As I suspected, the ambulance lost the SUV and everybody else who was following. We drove around the streets of New York before finally pulling in somewhere. I couldn’t see because I couldn’t move my head but I could see the shadows come over the windows as wherever it was, we were obviously in a parking garage of some sort.
Nancy had sat next to me and held my hand the whole time with that creepy smile on her face. She told me how great it was that I was finally going home and that everything was going to be as it should be now. I had no idea what she was talking about or what she meant but I had decided that she was crazy first, which most likely made her easy to brainwash.
Matthew was obviously behind all of this and he probably preyed on people like her to do his bidding in every way he could. I saw him put on the charm and put on the victim mask. He was good at both and if you weren’t observant enough to see the lack of emotion in his eyes, you might even be able to believe him.
The crooked paramedics as I had taken to calling them, got out of the ambulance and I heard the echo of the parking garage as a confirmation of the parking garage. As we waited for them to open the doors and take my stretcher out, I felt my left forefinger move. Everything in me jumped for joy! It was the first time I could move anything on my body in at least an hour or so.
I continued to make my finger move, enjoying the feeling of having control over something again. I hated feeling helpless. I hated it more than anything else in this world, besides Matthew Ward, of course. I was not looking forward to seeing him again. My stomach was tied in knots from anxiety thinking about our last encounter.
I tried to see if I could move anything else as I was pushed to wherever I was going. Nothing else was cooperating. I tried to speak and did get a tiny moan out. This caught Nancy’s attention as she was walking beside the stretcher.
“Oh, look who is starting to come back. Don’t worry, it will be a few hours yet before you’re fully back but it’s a good sign that you are having little breakthroughs.”
I wanted to punch her in the face. I also wanted to tell her how thirsty I was. I needed water so badly, I thought I might die. I tried to make myself moan more but that tiny noise was about the extent of it for now.
We went through the very small parking garage into an elevator and I could see there were only four buttons. Were we in a townhouse? I was hoping it was a condo building but no such luck. As the elevator doors opened into a spacious hallway with high-end finishes, I knew, it was a townhouse. Matthew Ward could afford it and it probably had incredibly security. There is no way anybody would be able to find me here. Nobody saw me come in and the neighbors were other freehold residences. That helpless feeling I hated so much grew with this realization.
I was wheeled into a bedroom and the stretcher was lowered so I could be transferred to a bed with white linens that felt very soft to the touch. At least I wasn't being put in some sort of hole where I would be fed gruel. That was still a likely possibility, though. I had to be prepared for anything from now on. I could only hope that if he planned to kill me that he would do it quickly and not drag this on.
The paramedics left and it was just me and Nancy in the room. She was busying herself with making the pillows and blanket just right around me. She also had some bottles of water next to me for when I was able to drink again. I tried so hard to get my hands to move and grab a bottle of water. I wasn’t there yet and I wanted to scream. I kept staring at the droplets of condensation rolling down the bottles. If I could have licked my lips, I would have.
Nancy was going on and on about my responsibilities and how it would be difficult at first but I would get used to it. I tried to drown this woman out. She was crazy. I pretty much discounted anything she said but I did remind myself that I would have to keep her placated once I could speak again because she could be dangerous. I would have to go along and just nod my head and smile. I vowed to do just that.
Just then, the door opened and Mac limped through it. His eyes lit up when he saw me and he half sat, half collapsed next to me on the bed.
“Alice!” He started hugging me and then leaned back with a confused look when I didn’t hug him back.
I tried to make some sort of expression. I made myself scream in my head but the only thing that came out was another tiny moan. I moved my finger and as I was trying to move my whole body, I realized that I could wiggle the big toe of my right foot. Slowly but surely, I would be able to communicate with Mac soon.
“She can’t talk or hug right now. She’s been given a pipecuronium bromide injection.” Nancy explained to Mac and let out a little laugh. “You remember what that’s like.” Mac’s eyes looked concerned for a brief second and he shot me a glance that lasted a second before seeming to gather himself and change the look on his face.
“Of course. I remember. I’m sure it was necessary.” He looked at me with a blank face but I could see something in his eyes. His eyes looked full of life. “Don’t worry Alice, this is just more of the looking glass.” He smiled and winked at me and I felt a little relieved to see a bit of his old self come through. I knew it wouldn’t be obvious to Nancy but I knew Mac and this was him trying to make me feel better. It worked. I needed it so badly.
“Don’t worry, Alice. I know it seems counterintuitive but this is actually exactly what we have been working towards. Alice, we are about to be free.” He grabbed my hand that was now able to move three fingers.
I tried to move them to show him I understood but they wouldn’t move very well. I would have to wait until this damn injection wore off.
“Okay, Mac. Look, she needs to rest, she’s been through a lot. Once she gets over this, you guys can talk under Gerard’s supervision. You know the drill. Until then, clear out. There are things for you to do.”
Mac looked at me and smiled. He had a look of confidence in his eyes. I was going to hold onto that while we were apart in this weird, hellish world we both found ourselves in. I supposed it was a side effect of making your life about revenge.
“Okay, Alice. I’ll be back. I can’t wait to finally fill you in on so much I couldn’t tell you before.” He kissed me on my cheek and and I felt his breath on me as he quickly whispered. “Hang in there, Alice.” He the got up and went to leave. “You are going to tell me as soon as she is mobile again, right?” He looked as Nancy as he passed her.
“Yes, yes. Now go.” Nancy waved him off and dismissed him. That seemed good enough for him and he left.
I felt a bit of a relief that Mac had his wits about him. He had obviously fooled Nancy and possibly even Matthew that he was on their side, somehow. My curiosity was more than piqued. Unfortunately, that mixed with my anxiety about the situation I was in. Without Mac there, I felt my safety in jeopardy again.
I tried to move my head and could feel that it was moving just a little bit. I was able to follow Nancy around the room as she put my stuff away. How nice of her.
“I think we’ll have you wear this to dinner tomorrow night. Not tonight, no, no. You need to rest and take in a lot of fluids. I told Mr. Ward that if he wanted you to full capacity that he had better let me take care of you the first day.”
What was she talking about? I wanted to run so badly. I wanted to bolt out of there and find Christopher. I would find him and we would disappear together from all of this craziness. We would stay in bed for weeks and do nothing but hold each other and make love. I would rest my head on his beautiful chest and hug his body and never let go. The tears were streaming down my cheeks again.
“Oh, now, now. There is absolutely nothing to cry about.” Nancy had noticed my tears and came over with a tissue to dry my eyes. My head was starting to move with more agility and I tried to move my head away. I wanted to be far away from her.
“Well now, you are coming back quickly, aren’t you Mrs. Ward?” She smiled at my futile resistance and patted the tissue around my eyes to dry them.
I tried to see if I could make louder moans and they did seem to be louder. It was definitely easier to make noises now. Before it took everything inside of me screaming to make a tiny moan but now it was less effort with more output. I couldn’t wait to come fully back. I would easily overtake this woman and get out of here. I was ready. I felt like a caged animal. Actually, I was a caged animal and I was going to fight like one.
“Mrs. Ward, you know how this goes. You’ll be completely back to normal soon. It’s going to be okay. Just like it always is.”
How was it that every word out of her mouth became more and more alarming? Just when I thought she was crazy enough, she got crazier. Did she think I was Christopher’s mom? And what did she mean “back to normal” and “like it always is?” I had a feeling that Christopher’s mom might not be the vegetable he thinks she is.
Nancy doted on me and brushed my hair and dressed me in a cotton nightgown that felt good against my skin, I had to admit. She was treating me like a doll and I hated it. I continued to get more movement back and started making plans in my head of how I would overtake her.
“Looks like it’s time to bring out your bracelet.” She said in a sing song voice as she saw my whole arm move.
I was celebrating in my head until I heard her say that. Bracelet? That couldn’t be good. I tried to see what else I could move. My right leg started to twitch and I could feel that it would be moving soon. The nerves were waking up and the speed at which I would have my body back was increasing tenfold.
I fought the paralysis that was left in me with as much determination as I could but it wasn’t enough and when Nancy returned, she was holding a locking hospital cuff with lambskin on the inside. I told my brain to help me run away but nothing was cooperating fully yet. Panic set in but I was too late.
I felt her buckle the cuff on my left wrist and lock it to a chain that went to a bed post. I was trapped. Even more than I thought I was. I had to think about another way of escape. I felt exhaustion come over my body and as she was talking to me about more insane nonsense that made no sense to me, I drifted off, hoping this would all be a dream.
In those last few seconds, I thought of Christopher and how worried he would be. I thought of how nice his arms felt around me and I could feel another tear slip out. There were so many of those lately, so many more than I was used to.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
I was falling. I was falling out of the window of Christopher's living room in his penthouse. My hand went up to try to grab his as he frantically tried to grab me. Our hands came very close but not enough and I felt myself fall back, free falling to the pavement. I yelled out Christopher's name and all of a sudden my voice was in a tunnel as I kept falling.
I awoke with a jolt and heard a rattling. My arm was stopped by something. I moved my head to the left to see what was happening and then it all came flooding back to me. My left wrist was in a hospital restraint, chained to the bed. I was in some sort of very expensive townhouse and Nurse Nancy was treating me like a doll.
The fact that I could barely move when I fell asleep registered with me and I tested my mobility immediately. Everything was working, thank God. I moved my head around and kicked my feet. I moved my arms, with my left arm being caught up again.
I felt the luxury of the movement as I got my muscles working. I laughed and heard an actual laugh come out. It sounded like it was coming from a maniac but it was still wonderful. I yelped and it sounded exactly as it should have sounded. At that moment, it didn’t matter what was happening around me, I was so happy to have control of my body again.
“Well, look who’s up!” Nancy came waltzing in, obviously having heard my signs of life. I glared at her and it felt so good to be able to glare, to have any expression I wanted on my face. “Oh, that’s not a good look on you. I like it better when you’re incapacitated, you know.”
“Ha. I bet you do. So you can treat me like a doll some more? No thank you.” I sat up the best I could with my arm tethered to the bed.
“I wouldn’t go there if I were you.” Nancy looked at me and sneered. “I’m the best friend you’ve got in this place. Your brother can’t help you the way I can.” She looked at me with that dark look that sent a chill through me a few seconds longer and then like a switch was flicked, her eyes went bright and cheerful and mesmerized again. “You already know all of this, Mrs. Ward. Why do you insist on acting like you don’t? Did those drugs mess with your memory again?”
She was wagging her finger at me and talking to me like I was five. Again? What did that mean? All of a sudden the realization I had earlier about Christopher’s mom came back to me. I had to defuse the situation a little bit so I could get information out of her.
“You’re right, Nancy. I’m sorry.” Oh, it felt so good to talk. I closed my eyes and appreciated the flow of words that I could control coming out of my mouth for a second. “I’m sorry, I think I just had too much to process.”
She relaxed a little bit when I said that. Her eyes softened and had an affection in them, like an appreciation for my respect. I wondered how things were between her and Christopher’s mother. Maxine had to dislike this kind of treatment as much as I did. I wonder how she was dealing with it all these years. Then it hit me, oh my god, what if that's my fate too? What if I was to spend the next several decades locked away in a mental hospital with Nancy? I started to tremble at the thought and tried so hard to control it.
“Of course you have, sweetie. Of course you have. I don’t doubt that for a minute. Here, I have your dinner.” She opened the door with a key and bent down to pick up a tray that was right outside. Closing the door behind her, she relocked it. I was paying attention to all of her habits and quirks. I would find a weakness. I would find an opportunity and I would be out of there. Mac taught me well.
Mac! What had happened to Mac? I had to know. I watched Nancy gently put the tray on my lap and arrange the blanket so that it wasn’t bunched up. She handed me a bottle of water.
“Drink it slowly, but drink as much down as you can.” She set herself up on a chaise in the corner with her laptop and a few other items she collected around her.
“Thank you, Nancy. I appreciate the food very much.” I took a sip of water and I was definitely in need of it. My eyes closed at the quenching of thirst the water provided. All of these things I normally took for granted like water and movement were feeling so good to me; as if I had just been fitted with a new body.
She nodded her head in affirmation and watched me closely as I picked up my fork with my right hand, which also happened to be my free hand, to start in on my dinner. It was a basil pasta with tomatoes, multi grain toast and an apple. Not bad. I would take it. I had to admit that I was famished.
“I was just wondering if you are going to let Mac know I’m awake and mobile so we can have some time to catch up and he can get me up to speed?” I took a bite of my food and looked at her innocently.
“I’ll wait until you finish your dinner and your water and then I’ll talk to Mr. Ward about it.” She eyed me suspiciously. “He will probably want to monitor you two, you know.” She pointed up at a camera that was mounted in a corner.
I turned around and followed where she was pointing and then looked at her in surprise after seeing the camera. I quickly tried to cover the initial reaction lest I give too much away. Dammit. So everything was under surveillance. Of course it was. I don’t know why I was so surprised.
I also had to acknowledge that Nancy just gave me information that was very useful that she didn’t have to give me. Maybe that’s what she meant by helping me. It didn’t come off as help but it sure was good information to have. I would have to keep an eye on her, I was getting the feeling that she might be useful. That was likely a very thin line, though and I would have to tread carefully.
“Thank you, Nancy. That’s okay, though. Mac and I have nothing to hide.” I smiled at her as I took in a bite of pasta.
“Of course you don’t, dear.” She returned my smile and went back to doing whatever she was doing on the computer. I finished my meal in silence. When I took in my last bite, it was like an alarm went off and Nancy immediately stood up to take the tray away.
“Okay, let’s get you cleaned up and then I’ll send Mac in to see you.” She came over with a key for the cuff and every cell in my body tightened. This could be my chance. “I want to remind you about that?” She pointed at the camera again. “If you try anything funny, somebody will be in here within seconds. The boy may have had an impressive security team but you have no idea how extensive his father’s team is.”
I nodded my head weakly. I had to assume she was telling the truth. I had no choice. Who knows what kind of trouble I would be in if she was right and I foolishly thought I could escape with a surveillance camera watching me and probably bigger, burlier and meaner Igors all over the place.
She unlocked my cuff and I brought my arm to my front as I rubbed my wrist and then stretched the arm across my body. I started to get up and out of bed and she quickly came to my side, holding my arm as she led me into the bathroom.
“This door will be locked, so know when your through. Don’t worry, anything sharp or weapon like has been removed.” Nancy smiled at me with that sickly sweet smile and crazy eyes as she closed the door. Seconds later, I heard the lock click.
I took a shower and enjoyed the luxurious feeling of the warm water. There were some high end toiletries in there and I used them liberally. I was also grateful that there were a plethora of towels and I also used them generously.
With a towel wrapped around me, I combed my hair out and blew it dry so that I looked somewhat recognizable as my old self. The stress of this whole situation was starting to show on me as I had lost a few pounds since all of this stress had started and I looked a little underweight. I would have to worry about that later.
After I finished, I knocked on the door and Nancy escorted me back to the room, pointing at the bed for me to sit down while she went through my clothes.
“Wait a second. Do I not get to pick out my own clothes?” I was a bit harsh when I asked but this was really getting ridiculous.
“I have to inspect everything and since I have to do that, I might as well choose what you wear.” She grinned at me with a look that said, what are you going to do about it?
I shrugged my shoulders and screwed my face up disapprovingly in a begrudging acceptance. I looked down at my legs and tried to keep my cool. Really, what could I do about it?
Nancy picked out a pair of yoga capris and a tank top. I, at least, was able to put it on myself. The things I was finding myself grateful for these days. This had turned into a stranger life than I could have ever imagined.
My arm was cuffed back to the bed post and I was back to sitting on a bed again. Back to being cooped up in a bedroom. I wondered how much longer I would have to do this. How much longer would I even be alive?
Nancy double checked my cuff and seemed satisfied. She left to get my brother and left me alone and conscious. This was another thing I was finding myself grateful for, being conscious. I stared at the wall and wondered what Christopher was doing. He was probably looking for me but who was he with? And were there more moles? I would have put money on the fact that there were.
I found myself missing him and craving him. I wanted to feel his touch again. I wanted to feel his breath in my ear as he whispered to me and his lips on my neck as he kissed down to my chest. I thought about how much I loved to run my hands through his hair and how soft his skin was.
He was so manly for a spoiled rich billionaire, too. He had a ruggedness to him that cut through his pretty boy face very nicely. It was a good combination and his piercing eyes did so many things to me. They made my body come alive.
“Alice! Finally, I have so much to tell you!” Mac came in, still limping and holding his ribs but looking slightly better than the day before. I was indescribably happy to see him and those damn tears showed up in my eyes again.
“Mac! Oh my god. Thank god! I am going crazy!”
He sat down on the bed, careful of his ribs and we hugged as much as his pain and the range of movement my chained up arm would allow. As he pulled away from the hug, he noticed the cuff, grabbed my forearm and inspected the lock and chain for a second before letting my arm go.
“There is a reason for all of this.” He spoke slightly louder than he needed to and the tense glance at the security camera sent the message that he couldn’t be straight with me.
“Mac, what in the hell is going on?” I got the message but I also knew that just immediately acting as if I was on his side would not be believed, nor should it be. They knew I was an independent and strong woman. I wouldn’t acquiesce that quickly and easily. I was counting on Mac understanding that as my motivation.
"Relax, Alice. Relax. You and I are safe. That's all that matters. Look, I know that Christopher has you under some sort of spell. I won't deny he's a very good looking man and he has been trained to brainwash people into thinking he's a good man. I know all about it. He's worked you over, that's okay. We'll fix you.”
“Who is “we,” Mac?” I sat up as much as I could with my arm cuffed.
“We have had another person join our revenge team. The night I was roughed up, I had actually been here for a couple of weeks. They had my phone and contacted you so you wouldn’t worry. But it was for a good cause. Matthew wants to see his family crumble and wants to go down with the ship as an act of contrition for everything the whole family has done.” His eyes were on me again and I knew that he was letting me know that this was all for the camera’s benefit. It was subtle but knowing him as well as I did, I picked up on it. I was counting on it not being wishful thinking on my part. I was pretty sure it wasn’t.
This also meant that he was held captive for weeks and had to be tortured. He had been going through this a very long time. He had been putting up this facade for this whole time. Knowing Mac, he was using it to his advantage and had a plan but I couldn’t know for sure. How was I going to get him alone and hear the whole story?
“Mac! My god. You’ve been here that long! I had no idea. I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” I was legitimately worried about him now.
“Better than okay, Alice. I know exactly how things are going to go down now and we are going to get our revenge in the most spectacular way possible.” He smiled a big smile and this was very genuine but I also knew that he was speaking double speak. What did he have up his sleeve?
“How? When? What the hell, Mac?”
“The night after we met for the last time. I went to get a beer, not realizing I was being followed. Christopher told you he was having me followed, yes? I have to hand it to him, it’s tough to pull something like that with me. He hires some pretty talented people and has a pretty sophisticated system. Unfortunately, his father is one step ahead of him and the guard assigned to me was actually a double agent for Matthew. All it took was getting some drugs into my beer and voila. I woke up in this townhouse.” His eyes flashed a bit of sadness and anger for a second but then he smiled again. “It turned out to be a very good thing, though, Alice.”
“Oh my god. Mac. I don’t. What? How do we get out of here?”
“We are where we’re supposed to be. Trust me.” He flashed a look at the camera again and I got the hint. I decided to switch the subject a bit.
“Okay, sure Mac. But one thing I don’t understand is what has Christopher done? How can you still want revenge on him? He has absolutely redeemed himself. Did you see how worried he was about you?” I asked, trying to play my part as believably as possible.
“Who do you think worked with Matthew’s father to frame Matthew for murder? Christopher and his grandfather made Matthew’s life hell. He knows he’s not innocent but he also knows that everything has to come down with him.” Mac’s voice cracked just slightly at the part about Matthew being framed for murder and I had to stifle a laugh at hearing Mac talk this way when I knew his real feelings.
Mac shifted a little bit as he had been in one position too long and the discomfort in his ribs was very apparent in the way he moved and moaned in pain and held onto his side. This looked like real pain and I felt so bad for him and everything he had been through. It was all starting to become clear and while I was glad that he seemed to think he had things under control, suddenly, our revenge plan didn’t feel good anymore. I just wanted him to be okay.
“Should you have some pain medication?”
“No, it’s okay. I’m okay. I’m getting through.” He looked at me with that look again. I could tell this was killing him to talk like this. Luckily, it wasn’t really noticeable but if we ever got out of this, I planned to rib him for this incessantly. It would be healing. I had to stifle a laugh again. It felt so comforting having him here with me in all this mess. “Anyway, he wanted revenge on his family as much as we did. He didn’t like what he’d become and he wanted t help us get back at his family and he agreed to include himself in the deal.”
“What do you mean, include himself?”
“He hates being a monster so much that he’s going to fall on his sword while we bring the whole Ward empire down.”
“And you believed him? Mac, I am in complete shock that this worked on you. I thought you were smarter than that.”
Mac’s eyes went dark and I could tell he was not enjoying this at all. He groaned in pain to cover it up. I tried not to smile. I thought about how much pain he was in and that helped keep a serious gaze. I wanted to make fun of him, not have him be in so much pain.
“He means it, Alison. He means every word. He promised me he would go down with the castle.”
“Again, I ask. You believe him?”
“I do. And you will too.” He smiled, I could tell it was forced and did a quick glance to the camera again.
I didn’t know where to go from there. Where could I steer the conversation? What would I have said if I thought he meant all of this?
"It was a necessity to bring down the whole ship, Alice…Alison. It had to be done. Bringing down the Ward empire will be much more gratifying just seeing Matthew go to a white collar prison."
I laid my head back against the head board with my pillow. I was starting to feel pretty exhausted and it was no wonder. I had been through a lot. So had Mac. I lifted my head up and watched his face flinch in pain as he shifted positions.
“Matthew told me everything. He was upset when his father died. He wanted his father to see everything fall. He would have left Christopher alone if Christopher had just done his own thing but he solidified the fact that he and his grandfather were the same by taking over and replacing his grandfather’s head, basically. The whole house of cards — and like so many billionaire empires in New York…well in the world, actually it really is a house of cards — has to come crashing down. Your boy has saved it a little bit but not enough. Your boy, by the way, is just as much of a monster as Matthew, just in a different way.”
Oh, here we go. This is the story Matthew tried to sell me. So, now Mac had to act like he believed it. If we made it alive out of this whole situation, I started planning having an Oscar replica made for Mac. He was good. It was time for my part.
“Matthew tried to tell me this. I don’t understand how you can believe anything Matthew says. Mac, this man killed our parents. This man raped my mother.” Tears started to form and sting my eyes as my Mother’s kind face flashed through my mind. I knew this was a façade but the feelings were real. I saw Mac’s eyes go soft for a second. I knew he was there with me behind those eyes.
“That’s why Matthew wants to help us. He wants to atone and the only way to do that is to take the empire down and fall with it.”
“Mac, listen to me. Look at how this guy is living. The double spies, the grand townhouse, he’s still living like a billionaire. He’s still exerting influence. Do you really think he’s ready to give all this up?”
“He will. Alice. He promised.” This time he purposefully looked up at the camera and smiled.
“What did Matthew do to you? How can you trust a guy who beat you up like this?” I pointed to his ribs and the bruises that were still showing on his arms.
“That? Oh, well yeah, it hurts like a bitch but this was planned. It was a way for me and Nancy to wedge ourselves in there. And it worked like a charm.” A look of regret passed through his face. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t anticipating on me being brought here and being put in the line of danger, being available to Matthew’s whims. I shivered at that thought.
Just then the door opened and Matthew Ward walked in, looking a little annoyed but smiling through it. I saw his eyes, though. It was obvious he had been watching the whole thing and he wanted to stop Mac from giving me any more information.
I felt myself start to shake and my PTSD immediately kicked in. I couldn’t get the evil look on his face and the feeling of his hand against my throat out of my mind. My whole body felt a chill and started shivering.
“Hello. How wonderful to have the siblings together! Mac, I think you’ve gotten our guest here up to speed. They need your help downstairs with the server.”
Mac looked up and saw Matthew and there was a hint of fear and revulsion in his eyes but he got a hold of himself quickly. He was good at that. My step brother was a badass and I had so much admiration for him at that moment. I would have to figure out a way to talk to him without any cameras or “chaperones.”
“Oh, that thing that Jason was working on? Right, I’ll go right now.” He turned to me and the discomfort of the movement showed on his face. “We’ll talk later. Just trust me, okay Alice?”
“No, Mac. Please, stay. I…want you to stay. Please.” I was so scared to be left alone with Matthew. I had no idea what he would do to me without any worry of any bystanders or anybody interrupting him.
“It’s okay. It’s fine. I’ll explain it all later. You’ll be okay. I promise.”
He got up slowly and held his ribs as he left, walking by Matthew without saying anything else to him. I watched him go with trepidation and tried to avoid eye contact with Matthew in the process. I immediately looked ahead and tried to pretend he wasn’t there.
He walked towards the bed and then slowly sat down where Mac was next to me on the bed. I noticed him smiling in my peripheral vision. Terror blanketed my body and my shaking became more noticeable. Trying hard to keep it steady, I continued to look forward and try to pretend he wasn’t there.
His hand went to my neck and every part of me recoiled. I looked at him quickly and then looked ahead. It was a look that lasted less than a second but the sadistic look on his face jumped out at me and burned into my brain. I was expecting him to be rough but he just caressed the bruises on my neck and looked closer to inspect them. I couldn’t control the shakes that wracked my body and I was full on shaking as he did it. My fear was more than obvious and I didn’t know how to be this vulnerable to a predator.
“Mmmm, I like how scared you are of me.” He brought his caresses down my neck and lightly traced the line of my breasts through my clothes. “I have you exactly where I want you now, Alison.” I looked at him with fear I couldn’t control in my eyes and his smile went wider.
“Please.” My voice was so squeaky and weak. It didn’t sound like me at all. It was fitting because none of this was me. None of this was my life. “Please, let Mac go.” Tears streamed down my face for the millionth time that day.
He looked at me and laughed; a very contained but sinister sounding laugh.
“No. I don’t think so, Alison. Besides, Mac doesn’t even feel the need to be let go.” His hand moved up to my hair and he pushed a strand behind my ear, very gently, exactly the way Christopher had done several times. That pushed out even more tears.
“What did you do to him?” I continued to stare straight ahead so I wouldn’t have to look at him but my contempt for him was very prominent mixed with the fear in my shaky voice.
“I love how spirited you are.” He continued to smooth my hair and I closed my eyes in disgust. I couldn’t move. I felt as paralyzed as when I had the injection Nancy gave me. “I may have influenced him. I used much more skilled techniques than just manipulation with your brother, though. He was a tough nut to crack, but like anything, I always find a way.” He laughed and stood up as he walked around to the foot of the bed, right in the line of my sight.
I rolled my eyes through the tears that kept falling and looked to the wall on the right. He walked over there, too. I wasn’t going to get away from looking at him. He wanted me to and he wasn’t going to let it go. I gave up and forced myself to look at him, disgust and fear both rising up inside of me. I had to use all of my willpower not to look away.
“You proud of that, are you? You figured out how to control an emotionally vulnerable hacker whose father you killed? Well done, Matthew. Congratulations. Bravo.” The disgust and disdain I had for him continued to rise and started to replace my fear, though it was still very much there. It was a combination that was starting to make me feel sick.
“You underestimate your brother. Even with how broken he was, it was still quite the challenge. I’m particularly proud of breaking that brain.” He smiled at me and I wanted to puke. “Of course, I couldn’t have as much fun as I wanted to with it because I needed him to be useful.” He sat down next to me again on the other side of the bed and brought his hand to my jaw to hold it in place right in front of him. “I need you to be useful too, you know. Just…in a different way.”
I wrestled my jaw out of his hand and looked away, more tears streaming my face without my permission. I had to get out of here. I wanted to crawl out of my skin. My nerves were all on fire in a bad way and it felt like I had something crawling on me. He was a true to life Voldemort.
I held onto the fact that Mac had fooled him. He was such a narcissist that he couldn’t see that Mac was placating him. It was taking a lot of strength for Mac to do that. I knew how deep his hate went and how hard it would be to pretend to agree with Matthew’s skewed side of the story. I took in a deep breath and tried to pull from Mac’s strength.
“I won’t make it easy for you. Oh sure, you probably like that but I mean it in a much different way.” I looked at him with eyes full of hatred. “I won’t fight you. I won’t resist. Go ahead, do whatever the hell you want. I will just lay there and not react. I won’t give you the satisfaction that you crave of hurting me. You’ve already done everything you can to me. My body is not something I hold sacred. As you probably know, I’ve used it to gather information before. I know how to disassociate.”
He laughed and stood up again. Walking to my closet, he opened the doors and looked at what was hanging there.
“My son has been terrible at dressing you.” He turned around and looked at me. “I’ll have something sent up. We are having dinner tomorrow night.” Walking to the door, he stopped and turned around. “I will use your body; however I see fit. And it’s fitting that you have used it before for a purpose because I want to do the very same. We are going to send you back to my son. After a little time with me. You are going to be quite useful. In the meantime, enjoy thinking about what’s in store for you.”
With that, he laughed and shut the door behind him. I grabbed the porcelain tissue box on the night stand next to me and threw it at the door. I also threw a few choice words at him and then looked up at the camera in the other corner.
“Never. Do you hear me? I won’t do it and I won’t let you make me do it!” I screamed in frustration and then collapsed my head into my pillow, letting the tears fall out and having the soft pillow mask my further screams.
I thought about how horrible it would be to betray Christopher against my will. My sobs intensified as I pictured Christopher’s hurt face, which was replaced by memories of my mother’s face during the tumultuous time before her accident.
Matthew Ward was a pox on this world and I had to see if I could somehow get Mac alone so that I could hear his plan. We had to turn all of this around. The good guys always win, right?