My eyes opened to find myself still resting on the warm straw. The only difference was I was now covered up by a thick, Tartan blanket. Jack had been in to check up on me and the simple act of kindness was overwhelming. After all the pain I had caused him, he was still as good as his word. My heart felt full to bursting as all the feelings I had ever had for Jack once again took their place back in it. I was unsure if they had ever really left, I think I had just refused to feel them or recognise them.

Beauty stood to the side of me just watching me, almost keeping guard.

I whispered my thanks to her and watched her ears flick as she listened to my quiet voice.

I had no idea how long I had been in the stall with her. There was no way to see the outside, so I couldn’t even judge what time of day it was. My ears strained, as always equipping myself with whatever information I could obtain. I knew Jack was nearby, call it instinct, or just the fact that I knew our hearts were so intricately wound together he would fight to stay close to me. Laboured breathing and the rustle of straw found its way to me through the open door of the stable. I sat myself up slowly and placed a hand to my forehead in response to the pounding pain in my head, which was so strong it was causing me to wince. Very slowly I stood and after gently patting the rump of Beauty I made my way to the threshold of her stable and peered out through the crack in the stable door.

My eyes immediately found the half-naked body of Jack.

Dear God! He was gorgeous.

He was picking up straw bales, throwing them up over his shoulder and carrying them to the other end of the stable block, where he restacked them. I watched as he lifted the final bale and almost ran it to the other end. He threw what had to be the last of about twenty bales down on top of the neat straw wall he had built. He stopped and ran his hands over his sweat soaked hair and started to stretch out his back. His stripped-off T-shirt was tucked into the back pocket of his jeans. His torso was covered in a sheen of sweat and with every movement of his muscles it glistened enticingly to me.

I watched secretly through the crack in the door.

My body sprang to life at the sight of him. The body that had blatantly refused to show interest in any other man, recognised the one it was supposed to be with. It recognised the only man that had ever really owned it, despite what others might say. I felt myself lick at the dry, cracked skin of my lips as I savoured the sight of the man I loved.

Jack bent to pick up the bale he had just placed down.

I knew watching him that he hadn’t left the stable. He had stayed to protect me and to make sure that I knew I wasn’t alone anymore.

Realisation hit that he had probably moved the stack from end to end several times over, as he waited for me to purge myself and then to sleep off the exhaustion that had subsequently followed. The exercise would have given him something else to focus on as he waited outside for me, unable to comfort me but unable to leave me at the same time.

I shifted slightly to hold on to the door and so I could lean against the doorframe for support, my body was still so weak.

I was exhausted, but my core had begun to ache with the need to feel his strong arms wrapped around me. Watching him take off with another bale, as he started to jog yet again to the other end, sparked my body to life. Slowly, I made my way out of my hiding place knowing he would see me on his next run past.

With his back still facing me and before the bale was placed down, he spun around, intuition it seemed was fuelling his movements. The bale was unceremoniously chucked, colliding into the nearest closed stable door to the side of him and causing a rake that was leant on the closed door to bounce and fall away. As the wood clattered to the floor it made some of the other horses whinny their concern at the sudden noise.

Jack’s eyes found mine and I stared back at him unable to tear my gaze away. His bright blue, seemingly bottomless pools captured mine. With our eyes embracing each other, the seconds passed and our union grew ever stronger. He was trying to absorb my pain and almost wordlessly begging me to allow him to do so. He started to walk over to me, his arms hanging down at his sides as he flexed his fingers. I could see he was itching to touch me. Finally, he stood just an arm’s length away in front of me, but he came no further. I lifted my gaze upwards to follow his bright blue eyes. They had claimed their ownership over me and refused to release me. He exhaled with force as he fought not to take me in his arms. It took me back to university when he had demanded we went at my pace. The feelings between us were suddenly ramping up the temperature that surrounded us. The air in between us felt thin, and was filled with an emotional charge so strong I couldn’t do anything other than to obey its silent command.

I stretched out one arm and ran one finger cautiously over his Adams apple, into the dip at the base of his throat and then down his bare chest, following the gap in between his chest muscles. Keeping my eyes on his face, I saw his nostrils flare open wide in reaction to my touch. His Adams apple bobbed as he swallowed deeply, but still he made no movement towards me.

My finger trailed its way further downwards with ease, as it slid on his sweat-soaked skin. I felt the defined bumps of his abdomen and then at last the fine trail of hair that disappeared inside his low-slung jeans. His lips parted and his gaze broke from mine as he looked down to follow my finger.

I needed more contact.

Lifting my other hand up I allowed both of my hands to connect with the large belt buckle he was wearing and then they moved in symmetry outwards, to find his belt loops. Hooking my fingers inside them, I pulled Jack to me.

He moved cautiously at first, still watching my hands on his belt. He was giving me more time to comprehend what I was doing.

Eventually he gave in to what I was asking.

At last he took charge.

‘I hope you know what you’re agreeing to, babe. You know the rules… Now you’ve given yourself to me, I ain’t never giving you up. I refuse to give you up again.’

Both of his arms came around me and grabbing on to my jean-clad bum cheeks he lifted me easily up to him. Our bodies met together with force and with our faces now at the same level, my hands lifted to cup either side of his face. Immediately our eyes once again found their connection. Unceremoniously, his hands found the juncture underneath my bum cheeks and he gently pulled them apart. Moving his hold slightly on my thighs, he opened my legs and wrapped them around his waist, as he backed me up against the wall next to Beauty’s stable.

I needed him to kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me. My body was screaming to his, imploring him to respond to my needs. Our faces were mere inches away from each other’s. Using the fact that he had me up against the wall trapped beneath the weight of his body, he let go of one of my thighs and brought his free hand up to stroke the side of my cheek with his knuckles.

‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ he whispered to me, his breath blowing gently over my deprived, needy lips

‘Me neither,’ I whispered back as I hooked my arms around his neck, trying to bring his head closer to mine. His strong neck muscles resisted, making his head tip back slightly.

‘No… I mean, really! I really can’t believe you’re here…Tell me you ain’t a dream?’

I grimaced back in response.

‘Tell me,’ he implored.

‘I’m here, baby.’ I watched his pain filled eyes close at my words as he absorbed them and tried to lock them inside.

‘Then tell me why this feels like it’s everything I’ve ever dreamt it would be… but if I dare to look closer, I’ll find it’s an optical fucking illusion and I’ve been imagining the whole thing?’

‘I’m here, Jack… I’m here.’

‘If I kiss you, Lils, ya know that makes ya mine… don’t you?’

I nodded my answer to him.

‘Words, Lils.’ His eyes started to widen with his demand and his breathing began to ramp up.

‘It’s always been you, Jack.’ As those very simple words left my lips I knew it always would be him and him only.

‘Because without you in my life, Lils, I’m not living. I’m merely fucking existing.’

His head began its slow descent. With his lips still closed together he placed a firm kiss onto mine. His free hand left my cheek and banged next to me as his flattened hand met the wall.

His kiss didn’t change, his closed mouth was still on mine, as if he was trying to convey his thoughts and feelings to me without any sexual undertones. I felt that was impossible. I knew that for as long as Jack and I were together we would always have a huge sexual connection.

I needed more of him. I pushed the tip of my tongue through the tiny fissure between my lips and touched his warm, soft flesh. All at once, with that small contact, he broke our lips apart and moved back away from me. For all of one second he looked at me and then his eyes sparked to life. His free hand came to the back of my head, latching onto my ponytail to angle my head just as he wanted it and his mouth came crashing back to mine.

My body sagged into his as he consumed my mouth. Everything he had held back I felt in that one kiss, a kiss I had been dreaming of for what felt like forever. He took everything he needed from me. My mouth was opened as wide as he could get it. His tongue danced and flicked around the inside of my mouth, creating sparks that ignited my blood. My head swam with dizziness from the lack of oxygen I was inhaling. It brought about a sublime feeling of detachment. Everything else in my head was forgotten in those few minutes. I felt nothing else but him and us. Our teeth crashed together as he pulled my head further into his, he was unyielding. I wanted to suck on his tongue, but try as I might I couldn’t keep up with the dance he was leading. Finally, he controlled his need for me and tenderly started to pull away to caress my tongue with his. I sucked his tongue back into my mouth and at last gained the response from him that I was so desperate to feel. His whole body tensed as he stopped breathing completely and his rock-hard erection found the underneath of my bum as he tried to find some relief.

I released him and he broke our kiss, he didn’t move us anywhere but just leant his forehead against mine.

I smiled up to him.

‘You know… they can take away everything I fucking own. But I’ll be fucked if anyone is gonna take away your smile from my life again… I don’t know who the hell Harry is, Lils, but you’re mine. You’ve given yourself to me again and you’re staying with me.

My whole body stiffened, how did he know about Harry? I moved my hands from around his neck and placing my hands on his shoulders, I started to defensively push myself away from him. I could see in his eyes he felt it. I saw the hurt flicker there and then he closed his eyes and when he reopened them, it was gone.

The tense, emotional moment was broken with a friendly shout from the doorway.

‘Lily,’ it called out.

Jack silently lowered me to the floor. Immediately I felt bereft, missing his intimate touch.

I turned my head away from Jack to find Charlie standing in the open doorway. The past few years hadn’t really changed him at all. His hair was still in the familiar crewcut it had always been and he seemed to have a few extra tattoos poking out from his T-shirt, but that was it. Maybe one of his eyes was slightly different, I wasn’t sure how, but it seemed to be more hooded than I remembered.

Some people found Charlie to be crass, but I didn’t. He was just Charlie, he had always been honest and straightforward with me. He had been a constant in my emotionally volatile life. My memories of Charlie were completely straight in my head. We had never had a cross word, he had never hurt me. I only remembered him as being a good friend. My own vulnerability hit me in waves and coursed through my body. I moved as quickly as I could away from Jack and flung myself at Charlie until he engulfed me in his bear-like arms.

I found solace there wrapped up in his embrace and I knew I would also get some answers.

‘Make sure she fucking eats,’ I heard as Jack’s boots banged on the floor as he strode past us, and once again he walked out through the door.