I waited inside the high-walled back garden of his home. Jack had gone indoors for the picnic he had made earlier. I had been ordered to rest on a Tartan blanket, so there I lay, propped up on the pillows he had carefully put behind my back.

Once I had forced myself to grow up and had let go of the childish feelings of rejection that had consumed me earlier, I realised that I couldn’t remember enjoying a day more than this in ages. I stared up at the blue sky watching the clouds gently blow over.

A rattling sound carried across the garden on the breeze. I pushed myself up to watch Jack walking carefully back over carrying a heavily-laden tray.

‘Can I give you a hand?’

‘Nah, just relax.’ He placed the tray down beside the blanket and then lay down next to me.

We lay side by side staring at the clouds as they moved across the sky, my hand clasped in his.

‘My mum used to watch clouds with me when I was a little girl. We used to see what objects we could make out from the shapes they created.’

Jack rolled onto his side to face me and bent his elbow, so his hand could support his head. I turned a little to look at him, feeling our connection pull me towards him as always. I wasn’t sure there would ever be a moment when he didn’t take my breath away. I kissed my fingers and placed them against his lips.

‘Thank you for today, baby.’ It wasn’t deliberate that I called him that. It was simply because after spending time with him today, it felt so natural to use it.

I saw the moment my term of endearment resonated within him as he closed his eyes. When they opened again his head had started very slowly to move down to mine.

‘What can you see when you look at them?’ My words stopped his head from moving further towards me. I was afraid of him kissing me. I couldn’t cope with being rejected again. I saw the momentary look of confusion in his face.

‘The clouds, Jack.’ I smiled.

His eyes never left mine, as his fingers brushed over my cheek bone, then he moved them further back to hook my hair behind my ear. ‘It doesn’t matter where I look… All I can see is you, Lils… I’ve missed ya… Did you miss me?’ His fingers trailed gently around my jawline and although it was warm outside, his touch sent welcome shivers down my spine.

‘Every minute of every day. You once told me, if you remember, that us being apart wouldn’t be forever. All I had to do was remember how you touched me and how you loved me. Most days it was all that got me through and the others it was remembering those words that nearly brought me to my knees.’

Jack lifted his fingers and placed them to my lips, effectively shushing me. Then they brushed over my face to wipe away the tears.

‘Of course, I fucking remember… No more words, Lils. Just feel.’

His head dipped down to mine. His eyes didn’t close at first, and I knew he wanted to maintain our connection.

The warmth of his skin brushed gently over me as he lowered his mouth down, slowly at first and then faster, as if he couldn’t hold off any longer. His hand cupped my head as he held me in place and his lips swept over mine. Our mouths remembered each other’s. We knew every movement of the dance we had shared many times before. The taste of him filled my senses, overwhelming them within seconds. I ran my hands around his body, grabbing the material of his T-shirt in both of my fists, pulling him closer to me. Desire was flooding my system. When his tongue finally found mine, I was desperate for its caress.

Jack moved us both, rolling over onto his back and pulling me on top of him. I knew why, he wanted to give his hands the freedom to roam. As his lips and tongue teased mine, his fingers started to trail down my sides. Every piece of my exposed skin ignited and I could no longer think straight. As always, the man held me prisoner. I needed no more than his touch and caress to stay alive.

‘Jack.’ A woman’s voice interrupted our moment.

Stunned, I lifted my lips away from his. I didn’t recognise the voice. I felt my brow furrow a little as I looked at him in question and attempted to roll away. He had accepted me breaking our kiss, but he refused to allow me to move off him. His large hands quickly found the bare skin just below the short skirt I was wearing and he cupped my bum, effectively holding me in place.

Only then did Jack turn his head towards the woman who had called his name and I followed. I took in the figure of an attractive, red-haired girl wearing jodhpurs. I assumed it was one of the stable girls, Laura, that I had heard about. It wasn’t the tall, blonde girl I’d seen kissing him before, that was for sure. A hot flush of jealousy ran over me.

‘Yeah,’ Jack replied as once again I tried to move away from him. He rolled his hips into me making sure I felt the erection I was lying on top of. ‘Everything alright with the horses?’ I froze with embarrassment.

‘Yes,’ she replied, still unable to tear her gaze away from the two of us making out on the blanket. ‘Yes… I just came to see you. I wanted to talk to you.’

‘Ok, now you’ve seen me.’ I watched the corners of his mouth lift as he turned her words back on her. I understood the situation now. She obviously had a thing for him and he was enjoying showing her it wasn’t reciprocated. I felt my sympathies change from embarrassed for myself, to embarrassed for her. If I had been able to move away from him, I would have slapped him. But the only thing I could do was raise my eyebrows in question.

‘What did ya wanna talk about, Laura?’ he asked.

‘I wanted to see if you’d like to come out with me tonight.’ I watched her as she then went from uncomfortable to trying to completely ignore I was there.

Maybe I didn’t feel quite so sorry for her now.

‘Sorry, Laura. Once again, the answer’s no thanks… As ya can see I’ve sorta got my hands full.’ His fingers flexed into my bum cheeks as if to show her exactly how full his hands were.

‘So, I see.’ With that she turned, walked out of the garden and slammed the grey, glossed door behind her.

‘That was unkind, Jack.’

‘Do ya want me to go out with her?’ His eyebrows raised in question.

‘No… but.’ I shook my head.

‘We shagged a couple of times, ya know me… I don’t stick around much after that. I tried to let her down easy… I’ve been telling her for the last year that I loved someone else. She refused to accept it, maybe now she will?’

‘You love someone else?’ A small feeling of panic started to roll around inside me. Instinctively I started to try to move away again. His strong arms remained around me, keeping me captive.

He smiled up at me. ‘Yeah, babe, the same girl who’s had my heart since I took her virginity and made her mine.’

‘Oh, I see.’ I smiled back at his words and began to move.

I pushed my hands down on his broad chest, running my fingers over his pecs and up to his shoulders. Shifting further I sat up, placing my legs either side of his hips and squeezed my thighs together. The playful squeeze I gave him seemed to flick a switch. His eyes sparked to life and his Adams apple bobbed as he swallowed. I watched as mischief consumed his face. His hands lifted fast, faster than I could move and his fingertips found my sides. All at once it was too late. The wonderful feeling of being totally out of control, but not caring, swept over me. His fingers found my ribs and danced over my skin, he tickled me to the point of hysteria. The sensation caused me to laugh so deep and spasmodically that I began to hiccup at the same time.

‘Noooooo. No more, please!’

His hands stopped and he sat up quickly, flexing his abdominal muscles underneath where I sat. Once he was up he kissed the end of my nose and then lay back down.

Eventually, I calmed and fell against him in an exhausted, but happy, heap. I felt his lips caress my forehead.

‘Thank you for helping me to remember who I am, Jack.’

The beautifully bound leather book fell from my fingers yet again and connected with my nose. I jumped back awake and supressed a giggle. I was lying on the settee in the kitchen fighting sleep as it threatened to engulf me. I couldn’t remember having had a better day in a long time and I didn’t want it to end. I was holding a copy of my favourite book, provided by Jack, Northanger Abbey by Jane Austin. Every time my eyes went back to the familiar words, they blurred together and sent me into a trance.

I lifted my head up quickly to see if Jack had noticed. He was sat at the large table in the middle of the kitchen, studying. I couldn’t have been more surprised. Professor Clark would have been stunned if he could see what I could now see. I knew just how much he had hated working at university. But when we had talked earlier, he had told me he was now taking a degree in animal science, and it all made sense. Jack’s plan, he explained, was to breed horses. His fighting had paid for the house and the land, and was now paying to refurbish everything.

I felt pride fill me to bursting point. Pride that he was nothing like my father had said he would be.

I peeked at him again and watched him caressing his earlobe between his thumb and forefinger, he was deep in thought as he concentrated on his work. A deep sense of longing took over me, to suck the earlobe into my mouth. As he thought, he flicked a pen back and forth quickly in between the thumb and forefinger of his other hand. My heart skipped a beat just watching the mannerisms that I recognised, they were truly mesmerising.

‘Ain’t you learnt that book by heart yet?’ He interrupted my staring.

He asked the question almost as if he could feel my eyes on him and then he turned his head to look at me. Some things about him were still as I remembered, but others were new. I heard the pen drop to the books with a dull thud. He removed the thick framed glasses he now wore to read and placed one of the arms in his mouth. As he sucked on the end he offered me a wink. My insides sparked to life and melted just a little bit more.

‘Tell me the truth.’

‘What do you mean?’ My stomach knotted in panic.

‘You need to be in bed, don’t you?’

I shook my head at him feeling relieved and watched his eyebrow raise at me in question.

‘I keep seeing that book fall on ya face. It’s fucking hilarious, but also off putting.’

‘Off putting?’ I felt a questioning frown appear on my forehead.

He sighed at me as he closed the book he had been looking at. Carefully he folded up his glasses and placed them on top and then shook his head.

‘I am a man, ya know, Lils. As a man, I can only deal with so fucking much. Watching ya fall asleep brings home to me just how fucking much I wanna be in my bed with you. I wanna watch ya fall asleep in my arms, but only after I’ve made you scream out my name.’

‘Then… what are you waiting for?’ I whispered hesitantly back to him.

The chair he was sat on was pushed back quickly and with so much force it fell over backwards. It didn’t faze him, and he didn’t stop to right it. His eyes never left mine. With large strides, he prowled towards me, flexing his fingers until he was by my side. He bent down, placed an arm under my knees and one behind my back, then swung me up high into his arms with ease. I lifted my hand and using one finger I traced his Adams apple as he carried me through the open door and up the stairs to his bedroom.