Grace age 16
Noah age 17
Every chance I get while I’m working at the garage, I pull out my phone and stare at the picture she sent me the night before of her and Gus. She’s so damn beautiful I can’t stand it. I need to see her again so bad that it hurts. I think it’s worse now that I’ve finally seen her again. Now, I know what I’ve missed, how much she’s grown like I have over the years and it’s fucking depressing because I know without a doubt, Grace should have been my girl.
Somehow, Dustin got her.
Not for long.
My future hasn’t changed. Grace is still the only thing I see.
N.P.
Sara said I looked a little too happy when she dropped me off at my house before going home herself. Noah left me alone last night so that I could hang out with the girls. After a fresh shower, Mom let me get some driving in today. I was going to call and make my appointment to take my test this week or next.
I sent Noah a text when we got home.
Me: I’m home & I still remember the conversation we’re supposed to have
He texted back immediately.
Noah: Like I could 4get how insistent and blunt you can be when it comes to… well, everything?
I snorted and Dad looked up from his tablet. I moved from the couch and went to my room.
Me: Good, as long as you know
Noah: No hot date with Dustin 2nite?
Me: Just me and Gus.
I wondered how long I could keep from not telling him about me being boyfriend-less before I crawled onto his lap and let him figure it out on his own? Not that I had much to worry about, it didn’t look like it was going to be easy to see him.
Noah: Sounds like a wiener to me.
LOL get it?
Winner.
I should just stop now.
I burst into giggles.
Shit. That didn’t even make sense, did it?
Grace?
Dkjfkdfjgkfjkj
After all the texts, he called and I swiped my finger across the screen but couldn’t answer because I was still laughing. “There you are,” he said when he heard me. “Was it that funny? Breathe Grace. You need to get out more if you think my lame jokes are funny.”
I finally calmed down somewhat. “That was just so random,” I snorted and now he was the one laughing. “I don’t know, I guess I haven’t laughed like that in a while so it saw your lame text as a good outlet.”
“I really want to see you Grace,” he surprised me by saying.
“Me too,” I said a bit too breathy for someone that was supposed to have a boyfriend.
“How about we… hang out next weekend?” he asked.
My heart leaped from my chest. “I’d really like that.”
“Think your mom will let you?” he asked. She wasn’t the one I worried about but I didn’t plan on telling Dad as long as Mom didn’t.
“Yeah.” I curled my feet up as I sat on the bed. “So…”
“I know where you’re going, and we are not having this conversation at two o’clock in the afternoon,” he paused, “I’ll call you tonight then you can ask me whatever until you’re satisfied.”
“I feel like you’re trying to prolong this conversation as long as you can.”
He sighed into the phone. “I don’t want to tell you what I’ve done with another girl.”
“Too bad,” I said.
“Why are you so curious?” he asked suddenly. “I feel like this will only make the distance between us seem bigger than I want it to be.”
Because I was a glutton for punishment, apparently. “We’ve always been close, even more than Sara and Tiffany, you’ve always been my best friend… What’s wrong with telling each other these things? I would tell you if I had…”
“All right, Priss,” he muttered. “I’ll tell you everything in detail tonight so that you’re pretty little head is satisfied.”
I wasted the day away waiting for night to fall just so I could hear Noah’s dirty details. My brain wasn’t wired right when it came to him. I was sad that he had been with other girls but at the same time, I couldn’t wait to hear what all he’d done. Maybe if I hadn’t seen Noah this Friday, I would have eventually gone further with Dustin and would’ve had a story to share with Noah. But more than a story, I wanted Noah to be in mine.
Now that I knew where to look on Facebook, I found myself on several people’s profiles that went to the same school as Noah and regretted it as soon as I had. A lot of the girls had pictures of him in class, on the field, just doing all sorts of things. I saw several of him from two years ago and my stomach dropped that I had missed little things that all these other people got to see. If only Noah had an account, I would have been able to find him sooner… He never cared for things like that though… I stumbled across a picture of him with some pretty blonde hugging him and he was smiling in a different direction from the camera…
Yep, I thought that was enough of torturing myself for the evening.
Dustin had also switched his status back to single and posted obvious quotes aimed at me… I rolled my eyes and tossed my phone on the bed.
Ugh… Call me Noah.
Gus was at my feet biting my toes to get my attention. I scooped him up in my arms when my phone started going off. I squeaked and jumped on the bed with Gus. His ears flattened as he momentarily looked at me like I had lost my mind.
“Hey,” I said nice and easy despite my excitement.
“What are you doing?” he asked. I heard rustling in the background.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Nothing, just got out of the shower. Heading to my room now,” he said.
“Well, now, shall we begin?” I got straight to the point.
He laughed lightly. “You don’t waste no time.”
I helped Gus with the cover after he struggled to get himself underneath it before I climbed underneath it myself and lay on my side.
“Well, what do you want to know?”
“Everything,” I told him. He groaned so I asked, “How many?”
“Just one.”
“Just one?” I repeated, incredulous. “I’ve not even gotten to the one.”
“Is this what this is about?” I could hear the smile in his voice. “You hate that you’re still a virgin? Dustin that lacking when it comes to kissing?” he couldn’t help but ask.
“Don’t change the subject,” I griped. “Did you like her…?”
He laughed at me. “Well, I sure didn’t hate her.”
“You know what I mean,” I groaned. “Was it l—love or just—”
“I just wanted to have sex, Priss, I wanted to explore the female body inside and out so I did. So that I can please that special someone when I finally…”
He let his words fade and I blushed. “So… What did you do with her?”
“Everything.”
“Everything?” I covered my mouth and repeated. My face was so warm.
“I guess not everything… I haven’t tried anal.”
“Noah,” I gasped and he laughed. This was painfully embarrassing for some reason. “I don’t think I’d ever want to do that,” I told him honestly.
“I was waiting for you to say that.”
“Well.” I smiled and gripped my phone. “Did you make her feel good?”
“You should know better than anyone that I’m all about making her feel good… don’t ya, Grace? After all, you were the first girl I ever gave an orgasm to.” I felt his words between my thighs. I pressed them together. This was the first time we were bringing up the events that happened before he was taken by social services. At the same time, my heart hurt because I wanted those things with Noah. “What’s wrong? You’ve gone all quiet on me,” he whispered, his words almost seemed sad.
“I hate it, Noah,” I couldn’t stop myself. “I thought I’d be—that you’d be—”
“I know,” his faint voice soothed and broke me all at once. “When I contacted your mom the second time, I didn’t know what we’d go back to, I made the choice to do things, I thought that you would make the same choices, hell, I was terrified that you would forget about the trashy boy that was your best friend.”
“I could never forget you, Noah.”
Silence.
He finally said, “Even after all this time, nothing’s changed, has it? To me, you’re my best friend.” He paused. “You’re still everything.”
I sunk my head into my pillows to stifle the tears. “You’re my best friend too, Noah. Always.”