Grace age 13
Noah age 13
Life is steadily falling apart. I fight my own sleep to keep an eye on Mom. Every time I do sleep, I wake up to find her passed out somewhere and my blood feels more like ice as I shake and jerk her until she finally stirs. It’s only a short bit of relief because I know I’ll fight her same demon tomorrow.
I don’t like when Grace cries, especially when her tears are for me. I don’t ever want to be the reason for her tears.
N.P.
Noah didn’t come back to school until his black eye was gone. He hadn’t visited me anymore at night since the night he touched me last week, but he made some time to come over and talk to me for a few minutes every day. It wasn’t nearly enough but I didn’t want anything bad to happen to Noah’s mom either.
But I wondered how long he could keep her from her choices?
That Monday when he came back, Noah dodged and answered questions like a pro about why he hadn’t been at school. He didn’t tell the truth. Even when he told my parents, he made it sound like his mom hit him by accident, neither of them said anything about it but the way my dad watched him that day sent a bad feeling in my stomach, like maybe he waited for the day to Noah to end up like his parents.
It had been seven years since we moved to this town and it hadn’t taken half of those to learn the reputation of The Phillips. They lied, they stole, and they did drugs. When Dad’s weed-eater was stolen last year, the first person he had assumed it had been was Noah’s dad. And if I really looked closer, I saw the way he watched Noah since then. If I hadn’t begged Dad that day, I knew he would have gone over to their house and confronted them.
Maybe it had been since then, or the day that Noah became a teen, that Dad occasionally watched him with a penetrating stare. I wondered if Noah sensed the way he watched him sometimes.
That evening at dinner, Mom said, “Noah hasn’t been coming over a lot this week.”
I took a bite of my mashed potatoes. “He’s been busy.” I wouldn’t say things behind Noah’s back.
Mom frowned. “I just hated to see him quit the football team. He was our best player.”
“Noah quit football?” Dad interjected, taking a little more interest than I liked. “Why did he do that?”
“He’s just… trying to be there for his Mom,” I managed to say.
“You mean, keeping her from OD-ing again,” Dad muttered under his breath.
“Steven!” Mom hissed.
“Yeah, actually.” I lifted my head. “No matter what, she’s his mom. Of course, he’d want to save her!”
“You can’t save someone that doesn’t want to be saved,” Dad told me. “Noah’s a good kid, but I’m afraid with the way things are going, he’s going to turn out just like his parents.”
“Steven,” Mom sighed.
“Dad!” I snapped. “This is Noah! My best friend, Noah, you are talking about. The boy that carries the groceries in for Mom every single Sunday and the one that helps you carry in wood in the winter and the boy that cuts our grass in the summer. Heck, he cuts everyone’s grass in the summer and gets paid for it! Don’t belittle him when he’s genuinely good and chooses to love his parents despite what little they do for him.”
I stood up to leave. “Sit back down, Grace,” Dad barked. He placed his fork down and looked at me. “Why don’t you invite your friends from school over Grace? Why don’t you hang out with girls your age instead of a boy? It’s not normal.”
“Enough, Steven,” Mom was angry now. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you but there’s nothing wrong with Grace hanging out with Noah. He’s a good boy.”
Dad snorted, even I was taken aback by the way he was acting. “How do we know he’s not making her keep to herself with just him and her.” He looked at me. “Is that it? Is he jealous and doesn’t want you to have any other friends over?”
“What are you talking about? I don’t invite my friends over because I don’t want to share him!”
Even Mom looked surprised by my answer. My cheeks were hot and I regretted the words the moment I said them.
“Is that so? Then time to start learning.”
“What do you mean?” I asked him.
“I mean, you aren’t kids anymore. I’ve ignored the way he’s always looked at you before because you were kids but I won’t anymore.”
Mom covered her face with her hand. My lungs burned with fury. Did Mom perhaps tell Dad what I said? I wouldn’t think she would do that to me, but then again, Dad was her husband and I was his child. It was so infuriating to be a kid. I held my tears as I studied both my parents before running upstairs.
Of course, Noah finally came that night and as happy as that made me, I knew I had to tell him to leave. Noah could tell something was bothering me the moment I met him at the window. He didn’t even step into my room.
He frowned. “What’s wrong, Priss?”
Just because it was Noah, I couldn’t hold in my tears. I covered my eyes up and he pulled me in. The November air was cold, but Noah was so warm. “For now, it’s best for you not to come up into my room.” He tilted his head. “My dad, he’s being weird. I think he knows our relationship has changed and it makes me feel guilty, but I don’t want you to stay away because of it.”
“He’s not being weird Grace. You’re just finally picking up on what I’ve always felt.” He wiped my eyes and smiled sadly. “He’s just getting to the point to where he can’t hold it in... You hanging out with someone like me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” I whimpered.
He smiled. “I know, silly. I’ll see you at school tomorrow, okay?”
I nodded and fell into a better place when he left me with a kiss.