James
I didn’t see her on the weekend. I had to see my brother – something I also dreaded – and I didn’t want her involved in, ever.
By Monday morning I was sick of my family all over again and happy to escape back to the office. Not just because work was Charlie-free but because Ava would be there. We had an appointment for nine and she would probably stay until lunch.
It wasn’t always a good idea to have Ava come around to the office but I wanted to see her. Besides, Amanda and all her upsets didn’t intimidate me. I could do what I wanted. Even the finances that I had Ava look into wasn’t illegal, it was just behind Amanda’s back.
Ava walked into my office at nine on the dot. I’d been there for a while – I hadn’t been able to stay at home when I knew she was coming in.
She was glowing. Maybe I was biased because to me she. was ethereal, a vision, anyway. Her dark hair was pulled back from her face, her makeup minimal. Her dark eyes stood out and I shivered when they fell on me. She wore a dark green dress suit that looked fantastic on her. Again, I was completely biased. I liked her.
I liked her very much.
“Morning,” she said and smiled.
“Hello, beautiful.” I smiled right back at her. She blushed and sat down. I focused on the atmosphere in the office. There was no tension, such a contrast from the last time we’d worked together. Everything was relaxed, being around her felt right. It was right that she was here.
“I got this for you,” I said.
I handed her a stack of papers. She frowned.
“What’s this?”
“I asked Burgess for a few more papers that involved the income projections.”
“Burgess is very tight with Amanda?”
I nodded. “He is, but I own half the company and therefore pay half his salary. He can’t refuse me.”
She nodded and flipped through the pages.
“These are great, thank you.”
I watched her work. Her face was riddled with concentration, her brows knitted in a frown and I was absolutely taken by her. How could I have let someone like her slip away from her?
She looked up at me. “How are you planning on approaching it once I’m finished?” she asked.
I hadn’t thought about that.
“I guess it depends on what we find.”
Ava nodded slowly. “No matter what it is?”
I understood why she was asking. I didn’t exactly agree with Caleb or her that Amanda would do this to me, even though I didn’t want her to know what I was doing. I may not have been blaming her for what might have been happening but I didn’t want her to think I didn’t trust her.
“Just let me know what your final verdict is and I’ll take it from there,” I said. I didn’t want to talk about this now. I didn’t want to go into some kind of argument after we were so good together.
“I’ll have it ready for you by Wednesday,” she said.
“Wednesday? That’s specific.”
She nodded. “It has to be. I’m leaving at the end of the week.”
Blood drained from my face. Was she leaving?
“I took leave from my company to visit my family. I had taken most of that to this job here but my stay is coming to an end.”
I hadn’t thought about her leaving. I hadn’t thought about anything other than the fact that she was here again and I could see her. I should have looked at the bigger picture, I should have thought what would happen. I’d just been in the middle of a dream.
“I didn’t realize you were leaving so soon,” I said.
Ava nodded. “I have a life in Chicago to get back to.”
I blinked. “Do you want to go back?”
She looked at me, silent for a beat.
“What else should I do, James? Being back here was great, seeing you again was a shock at first but we’ve had a good time. It is ending though.”
“It’s always like that with us, isn’t it?” I asked. “If it’s not me leaving for home, it’s you.”
She shrugged. “Sometimes that’s how it works.”
I nodded slowly but I didn’t understand. She turned her attention back to her work. I guess I should have let her get back to it. I couldn’t. I couldn’t just let it go.
“This is what you want?” I asked.
She looked up at me. “What?”
“To leave? To go back home?”
She frowned and put down the highlighter she’d been using.
“What else is there for me to do? This is a freelance setup. This isn’t a contract that keeps me here for years and years. And Tampa is not my home. I have a life that I’ve created for myself, friends, a home.”
I blinked at her. I didn’t know what I’d thought she would do. I wanted her to stay, but what would that mean? A long-term relationship? A life that involved her every day? She was always my summer fling. What would we be when we were serious. When we took it all the way?
I nodded and she turned her attention back to her work again. I swiveled my chair to the window and looked out over the city. Tampa wasn’t her home, she was right. It had never been. Once upon a time, the possibility was there. I had ruined that. And now? Was it an option now?
I didn’t know.
My phone rang. When I answered it, Charlie’s smug voice was on the other end of the line.
“Yes?” I asked.
“Are we having lunch later?”
He’d asked me over the weekend if we were having lunch. I had refused.
“I told you I can’t today,” I said. “I’m busy.”
“Right. With the accountant?”
I sighed. I wasn’t in the mood for him. I had spent two days with him, trying to do the right thing. We were still brothers and we hadn’t been seen together in a while. Everyone talked and gossip was doing the rounds. But two days was more than enough.
“Would you stop?” I asked. “I don’t appreciate what you're suggesting.”
“Easy, little bro,” Charlie said, his voice thick with laughter. “You know what it means when you get defensive.”
“It means I’m tired of you being a patronizing dick.”
Ava snapped her head up to me. I felt back from talking like that in front of her. Charlie was silent for a beat on the phone as well.
“God, I was just joking,” he said.
“Don’t,” I said. I wasn’t in the mood.
“I’ll call you when I have an opening for lunch again,” Charlie said tightly. “Probably not soon, though.”
“Right,” I said. “I have to go.”
I put down the phone and took a deep breath.
“What was that?” Ava asked.
I shook my head. “It was nothing.”
For the first time in my life, I had stood up against Charlie. He was just my brother but he reminded me of my father so much and I had feared my old man until the moment he had passed away. I felt that he watched me through Charlie’s eyes and all I ever found was disappointment.
Well, no more. I would stand up for myself and be proud of the life I had created for myself. That included my hobbies and habits and interests.
I got up.
“I’ll be back,” I said and I left the office. I walked to the men’s room and looked in the mirror. My emotions were a mess. Charlie had felt good but I was struggling with the idea that Ava was leaving.
How was I going to ask her to stay? Could I do that? Would she accept? I had told her that I loved her. Her body language had shown that she agreed, that she felt the same and accepted my affection, but she had never said those words.
What did that mean? That she was scared to say it because I’d hurt her before? It would make sense. Or did it mean that she just didn’t feel the same, that I was a good pastime but I wasn’t the real deal for her?
The problem was that I didn’t know her. I thought I did, once upon a time, but so many years had passed and we had both grown up. We had only seen each other a handful of times and I couldn’t begin to read her. I didn’t know how she felt about me.
I didn’t know how to ask.
I splashed cold water on my face and dried myself with the small white towel next to the basin before I headed back to the office. When I walked in, Ava looked up at me. I smiled at her. She smiled at her. I didn’t smile back.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“You signed off a separate legal entity?”
I blinked at her. “What?”
She shook her head and handed me a piece of paper. I read through the contents. My name and signature were at the bottom.
“I have never seen this before.”
“But that’s your signature.”
I shook my head. “I didn’t sign this. I don’t even know what it means.”
Ava looked at me. Did she believe me? I couldn’t tell.
“If you create separate legal entities and have them house liabilities it doesn’t have to appear on the parent company’s financial statements. Your expenses would be hidden from investors. It’s called off-balance-sheet items.”
I shook my head. I wasn’t quite sure what she was saying but it didn’t sound very good.
“I didn’t sign off on this,” I said. “Amanda signed it too, though.”
“Because you’re partners and that can’t happen without both of you being involved. This can’t happen with only one partner knowing about it or signing off on it.”
Her eyes were on mine, dark and churning, and I realized what she was getting at.
“You’re not suggesting that I’m involved in this, are you?” I asked.
She looked at the papers in front of her, not making eye contact.
“I’m just stating facts, James.”
I looked at the paper again and shook my head. “I would have remembered this. I don’t understand it and I wouldn’t have signed something I don’t understand.”
Ava nodded slowly. “You realize that it’s not exactly a good way to run a business, right? It’s very underhand.”
She was being condescending. I stiffened.
“I know what it means,” I said. “I’m saying that this isn’t something I would do.”
Ava nodded and got up.
“Where are you going?”
She started packing her bag.
“This is something that needs to go through Caleb. I need to find out if he knew anything about it and he needs to look at the paperwork. It’s almost time for me to go, anyway.”
I didn’t want her to leave. At the same time, I wanted her out of my sight. Did she imply that I was doing something wrong?
“I’ll let you know what’s happening,” she said and left without saying goodbye.
I scratched my head, feeling like an idiot. I hated feeling like an idiot.
How had this happened? How had I gone from deliriously happy to confused in such a short time?