, his obvious charms weren’t wasted, even on me. The problem is I’m going to be spending a lot of time with him, as he’s been asked by the professor to be my mentor for economics.’ I pulled a grimace at her shocked face.
I watched as she felt around for a chair so she could sit down. As soon as she found it she dragged it to her creating a scraping noise on the floor, turned it around and sat down quickly. ‘Well, it’s only day one and this already has the possibility of going tits up then, doesn’t it?’
‘It can’t, Katy!’ I shot out in panic. ‘I’ve been waiting to get here for so long.’ I rummaged around for another pro-point in what felt like a sea of hormones. ‘I have you to teach me… although I know I’m going to need to learn quickly.’ I sat down next to her taking in the concerned expression on her face. ‘Question is, are you up for helping me? I know I’m going to take a lot of work as I’m very behind with the times. I’m going to need all the assistance you can offer me, also I’m going to need you to come shopping with me as soon as possible, please.’ I let my eyes run down the length of my body to my shoes. My clothing didn’t bother me at home, but it had bothered me all day here, especially once I was in Jack’s company. Not that he had said anything. I just wanted to be and look like everyone else here.
‘Stop, that… right there, “behind with the times” is a saying that’s so old it’s almost Victorian. I know I have a lot to help you with and I’m going to start right now. Lesson one isn’t about the clothing you wear either, it wouldn’t matter if you were in a burlap sack, you’d still be gorgeous and you’d attract attention whatever you were wearing.’
She stood up and tiptoed over to and looked into the corridor behind us. I watched as she silently peered down the hallway. She was my complete opposite, she was tall, willowy, had beautiful honey-blonde hair that at the moment had different streaks of red and green in it, and deep brown eyes that just drew you into the kindness beneath them. I had been a lucky girl the day we had first met. I knew it then and even more so now.
Happy to see that what, or who, she had been looking for was nowhere to be found, she moved back over to me, sat back down and scooted her chair closer to mine. ‘That back there,’ she said, waving her right arm behind her, ‘is one of the most attractive guys here. On the plus side he has it all, intelligence, a good body, charm, manners, sense of humour etc… etc…’ I loved this about her, when she was in full flow of conversation she became extremely animated. I watched as she threw her arms about again. ‘Although on the negative, he has a bit of a temper and has been known to get into fights. Some nights he actively looks for trouble, and he has practically slept his way through the whole of the female cohort on campus, in one year. He also has an overprotective streak that runs amok every now and again. But, he is “friend zone” material, he makes a fantastic friend and I should know because he’s one of my best ones.’ She looked at my puzzled expression. ‘Let me explain it better, there are some guys on campus that you can fuck, if the need takes you, and then you can walk away, no strings.’ I watched her smirk at my flinch when she swore. ‘But guys like Jack are different. I’ve seen it in the last year, the women think they’ve found the “jack pot” with him, pun intended. Then he immediately gets rid of them as soon as their usefulness expires, which is generally within the first week of fucking them. I’ve watched the girls he leaves behind in his wake, they hanker after him, they look at him in complete awe every time he crosses their path, they wonder what might have been. You, my best friend, are not joining their bloody charabanc ride.’
I manged not to flinch again. I was going to have to get used to a lot more swearing than that. Just then, the saucepan that Katy had been previously tending began to boil over and she jumped up to attend to it.
‘Lily, do you understand?’ Once again, she was waving the tomato stained wooden spoon at me. I watched, slightly amused, as small drops flew everywhere, making the white kitchen look as though it had the measles.
‘Yes, fully understood. Jack has just been friend zoned.’ I offered her a double thumbs-up. Appeased, she smiled, turned around and began to stir the contents of the saucepan once again.
‘Right then, go and get your new friend please. Tell him that dinner will be ready in ten minutes, and not to be late if he wants any. His door is the last on the right, next to the bathroom.’
I stood up. How difficult could this be? All I had to do was be friendly around Jack. Thinking on it, I was sure he wasn’t really interested in me in the first place. I glanced down at my clothes once again. I needed to talk to Katy about the shopping trip as soon as possible, as I was going to stand out like a sore thumb around here dressed like this.
I walked as confidently as I could down the corridor and knocked hard on the last door on the right.
‘Jack… Katy says that dinner will be ready in ten minutes, don’t be late…’ I went to turn to walk away, but heard the catch release and the door swung open to reveal a half-dressed Jack. While me and Katy had been chatting in the kitchen, it appeared he had showered and pulled on a clean pair of worn blue jeans but nothing else. His torso was on show and it glistened in places with the odd droplet of water. He was lean and muscular but not overly big, showing just how young he must be. I let my eyes wander as he placed his hands on each side of the open doorframe and leant forward towards me, saying nothing. Every muscle was nicely developed and his chest was devoid of hair. My gaze lowered. His blue jeans had a button fly that he hadn’t quite managed to do all the way up and where they peeled away from the bottom of his abs, it revealed the start of his very well-kept pubic hair. Also obvious was a prominent bulge that was somehow just managing to be contained inside his jeans. My eyes were doing their own thing now and I wasn’t at liberty to stop them, it was as if I had no control over them whatsoever. I followed his long legs down to the floor and then burst out laughing at what I found. Jack “the player” was wearing huge, oversized, Iron Man slippers. My eyes flew up to his.
‘And now she laughs at me.’ He presented me with a huge grin showing off his perfect white teeth with a prominent gap in the middle where I could just see the pink of his tongue. ‘You didn’t believe I was a Marvel fan, then?’
‘Not really… anyway, I’m just here to let you know that Katy said dinner was ready if you wanted some.’
‘Shame, I thought you’d come to see me…But, thanks… I’ll be along in a minute.’ I watched captivated as he moved his stance and leant one shoulder against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest. But at no time did it seem he even thought about buttoning up the rest of his fly. ‘So, tell me… if I just so happened to come along to your room when you were freshly showered, would I find Tinkerbell?’ He winked as he asked me the question.
‘Yes, on my thick winceyette pyjamas.’ I mentally high fived myself. ‘Don’t be long. Katy said not to be late if you want some.’
I made myself turn away from the beautiful body that I had just devoured with my eyes and walked back to the living area, feeling more flushed than usual, and for the first time in my life I wondered exactly what was hiding beneath the three fastened buttons on those jeans.
Stop it, Lily!
I’m sure he wasn’t really flirting with me, I mean who in their right mind would? He must be just teasing me. He could tease me all he liked, I couldn’t and wouldn’t allow him to have any effect on me at all. After my chat with Katy, I realised that giving in to the feelings he churned up inside me, would destroy any chance I had of freedom.
‘Oh, I want some alright,’ he called after me, his deep voice alight with laughter.
I dragged in a breath of surprise at his words, and moved a bit quicker out of his sight. I was unsure if he was talking about dinner or me.
I had an idea!
I would just have to tell him that I’m engaged. If that didn’t put him off then I wasn’t sure what would.